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Wedding Etiquette Forum
"Whatever East. You're just mad I RSVP'd "lame" to your pre-wedding sleepover."
Knot absolutes broken, world still turns.
So I'm in a wedding next month. I got an email from the bride the other day about hair, makeup, limos, all that. The cost of the makeup is $20, she is covering the hair. OH MY GOD, SHE EXPECTS US TO PAY FOR OUR MAKEUP?!? WHAT A TURD. No, seriously, it's 20 bucks. I don't care to pay twenty bucks to have my makeup look awesome. I'm glad she's bringing in a makeup artist, because I can't do fancy looks. She didn't make us buy shoes or ugly jewelry so I consider it an even trade out.
I know according to knot law I should be emailing her right this second to let her know she is desperately in the wrong and if she wants it done SHE WILL PAY FOR IT DAMMIT, but I don't really care. Its 20 bucks.
So on that note, what are some Knot unbreakable rules that you have seen broken and it wasnt an earth shattering event after all?
I know according to knot law I should be emailing her right this second to let her know she is desperately in the wrong and if she wants it done SHE WILL PAY FOR IT DAMMIT, but I don't really care. Its 20 bucks.
So on that note, what are some Knot unbreakable rules that you have seen broken and it wasnt an earth shattering event after all?
"Whatever East. You're just mad I RSVP'd "lame" to your pre-wedding sleepover."
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Knot absolutes broken, world still turns.
Whatever you hatters be hattin. -Tay Prince
They made a note of it on the invitations, which I know is another faux pas, but I really appreciated it because I would not have been nearly as happy if I'd showed up not knowing that I'd need to bring some cash for drinks.
Did she present the offer well?
I like getting all gussied up, so it would be fun for me. And I'm always looking for different techniques and ideas for my makeup.
I would only be mad if she stomped her feet and demanded I do it, just because I'm stubborn.
Cash bars are very common here. In fact, even though we had a hosted bar, people were pulling out their wallets and, when they found out they weren't going to pay for their drinks, they kept pushing $$ at the bartender. She did very well that night, even though we did ask her to take down her tip jar.
I've had to stand for short ceremonies. No big deal.
Whatever you hatters be hattin. -Tay Prince
Um....I got more jewelry and shoes as a bridesmaid gift. One less thing to worry about I spose.
Vacation with Alix, Andy, Mandy, and FLORENCE. AND HER MACHINE.
The Margarita Evolution
[QUOTE]My H asked his parents about finances and if/what they were contributing to the wedding. They have a very good and open relationship, so his parents weren't put off at all by it. They apparently had anticipated paying for most of it anyway. So we're the tacky couple who asked for money. *Shrug*
Posted by cengle[/QUOTE]
We did that too, with my mom and grandma. I knew they were going to want to pay for something, so we just sat down with them and said "Okay, do you want to help out and if so, what do you want to help out with." Same thing for his parents. The sky didn't fall.
"Whatever East. You're just mad I RSVP'd "lame" to your pre-wedding sleepover."
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Knot absolutes broken, world still turns. : I think it's a little different when the spouses are friends with other people at the wedding too. I'd feel uncomfortable sitting with complete strangers while my FI was sitting across the room at a head table. If we were at a wedding where I knew most of the guestlist, no problem.
Posted by laurenclaire1386[/QUOTE]
Yep. I was seated away from H the last wedding he was in, and it sucked. I didn't know anyone there. So, I took a whole bottle of wine and got really drunk.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Knot absolutes broken, world still turns. : Yep. I was seated away from H the last wedding he was in, and it sucked. I didn't know anyone there. So, I took a whole bottle of wine and got really drunk.
Posted by kikibaby[/QUOTE]
Getting drunk is the best solution to most problems.
Whatever you hatters be hattin. -Tay Prince
Also, this has nothing to do with etiquette, but the hotel where the wedding was and that had the hotel block was AWFUL. There was sand in our bed BOTH nights we were there and we weren't compensated at all for it.
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BFP 8/01/12, EDD 04/10/12, mm/c @ 6wks, discovered at 8wks, D&C 9/05/12
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Knot absolutes broken, world still turns. : Yep. I was seated away from H the last wedding he was in, and it sucked. I didn't know anyone there. So, I took a whole bottle of wine and got really drunk.
Posted by kikibaby[/QUOTE]
You are my kind of woman!
Planning / Married / TTD /
I was thinking "Oooh the E board would eat you alive!! Too many No-No's..LOL!!
Whatever you hatters be hattin. -Tay Prince
The etiquette rules I've always seen broken, and that I broke myself, were ones that are the norm in my area.
1. We had a head table with just WP. Everyone's dates knew many people at my wedding, and we sat them all with their family or people they were very close with. Nobody was with strangers, and there was no "date table." I've been to many weddings though and i've never not seen a head table. Its just the norm in my area.
2. Stag parties are also the norm in my area, and H had one. The kind where its a huge party that you sell tickets for, and at the stag there's lots of food, beer, raffles, gambling, and then strippers come. I know many people frown on that party, but where I'm from the stag party is the first thing all the guys start talking about, and its definitely what the guys look most forward to.
3. My gifts for BMs and all BM gifts I've ever gotten are always wedding related things. I personally love it. I can buy my own clothes and stores, and I would much rather spend my money on something I want, so I always love when my BM gift is something that saves me money on your wedding.
4. Also a gap between ceremony and reception is the norm in my area, and we had one at our wedding. People change their clothes in between, grab a drink or two, and relax before the reception. My friend got married in August and there was only an hour from when the ceremony ended and the cocktail hour started, and everyone complained that there wasn't enough time. We had to go check into the hotel in the mean time and change, and we totally missed the cocktail hour.
Apparently my hometown is just horrible on wedding etiquette. But its what everyone knows and is used to, so when it doesn't happen people are thrown off and don't really like it.
Oh, the biggest thing is that we only sent invitations to out of town guests. I'm sure that's very strange to the majority of you. The custom in the small town where I'm from is to put an announcement in the paper that says "Invitations have been sent to out-of-town guests only. All family and friends are invited to attend."
[QUOTE]A recent wedding I was in the bride had everyone getting ready in her suite, I got there at 10AM and was there until 5PM and she had no food or drinks. I was starving and so was everyone else including the makeup artists and hair stylists. The hotel was pretty broken down and only had a vending machine for food! Doritos just aren't appetizing that early. By the time the cocktail hour started I inhaled 6 Swedish meatballs, got sick to my stomach and left the reception before the cake came out because I felt nauseous.
Posted by pinkpinot[/QUOTE]
This happened to me at my college roommate's wedding. It was a total country wedding, and we got ready at her parent's house. We were running around to do our own hair and makeup and get ready, and just never had a chance to make any food. And there was nothing readily available for us. By the time we got to the reception I was starving and extremely thirsty. The bar was a keg and some boxed wine, and that happened to be the only thing in the hallway where we were standing waiting to be announced in. The keg wasn't tapped yet, so my only option was to chug a glass of red wine. Yeah i felt sick all night, but couldn't leave because I had no car.
I was also an honorary attendant at a college friend's wedding. Same deal.
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[QUOTE]I asked a friend to keep the guestbook as an "honorary position" or whatever. It's something that's expected where I'm from, though. Oh, the biggest thing is that we only sent invitations to out of town guests. I'm sure that's very strange to the majority of you. The custom in the small town where I'm from is to put an announcement in the paper that says "Invitations have been sent to out-of-town guests only. All family and friends are invited to attend."
Posted by AliGirl11[/QUOTE]
They do this in my home town, and it is considered appropriate. I have no idea how they get numbers for food and stuff...
And I've never been to a wedding with assigned tables.
i got a good laugh because of how un-etiquetty it was, but i don't think less of her. i really don't think she knew any better. plus some members of h's extended family tried to convince me to do a dollar dance. they don't seem to really follow proper etiquette. but the cousin is still awesome.
I've also seen wedding websites for couples we know that tell us what to wear. It depends on the situation how I react to it. One was a a national park in Washington and they said the ceremony was going to be outside "rain or shine" so to dress appropriately. I found that helpful because then I knew to save the high heels for the reception but wear layers for the ceremony.
Others have said something like "we are having a Klassy wedding so dress Klassy!" kind of a deal and I find that really offputting. Seriously? We are adults and we know how to dress ourselves appropriately. Good grief.
[QUOTE]i got an invitation recently from h's cousin, who is totally awesome. the invitation said something along the lines of "due to something something, children are not able to attend". i forget exactly what. then i noticed the registry info.<strong> i got a good laugh because of how un-etiquetty it was, but i don't think less of her. i really don't think she knew any better. plus some members of h's extended family tried to convince me to do a dollar dance. they don't seem to really follow proper etiquette. but the cousin is still awesome.
</strong>Posted by daffodil_jill[/QUOTE]
That's the way I feel about the wedding this weekend. My brother and his family are amazing, generous, wonderful people, but etiquette is just NOT a part of their worldview. It's just not. They've already committed some faux pas, but it's easy to overlook them because 1. It's not something to which they've really been exposed, and 2. Their intentions are pure.
I do notice these things now, but I really understand how people who've never really been expected to know certain things wouldn't even know they don't know, so wouldn't educate themselves on these matters.
That sounds condescending, but I don't mean it that way. They are terrific folks, and honestly their love for family & friends will easily outshine any faux pas they make.