Grounds for divorce... After 3 weeks of marriage

emmaaa · September 2014

sultryzulu said:

Understood. I wasn't speaking on her behalf I was speaking on mine. That'll be the last defense I have in stating my opinion. She really should be the primary focus here.

Exactly, she is the focus here. Then why did you bring it up to begin with and not just PM cupcait?

LDay2014 · September 2014

@Senecaf

I'm happy to see he is being reasonable about all this.

I truly hope he gets the help that he needs and is able to function in the parenting/spousal capacity that you had hoped.

I really am looking forward to hearing an update from you in the coming weeks and hope for the best for your family.

sophhabobopha · September 2014

Seneca, I'm glad you're okay. Thinking about you.

raissyrais · September 2014

My thoughts are with you Senecaf. Was thinking about you yesterday while at work and I hope you're doing a bit better...

JCbride2015 · September 2014

Seneca, I'm thinking about you and your kids today. You are so strong.

levioosa · September 2014

Thinking of you @Seneca. I agree with previous PPs (with the exception of STBMrs.Everhart--seriously, wtf kind of advice is that???)

The only thing I have to add is this: I understand why you would not want to be on TK anymore, but please don't isolate yourself further if you are already feeling isolated from any individual friends you have outside of your relationship. We are here for you and support you, and these ladies are great resources to use and help you through this.

I also ditto going to AA support meetings for family. It will help immensely. It was what finally got my mom to stop enabling my brother and to make moves to stop being codependent. It helped her feel like she finally had power back in her life.

So sorry you are dealing with this. You are in my thoughts and prayers

[Deleted User] · September 2014

Man, this made my heart hurt. You're so brave and amazing.

You've already done so incredibly well.

hellosweetie1015 · September 2014

I just got a chance to read this thread, and I wanted to tell you I'm thinking of you and your kiddos today. PPs have given you great advice and food for thought, and it sounds like you're taking the advice you feel you need to take.

I agree with PPs saying let him pay for/do whatever he offers to pay for/do.

Thoughts and hugs to you and your kiddos.

DanikaMarie0227 · September 2014

@Seneca - I know I'm completely late to this but I just read your post & the update. Both made me want to cry for you. I have no advice to add, as plenty has been posted. Just wanted to send hugs & positive thoughts your way. You're a strong woman and I wish you & your babies nothing but the best. xo

afox007 · September 2014

I'm late to the thread and PP's have given you a ton of wonderful advice. I'm just hear to offer hugs to you and the kiddos.

Soraya99 · September 2014

I'm sorry you're going through this. I can only give you my experience. I was with a man who hit me. It didn't start until we were living together. Every time, he convinced me he was sorry, and I believed him. It went on for a year until I got together the strength to leave him, but I had to move hundreds of miles away to do it. I don't believe he ever would have changed.

Inkdancer · September 2014

I think, years down the road, that your kids are going to think back on this time and think "wow, Mom really had our backs." I know everything kind of sucks right now but you are definitely doing the right thing. Sending love and prayers your way.

melbenso · September 2014

sultryzulu said:

I didn’t know if you were going to be checking the boards so I PM’d you this as well. Today at 6:00 p.m., there is a Pro Bono Legal Clinic at the First Church of God at 3480 Refugee Road (link below). They will be accepting walk ins and answering questions. This is the number for the Columbus Bar Association (614) 221-4112 but not the Clinic itself so I couldn’t find out in advance if family law attorneys will be amongst them. If you miss the clinic, dial that number anyway, they can refer you to a pro bono lawyer you can speak with at another time.

This is a Legal Aid Society of Columbus clinic. (I work for their sister program.) I would be very surprised if there weren't family law attorneys there. These clinics are generally for advice and help filing paperwork by yourself only. Occasionally, the volunteer attorneys will accept a case at a reduced rate, but there is no guarantee.

@Senecaf, you can go to the clinic if you want. But I would also recommend contacting Legal Aid directly to see if they can provide you with representation, either through one of their attorneys or through their pro bono referral program. I know both the head of their family law team and their pro bono coordinator (handles referring clients to volunteer and reduced cost attorneys). PM me if you would like me to contact either of them and see what services they offer and what kinds of family law cases they are currently accepting.

To qualify for assistance from LASC, you would have to be at or below a certain income level. I'm not sure which standard they use, but for a family of 3, if your annual, pre-tax income is under $24,413 you definitely would qualify financially. If they use the higher standard, you could qualify if your income was up to $36,619. Even if you qualify financially, that doesn't mean they will be able to accept your case, though. Also, the clinics sometimes have a higher income threshold level than that.

If you don't qualify, I also know some excellent family law attorneys in Columbus and could give you some names of people to contact. PM me for that too.

levieenrose · September 2014

Reading this on Tuesday, too late to offer you any new advice for the time being, I do want to offer my support along with all the PPs. Thank you for writing that update. I am sure it was incredibly difficult, but I think if you ever come back to read it, you'll be proud of who you are and the choices that you made.

As you mentioned, you should do whatever you need to do to heal and take the next steps--you don't owe us updates, especially if it's too painful. But if you ever need the community here, please feel heartened by the amount of support you have even by those of us who post infrequently.

loves2shop4shoes · September 2014

@SenecaF, I just want to put something in perspective for you.

I can only imagine how hard this is, especially with two kids. And I know you don't want to parent alone, or deal with the financial, emotional, or scheduling challenges that come along with parenting alone.

But ask yourself this...would you rather these kids have 1 stable parent at home or 0? Because if this happens again, and he does succeed in killing you (which he could have easily done when he tried to run you over), then your kids have no mother. And their father will be in prison.

ETA: I'm very proud of you for kicking him out and changing the locks, and my thoughts are with you. HUGS.

Belthil · September 2014

I'm sorry I'm late to this and I know PP have given you amazing advice. I'm sorry you're going through this. You're in my thoughts and prayers.

gladyscf · September 2014

@SenecaF

I know you said you were leaving for awhile but I just wanted you to know I was thinking about you in case you check back in from time to time.

FiancB · September 2014

Oh god I just thought I'd check up on tk today and then found this. I am so sorry. You are being exceptionally clear headed about all of this, keep it up.

Grounds for divorce... After 3 weeks of marriage

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