Move in before or after the wedding?

tweetiej13 · March 2010

Great idea smv127! I know a few people that already lived together before getting married that barely enjoyed their wedding because they just wanted to "get it out of the way" since nothing would change after their wedding.

My fiance and I are renting a place and getting it ready before the wedding, but we are not moving in until the day of the wedding so that way the night of the wedding we can go home and celebrate our first night as a married couple and the first night in our new house!

JMW22 · March 2010

My fiance and I have been living together for the past year. I think it's a great idea to live together before you tie the knot because it gives you time to acclimate to eachother's daily quirks - things you may not notice on a "sleepover basis." It's a real test to see if you can stand living together. I have two important rules that I have always sworn to follow regarding relationships - 1) Don't get married unless you've been dating for at least 2 years (gotta get outta that honeymoon stage!) and 2) Live together for at least 6 months before getting married (you never know what kind of things he/she may do that you just can't live with i.e. does his ex-gf's mail still come to his address, how much time does he spend on the computer on a daily basis, does he hide the dirty mags when you come over, does he only clean when you're coming over - all things that can change the situation in a hurry!

Wishing you all the best,
Jenna

bethanyshawn · March 2010

I guess it completely depends on the person. I have been with my boyfriend for almost two years, and we slowly started living with each other. Everytime he was over, he would bring more and more stuff over and before you know it hes living with me. We had absolutely no problems and still dont today. Doing great!

[Deleted User] · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_move-before-after-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:2e62463f-4b37-48de-9f20-a947e4ecb682Post:3984932e-53f0-404e-8035-6a0efe97d5ed">Move in before or after the wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]My lease is up right around the wedding - does have anyone have any thoughts about whether it's better to move in together about a month before the wedding or should we wait until all the festivities are over?
Posted by katecrobertson[/QUOTE]

I'm about 96% sure that if you choose the first option, you will go to hell.

gayleandmike · March 2010

My fiance and I lived together even before we got engaged. I feel as though you need to live with someone to see if you are compatable in that situation as well. I learned so much from us living together that really showed us we should spend the rest of our lives together.

lcandela · March 2010

I would agree that moving in a month before the wedding is not good, you dont need that stress before the wedding. I think that 6 months or once your engaged is a good time to move in. Moving in together is one of the hardest steps I believe and if you can get through it, then the rest should run smoothly.

dreamin_under_the_starz · March 2010

I moved from maryland to north carolina when my fiance go back from iraq and we had our own appartment and we got engagged a year after i moved down. So we have been living together. I think its good to see how they live and their pros and cons about how they live(messy,clean..ect)
i`d say move it before you get married maybe you can come to a compromise to who does what as far as cleaning and stuff

irisira · March 2010

Regarding breakups when you cohabitate - it's NOT fun. At ALL. Fortunately my ex owned a house so there was no lease issue, and also fortunately my mom was close ENOUGH to where I lived/worked (1hr), that I could stay with her for a few weeks until I got my living situation straightened out. I was lucky in this regard.

Lbrace · March 2010

This topic always draws lots of controversy! I have learned to think of things like this not in black and white but in shades of gray. The fact is that life is crazy and confusing and you need to make informed decisions that you think are right for you- maybe you will regret it, maybe you won't. If we all had crystal balls, we'd all make the best decisions all the time, right?

I think what alot of people have said on here is right on- decide what is best for you. Don't get pressured to be on a "side" or try to make a statement by your actions. Believe me, besides possibly your parents or your grandparents, NO ONE CARES!!!! Everyone is too busy thinking of their own problems to think about what you are or are not doing. Don't do things (or not do things) for appearance.

I haven't "officially" lived with my FI, but during college it was a "your apartment or mine" kind of thing every night. Annoying! Now we are in different cities, so we only stay together on the weekends, and it sucks! However, we will be living together starting about a month before the wedding. Mostly because he is 28 and still living with his parents and could be living with his gorgeous FI instead;) But it will still be him living on my place, not us moving into our own spot. That will happen when my lease is up, and after our June 5th wedding! I am excited to really officially move in to our own place, but more than that I just really want to be with him everyday!

natelle83 · March 2010

Most every one of my friends has handled that situation by first having the bride move in to wherever the couple will live together after the wedding with the groom moving in after it's all official. The groom has been able to either stay where he is until moving (i.e. a month-to-month lease) or has just found other means until moving in together. That is how my fiance and I are able to handle it and it had not added much more undo stress to wedding planning at all. No matter when, you'll have to move someone somewhere and I think it's important to wait until after the wedding if you're just worried about logistics.

Move in before or after the wedding?

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