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Grounds for divorce... After 3 weeks of marriage

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Re: Grounds for divorce... After 3 weeks of marriage

  • Thinking about you Seneca
  • Nothing more to say here that hasn't already been said. Sending strength and good vibes your way. One of the toughest things in the world is to know you must do what seems to be impossible, and to take the first steps in that direction. Baby steps if you have to. Just get through today, this afternoon, the next hour, the next 5 minutes, whatever it takes. Please keep talking to us and let us know you and the kids are ok. Vent, ask for vibes, gather your strength, dump on us, celebrate, whatever you need. Do it here.
  • I'm so, so sorry this happened to you. I hope everything went okay tonight and that you're hopefully getting some rest. We're all here for you. 
    Anniversary



  • I'm freaked out that we haven't had any sort of update since last night. Please, please, please just let us know that you're safe. 
  • Senecaf said:
    Don't freak out. Just busy with the kids. I'll update when. I get to work.
    I'm sorry, but I have to laugh at YOU telling me to not freak out when you're the one in this situation :) poor choice of words on my part.  Just wanting the best possible outcome for you all and thinking of you all. xo. 
  • That's just so awful :( It sounds like you guys may need to see a counselor to try to get things under control. If it happens again, please tell someone!! There's no reason for you or your kids to be in danger, or to live in fear of being hurt!
  • Everything went alright yesterday. I got home from work and he was leaving. I made him give me his keys and the lock change thing. He asked what he should do. I told him he needed alcohol counseling. For himself. Not me. I saw after he was gone he left me $100 for food.

    Then I went and picked the kids up from my grandma. It was too late. She needs her time and keeping them till 5:30 every day is too much. I can't do that everyday. It isn't fair to her.
    The kids and I went to dinner, came home danced to pop music in the family room (they danced, I wallowed) then went to bed. I let them sleep with me. Bad idea haha. They wiggled and fought over the blanket all night. I told them Dad is staying with Grandma helping her fix the condo. That worked for now. I'm not ready to tackle that convo yet.

    So I think I'm going to hang around today and then go hide under a figurative rock for a while. I appreciate the support but it's pretty depressing. This is a wedding site after all and my wedding that i was so proud of is now just a big waste of time and money. I'm also going to stay away from social networks too.

    I'll get the locks changed tomorrow. I'm already noticing his absence. Like today I almost missed the garbage truck. He takes the trash to the curb. He mows the lawn. He told me if I want him to cut it just leave the mower outside of the garage Wednesday and let him know. It's tempting but no. He said he will keep paying his bills. Cable and Internet and stuff we don't need. I didn't say yes or no so he will probably just do it.

    The hardest thing about this is that this man has been my best friend and the person I have loved for 12 years. Since I was 14. There has never been anyone else. After 12 years you wouldn't think marriage would change much, and it doesn't but it makes this that much worse. My heart is breaking.
    I don't know how to tell everyone. I'm not going to yet. I just don't have the heart to hear everyone's shock and horror that we have split. I feel the need to apologize to everyone. They traveled so far and spent so much to be with us. They showed us soooooo much love I cried. They gave gifts and wished us endless happiness.

    Most of all I'm sad that my husband hurt me. Because no matter what I love him.
  • You can do this. You already took the first right step. I'm proud of you.


    I'm willing to bet that if your guests knew about this situation, they'd be proud of how you're handling it as well.
    --

    I'm the fuck
    out.

    image
  • I'm so glad you are okay. 

    Whenever you need us, we are here. I'll be thinking of you and sending good vibes your way. 
    image
  • I got teary reading your update. You are so strong and are handling this with as much grace as you possibly can. I'm glad H seemed to be understanding of what you wanted, but also supportive like the grocery money. 



  • I'll be thinking about you and your kids. Take care of yourself. 
  • You did the right thing, and I think you will know that once all the pain ebbs. <3
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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  • Proud of you, and relieved you're okay. I understand the heartbreak well. It's easy for everyone to say "done," but not so easy when you're the person actually doing it.
    I'm sorry if I made you feel lectured or belittled in any way. Never my intention, and I'm sure it wasn't anyone else's.

    (My second marriage exploded within a month. And I was sick with grief. I felt like everything I believed in and all my hopes and all my faith and best intentions had been turned into a cruel, ugly farce. Shattered. So yes, I understand how terrible and hard this is, and I hope that you understand that I would never intentionally say anything to add to your pain.)

    You're a beautiful, wonderful person, and a wonderful mother, and people are worried about you. Take care of yourself. Hide if you need to, but check in if you can just to let us know you're okay. Thoughts and prayers for you.
  • I'm very sorry you are going through all of this.  Sending you all the good thoughts I've got to help you get through it. 
    image


  • daria24daria24 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    edited September 2014
    Seneca you are so incredibly strong and words cannot express how much I admire you and what you have been able to do so far. I understand needing to step away from TK and social media. I hope you will check back in with us every once in awhile, we will all be thinking of you. 

    I hope when times are tough, you will think of the dozens of women on this board, whom you will never meet, who are pulling for you and wishing you the best. I don't pray, but you and your family will be in my heart, and as the weeks and months go by, I will still think of you guys and wish you healing and happiness. I hope your H seriously commits to counseling and to sobriety. One night doesn't have to define his life, he can work to rebuild trust to be the parent you know he can be. 

     All the best to you and your children.
    image
  • I think I can speak for everyone and say we are all very proud of this first step you took. That took a lot of courage and strength. 

    I don't think you owe an explanation to anyone right now. If they ask, just tell them that the matter is personal and you are not going to discuss it.

    As for your kids, I know you are worried about them. I am not a mother so I can't speak from that perspective. But I am a product of divorce. And let me tell you this: I was 17 when my parents separated (my brothers were 14 and 25). Even at 25, 17, and 14, we were all confused and upset. Them being young doesn't necessarily make it harder or easier. 

    You are a great mom and I know you will figure all of this out.

  • I agree with QueerFemme. Let him pay for whatever he wants. He still needs to be financially responsible for his children. Let him mow the lawn or do whatever things he can from outside of the house while you are not there. _____________________________________________________________________________________Take one day at a time, that is all you can do. Decide everything on your own timeline, you will get through this! Perhaps two days a week, your kids could go home with one of their friends and in exchange you can take that kid for a few hours on the weekend. You could explain to the parent that your schedule is in flux and you just need some extra help. No need to explain further. That would give grandma two afternoons free per week.
  • Thinking of you today @Senecaf! Sending all the hugs and Ts & Ps your way!
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • @sultryzulu out of all of the siggies on here that reflect drinking, you took mine to be disturbing and insensitive? It's from a television show called Archer. I'm am thoroughly confused and a little offended that I'm being called out when I'm not the only one that has something that could be "offensive" in their siggies.
    I'm confused too about how it's offensive. Is it because of the drinking? Should everyone who has an alcohol-related sig not post on this topic? 
    Anniversary



  • @ cupcait - I wasn't focusing on you as much as the image and my comment didn't relate to every siggie on here, it related to one that stood out for me. 

    @ lulu - see above, this isn't all siggies about all people.  we're discussing some pretty serious topics created by some equally serious issues and it stood out in context.   I'm expressing my opinion in that context if we're still allowed to that on public forum message boards.   

    my primary focus is still about how to help senecaf if she'd like.  

     
  • Seneca, you're still on my mind and in my prayers.  You're doing the right things.  We're all here for you and supporting you from afar.
  • Understood. I wasn't speaking on her behalf I was speaking on mine. That'll be the last defense I have in stating my opinion. She really should be the primary focus here.
  • Understood. I wasn't speaking on her behalf I was speaking on mine. That'll be the last defense I have in stating my opinion. She really should be the primary focus here.
    And she is.
    --

    I'm the fuck
    out.

    image
  • The signatures in this thread have ZERO to do with the posters feelings towards OP and her situation. FFS they are just signatures and are meant to be funny.

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