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*Minor Update* Vent - Uninvited to the Wedding

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Re: *Minor Update* Vent - Uninvited to the Wedding

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    KatWAGKatWAG member
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    edited February 2014
    Chipmunk415 said:

    Evil Chipmunk chiming in again....now knowing this is a HOLIDAY WEEKEND wedding, with 8 couples staying at one place to deal with costs....

    I suggest you not only have the photo like suggested above, if possible, have a cookout at the place you all are staying. Plan a ton of fun activities. Take tons of photos of you guys having a blast.

    And explode/blow the shit out of his and her facebook/twitter/social media feeds with posts of these photos of how you're having a great time, despite not attending the wedding. Blog the bejeezus out of how much better it is than attending a wedding for a couple that is so insecure in their relationship, they each have a temper tantrum if someone tries to remove the stitching that's obviously connecting them at hip, ass, chest, and arm for a brief period.

    Disclaimer- Evil Chipmunk is a merciless, snarky bitch. Chipmunk is also dealing with someone plotting something, but that's allegedly to occur the day of the wedding, and the friend planning might be doing something as innocuous as having breakfast there at the venue for the bride, or something terrifyingly embarassing. The difference is, it's the day of the wedding, and the friend won't tell Chipmunk what it is.

    Evil Chipmunk is being stuffed back in her cage with wine, bourbon, and ice cream for the moment. An AE might become necessary in the 16 days she has left.

    I would also suggest creating a clever  hashtag because it didnt happen if it isnt on facebook, right?
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    sarahuflsarahufl member
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    There absolutely HAS to be more to this story. I can't imagine being uninvited. Esp a whole group of people?
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    PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
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    sarahufl said:
    There absolutely HAS to be more to this story. I can't imagine being uninvited. Esp a whole group of people?
    Bitches be crazy and her FI just went along with her Tay-cray?

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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    JeeGooDowsterJeeGooDowster member
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    I bet the bride made him do it
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    Sugargirl1019Sugargirl1019 member
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    Please come back after the wedding and update us on how everything went!!

    image   image   image

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    cowgirl8238cowgirl8238 member
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    PrettyGirlLost said:
    KatWAG said:
    Chipmunk415 said:

    Evil Chipmunk chiming in again....now knowing this is a HOLIDAY WEEKEND wedding, with 8 couples staying at one place to deal with costs....

    I suggest you not only have the photo like suggested above, if possible, have a cookout at the place you all are staying. Plan a ton of fun activities. Take tons of photos of you guys having a blast.

    And explode/blow the shit out of his and her facebook/twitter/social media feeds with posts of these photos of how you're having a great time, despite not attending the wedding. Blog the bejeezus out of how much better it is than attending a wedding for a couple that is so insecure in their relationship, they each have a temper tantrum if someone tries to remove the stitching that's obviously connecting them at hip, ass, chest, and arm for a brief period.

    Disclaimer- Evil Chipmunk is a merciless, snarky bitch. Chipmunk is also dealing with someone plotting something, but that's allegedly to occur the day of the wedding, and the friend planning might be doing something as innocuous as having breakfast there at the venue for the bride, or something terrifyingly embarassing. The difference is, it's the day of the wedding, and the friend won't tell Chipmunk what it is.

    Evil Chipmunk is being stuffed back in her cage with wine, bourbon, and ice cream for the moment. An AE might become necessary in the 16 days she has left.

    I would also suggest creating a clever  hashtag because it didnt happen if it isnt on facebook, right?
    #GoFuckYourself
    #WeddingsAreLameAnyways
    #SorryNotSorry
    #NotMissingYourCashBar
    #YOLO

    I would take it a step further.  All the Girls party at one place and the guys party at another, and both groups social media the fuck out of their simultaneous solidarity AND independence

    #NoMoreBallAndChain

    Can I just say I love that last hashtag...so fitting for the B&G that ruined mutliple peoples holiday wedding all over a B-Party that was never fully planned...
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    happywigglehappywiggle member
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    Holy Crap! That's all I can say to that...
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    AprilH81AprilH81 member
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    mellyD2014 said:
    Man! I love the hashtag idea! Unfortunately, in the last few hours we've all been defriended on FB (we were only blocked before) and now the MoH has also blocked me... which sort of sucks because we recently had become fledgling work out buddies, but fortunately I don't know her very well, so, not too much skin off my back.

    Since they're getting married on a beach, we evilly thought we could wander around, and perhaps have a raging beach party next to their ceremony (which is on a public part of the beach). THEN we thought we could invite one of the other friends in the group (she's a she), who used to be best friends with G, but who was slowly cut out of his life since he started dating B, and was subsequently not invited to the wedidng from the beginning. Being vindictive is kind of fun, really. I'm sure we'll plan hilarious spiteful ideas as a group, but once we get down there, I'd much rather relax on the beach with a well earned beer :)
    Assuming you aren't leaving out any important details they have fucking lost their minds.  Un-invite AND un-friend you guys over an offered bachelor party?!?
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    mellyD2014mellyD2014 member
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    @aprilh81 I had mentioned a few posts back that I think the party idea was just the trigger, I don't think we were all unfriended over it - I'm convinced there are more hurt feelings underneath on the guys' and G's side; guys upset over their friend dumping them for his soon to be wife, G upset because he perceives his friends to be "disrespecting their relationship"... again, I hadn't seen that in the times we've all hung out, but to be fair he was dating his B before I met them, so maybe it's something that started earlier? Who the heck knows.
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    jdluvr06jdluvr06 member
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    If B is the one insisting on cutting G's friends out their lives then she is eventually going to be in a world of hurt because that is the kind of thing people eventually resent and G will eventually hold it against her, and he has every right.
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    KaurisKauris member
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    cowgirl8238 said:
    PrettyGirlLost said:
    KatWAG said:
    Chipmunk415 said:

    Evil Chipmunk chiming in again....now knowing this is a HOLIDAY WEEKEND wedding, with 8 couples staying at one place to deal with costs....

    I suggest you not only have the photo like suggested above, if possible, have a cookout at the place you all are staying. Plan a ton of fun activities. Take tons of photos of you guys having a blast.

    And explode/blow the shit out of his and her facebook/twitter/social media feeds with posts of these photos of how you're having a great time, despite not attending the wedding. Blog the bejeezus out of how much better it is than attending a wedding for a couple that is so insecure in their relationship, they each have a temper tantrum if someone tries to remove the stitching that's obviously connecting them at hip, ass, chest, and arm for a brief period.

    Disclaimer- Evil Chipmunk is a merciless, snarky bitch. Chipmunk is also dealing with someone plotting something, but that's allegedly to occur the day of the wedding, and the friend planning might be doing something as innocuous as having breakfast there at the venue for the bride, or something terrifyingly embarassing. The difference is, it's the day of the wedding, and the friend won't tell Chipmunk what it is.

    Evil Chipmunk is being stuffed back in her cage with wine, bourbon, and ice cream for the moment. An AE might become necessary in the 16 days she has left.

    I would also suggest creating a clever  hashtag because it didnt happen if it isnt on facebook, right?
    #GoFuckYourself
    #WeddingsAreLameAnyways
    #SorryNotSorry
    #NotMissingYourCashBar
    #YOLO

    I would take it a step further.  All the Girls party at one place and the guys party at another, and both groups social media the fuck out of their simultaneous solidarity AND independence

    #NoMoreBallAndChain

    Can I just say I love that last hashtag...so fitting for the B&G that ruined mutliple peoples holiday wedding all over a B-Party that was never fully planned...
    Did they actually just make the holiday weekend BETTER, because now it can be enjoyed with whatever they want to do.... And NOT go to a holiday wedding.
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    MayDay513MayDay513 member
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    I like the idea of still going out during the holiday weekend and having fun. Might as well. BBQ it up. Some super soakers and waterballoons wouldn't be a bad idea either.

    G's not going to have any friends. Who is actually going to this bachelor/ette party if all his friends have been cut? WOW WOW WOW.
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    NavyBlue143NavyBlue143 member
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    PrettyGirlLost said:



    NavyBlue143 said:

    I guess I'm just far too lenient with H, because not only did he go out of town for his bachelor party, but his insanely beautiful female friend was in the group that went! Is my marriage still valid?

    I hate to break it to you, but no.


    Damn. Oh well, now I get another wedding! This time, I won't bother with pesky ettiquette. Cash grabs everywhere!

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    jenniferursjenniferurs member
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    edited February 2014
    I'm sorry, but common sense doesn't allow me to believe you've been given the full story. I find it far more likely that your FI was trying to shield you from some unpleasant truths than I do that this is all over a steak dinner. It's far more likely, IMO, that FI and company were trying to steer him away from the idea of a joint bachelor/bachelorette and gave him a hard time about it repeatedly, ultimately choosing to plan something behind his back that may or may not have been uncouth. I don't find it surprising that your FI would downplay the extent to which they forced the issue or the extent to which plans were made or what exactly those plans entailed. I've seen it multiple times firsthand. Heck, one of my FI's groomsman was planning my FI's bachelor party and while he was telling his soon-to-be fiancée that it was nothing but dinners and bars, he was simultaneously emailing my fiancé about getting a hotel room big enough to accommodate the private strippers he was planning on ordering to the room.

    The point being...many times guys will try to avoid an uncomfortable conversation with their significant other by downplaying that which has or is set to occur. And common sense, at least to me, dictates that it's far more likely that that's what occurred here, rather than your friends deciding to uninvite a group of people over a simple question about a steak dinner.
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    mellyD2014mellyD2014 member
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    jenniferurs It's certainly possible that they were pushing him, but the timing doesn't really add up enough for me - we found out at dinner on a Saturday night that they were having the joint party; then Monday in the afternoon was when the sh!t hit the fan. The guys had had a conference call Sunday to try to plan something guys-only - so I don't think it was really marinating long enough for there to be too much pressure. Meh. *shrug*
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    happymellowhappymellow member
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    edited February 2014
    Chipmunk415 said:
    Evil Chipmunk suggests the uninvited guests go out for dinner and drinks, have someone take a photo of the guests out having a good time, and send that  photo to the couple as the collective "wedding gift" with a note, "Wish you could join us"
    I do love this idea.  Or they could post it to their FB.  Maybe tag the B&G and say thinking of you on your "special day" (or whatever.  I know people hate that phrase).

    Edit:  Oh!  Just read the rest of the comments.  Very good.  Very good.  Proceed with the parties on the beach.
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    KittyKaty20KittyKaty20 member
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    mellyD2014 said:
    jenniferurs It's certainly possible that they were pushing him, but the timing doesn't really add up enough for me - we found out at dinner on a Saturday night that they were having the joint party; then Monday in the afternoon was when the sh!t hit the fan. The guys had had a conference call Sunday to try to plan something guys-only - so I don't think it was really marinating long enough for there to be too much pressure. Meh. *shrug*

    OP-

    I'm pretty sure the MAIN reason so many people have been uninvited is this:

    THEY WENT OVER THEIR BUDGET/ROOM CAP/OVER-INVITED. It sounds like they had to make cuts, and this "wild" guys-only gathering was the way to do it...cutting people because you made a mistake is shameful, but if the people you cut were immoral remnants of Sodom and Gomorrah, you can avoid the side-eye.

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    jenniferursjenniferurs member
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    mellyD2014 said:

    jenniferurs It's certainly possible that they were pushing him, but the timing doesn't really add up enough for me - we found out at dinner on a Saturday night that they were having the joint party; then Monday in the afternoon was when the sh!t hit the fan. The guys had had a conference call Sunday to try to plan something guys-only - so I don't think it was really marinating long enough for there to be too much pressure. Meh. *shrug*

    Right, but I'm sure conversations had been had prior to the formal announcement. My FI had tons of talks with his groomsmen preliminarily, before anything was ever formally decided. And still, we really don't know exactly what they were planning, so it's hard to pass judgment either way.

    Either way though, it was probably an overreaction regardless. When I saw FI's groomsman's email about the strippers in the hotel room, I was upset and asked him to please speak to his groomsman about activities that he and I had deemed not to be appropriate, but I never considered uninviting the groomsman to the wedding.
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    Chipmunk415Chipmunk415 member
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    kmmssg said:
    Chipmunk415 said:

    Evil Chipmunk chiming in again....now knowing this is a HOLIDAY WEEKEND wedding, with 8 couples staying at one place to deal with costs....

    I suggest you not only have the photo like suggested above, if possible, have a cookout at the place you all are staying. Plan a ton of fun activities. Take tons of photos of you guys having a blast.

    And explode/blow the shit out of his and her facebook/twitter/social media feeds with posts of these photos of how you're having a great time, despite not attending the wedding. Blog the bejeezus out of how much better it is than attending a wedding for a couple that is so insecure in their relationship, they each have a temper tantrum if someone tries to remove the stitching that's obviously connecting them at hip, ass, chest, and arm for a brief period.

    Disclaimer- Evil Chipmunk is a merciless, snarky bitch. Chipmunk is also dealing with someone plotting something, but that's allegedly to occur the day of the wedding, and the friend planning might be doing something as innocuous as having breakfast there at the venue for the bride, or something terrifyingly embarassing. The difference is, it's the day of the wedding, and the friend won't tell Chipmunk what it is.

    Evil Chipmunk is being stuffed back in her cage with wine, bourbon, and ice cream for the moment. An AE might become necessary in the 16 days she has left.

    I have been wondering but now I am just about convinced.  I have a massive collection of extra daughters - did you escape the clan?  Evil Chipmunk could be a chip off the ol' kmmssg block. Pun intended there.  I keep evil me as quiet as I can here but she slips out every once in awhile.  Are you one of my extra DDs?


    Maybe in spirit....I was a C-section baby, and there are photos of it. I also look exactly like my Dad, and save for the nose, exactly like my paternal grandmother (as in, scary similar).

     

    If you want to adopt me though, thats fine!

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    StephJean83StephJean83 member
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    NavyBlue143 said:

    I guess I'm just far too lenient with H, because not only did he go out of town for his bachelor party, but his insanely beautiful female friend was in the group that went! Is my marriage still valid?

    My sister FINISHED my BIL's bach party. The guys went bar hopping and by 10pm my BIL was pass out drunk. So they got him back to his house and took my sister out til bar time. I guess that probably invalidates their marriage huh? Guess after MY wedding, we can plan hers because otherwise she will steal my thunder and make my wedding less magical.
    You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back. - Barbara DeAngelis
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    cowgirl8238cowgirl8238 member
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    LondonLisa said:
    I feel so bad for the groom, but especially your fi and his friend group. How incredibly hurtful. It is so sad when one member of a couple forces the other to essentially cut out all of their friends. It is a form of emotional abuse, and it can be really isolating. 

    I'm just playing devil's advocate here as I had a friend who was emotionally abused by his wife. I know a lot of guys don't like to have conflict, but I think a phone call to the groom (away from the bride)  from one of the guys saying something along the lines of "We are all really hurt to be disinvited over a misunderstanding. What is really going on? It seems disproportionate. Frankly, I know I am not alone in taking this as a 'I don't ever want to see you again' move. If that is the case, then ok, I wish you the best, but it seems a shame to throw away our friendship".

    I really bet the groom is stuck between a rock and a hard place and doesn't want to stand up to the bride. And honestly, I bet he doesn't understand how extreme this actually is.

    I just feel like someone should make a final (but very calm) "are you sure you don't want to be friends anymore" call to him- I mean, if the situation was reversed (groom isolating the bride) that is major red flags and he may need his friends more than ever. If this call ends with "yes, go away!" then all you guys can do is hopefully be there for him when it hits the fan (and it will!).

    Hug your fi extra for us all- poor guy!

    As someone else who has seen people change so drastically once they meet someone new, I kind of agree with this thought.  Perhaps it would be better to wait until after the wedding.  Maybe not.  But I would have one of closer friends just call to say hi and see whats up.  If he still wants nothing to do with them then thats fine, just go your seperate ways and enjoy having a little less crazy in your lives.
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    banana468banana468 member
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    mellyD2014 said:

    FI and I were just uninvited to the wedding of one of his long-time friends. Absolute friendship ending move. I'm sad that FI is losing a friend but absolutely outraged about the whole situation. Essentially, FI and a bunch of the other guys wanted to host something for the groom; groom & bride found out they were planning something and absolutely flipped their lids. I am unsure about giving too many details away, but has anyone ever had this happen? How did you support your FI through it?

    I'm beyond angry about it - we had already sent in our RSVP and put a deposit down on a rental (it's essentially a DW - 2 hours away and there was no block set up for guests).

    GRRR! Mostly I'm venting, but wanted to see if any one had some advice on how to support FI through this. I want to share my own opinion on these "friends" but don't want to make it harder for him. Thoughts?

    ***
    Update: As this cluster continues to spiral out of control, the 8 of us have received official un-invitation calls. Additionally, G is demanding that we stay away from the beach town that weekend. While he has benevolently (sarcasm) offered to pay us the deposit back, I think we're going to have way more fun enjoying a vacation :)

    I'd tell the groom in exactly what orifice her can stick those demands. I would be careful to make sure that there is NO way they have access to where you're staying.
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    kmmssgkmmssg mod
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    Oh yes, please ensure that whoever made the deposit/signed the lease for the beach house makes sure that NO changes or cancellations are made!

     

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