Wedding Etiquette Forum

Re: (closed)

  • edited July 2014
  • You are the hosts.  You set the house rules.
    Since your wedding is a small one, use word of mouth about the no alcohol rule before the wedding.  If anyone doesn't get the word, or agree, you approach them privately and ask them to put the beer back in their car and drink it at some other time.
    The same rules apply to marijuana.
  • You are well within your rights to tell people that you do not want alcohol around. Since your guest list is small you might have guests that understand. If I was told I could stay at a lake property with someone I know and they began telling me what I can and can not bring I would side-eye them, especially if it is something legal like alcohol or cigarettes. Your guest are probably all very close to you and already know your feelings about alcohol though. Agree with CMGragain, remind people with word of mouth.
  • If you're paying for the home you do get to say what goes in it but I'm seriously side eyeing this. As a grown adult, I don't take well to my own parents telling me what do do. If I didn't know your rules before I agreed to stay in the home I'd probably abide by them (vs. stay somewhere else) but just as you judge the drinking, I'd judge the control - freak aspect.

    Then again, I was raised that alcoholic beverages are at every event - including my child's birthday parties. Yes the are alcoholics in my family but most drinkers aren't.
  • You can ask that there no alcohol since you are paying for rental. I'm assuming you have a guest or two that isn't good at controlling themselves else you probably wouldn't be so concerned about this. I agree that you should tell guests in advance that while at the home you are renting, there will be no alcohol. Would you be open to having some fun mocktails? I think it would be fun to have some fun summer drinks while sitting around at a lake, but that doesn't mean that those fun drinks have to have alcohol. Also, if someone decides that they would prefer to stay elsewhere so that they can end their day with a glass of wine, be ok with that decision too. They are respecting your wishes of no alcohol in your home but doing what will accomodate themselves too. Also be prepared on how you would deal with it if a guest does say open a glass of wine or bring some beer into the house & trying to do it in a way that doesn't cause a melt down.
  • jnissajnissa member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    It sounds like your wedding is small enough that this won't matter to people because they all intimately know you. I would be declining the invite because being told as an adult to go four days at a vacation destination that, while you may be paying for the house, would involve time off work and money to attend for me, without having some wine would be a deal breaker. 

    It's your house, your money, your rules, but you're ultimately hosting. I'd give some thought to whether this request is ultimately making your guests uncomfortable *for four days*. 
  • I really agree with PPs.  Your house, your rules.  That said, the way your post reads, it's wedding first, then fun-filled family weekend at the rented house.  And you mentioned that you have family/friends who enjoy alcohol (and I'm assuming can do so responsibly). 

    Would you be open to a compromise where the house was dry until after the wedding?  Say everyone gets on Friday, wedding on Saturday.  During this time, no alcohol.  But Sunday and Monday, after the wedding, if people want to bring in beer or wine for their own enjoyment, you do your best to go with the flow.  I'd imagine you'd want to spend some private time with your new husband during that time, and I wouldn't try to control what people do in your absence.

  • I'm very confused as to why just seeing someone drink could make you cry. Especially coming from your dry background. I know some people that are in fact very uncomfortable around alcohol, but that's only because they have a history of alcoholics / alcohol abuse in their family. Not trying to sound rude, but I would definitely advise to maybe seek some counseling, because I think there's a little bit more to the problem here.
  • That's a really rude thing to do to your guests. A dry wedding is one thing, but forcing them to take an entire dry vacation? Rude. You can't force your own lifestyle choices on everyone around you. They're adults. It's very strange that you feel the need to control the behavior of a group of adults. Being a good host means treating everyone with respect and ensuring they enjoy themselves, since they've taken the time to travel to your wedding and probably spent some amount of money on it. Not imposing a harsh list of rules that ensure they will not get to enjoy their time.
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Ninth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    You can prohibit alcohol in your house or even at your reception, but honestly, the most I would do is just not serve it. You really can't prevent them from drinking when they're not actually on your property.
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