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Unpopular Opinions?

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Re: Unpopular Opinions?

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    edited December 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-11?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f430863b-09d0-40eb-ac0a-aa71ff5037d7Post:f0ee5031-ff6e-4772-8356-a316a16b3802">Re: Unpopular Opinions?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions? : See, then I don't get why you can't like beer, because beer is SO different. Some I don't like, some I love, some I think are just okay. But there's tons and tons of different kinds of beer and it's a lot easier to figure out how they'll taste than to do that with wine.
    Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

    <div>
    </div><div>I suppose I hate the beer I drank in college, now that I drink wine I feel like I can find something to drink in most social situations so I really haven't pushed the beer issue.</div>
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-11?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f430863b-09d0-40eb-ac0a-aa71ff5037d7Post:bcf0c33f-8e02-4eed-93a4-6e6635a822ad">Re: Unpopular Opinions?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions? : Exactly.  If you don't want to change your name, NBD.  But if you honestly think people who do are dumb, please remove me as a FB friend, because I don't care to associate with you.
    Posted by squirrly[/QUOTE]

    I honesty did not remember that she implied women who change their name are dumb. I just remember her saying she thought it was a bad choice. And then something about disdaining those who do it, which is why I wrote that I thought she worded things poorly. Clearly, I don't think anyone is dumb.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-11?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f430863b-09d0-40eb-ac0a-aa71ff5037d7Post:8b56ff0c-0054-4aa2-a316-41c01628278d">Re: Unpopular Opinions?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I also hate when people say things (and I have no idea if this was said yet because my eyes glazed over at the marriage talk) to sound really cool but go against what they said.  For example: Nicole Richie.  For a couple years now I've been hearing her talk about how marriage isn't important to her or Joel and they will have & raise their babies without a piece of paper.  So now she is getting married and in an interview someone asked her why since before she said it wasn't necessary and she couldn't answer, just that "it was time."  If you want to get married, who cares, do it.  But if you think you are so super cool to say that marriage isn't necessary and your trying to come across as Angelina Jolie but you can't because you really do want a wedding & husband...then you look dumb like you were only saying marriage isn't necessary just to say it  because you think it is soooooo uber emo to not care about things like a silly piece of paper but in reality you do care about that piece of paper. 
    Posted by pinkpinot[/QUOTE]
    Yeah I agree. I secretly think they're people who are just in denial that their partner doesn't want to get married yet... so they come up with some excuse about why it's a mutual decision.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-11?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f430863b-09d0-40eb-ac0a-aa71ff5037d7Post:74a29332-166b-4748-9477-c4573676c5ea">Re: Unpopular Opinions?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions? : Actually, yes I think so. Louisiana was the last state to change the drinking age and it was because the federal government yanked funding for our roads. I think the federal government's place isn't to decide what's good for each and every state on every single issue. Things like same sex marriage, drinking ages, and marijuana legalization are things I think states need to decide without the federal governments' intervention. If you don't like the laws in your state, fight to elect new state government or move to a state that has laws more agreeable to you.
    Posted by laurenclaire1386[/QUOTE]

    I agree with this.  Basically these things are not rights, therefore the states can regulate them.  We might regulate them stupidly, but thats a different question.
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    For those wondering about the McD's food not molding, here's the article:

    http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504763_162-20019427-10391704.html
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    I hate engagement ring pictures as avatars. 
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-11?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f430863b-09d0-40eb-ac0a-aa71ff5037d7Post:1042b061-b757-4a6e-be27-b291941143d3">Re: Unpopular Opinions?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I hate engagement ring pictures as avatars. 
    Posted by pinkpinot[/QUOTE]

    And sig pics.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-11?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f430863b-09d0-40eb-ac0a-aa71ff5037d7Post:c043e0e8-3d9a-4cbd-93ee-1055ecdc0058">Re: Unpopular Opinions?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions? : I wasn't refering to character or intelligence. I can't remember her wording exactly. The thing I mean is, for example, if you look at it from a feminist perspective, then yes, it's probably better to not change your name due to the history of the ownership issue, etc. But so many people today think we're post-feminism that it doesn't phase them. However, that's clearly not the case, since 50% of Americans think a woman should be legally required to change her name when she gets married. About 90% do change their name, leaving only 10% who won't, which are skewed to higher-educated, city dwellers. So it's likely that a lot of people who hold that opinion don't know anyone who hasn't changed her name and think it's just crazy radicals and "feminazis" who want to take away jobs and stuff who do that. If more people did keep their name, then more people would encounter perfectly "normal" people who do that. Not to mention, it would become less of a social problem/easier for people to make that decision, since I've heard people say they thought about it, but got a lot of pressure to change their name from their family or spouse. But if one doesn't care about that perspective then hey, whatever.
    Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]
    I guess I get what you're saying, but wouldn't it be a better agenda for feminism to embrace the <em>choice</em> to change your name, rather than putting the emphasis on not doing it? Because the way it sounds is that as a woman, you're faced with pressure from either side: change your name and become your husband's property, or don't change your name and be labelled a militant feminist. Changing or not changing your name doesn't make either of those things true.
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    Whatever you hatters be hattin. -Tay Prince
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-11?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f430863b-09d0-40eb-ac0a-aa71ff5037d7Post:bc9d5d70-8831-447a-bb32-6cb42efdefde">Re: Unpopular Opinions?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions? : I guess I get what you're saying, but wouldn't it be a better agenda for feminism to embrace the<strong> choice</strong> to change your name, rather than putting the emphasis on not doing it? Because the way it sounds is that as a woman, you're faced with pressure from either side: change your name and become your husband's property, or don't change your name and be labelled a militant feminist. Changing or not changing your name doesn't make either of those things true.
    Posted by laurenclaire1386[/QUOTE]

    LOVE
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-11?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f430863b-09d0-40eb-ac0a-aa71ff5037d7Post:88c5a10a-d9af-45cb-88ff-dd4efd226e61">Re: Unpopular Opinions?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions? : And sig pics.
    Posted by waltzingmatilda13[/QUOTE]

    <div>agreed. </div>
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    As far as the government is concerned, marriage is just a legally binding contract between consenting adults which grants each specific rights.  Religious reasons should be kept from this debate as 1.  There is a reason we have separation of church and state and 2.  Not everyone follows the same religion as people making these arguments, which makes those arguements moot anyways.

    "One of the unalienable rights of all Americans is the Right to enter into any contract whatsoever. This natural Right is of inestimable value to free people. Without it, many of our rights (i.e. to acquire, own and possess property, to engage in business as we see fit) have little or no meaning."  (LINK)  (I appoligize this isn't a super credible source, but the first I came across with little time to research)

    If marriage is a contract, and entering into a contract is a right, then marriage is a right.  To deny Americans that right based solely on the gender of parties entering that contract is unconstitutional.
    Anniversary
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-11?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f430863b-09d0-40eb-ac0a-aa71ff5037d7Post:74a29332-166b-4748-9477-c4573676c5ea">Re: Unpopular Opinions?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions? : Actually, yes I think so. Louisiana was the last state to change the drinking age and it was because the federal government yanked funding for our roads. I think the federal government's place isn't to decide what's good for each and every state on every single issue. Things like same sex marriage, drinking ages, and marijuana legalization are things I think states need to decide without the federal governments' intervention. If you don't like the laws in your state, fight to elect new state government or move to a state that has laws more agreeable to you.
    Posted by laurenclaire1386[/QUOTE]

    I agree with eeverything except same sex marriage.  Because it would absolutely horrible if you could only live in a handful of states and be married, but the minute you moved you weren't.  What if your partner got a dream job in Texas, but you guys couldn't move because if you did then you wouldn't be married anymore?  Or if he or she needed serious, long term specialized medical help at Mayo Clinic in MN, but you no longer had a right to decide any medical things for them once there because you're not longer married?  I think there are some things that need to be decided on a federal level and same sex marriage is one of them. 
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    You can find the thread with tenofcups here: <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_addressing-invitations-5" rel="nofollow">http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_addressing-invitations-5</a>
    <em>
    In Response to Re: addressing invitations :  But I don't think you respect women who choose to take their H's last name.  Posted by dnbeach12</em>

    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_addressing-invitations-5?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5f27630a-3bca-4c22-af9c-7fcfd5fcfd5cPost:020bfa38-bec7-4542-9ca7-0ec32a187357">Re: addressing invitations</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: addressing invitations : You're right. I don't. I respect that they have the right to make whatever choice they want, but I don't respect that actual choice.
    Posted by tenofcups4me[/QUOTE]
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-11?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f430863b-09d0-40eb-ac0a-aa71ff5037d7Post:c5d712a6-b007-487c-884f-17f1aad9e8ba">Re: Unpopular Opinions?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions? : Yep, I saw it at two different houses last year.  They both had these interactive things on their lawn, and signs inviting you to get out of your car and come walk around/see things.  <strong>One of them had live animals in their nativity which doubled as a petting zoo. </strong> Dude, if you want to do this sort of thing, Bob bless you.  But unless you're getting a seasonal business license designating your lawn to be an amusement park for which you can charge admission, the bill is yours.  Nobody is forcing you to do these things.  If you can't afford it, don't do it.  There's a third that we went to, and they had someone dressed as Santa sitting on their porch, and a donation box for toys and a donation tin for cash, both indicating they would go to Toys for Tots.  Totally fine with this. 
    Posted by The Mel and Todd Show[/QUOTE]

    That's just awful. Almost like fish as centerpieces.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-11?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f430863b-09d0-40eb-ac0a-aa71ff5037d7Post:4e98f907-4b44-4d1a-851b-273cea8d443e">Re: Unpopular Opinions?</a>:
    [QUOTE]As far as the government is concerned, marriage is just a legally binding contract between consenting adults which grants each specific rights.  Religious reasons should be kept from this debate as 1.  There is a reason we have separation of church and state and 2.  Not everyone follows the same religion as people making these arguments, which makes those arguements moot anyways. "One of the unalienable rights of all Americans is the Right to enter into any contract whatsoever. This natural Right is of inestimable value to free people. Without it, many of our rights (i.e. to acquire, own and possess property, to engage in business as we see fit) have little or no meaning. "  ( LINK )  (I appoligize this isn't a super credible source, but the first I came across with little time to research) If marriage is a contract, and entering into a contract is a right, then marriage is a right.  To deny Americans that right based solely on the gender of parties entering that contract is unconstitutional.
    Posted by jemmini6[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>Echoing my thoughts perfectly.  Katy - you still didn't answer this.  If marriage is just a legal contract, then there are only certain parties that are forbidden from entering contracts, such as minors.  

    </div>
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    Contracting between two people is a right.  The government is not required to be a part of that contract.  To get the tax breaks, in state tuition or whatever benefit the government gives you makes the government a party to that contract.  The government gets to chose if it wants to be a party to the contract.  As soon as there are more than 2 people involved in the contract all those parties must agree. 
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-11?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f430863b-09d0-40eb-ac0a-aa71ff5037d7Post:3a411796-ea24-43ff-a92f-3d3208aacba9">Re: Unpopular Opinions?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions? : FI and I watched that yesterday. What is with that? I think he is one of the most conceited people around.  How many names does one man need? Puff Daddy, to Puffy, to P. Diddy, to Diddy, and now a band Diddy DIrty Money? He is wayyy past his prime, and needs to stay in the producing end. His rapping wasn't even great.  The chicks scared me.
    Posted by SarahR11[/QUOTE]

    FI said he looked like he was trying to be Kanye with the way he dressed and the way he was dancing. If this new band of his is one of those "Making the Band" type groups, then he just needs to stop.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-11?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f430863b-09d0-40eb-ac0a-aa71ff5037d7Post:82efb357-202c-49fb-85cd-a9aed1bf186c">Re: Unpopular Opinions?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions? : I agree with eeverything except same sex marriage.  Because it would absolutely horrible if you could only live in a handful of states and be married, but the minute you moved you weren't.  What if your partner got a dream job in Texas, but you guys couldn't move because if you did then you wouldn't be married anymore?  Or if he or she needed serious, long term specialized medical help at Mayo Clinic in MN, but you no longer had a right to decide any medical things for them once there because you're not longer married?  I think there are some things that need to be decided on a federal level and same sex marriage is one of them. 
    Posted by NuggetBrain[/QUOTE]
    That's an absolutely fair point and you're right. I wasn't factoring in that sometimes you don't choose to move, you HAVE to move and one's marriage should be valid no matter where he lives.
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    Whatever you hatters be hattin. -Tay Prince
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    Katy - I feel like all you're doing is stating facts, not opinion.  Other than "I am for gay marriage"
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-11?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f430863b-09d0-40eb-ac0a-aa71ff5037d7Post:16aa1b21-04de-4505-94a0-c0f6aef10bc4">Re: Unpopular Opinions?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions? : No I don't think its a legal right for anyone.  It should matter why they are excluded, and we should change laws accordingly.  But if it is a right then we couldn't legally make those laws (at least in theory).  I believe we should change the laws because they are ridiculous, but the people had a right to make the ridiculous laws in the first place. 
    Posted by KatyRoseM[/QUOTE]

    I know I'm probably way too late, but the Supreme Court has deemed marriage a fundamental right.  The Constitutional Law final I'm going to take in 7 hours says so.  Well, the class told me so, not the final.  I still don't exactly get what you're arguing, but heterosexual marriage IS a right, and any law that interferes with that is likely to get struck down. 
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    edited December 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-11?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f430863b-09d0-40eb-ac0a-aa71ff5037d7Post:bc9d5d70-8831-447a-bb32-6cb42efdefde">Re: Unpopular Opinions?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions? : I guess I get what you're saying, but wouldn't it be a better agenda for feminism to embrace the choice to change your name, rather than putting the emphasis on not doing it? Because the way it sounds is that as a woman, you're faced with pressure from either side: change your name and become your husband's property, or don't change your name and be labelled a militant feminist. Changing or not changing your name doesn't make either of those things true.
    Posted by laurenclaire1386[/QUOTE]

    Yeah, and I'm not a spokesperson for the feminist community or anything, but I don't think they want to deny women that choice, just like being a SAHM is a choice and that's fine. It's just that one's decisions don't exist in a vacuum, so sometimes you have to think about the implications of your own choice. The personal is political and vice versa and whatever. But if certain feminist issues are important to you and you consider them and then make your choice and it ends up being "traditional" then more power to you, no one's going to revoke your Empowered Woman card for that. But I think that, still, a lot of people don't even think about their different options. And I'm betting that 95% of men don't think about it, either.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-11?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f430863b-09d0-40eb-ac0a-aa71ff5037d7Post:684f1c4d-f626-42af-9a8e-5567e71f6291">Re: Unpopular Opinions?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Contracting between two people is a right.  The government is not required to be a part of that contract.  To get the tax breaks, in state tuition or whatever benefit the government gives you makes the government a party to that contract.  The government gets to chose if it wants to be a party to the contract.  As soon as there are more than 2 people involved in the contract all those parties must agree. 
    Posted by KatyRoseM[/QUOTE]

    The government can sure as hell get involved in a private contract. For example, I can't make a contract with you to sell my kid into slavery.
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    Gay couples can enter into a contract for all the things couples do for each other in a marriage.  The government is refusing to enter into the contract as well.  When you get a marriage license the government is also a part of that contract, promising you particular benefits.  The government's participation is the difference, and the government is not forced to join contracts it doesn't want to. 

    Yes the Supreme Court has said there is a fundamental right to marriage.  My opinion is that they are wrong.  (Also they tied this right to procreation, which complicates things when looking at how far that right extends). 
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-11?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f430863b-09d0-40eb-ac0a-aa71ff5037d7Post:19eb57a1-4554-4f39-b3b1-cd2ea93f93db">Re: Unpopular Opinions?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Gay couples can enter into a contract for all the things couples do for each other in a marriage.  The government is refusing to enter into the contract as well.  When you get a marriage license the government is also a part of that contract, promising you particular benefits. <strong> The government's participation is the difference, and the government is not forced to join contracts it doesn't want to. </strong> Yes the Supreme Court has said there is a fundamental right to marriage.  My opinion is that they are wrong.  (Also they tied this right to procreation, which complicates things when looking at how far that right extends). 
    Posted by KatyRoseM[/QUOTE]

    Right, the issue is whether the government can say, "we'll allow these people to enter into a contract with us, but discriminate against these people." Cause you know, it's the government, and they should really be more equitable.
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    Anyway, I actually have to go.  Thanks for all the interesting points, you've given me some things to think about.
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    Holy crap UO got pretty intense today.  I think I'm glad I wasn't hear for it.  Not going to lie, I only read page 1 then skipped to 6 so I may have missed some stuff.

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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-11?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f430863b-09d0-40eb-ac0a-aa71ff5037d7Post:684f1c4d-f626-42af-9a8e-5567e71f6291">Re: Unpopular Opinions?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Contracting between two people is a right.  The government is not required to be a part of that contract.  To get the tax breaks, in state tuition or whatever benefit the government gives you makes the government a party to that contract.  The government gets to chose if it wants to be a party to the contract.  As soon as there are more than 2 people involved in the contract all those parties must agree. 
    Posted by KatyRoseM[/QUOTE]


    You are right, the government doesn't have to be involved in making most contracts, but in the case of marriage, they are.  Why can the government agree to an identical contract between a man and a woman, but not between a man and a man?  This is discrimination.
    Anniversary
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    In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions?:
    [QUOTE]Gay couples can enter into a contract for all the things couples do for each other in a marriage.  The government is refusing to enter into the contract as well.  When you get a marriage license the government is also a part of that contract, promising you particular benefits.  The government's participation is the difference, and the government is not forced to join contracts it doesn't want to.  Yes the Supreme Court has said there is a fundamental right to marriage.  My opinion is that they are wrong.  (Also they tied this right to procreation, which complicates things when looking at how far that right extends). 
    Posted by KatyRoseM[/QUOTE]

    And this goes back to my point earlier.  If it costs them thousands of dollars to create the same legal situation which marriage (a contract) would give them, then how is the government not discriminating against them?  

    I get what you're saying.  I don't know about the rights issue because rights are such a very gray area of the Constitution.  But on a legal, contractual level, it is most definitely unconstitutional to not allow homosexual couples.  

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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-11?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f430863b-09d0-40eb-ac0a-aa71ff5037d7Post:afad7045-6956-471b-8fda-ea42cd1e1cd7">Re: Unpopular Opinions?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Holy crap UO got pretty intense today.  I think I'm glad I wasn't hear for it.  Not going to lie, I only read page 1 then skipped to 6 so I may have missed some stuff.
    Posted by dnbeach12[/QUOTE]

    I wish I had time to read this.  :-(. 
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-11?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f430863b-09d0-40eb-ac0a-aa71ff5037d7Post:afad7045-6956-471b-8fda-ea42cd1e1cd7">Re: Unpopular Opinions?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Holy crap UO got pretty intense today.  I think I'm glad I wasn't hear for it.  Not going to lie, I only read page 1 then skipped to 6 so I may have missed some stuff.
    Posted by dnbeach12[/QUOTE]

    No not realy. It was about 3-4 pages of Katy writing stuff that didn't make sense. I still don't really know what she was trying to say.
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