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.......But you're already married......(?)

Nov182015Nov182015 member
5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
in Snarky Brides
So, a girl I went to highschool with is "friends" with me on Facebook.

About 6 months ago, her and her guy got married, because he was going into the service.

Today, she posts a status about "how nervous" she is because tomorrow she is "marrying" her best friend.

I, commented on the status, saying, "there shouldn't be too much to be nervous about, you're already married."

She deleted the comment, and then deleted me as a friend....LOL.

Sorry, I wasn't going to comment, "oh, happy wedding day dear!" like everyone else.

Your "wedding" day has came and went. A white dress doesn't make this your actual wedding date.

I could understand having a reception, but how can you be nervous to marry someone that you married 6 months ago?
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Re: .......But you're already married......(?)

  • HisGirlFriday13HisGirlFriday13 member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    RebeccaFlower said:
    My feelings on my wedding day were just so genuine that I can't imagine having a re-do. 
    This!! I was so nervous and excited and happy that I couldn't imagine re-doing it. I wanted those emotions to be real, not faked. 
    Anniversary

    image
    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
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  • mcgarci2mcgarci2 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    You have made my day.  This post is fan-freakin-tastic!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker}
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  • Nov182015Nov182015 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    It's true!
    You are married. You and your HUSBAND chose to not wait. You got married in a skanky dress and he was in jeans. Sorry that you're butt hurt about it, but you are married.... and it's IDIOTIC to waste money on a ceremony and a minister when you have already said your vows.


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  • Sugargirl1019Sugargirl1019 member
    Combo Breaker First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its
    BAHAHAHA I love you for commenting that!

    If I wasn't on my phone, I would give you the "highest of high fives" gif!

    image   image   image

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  • KaurisKauris member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Definitely in the air/water. Tried to talk friend out of doing PPD this past weekend. Good luck and keep fighting the good fight!
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  • rocklibsta24rocklibsta24 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its
    Today, as I was looking through Facebook, a fellow classmate who got married at a courthouse a couple of months ago posted something along the lines of, "we should totally do this for our wedding" with some link as her status. I instantly thought of this post! How I so wish I had your guts to say something like, "But I thought you were already married?" hahaha!
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  • HaileyDancingbearHaileyDancingbear member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    wrigleyville said:
    pinkcow13 said:
    A girl I went to HS with commented on another mutual friend's page: "I did the city hall thing first, and a few months later we had the real wedding." Because, the City Hall thing is just a pesky paper that apparently means nothing. It's good enough to get you all the benefits, etc, but obviously not good enough to be considered a wedding.
    This makes me so angry. I just can't even...

    I want to scream this at every entitled, selfish PPD-er I see on TK.

    UGH.
    I just get annoyed to no end thinking about how many people go to city hall, get married, call it a day, and are totally happy with that- so these people never had a "real" wedding because there was no poofy dress? 

    By that reasoning it's not the vows or the paperwork or the actual getting legally married thing that makes you married, it's a dress and decorations and all the superficial crap.  So basically the priorities are completely backwards.
    image
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  • theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    A friend posted something similar the other day... linked to that article about how much the average guest spends to attend a wedding, and said something like "sorry to all my guests this summer." And I said "aren't you married already?" and he just said something like "yeah, well this is the party." Ugh. 
    image
    image
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  • kitty8403kitty8403 member
    First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    lolo883 said:

    A friend posted something similar the other day... linked to that article about how much the average guest spends to attend a wedding, and said something like "sorry to all my guests this summer." And I said "aren't you married already?" and he just said something like "yeah, well this is the party." Ugh. 


    If it's just a party, it's fine. Maybe still expensive for out of towners. Are they doing a big theatrical production?
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  • theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    kitty8403 said:

    lolo883 said:

    A friend posted something similar the other day... linked to that article about how much the average guest spends to attend a wedding, and said something like "sorry to all my guests this summer." And I said "aren't you married already?" and he just said something like "yeah, well this is the party." Ugh. 


    If it's just a party, it's fine. Maybe still expensive for out of towners. Are they doing a big theatrical production?
    Yes, big production. They got married cuz she was pregnant, and now they're having a giant do-over PPD. I think he only said party there to not give me any more ammo, or because he's not 100% on board with it either. His wife has his nuts on a keychain.
    image
    image
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  • kaegurl85kaegurl85 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    I love that she not only deleted the comment, but deleted you as a friend? Do people not know they're already married? That's the only reason I can see why she'd be all offended. I don't get it either. I understand the idea of celebrating later, but redoing the whole ceremony is ridiculous. 
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  • shaylagirlshaylagirl member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer First Comment
    lolo883 said:
    A friend posted something similar the other day... linked to that article about how much the average guest spends to attend a wedding, and said something like "sorry to all my guests this summer." And I said "aren't you married already?" and he just said something like "yeah, well this is the party." Ugh. 
    That line makes me want to vomit.  EVERY.SINGLE.TIME. some entitlement whore uses it. 

    Throw a party, fine.  But for FFS, you don't get the dress, the vows, the walking down the aisle...you get NONE of the frills.  Because you've already said your vows and you already walked down an aisle to the JP or whomever said the words which ended with "I now pronounce you husband/wife and husband/wife."  Or whatever variant is used.

    I just don't understand the damn entitlement of society these days. 


    wedding tickers

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  • MollyandDMollyandD member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    Wearing a wedding dress even of it's not a wedding doesn't bother me at all. As long as everyone is being honest and the hosts are hosting, I don't care what they wear.
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  • MollyandDMollyandD member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    mrsRAJAB said:

    This post hit home a little for me... and not in a good way.

    I married my SO of 5+ years in CH in March because of a medical condition I have and lack of medical coverage. Keep in mind, I work full time (45 hours a week) and still couldn't afford to carry myself with the plans my job offered either. I also was unable to afford what the government had to offer.

    I live in NY and our CH didn't ask us to walk down any aisle, didn't ask if we had any vows to share, my father didn't give me away and I definitely didn't have "wedding day jitters".

    We both wore nice attire and took a couple pictures together and with our parents who came with us as witnesses. The documentation and ceremony were done within an hour!

    With that said, I am planning a WEDDING next May.

    A wedding is an EVENT and a MARRIAGE is a commitment and a legally binding agreement. What you do in CH is NOT what every girl dreams of.. I am sorry but this is IMO.

    I think every woman deserves a DAY in her life where she is center of attention, where she feels like all eyes are on her and everyone is excited for her new life event. After all, lets be honest, the bride does a lot of work to plan a wedding and shells out a lot of money for GUESTS to celebrate with HER. Its only right she has her CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE moment. This has NOTHING  to do with being entitled because EVERY woman planning a wedding, married already or not, wants to have that moment.

    I think it was unfair of the poster to put what she put on her FB "friends" status because I don't feel she realized that her "friend" probably did the CH thing first because of benefits she would need or receive from her SO being in the service. And TBH that's the way ALOT of military girlfriends do it. It sometimes is the only way it will work for the couples.

    After all, would any of you ladies appreciate someone trying to spoil a day (which you would hope only happens ONCE) you've been looking forward to for quite some time?

    Just giving this thread an opinion from the other side of the coin....

    You can still acknowledge that you are married though. You can have a great celebration of marriage without pretending you aren't already married. :)

    So, congratulations on your recent wedding. I am happy for you. 
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  • theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    Jessie42613 said:


    mrsRAJAB said:

    This post hit home a little for me... and not in a good way.

    I married my SO of 5+ years in CH in March because of a medical condition I have and lack of medical coverage. Keep in mind, I work full time (45 hours a week) and still couldn't afford to carry myself with the plans my job offered either. I also was unable to afford what the government had to offer.

    I live in NY and our CH didn't ask us to walk down any aisle, didn't ask if we had any vows to share, my father didn't give me away and I definitely didn't have "wedding day jitters".

    We both wore nice attire and took a couple pictures together and with our parents who came with us as witnesses. The documentation and ceremony were done within an hour!

    With that said, I am planning a WEDDING next May.

    A wedding is an EVENT and a MARRIAGE is a commitment and a legally binding agreement. What you do in CH is NOT what every girl dreams of.. I am sorry but this is IMO.

    I think every woman deserves a DAY in her life where she is center of attention, where she feels like all eyes are on her and everyone is excited for her new life event. After all, lets be honest, the bride does a lot of work to plan a wedding and shells out a lot of money for GUESTS to celebrate with HER. Its only right she has her CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE moment. This has NOTHING  to do with being entitled because EVERY woman planning a wedding, married already or not, wants to have that moment.

    I think it was unfair of the poster to put what she put on her FB "friends" status because I don't feel she realized that her "friend" probably did the CH thing first because of benefits she would need or receive from her SO being in the service. And TBH that's the way ALOT of military girlfriends do it. It sometimes is the only way it will work for the couples.

    After all, would any of you ladies appreciate someone trying to spoil a day (which you would hope only happens ONCE) you've been looking forward to for quite some time?

    Just giving this thread an opinion from the other side of the coin....


    Nope.

    All decisions have consequences, sister.  You CHOSE to have a CH wedding.  (And for the record, a wedding is an event at which a marriage occurs)  Wonderful!  The consequence of that is you don't get the "special day" with all the frills and trappings of a large and fancy wedding day.

    On the flip side, you could have had the fancy, elaborate wedding day.. the consequence of which would have meant forfeiting the medical insurance.

    Part of being an adult is realizing and accepting that we can't have it all, and that sometimes, life isn't fair.

    And to the bolded - that sounds pretty damn entitled to me.


    Ditto all of this. Every human DESERVES the right to be legally married. Hopefully someday we get there. Until then, don't so lightly dismiss the legal right you got to partake in and claim you deserve more because you want a party and attention. You don't. A wedding is a thing by which people get married. You have already had that.
    image
    image
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  • mrsRAJABmrsRAJAB member
    Name Dropper First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited May 2014
    I think theres a major disconnect in this discussion. the purpose of getting MARRIED is to unite both legally and spiritually (for whatever practice of faith). the purpose of a WEDDING is to celebrate that unification. what CONSEQUENCE is anyone having to endure because they were married by a JP? im lost..

    as far as what we all classify as entitled, I guess to each their own..

    and i just wanted to bring back to light the topic of this post; wasnt it in regards to the OP being confused as to why her FB friend decided to have a wedding AFTER she was already married? because I was addressing why that individual probably wanted to celebrate the fact that she was married to her husband with family and friends. I did notice another reply stating women who deny being ALREADY MARRIED AND CLAIMING TO GET MARRIED ON THEIR WEDDING DAY, thats a different situation all together and not something the OP lead me to believe is what she was stating about her FB friend. if it was, then I completely understand where the OP was coming from.

    mrsRAJAB said:

    This post hit home a little for me... and not in a good way.

    I married my SO of 5+ years in CH in March because of a medical condition I have and lack of medical coverage. Keep in mind, I work full time (45 hours a week) and still couldn't afford to carry myself with the plans my job offered either. I also was unable to afford what the government had to offer.

    I live in NY and our CH didn't ask us to walk down any aisle, didn't ask if we had any vows to share, my father didn't give me away and I definitely didn't have "wedding day jitters".

    We both wore nice attire and took a couple pictures together and with our parents who came with us as witnesses. The documentation and ceremony were done within an hour!

    With that said, I am planning a WEDDING next May.

    A wedding is an EVENT and a MARRIAGE is a commitment and a legally binding agreement. What you do in CH is NOT what every girl dreams of.. I am sorry but this is IMO.

    I think every woman deserves a DAY in her life where she is center of attention, where she feels like all eyes are on her and everyone is excited for her new life event. After all, lets be honest, the bride does a lot of work to plan a wedding and shells out a lot of money for GUESTS to celebrate with HER. Its only right she has her CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE moment. This has NOTHING  to do with being entitled because EVERY woman planning a wedding, married already or not, wants to have that moment.

    I think it was unfair of the poster to put what she put on her FB "friends" status because I don't feel she realized that her "friend" probably did the CH thing first because of benefits she would need or receive from her SO being in the service. And TBH that's the way ALOT of military girlfriends do it. It sometimes is the only way it will work for the couples.

    After all, would any of you ladies appreciate someone trying to spoil a day (which you would hope only happens ONCE) you've been looking forward to for quite some time?

    Just giving this thread an opinion from the other side of the coin....


    Nope.

    All decisions have consequences, sister.  You CHOSE to have a CH wedding.  (And for the record, a wedding is an event at which a marriage occurs)  Wonderful!  The consequence of that is you don't get the "special day" with all the frills and trappings of a large and fancy wedding day.

    On the flip side, you could have had the fancy, elaborate wedding day.. the consequence of which would have meant forfeiting the medical insurance.

    Part of being an adult is realizing and accepting that we can't have it all, and that sometimes, life isn't fair.

    And to the bolded - that sounds pretty damn entitled to me.
    Ditto all of this. Every human DESERVES the right to be legally married. Hopefully someday we get there. Until then, don't so lightly dismiss the legal right you got to partake in and claim you deserve more because you want a party and attention. You don't. A wedding is a thing by which people get married. You have already had that.



      Met my BFF | 12.2006   
    Dating my BFF | 10.25.08
    Engaged  to  him | 1.1.14
    Marrying my BFF | 5.3.15
    & Happily spending the     rest of my days being MRS.RAJAB ♥

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