FFF

saisongbird · May 2010

She's already been flamed, but I'm jumping on the flame the crap out of Gelderman bandwagon. She needs to go away.

andyandhillary · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-34?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:47795220-dfbd-4d45-9266-8394d797d322Post:b662589c-7c19-4687-9d29-e79a18c42ec1">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : So then you're NOT completely against divorce.
Posted by danieliza1127[/QUOTE]

Fine. Correction: There are very few reasons IMO for divorce. Way to nitpick (sp?)

crfische · May 2010

Oh dear, Roman Catholic church. What a diick move.

pumpkinpumpkin · May 2010

I flame Gina for starting FFF with a flame for something that happened on SB. A lot of girls (esp heels, Cew, betrothed, Meg) have said they want to keep SB separate from E. So why not start FFF over there?

shellydiane820 · May 2010

I never learned the 3 As. Its new to me.

Here's what I learned (and just so we're clear, I'm not saying I agree with these, its what I was told)

During our meetings with out priest, when we talked about divorce and annulment. He made it clear that you can't divorce. You can legally divorce, but in God's eyes you'll be married. An annulment is possible, but lengthy. It also is judged based on the circumstances. If there is adultry, you work it out, you don't divorce. If there is an addiction, you work it out. If there is abuse, and counselling doesn't work, you can legally separate and divorce, but if you get remarried, its a sin and you're committing adultry. Your vows say "until death do us part" so basically, untils someone dies, you're married in God's eyes....so clearly, there's only one thing you can do. Hire a hitman.

That's what I was told anyway.

KentuckyKate · May 2010

I actually got a pamphlet at Pre-Cana about how to make yourself fall back in love with your spouse. Apparently, it's a conscious choice.

sarahmk5 · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-34?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:47795220-dfbd-4d45-9266-8394d797d322Post:6ff918c2-d9c7-4ce2-b5fa-23fc9e74bb3c">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]I actually got a pamphlet at Pre-Cana about how to make yourself fall back in love with your spouse. Apparently, it's a conscious choice.
Posted by KentuckyKate[/QUOTE]

<div>I wish I got that pamphlet. I was just told to fight naked, because then we won't fight for long.</div>

baystateapple · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-34?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:47795220-dfbd-4d45-9266-8394d797d322Post:6ff918c2-d9c7-4ce2-b5fa-23fc9e74bb3c">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]I actually got a pamphlet at Pre-Cana about how to make yourself fall back in love with your spouse. Apparently, it's a conscious choice.
Posted by KentuckyKate[/QUOTE]

Wow. I didn't get that at our pre-cana. We just got a whole bunch of lectures on not having sex before marriage.

lizstill13 · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-34?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:47795220-dfbd-4d45-9266-8394d797d322Post:d99b8d0f-dc24-4533-83a4-c7d8cbdea358">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]I never learned the 3 As. Its new to me. Here's what I learned (and just so we're clear, I'm not saying I agree with these, its what I was told) During our meetings with out priest, when we talked about divorce and annulment. He made it clear that you can't divorce. You can legally divorce, but in God's eyes you'll be married. An annulment is possible, but lengthy. It also is judged based on the circumstances. If there is adultry, you work it out, you don't divorce. If there is an addiction, you work it out. If there is abuse, and counselling doesn't work, you can legally separate and divorce, but if you get remarried, its a sin and you're committing adultry. Your vows say "until death do us part" so basically, untils someone dies, you're married in God's eyes....<strong>so clearly, there's only one thing you can do. Hire a hitman</strong>. That's what I was told anyway.
Posted by shellydiane820[/QUOTE]

::snort:: Clearly the solution to many problems.

wadingmoose · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-34?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:47795220-dfbd-4d45-9266-8394d797d322Post:1789634c-04f4-429a-a22e-65193985d327">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]I flame Gina for starting FFF with a flame for something that happened on SB. A lot of girls (esp heels, Cew, betrothed, Meg) have said they want to keep SB separate from E. So why not start FFF over there?
Posted by pumpkinpumpkin[/QUOTE]

Morning P2. It's like you were channeling me this morning, before I even got to the thread :)

jasmineh7777 · May 2010

Well, if the Church won't grant you an annulment then they believe that there is not grounds for divorce. So, if you just legally divorce, you are still married in the eyes of the church. If you get an annulment, the marriage never existed.

I think (and I may be wrong) that a person has more luck getting an annulment if the other partner is not willing to change. If the partner continues to cheat, abuse drugs, or be abusive, then the other partner is not expected to just put up with it.

georgia_bride09 · May 2010

[QUOTE]I flame Gina for starting FFF with a flame for something that happened on SB. A lot of girls (esp heels, Cew, betrothed, Meg) have said they want to keep SB separate from E. So why not start FFF over there?
Posted by pumpkinpumpkin[/QUOTE]

Ditto, and the link went to some three week old thread. Color me confused.

I'll also throw my match into the Mr. Whit flame.

alixzafiris · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-34?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:47795220-dfbd-4d45-9266-8394d797d322Post:fa013e14-3393-4869-a011-d6abc2f20819">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]Ditto, and the link went to some three week old thread. Color me confused. I'll also throw my match into the Mr. Whit flame.
Posted by georgia_bride09[/QUOTE]

Eye to eye.

And I'll up your match and bring my flamethrower.

crfische · May 2010

Dude. Your priest told you to hire a hitman? If so, it may balance out the poor sister margaret story.

KentuckyKate · May 2010

I think I may have turned FFF into the 700 Club. Sorry.

wadingmoose · May 2010

Whit's husband is acting like a 5 year old who had his favorite toy taken away from him. Huge flames for that. Grow up and man up already.

shellydiane820 · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-34?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:47795220-dfbd-4d45-9266-8394d797d322Post:da9ecc95-ab16-496f-9dd5-2cc63726915e">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]Dude. Your priest told you to hire a hitman? If so, it may balance out the poor sister margaret dtory.
Posted by crfische[/QUOTE]
haha no sorry, that was just me adding my 2 cents!

pumpkinpumpkin · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-34?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:47795220-dfbd-4d45-9266-8394d797d322Post:fa013e14-3393-4869-a011-d6abc2f20819">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]Ditto, and the link went to some three week old thread. Color me confused. I'll also throw my match into the Mr. Whit flame.
Posted by georgia_bride09[/QUOTE]

Huh. I didn't click the link, because I don't particularly care.
It just didn't make sense to me, they've been vocal about keeping E drama off SB...so linking it just doesn't make sense.

[Deleted User] · May 2010

i flame lpstl for wasting no time taking up residence in self-righteous know-it-all parent land.

andyandhillary · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-34?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:47795220-dfbd-4d45-9266-8394d797d322Post:d99b8d0f-dc24-4533-83a4-c7d8cbdea358">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]I never learned the 3 As. Its new to me. Here's what I learned (and just so we're clear, I'm not saying I agree with these, its what I was told) During our meetings with out priest, when we talked about divorce and annulment. He made it clear that you can't divorce. You can legally divorce, but in God's eyes you'll be married. An annulment is possible, but lengthy. It also is judged based on the circumstances. If there is adultry, you work it out, you don't divorce. If there is an addiction, you work it out. If there is abuse, and counselling doesn't work, you can legally separate and divorce, but if you get remarried, its a sin and you're committing adultry. Your vows say "until death do us part" so basically, untils someone dies, you're married in God's eyes....so clearly, there's only one thing you can do. Hire a hitman. That's what I was told anyway.
Posted by shellydiane820[/QUOTE]

This is a perfect example of howI think it differs from diocese to diocese apparently. I have a few relatives whose husbands were HORRIBLE people and they were able to divorce as strict, devout Catholics. All three of them were cheated on and/or abandoned by their spouse and 2 of them remarried. One remarried a deacon.

crfische · May 2010

I have this poor friend of mine who is engaged to a wonderful girl. they are both Catholic and want to get married in the Catholic church, understandably so.

However, he was married previously in the Catholic church and while he was away fighting for our country overseas, the biitch cheated on him with his best friend, moved out, left him, and didn't tell him until he came back from the middle east to find that his wife was outtie 5,000.

He's been trying to get an annulment for over 4 years so he can marry his fiancee. FOUR YEARS.

shellydiane820 · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-34?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:47795220-dfbd-4d45-9266-8394d797d322Post:604c04ea-b14b-4cc6-ba10-46fa80684f8a">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : This is a perfect example of howI think it differs from diocese to diocese apparently. I have a few relatives whose husbands were HORRIBLE people and they were able to divorce as strict, devout Catholics. All three of them were cheated on and/or abandoned by their spouse and 2 of them remarried. One remarried a deacon.
Posted by andyandhillary[/QUOTE]
<em> </em>Its so confusing. I remember learning if you get divorced you can't receive communion anymore, and I see plenty of divorcees taking communion. Also, we just had our Diocesans Appeal, and they are having special masses for widow/widowers and divorcees.

I personally think, with the crisis the church is in, they need to learn to be a little more accepting of others and get rid of that "holier than thou" (no pun intended) mindset.

danieliza1127 · May 2010

That's crazy Fische. My step-sister's priest wasn't going to let her own Dad give her away at the wedding because he's divorced. I think they had several meetings over that one and the other priest finally said it was okay. What BS.

shellydiane820 · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-34?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:47795220-dfbd-4d45-9266-8394d797d322Post:85ee7eb9-9e63-4e6a-906d-fc2466953a3c">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]I have this poor friend of mine who is engaged to a wonderful girl. they are both Catholic and want to get married in the Catholic church, understandably so. However, he was married previously in the Catholic church and while he was away fighting for our country overseas, the biitch cheated on him with his best friend, moved out, left him, and didn't tell him until he came back from the middle east to find that his wife was outtie 5,000. He's been trying to get an annulment for over 4 years so he can marry his fiancee. FOUR YEARS.
Posted by crfische[/QUOTE]

That's crazy. Divorce is one of those things, I have a hard time with my church about. I mean, I sort of understand where they are coming from, people divorce way too easily, but sometimes, it really is the only option and I hate that they make good people feel like garbage for getting a divorce.

mandybear7 · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-34?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:47795220-dfbd-4d45-9266-8394d797d322Post:35cc285e-3977-4d85-8ce5-aca3fefafe81">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]Well, if the Church won't grant you an annulment then they believe that there is not grounds for divorce. So, if you just legally divorce, you are still married in the eyes of the church. If you get an annulment, the marriage never existed. I think (and I may be wrong) that<strong> a person has more luck getting an annulment if the other partner is not willing to change. If the partner continues to cheat, abuse drugs, or be abusive, then the other partner is not expected to just put up with it.</strong>
Posted by jasmineh7777[/QUOTE]

This is true. Dan's aunt had an annulment. Her husband turned out to be a cokehead. They did try for awhile to work things out, but he just kept using and then cheated on her.

I am Catholic as well and although I am quite liberal with social issues and have many gripes with some of the decisions made by the church at large, many people misunderstand the Church's view on divorce. Unlike other Christian religions, marriage is a sacrament in the Catholic Church, therefore, it should be difficult to dissolve.

Stackeye210 · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-34?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:47795220-dfbd-4d45-9266-8394d797d322Post:85ee7eb9-9e63-4e6a-906d-fc2466953a3c">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]I have this poor friend of mine who is engaged to a wonderful girl. they are both Catholic and want to get married in the Catholic church, understandably so. However, he was married previously in the Catholic church and while he was away fighting for our country overseas, the biitch cheated on him with his best friend, moved out, left him, and didn't tell him until he came back from the middle east to find that his wife was outtie 5,000. He's been trying to get an annulment for over 4 years so he can marry his fiancee. FOUR YEARS.
Posted by crfische[/QUOTE]

Wow. That's crazy b/c my sisters exh cheated on her, they got a divorce and he asked for the annulment through the catholic church and they gave it to him so he could remarry there (the process took about 3 weeks). It's just so inconsistent.

sarahmk5 · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-34?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:47795220-dfbd-4d45-9266-8394d797d322Post:5bc37dfc-a768-4598-877d-4a8804434e0e">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]That's crazy Fische. My step-sister's priest wasn't going to let her own Dad give her away at the wedding because he's divorced. I think they had several meetings over that one and the other priest finally said it was okay. What BS.
Posted by danieliza1127[/QUOTE]

<div>That's ridiculous and is definitely an instance of crazy priest. Most are not that rigid and are much more understanding.</div>

shellydiane820 · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-34?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:47795220-dfbd-4d45-9266-8394d797d322Post:5bc37dfc-a768-4598-877d-4a8804434e0e">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]That's crazy Fische. My step-sister's priest wasn't going to let her own Dad give her away at the wedding because he's divorced. I think they had several meetings over that one and the other priest finally said it was okay. What BS.
Posted by danieliza1127[/QUOTE]

I wanted my aunt to do a reading at our wedding, and she's not Catholic. It was very important to me because she doesn't have kids, and my sister and I are like her kids. I threw a fit when someone in the church said no because she's not Catholic. Good grief, she didn't worship Satan or anything. In the end, I got my way. There were no rules about Methodists not being able to be at the alter. It was just them being difficult.

andyandhillary · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-34?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:47795220-dfbd-4d45-9266-8394d797d322Post:1a889d00-2d8e-4e19-a92e-63955c341df1">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : Its so confusing. I remember learning if you get divorced you can't receive communion anymore, and I see plenty of divorcees taking communion. Also, we just had our Diocesans Appeal, and they are having special masses for widow/widowers and divorcees. I personally think, with the crisis the church is in, they need to learn to be a little more accepting of others and get rid of that "holier than thou" (no pun intended) mindset.
Posted by shellydiane820[/QUOTE]

I am very grateful that my parishes have always been a titch more liberal. I mean, technically you aren't supposed to receive communion if you have a mortal sin on you but I'm pretty sure 99% of people at mass do it anyway. I'm a pretty liberal Catholic and I think a lot of things need to change because I fail to see how they are wrong i.e., easier anullments (for legit reasons of course), female priests, etc.

BecW2be · May 2010

I wonder how accepting these churches would be if you responded to the divorce argument with "I'm sorry you feel this way. I think I should find a church that agrees that my mental, physical and financial well-being are more important than what some men thought how God feels about marriage a few millenium ago. Please note my tithe and accompanying services I've volunteered here will be following me to my new place of worship."

I'm sorry, but Whit's fucker already broke his promise. Hers is a response to his. And if it's up to me to "learn to love again" while I'm being abused, I'll try and work on that while I'm smothering the asshole with a pillow as he sleeps.

FFF

Re: FFF

Choose Another Board

Search Boards