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Re: FFF

  • Peaseblossom55Peaseblossom55 mod
    First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper

    My venue has a coat check but it will be June I don't think anyone will need it.  I think our cocktail hour will have a few seats but mostly a lot of high tables for drinks and and plates for people to eat.

    I think I'll be too busy enjoying my day to even notice what anyone is really wearing the day of wedding.  Wear your own bridal gown for all I care.....

    Anniversary

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  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    blueeyes90 said:
    lyndausvi said:
    PrettyGirlLost said:
    You guys have covered many that I agree are NBFD- using labels, tuxes in the day time, flip flop baskets.

    Here's my controversial, unpopular opinion- If we are going to tell Brides that they cannot dictate their guests' attire and that they shouldn't give a fuck what their guests wear. . . well Ladies, that includes guests wearing white.  Time to let that supposed sartorial rule go and stop judging women who wear white to weddings.  It's just a color.
    I completely agree.    It really bothers me women get so worked up over a guest wearing white yet no one even cares that men are wearing the same color as the groom.  IDK, it's just such a bizarre thing to get worked up over.
    I agree with this. But I think I would still side-eye it if someone showed up in a wedding dress, like a full out wedding gown. 
    Well, ok.  That would be a bit much, lol!

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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  • hyechica81hyechica81 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment First Answer
    we have the larger of the two rooms and its just one big room with a bar inside so during cocktail hour everyone goes to there seats that they would sit at for dinner and eat or they can stand and mingle with the other guests
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  • afox007afox007 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    I'm quite happy that this thread has turned more into a cocktail seating discussion and less about special snowflakes thinking etiquette is overrated. 
    image
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  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Liatris2010 said:
    This is the saddest, most boring FFF I've ever seen. I flame these "flames".
    You know we aren't allowed to have an actual FFF.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    lyndausvi said:
    PDKH said:
    I don't give a damn about gaps unless they are more than a couple hours long. I'll change, fool around with FI, hit up a local bar for a drink, and waltz into the reception.

    I understand why they are a bad hosting practice, I just never understand the people who are like "OMG WHAT WILL I DO WITH MYSELF?!?!"
    For me, it's I HATE waiting around for something to start.  It's complete buzz kill for me.    When I attend an event, any event, I don't want or need a few hour break in the middle.    It's a strange concept to me.

    Unfortunately an upcoming wedding we are going to is having a gap.   Worse part is the WP will be out and about taking pictures.  DH is in the WP.  I will be left to fend for myself for a few hours.  I'm not from the area and only have been there a few times.  Pretty much everyone I know at the wedding is in the WP.    To say I'm less than thrilled is an understatement.  
    This is how I feel.  Gaps kill the momentum of the event, and I actually find them to be energy draining.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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  • rajahmdrajahmd member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment First Answer
    PrettyGirlLost said:
    Liatris2010 said:
    This is the saddest, most boring FFF I've ever seen. I flame these "flames".
    You know we aren't allowed to have an actual FFF.
    Party pooper. 
    Anniversary
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  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    PrettyGirlLost said:
    lyndausvi said:
    PDKH said:
    I don't give a damn about gaps unless they are more than a couple hours long. I'll change, fool around with FI, hit up a local bar for a drink, and waltz into the reception.

    I understand why they are a bad hosting practice, I just never understand the people who are like "OMG WHAT WILL I DO WITH MYSELF?!?!"
    For me, it's I HATE waiting around for something to start.  It's complete buzz kill for me.    When I attend an event, any event, I don't want or need a few hour break in the middle.    It's a strange concept to me.

    Unfortunately an upcoming wedding we are going to is having a gap.   Worse part is the WP will be out and about taking pictures.  DH is in the WP.  I will be left to fend for myself for a few hours.  I'm not from the area and only have been there a few times.  Pretty much everyone I know at the wedding is in the WP.    To say I'm less than thrilled is an understatement.  
    This is how I feel.  Gaps kill the momentum of the event, and I actually find them to be energy draining.
    One of the 2 gaps weddings I went to required us to setup the reception during the gap.  In our BM dresses.   Oh and they did not tell us until we got there we were setting up the reception.   When I say setup I mean actually moving tables and chairs, setting the tables, etc,    Now that was energy draining.

    The other gap wedding I had 2 weddings that day.  I skipped the ceremony of the gap wedding to attend the reception of the first wedding.  Gap worked out in my favor that time.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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  • mellyD2014mellyD2014 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    @PDKH I agree with you on the gaps - they don't bug me too much as long as they're not too long. Every family wedding I've been to there's been a gap, but someone always goes out, gets a few cases of beer and a few bottles of wine, and we all get loosened up for the reception in one of the hotel rooms. I have to admit I've come to look forward to these mini-parties as part of the wedding day schedule.
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  • manateehuggermanateehugger member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited April 2014
    chibiyui said:
    I think its perfectly acceptable to be upset that a friend or family member books their weekend the same weekend, or even the weekend before or after yours. It doesn't give you liscense to pout or complain to them, but putting a vent on an anonymous website shouldn't make you a selfish brat.
    Agreed. Even though, I think the people who freak out because the weddings are in the same season are ridiculous.

    An old sorority sister planned her wedding on the same date as us, even though the six other girls in our sorority (yup SIX), including me, getting married from May to July managed to coordinate to ensure we didn't have overlap. We will probably have about 20ish guests that will have to make a decision.

    Yeah, I was more than a little irked when I found out. She asked one of my bridesmaids if she was coming to hers, even though she knew we had the same date. Argh.

    Edited because grammar is hard.
    image
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  • MrsMack10612MrsMack10612 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer First Comment
    daria24 said:
    I don't think you need 100% seating for cocktail hour, but I often wish there was a few more chairs, and more high top tables. The last wedding I was at, there were 200+ people there, and only 16 seats. There were more elderly guests than seats, and my poor MIL, who can barely stand for 15 minutes, spent TWO HOURS in misery while we waited for them to finish flipping the ceremony room for the reception.

    Some of the things (not necessarily E-related) that I see a lot of negativity towards on these board, that I don't agree with:

    -The anti-flip flop basket hate. Every wedding I've been to with flip flops-they are a huge hit.
    -The pearl clutching over cake alternatives-I love cake, but I wouldn't complain if the wedding had pie, cookies, etc instead. Especially since 90% of the wedding cake I've had has been practically inedible
    -the hate toward 'unity' ceremonies-if a sand ceremony, unity candle, etc are meaningful to the couple-who cares? Sure, don't include something to 'pad out' the ceremony-but if the ritual means something to you, then it's valid. I personally don't find it meaningful to watch a bride walk 7 times around her partner at a Jewish ceremony, or believe in the liturgy of the Eucharist, but I would never criticize a couple for including it in their wedding ceremony. 
    -Labels on invites. I can't work up outrage over this. 

    And for the more controversial thing-I think we need to throw out the whole "telling the WP what to wear" thing. I cannot think of a logical, valid reason why the people standing next to you have to be wearing a certain color dress or suit.  
    To the bolded, I think these are different.  They are actual parts of the religious ceremony, not something used to "pad out" the ceremony.  Unity ceremonies (candles, sand, wine, etc.) are not religious rituals.


     

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  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    RajahBMFD said:
    PrettyGirlLost said:
    Liatris2010 said:
    This is the saddest, most boring FFF I've ever seen. I flame these "flames".
    You know we aren't allowed to have an actual FFF.
    Party pooper. 
    I don't make the rules!

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    grumbledore said:
    PrettyGirlLost said:
    You guys have covered many that I agree are NBFD- using labels, tuxes in the day time, flip flop baskets.

    Here's my controversial, unpopular opinion- If we are going to tell Brides that they cannot dictate their guests' attire and that they shouldn't give a fuck what their guests wear. . . well Ladies, that includes guests wearing white.  Time to let that supposed sartorial rule go and stop judging women who wear white to weddings.  It's just a color.
    Eh, Idk about this.  I judge people (silently, in my head) for being underdressed or inappropriately dressed at any number of occasions.  That doesn't mean I would ever say something, or tell anyone what to wear, but I do care what people wear.

    And I hate it when people say "you won't notice if people are wearing jeans/a tube top/a neon orange construction vest" -- um, yes, I will, I notice everything people wear.
    I think it's time to stop viewing wearing whit as inappropriate.

    I people watch all of the time so I notice what they are wearing too. . . but did you honestly notice what people were wearing on your wedding day?  This is just meant as a sincere, curious question- I'm not being snarky with you at all.

    I think I am going to be too busy/nervous/excited/overjoyed/having too much fun to people watch that day.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    PDKH said:
    chibiyui said:
    I think its perfectly acceptable to be upset that a friend or family member books their weekend the same weekend, or even the weekend before or after yours. It doesn't give you liscense to pout or complain to them, but putting a vent on an anonymous website shouldn't make you a selfish brat.
    Agreed. Even though, I think the people who freak out because the weddings are in the same season are ridiculous.

    An old sorority sister planned her wedding on the same date as us, even though the six other girls in our sorority (yup SIX), including me, getting married from May to July managed to coordinate to ensure we didn't have overlap. We will probably have about 20ish guests that will have to make a decision.

    Yeah, I was more than a little irked when I found out. She asked one of my bridesmaids if she was coming to hers, even though she knew we had the same date. Argh.

    Edited because grammar is hard.
    Did your BM tell her, Hell NO!

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    ClimbingBrideNY said:
    My FI is wearing a tuxedo AT 12PM! 
    BIL wore one at 10:30am.     Sis and BIL have been married almost 18 years now.   






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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  • manateehuggermanateehugger member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited April 2014
    DP
    image
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  • rajahmdrajahmd member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment First Answer
    edited April 2014
    PrettyGirlLost said:
    grumbledore said:
    PrettyGirlLost said:
    You guys have covered many that I agree are NBFD- using labels, tuxes in the day time, flip flop baskets.

    Here's my controversial, unpopular opinion- If we are going to tell Brides that they cannot dictate their guests' attire and that they shouldn't give a fuck what their guests wear. . . well Ladies, that includes guests wearing white.  Time to let that supposed sartorial rule go and stop judging women who wear white to weddings.  It's just a color.
    Eh, Idk about this.  I judge people (silently, in my head) for being underdressed or inappropriately dressed at any number of occasions.  That doesn't mean I would ever say something, or tell anyone what to wear, but I do care what people wear.

    And I hate it when people say "you won't notice if people are wearing jeans/a tube top/a neon orange construction vest" -- um, yes, I will, I notice everything people wear.
    I think it's time to stop viewing wearing whit as inappropriate.

    I people watch all of the time so I notice what they are wearing too. . . but did you honestly notice what people were wearing on your wedding day?  This is just meant as a sincere, curious question- I'm not being snarky with you at all.

    I think I am going to be too busy/nervous/excited/overjoyed/having too much fun to people watch that day.
    My post starts here, in case the quote box fucks up again.

    I noticed that my mom's husband was wearing jeans. Of course I had to take pictures with him, so it stuck out. But yes, some outfits did stick out (think "one of these is not like the others").

    I do agree though that white =/= inappropriate, especially as colored wedding dresses return to style. Just because you wouldn't notice what others are wearing doesn't mean it's wrong that someone else would.
    Anniversary
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  • MuppetOverlordMuppetOverlord member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    mellyD2014 said:
    So here's another one for you all. I TOTALLY understand why the vast majority of the ladies on the E board think they're rude, but I just am not on board with condemning honeyfunds. I know, shoot me now! I absolutely see that people can view it as a money grab, that a percentage of the funds go to whatever site is hosting, that you're not actually getting them that dinner on the beach, or whatever it is. I just personally don't see it as a big deal (though, to reiterate, I understand 100% those who find them inappropriate). I also think that it will become more common and less frowned upon now that it's normal for people to be in relationships for years and decades prior to marriage.

    *waits in corner for the backlash*
    I think it's ok to not be personally offended by something. Cash bars only offend me if I am charged for soft drinks.  They are still rude though, so I avoid them.
    imageimageimage

    You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.
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  • manateehuggermanateehugger member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    MuppetOverlord said:
    mellyD2014 said:
    So here's another one for you all. I TOTALLY understand why the vast majority of the ladies on the E board think they're rude, but I just am not on board with condemning honeyfunds. I know, shoot me now! I absolutely see that people can view it as a money grab, that a percentage of the funds go to whatever site is hosting, that you're not actually getting them that dinner on the beach, or whatever it is. I just personally don't see it as a big deal (though, to reiterate, I understand 100% those who find them inappropriate). I also think that it will become more common and less frowned upon now that it's normal for people to be in relationships for years and decades prior to marriage.

    *waits in corner for the backlash*
    I think it's ok to not be personally offended by something. Cash bars only offend me if I am charged for soft drinks.  They are still rude though, so I avoid them.
    I had never heard of this kind of cash bar until you posted it once. I can't believe people don't even offer free soft drinks; that's INSANE.
    image
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  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    shrekspeare said:
    lyndausvi said:
    PrettyGirlLost said:
    You guys have covered many that I agree are NBFD- using labels, tuxes in the day time, flip flop baskets.

    Here's my controversial, unpopular opinion- If we are going to tell Brides that they cannot dictate their guests' attire and that they shouldn't give a fuck what their guests wear. . . well Ladies, that includes guests wearing white.  Time to let that supposed sartorial rule go and stop judging women who wear white to weddings.  It's just a color.
    I completely agree.    It really bothers me women get so worked up over a guest wearing white yet no one even cares that men are wearing the same color as the groom.  IDK, it's just such a bizarre thing to get worked up over.
    I damn near died when I showed up at my cousin's wedding and Fi was wearing the same color of silver shirt that the groomsmen wore. We were told their colors were something and horse shit and gold, not silver. I was absolutely mortified.
    LMFAO- Come again? Hahahahahahaha.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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  • MrsMack10612MrsMack10612 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer First Comment
    RajahBMFD said:
    daria24 said:
    I don't think you need 100% seating for cocktail hour, but I often wish there was a few more chairs, and more high top tables. The last wedding I was at, there were 200+ people there, and only 16 seats. There were more elderly guests than seats, and my poor MIL, who can barely stand for 15 minutes, spent TWO HOURS in misery while we waited for them to finish flipping the ceremony room for the reception.

    Some of the things (not necessarily E-related) that I see a lot of negativity towards on these board, that I don't agree with:

    -The anti-flip flop basket hate. Every wedding I've been to with flip flops-they are a huge hit.
    -The pearl clutching over cake alternatives-I love cake, but I wouldn't complain if the wedding had pie, cookies, etc instead. Especially since 90% of the wedding cake I've had has been practically inedible
    -the hate toward 'unity' ceremonies-if a sand ceremony, unity candle, etc are meaningful to the couple-who cares? Sure, don't include something to 'pad out' the ceremony-but if the ritual means something to you, then it's valid. I personally don't find it meaningful to watch a bride walk 7 times around her partner at a Jewish ceremony, or believe in the liturgy of the Eucharist, but I would never criticize a couple for including it in their wedding ceremony. 
    -Labels on invites. I can't work up outrage over this. 

    And for the more controversial thing-I think we need to throw out the whole "telling the WP what to wear" thing. I cannot think of a logical, valid reason why the people standing next to you have to be wearing a certain color dress or suit.  
    To the bolded, I think these are different.  They are actual parts of the religious ceremony, not something used to "pad out" the ceremony.  Unity ceremonies (candles, sand, wine, etc.) are not religious rituals.

    STUCK IN THE DAMN BOX:
    Rituals don't have to be religious to have meaning. We did a sand ceremony as part of our wedding because we love what it symbolizes and we liked the idea of having a physical token representing us coming together. I think it's a bit narrow-minded to say that the only rituals that are important are religious ones. 
    @RajahBMFD - Sincere apologies, that's not what I was trying to say at all. 

    I was just pointing out that PP had lumped religious ceremonies in with non-religious ceremonies.  That's all I was trying to do.  Or at least that's the way it came across to me.  She mentioned the Liturgy of the Eucharist.  I'm not Catholic, but that is a very important part of a Catholic Mass and cannot be excluded.  A sand or candle ceremony are non-religious optional parts.  That's the only thing I was trying to point out.  No offense was intended at all.

    I have no issue with what anyone wants to add to their wedding ceremony.  If it has meaning for you, go for it. 

     

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