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Wedding Etiquette Forum
princesskitra
member
Mention "dry" reception on invitation?
We plan to have a "dry" reception (no alcohol). We've still got clear til next fall (we're planning for October 2011), and already We've had people try to debate this with us, even though it's not open for discussion; we've made our decision and are perfectly happy with a sober celebration because that's what we want.
Should the fact that our reception is to be a non-alcoholic affair be mentioned on our invitations? The reason I'm asking this is because it seems people expect to get tipsy (or all-out drunk) at a wedding reception. But we don't believe in this; others can do that if they wish but it's just not what we want on our special day, you know? And it leaves me wondering if stating it's a "dry" or sober event on the invitation is correct, so that we'll have people happy to celebrate in a sober manner with us, rather than friends who like to drink being disappointed at our reception.
(And please note that I'm not knocking those who like to drink! It's a really frightening and touchy subject for us both, so neither of us drinks very often or very much. We'd rather have a reception we're o.k. with, than please others with something that, for us, is such a difficult and frightening thing.)
Should the fact that our reception is to be a non-alcoholic affair be mentioned on our invitations? The reason I'm asking this is because it seems people expect to get tipsy (or all-out drunk) at a wedding reception. But we don't believe in this; others can do that if they wish but it's just not what we want on our special day, you know? And it leaves me wondering if stating it's a "dry" or sober event on the invitation is correct, so that we'll have people happy to celebrate in a sober manner with us, rather than friends who like to drink being disappointed at our reception.
(And please note that I'm not knocking those who like to drink! It's a really frightening and touchy subject for us both, so neither of us drinks very often or very much. We'd rather have a reception we're o.k. with, than please others with something that, for us, is such a difficult and frightening thing.)
~ Kitra
(Who got proposed to by Trinton, on 8/9/10, at the office, amongst a crowd of co-workers applauding!)
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Mention "dry" reception on invitation?
It seems weird to put it on an invitation. Be prepared for some people to not stay very long after dinner if you're not providing alcohol. I'm not really a drinker either, but I understand that most people like to have some if they're going to hang out and dance and whatnot.
ttc chart
BFP 8/01/12, EDD 04/10/12, mm/c @ 6wks, discovered at 8wks, D&C 9/05/12
Word of mouth is probably the best way to spread the word if you think it's necessary.
"You can take your etiquette and shove it!" ~misscarolb
And I agree with PP, I think guests who are drinkers will leave a bit earlier than usual.
You guys both have very interesting names.
Also - if you don't want people to be upset with you about your choice to have a dry reception, for God's sake don't talk about it. If people mention something about drinking at your reception just ignore it, and for the love of Christ don't just pipe up with "No one's getting drunk at our wedding because we're not having booze" in every day conversation. None of that needs to be broadcast.
[QUOTE]No I think that will only piss your guests off more.
Posted by andy71781[/QUOTE]
<div>Hahahaha. This.</div><div>
</div><div>By the way, you do realize that a reception is really more for the guests than the bride and groom, right? And out of curiousity, what time of day will this shindig be going down?</div>
[QUOTE]People will bring in booze. Don't mention it.
Posted by Night_Sprite[/QUOTE]
That was my thought. Or they might just show up drunk because they know there won't be any.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Mention "dry" reception on invitation? : Hahahaha. This. By the way, you do realize that a reception is really more for the guests than the bride and groom, right? And out of curiousity, what time of day will this shindig be going down?
Posted by salt78[/QUOTE]
no, salt, its a party on their special day. read the op.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Mention "dry" reception on invitation? : Hahahaha. This. By the way, you do realize that a reception is really more for the guests than the bride and groom, right? And out of curiousity, what time of day will this shindig be going down?
Posted by salt78[/QUOTE]
This is always my thought when I read this, too. You know what I don't like? Tofu. You know why I'm serving it at my reception? Because I have numerous vegan guests who will need to be fed, and it would be rude for me to project my tastes onto them. I plan to host my guests graciously and generously, and to do so I am providing everything that they might want or need to have an enjoyable evening. When people get all "I don't drink, why should I provide alcohol to my guests?" I really feel like they're beyond the point of being reasoned with.
Bloggy Mel.
[QUOTE] When people get all "I don't drink, why should I provide alcohol to my guests?" I really feel like they're beyond the point of being reasoned with.
Posted by The Mel and Todd Show[/QUOTE]
And this is why I didn't even touch on the fact that she's having a dry reception at all in my post. I know she won't listen, she obviously has already had people tell her it's not a great idea and she doesn't care.
Oh and don't forget that alcohol is a frightening thing.
ttc chart
BFP 8/01/12, EDD 04/10/12, mm/c @ 6wks, discovered at 8wks, D&C 9/05/12
[QUOTE]But...tofu is scary, Mel.
Posted by salt78[/QUOTE]
True story. Also, it's difficult.
Bloggy Mel.
[QUOTE]We plan to have a "dry" reception (no alcohol). We've still got clear til next fall (we're planning for October 2011), and already We've had people try to debate this with us, even though it's not open for discussion; we've made our decision and are perfectly happy with a sober celebration because that's what we want. Should the fact that our reception is to be a non-alcoholic affair be mentioned on our invitations? The reason I'm asking this is because it seems people expect to get tipsy (or all-out drunk) at a wedding reception. But we don't believe in this; others can do that if they wish but it's just not what we want on our special day, you know? And it leaves me wondering if stating it's a "dry" or sober event on the invitation is correct, so that we'll have people happy to celebrate in a sober manner with us, rather than friends who like to drink being disappointed at our reception. (And please note that I'm not knocking those who like to drink! It's a really frightening and touchy subject for us both, so neither of us drinks very often or very much. We'd rather have a reception we're o.k. with, than please others with something that, for us, is such a difficult and frightening thing.)
Posted by princesskitra[/QUOTE]
What exactly is so frightening and difficult about drinking for you guys? Were you attacked by the Bud Light delivery guy or something?
[QUOTE]What exactly is so frightening and difficult about drinking for you guys? Were you attacked by the Bud Light delivery guy or something?
Posted by NuggetBrain[/QUOTE]
*snort* DED
Bloggy Mel.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Mention "dry" reception on invitation? : This is always my thought when I read this, too. You know what I don't like? Tofu. You know why I'm serving it at my reception? Because I have numerous vegan guests who will need to be fed, and it would be rude for me to project my tastes onto them. I plan to host my guests graciously and generously, and to do so I am providing everything that they might want or need to have an enjoyable evening. When people get all "I don't drink, why should I provide alcohol to my guests?" I really feel like they're beyond the point of being reasoned with.
Posted by The Mel and Todd Show[/QUOTE]
Well, I'm of two schools of thought. If someone isn't serving it because they just don't like it, that's kind of selfish. If they're serving it because they are <em>against </em>it, that's different. Like a vegan wedding, or a kosher wedding, or a dry wedding for Mormons or Southern Baptists.
I went to a wedding in August that was dry for religious reasons. Many of the guests didn't drink either, so no one had a problem with it, most people stayed the whole night (me included, and I'm a huge lush, but it was an OOT wedding for a friend who's currently living overseas), and lots of people danced because the B&G are theater people and were dancing the whole night. BUT I think that because most people didn't drink and a lot of them were of the same faith as the B&G, including the groom's whole family, it also wasn't expected.
40/112
Eh, I don't think it's that rude to have a dry reception. I, as a guest, would not like it, but I'm sure OP has her reasons for not wanting alcohol there. It's not the same to me as providing vegetarian food for guests who don't eat meat- it's not like people who want alcohol CAN'T drink water/soda/tea, whatever.
[QUOTE]I disagree with some of th PP. I am having a dry wedding, I don't like the stuff, and honestly don't want to pay for it. As long as you have various other kinds of drinks, soda, tea, lemonade, water, coffee, ect then if someone really wants to whine about the lack of booze then that is their issue. I might look into maybe some other kind of "bar" like coffee, smoothies, hot chocolate, something of that nature to make the drinks more interesting.
Posted by Ready2BMrsWade[/QUOTE]
<div>Please see my above post. </div>
ttc chart
BFP 8/01/12, EDD 04/10/12, mm/c @ 6wks, discovered at 8wks, D&C 9/05/12
[QUOTE]Eh, I don't think it's that rude to have a dry reception. I, as a guest, would not like it, but I'm sure OP has her reasons for not wanting alcohol there. It's not the same to me as providing vegetarian food for guests who don't eat meat- it's not like people who want alcohol CAN'T drink water/soda/tea, whatever.
Posted by kikibaby[/QUOTE]
I agree and I don't think the OP or anyone who chooses a dry reception owes an explanation to anyone. You choose what you want to provide at your reception. As long as your guests are hosted nicely, that's all that matters. If she's providing cake and punch, great. If she's providing a meal and non-alcoholic drinks, great.
But with that said, I sitll wouldn't put it on the invitation.
Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
[QUOTE]I think having a dry reception might go over better with your guests if it's maybe a lunch reception. For dinner time receptions, people expect at least a glass of wine with dinner and a champagne toast. If you really don't want ANY alcohol at the reception, just be prepared for people to leave early. Other than that, don't mention it on the invite.
Posted by jemmini6[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Yes, I agree with you on the lunch point. However, based on her other post, I feel like it's a formal sit down wedding, as she's having a fantasy / renaissance theme.
</div>
If you're going to have these shenanigans, you should give people a drink for putting up with it. I don't like themed weddings.