When most people are telling you your idea is rude, take it to heart. Nobody is bashing you. They're telling you your idea is rude. That it's not a good plan. Just because you don't agree with what others are saying does not make it rude. It sounds like you can't handle the truth. Perhaps internet forums are not the best place for you.
I think the ladies on here are very supportive. I got a few replies to quesitons that hurt my feelings too, but I listened and had a much better wedding because of it.
ANDalsoPLUS in your Honeyfund thread, you actually, literally said: Thank you to everyone who replied. It is nice to get outside opinions.
So, I guess you take that back now?
it is nice to get outside opinions.... whats not nice to get is a bunch of other people calling you a privileged princess because i think that the stuffy rules of etiquette don't apply to me. I am a rule follower. I never break the rules. However, i don't think there is a wedding rule book that says exactly how you have to plan your wedding. How, then, would you personalize your big day and make it your own?
That being said there are different levels of formality in weddings. If i'm having a black tie wedding, i would follow the "etiquette guidelines" of a formal wedding. On the same scale, if i am having a casual, laid back wedding, the rules and etiquette of a black tie, formal wedding are not going to apply.
I also believe that some groups and social circles have different opinions than others depending on where you are from.
I do appreciate all the constructive advise that was on the thread. What i don't appreciate is the comments implying they knew exactly what kind of person i am because of a post on a forum.
I think the ladies on here are very supportive. I got a few replies to quesitons that hurt my feelings too, but I listened and had a much better wedding because of it.
ANDalsoPLUS in your Honeyfund thread, you actually, literally said: Thank you to everyone who replied. It is nice to get outside opinions.
So, I guess you take that back now?
it is nice to get outside opinions.... whats not nice to get is a bunch of other people calling you a privileged princess because i think that the stuffy rules of etiquette don't apply to me. I am a rule follower. I never break the rules. However, i don't think there is a wedding rule book that says exactly how you have to plan your wedding. How, then, would you personalize your big day and make it your own?
That being said there are different levels of formality in weddings. If i'm having a black tie wedding, i would follow the "etiquette guidelines" of a formal wedding. On the same scale, if i am having a casual, laid back wedding, the rules and etiquette of a black tie, formal wedding are not going to apply.
I also believe that some groups and social circles have different opinions than others depending on where you are from.
I do appreciate all the constructive advise that was on the thread. What i don't appreciate is the comments implying they knew exactly what kind of person i am because of a post on a forum.
Etiquette is not about being 'stuffy.' It's about treating people politely. Asking for money is not polite. Ever. In any circumstance.
Certain etiquette rules are universal. No matter how casual your wedding, it's not acceptable to ask guests to open their wallets at the event on any way shape or form. It's also not OK to ever have a honeymoon registry or a registry for some kind of cash (like a down payment on a home).
Being casual or laid back does not mean that etiquette stops applying. I hardly think you'll find a backyard wedding with a "pull the groom's finger" portion of the night.
Certain etiquette rules are universal. No matter how casual your wedding, it's not acceptable to ask guests to open their wallets at the event on any way shape or form. It's also not OK to ever have a honeymoon registry or a registry for some kind of cash (like a down payment on a home).
Being casual or laid back does not mean that etiquette stops applying. I hardly think you'll find a backyard wedding with a "pull the groom's finger" portion of the night.
Exactly. If you're having a backyard wedding versus a black-tie country club wedding, some aspects will differ. But asking for money is a universal no-no.
And if you think THIS is rude, you would have not lasted 3 minutes with the regs that were around when I was planning my wedding. They would have had your lunch.
I don't want to be all MUD here but just so you know, most people who were being the snarkiest/getting just a wee bit personal on that other thread were responding to a different poster who shall remain nameless. Not you. Hope that helps.
Pretty much totally unrelated: My cousin's ex spelled her name Tiphanie (I think--might have been Tiphaney--haven't seen her in a couple years). It is a variant of Tiffany. Hard to remember how to spell even then. My mum has this odd obsession with place cards for dinners and she probably got it wrong more often than right. Anyway, most people aren't responsible for the spelling of their own names, anyway...that would be their parents' problem. Most of us are just stuck with what we're given, like it or not!
I think the ladies on here are very supportive. I got a few replies to quesitons that hurt my feelings too, but I listened and had a much better wedding because of it.
ANDalsoPLUS in your Honeyfund thread, you actually, literally said: Thank you to everyone who replied. It is nice to get outside opinions.
So, I guess you take that back now?
it is nice to get outside opinions.... whats not nice to get is a bunch of other people calling you a privileged princess because i think that the stuffy rules of etiquette don't apply to me. I am a rule follower. I never break the rules. However, i don't think there is a wedding rule book that says exactly how you have to plan your wedding. How, then, would you personalize your big day and make it your own?
That being said there are different levels of formality in weddings. If i'm having a black tie wedding, i would follow the "etiquette guidelines" of a formal wedding. On the same scale, if i am having a casual, laid back wedding, the rules and etiquette of a black tie, formal wedding are not going to apply.
I also believe that some groups and social circles have different opinions than others depending on where you are from.
I do appreciate all the constructive advise that was on the thread. What i don't appreciate is the comments implying they knew exactly what kind of person i am because of a post on a forum.
Actually, yes there is (in the etiquette sense anyway.)
I think the ladies on here are very supportive. I got a few replies to quesitons that hurt my feelings too, but I listened and had a much better wedding because of it.
ANDalsoPLUS in your Honeyfund thread, you actually, literally said: Thank you to everyone who replied. It is nice to get outside opinions.
So, I guess you take that back now?
it is nice to get outside opinions.... whats not nice to get is a bunch of other people calling you a privileged princess because i think that the stuffy rules of etiquette don't apply to me. I am a rule follower. I never break the rules. However, i don't think there is a wedding rule book that says exactly how you have to plan your wedding. How, then, would you personalize your big day and make it your own?
That being said there are different levels of formality in weddings. If i'm having a black tie wedding, i would follow the "etiquette guidelines" of a formal wedding. On the same scale, if i am having a casual, laid back wedding, the rules and etiquette of a black tie, formal wedding are not going to apply.
I also believe that some groups and social circles have different opinions than others depending on where you are from.
I do appreciate all the constructive advise that was on the thread. What i don't appreciate is the comments implying they knew exactly what kind of person i am because of a post on a forum.
Wow. You just don't get it, do you? Etiquette rules apply to EVERYONE, and if you choose to ignore them that's your own prerogative but then you are also choosing to not treat your guests well and to be rude, which is not cool in most books.
There's nothing "stuffy" about being kind to the people who have taken the time, money, and effort to attend your wedding.
I think the ladies on here are very supportive. I got a few replies to quesitons that hurt my feelings too, but I listened and had a much better wedding because of it.
ANDalsoPLUS in your Honeyfund thread, you actually, literally said: Thank you to everyone who replied. It is nice to get outside opinions.
So, I guess you take that back now?
it is nice to get outside opinions.... whats not nice to get is a bunch of other people calling you a privileged princess because i think that the stuffy rules of etiquette don't apply to me. I am a rule follower. I never break the rules. However, i don't think there is a wedding rule book that says exactly how you have to plan your wedding. How, then, would you personalize your big day and make it your own?
That being said there are different levels of formality in weddings. If i'm having a black tie wedding, i would follow the "etiquette guidelines" of a formal wedding. On the same scale, if i am having a casual, laid back wedding, the rules and etiquette of a black tie, formal wedding are not going to apply.
I also believe that some groups and social circles have different opinions than others depending on where you are from.
I do appreciate all the constructive advise that was on the thread. What i don't appreciate is the comments implying they knew exactly what kind of person i am because of a post on a forum.
Wow. You just don't get it, do you? Etiquette rules apply to EVERYONE, and if you choose to ignore them that's your own prerogative but then you are also choosing to not treat your guests well and to be rude, which is not cool in most books.
There's nothing "stuffy" about being kind to the people who have taken the time, money, and effort to attend your wedding.
I'm sure her guests love her enough that they won't care that she doesn't love them much at all - or at least she doesn't love them enough to not treat them like crap and take advantage of their love. At that point, who cares what the guests think?!
I think the ladies on here are very supportive. I got a few replies to quesitons that hurt my feelings too, but I listened and had a much better wedding because of it.
ANDalsoPLUS in your Honeyfund thread, you actually, literally said: Thank you to everyone who replied. It is nice to get outside opinions.
So, I guess you take that back now?
it is nice to get outside opinions.... whats not nice to get is a bunch of other people calling you a privileged princess because i think that the stuffy rules of etiquette don't apply to me. I am a rule follower. I never break the rules. However, i don't think there is a wedding rule book that says exactly how you have to plan your wedding. How, then, would you personalize your big day and make it your own?
That being said there are different levels of formality in weddings. If i'm having a black tie wedding, i would follow the "etiquette guidelines" of a formal wedding. On the same scale, if i am having a casual, laid back wedding, the rules and etiquette of a black tie, formal wedding are not going to apply.
I also believe that some groups and social circles have different opinions than others depending on where you are from.
I do appreciate all the constructive advise that was on the thread. What i don't appreciate is the comments implying they knew exactly what kind of person i am because of a post on a forum.
Yeah, etiquette is the same for any type of event. It has nothing to do with making your wedding YOURS and everything to do with making your guests comfortable.
Take the open bar issue, for instance. Etiquette states that whatever is offered to guests must be offered at no charge. So while my friend that had a black tie wedding had glorious top-shelf mixed drinks served out of ice sculptures and I had keg beer and cheap wine, all these items were paid for by us. So although our offerings were different, we were both within the rules of etiquette as none of our guests opened their wallets.
OP Basic etiquette doesn't change. Some things will always be tacky/rude regardless of the formality of the event. I.E. you should never ask for money. You should have a seat for every butt, you should eat the same level of food as your guests, your guests shouldn't open their wallets all night.
Everyone's wedding is made unique by the things that aren't etiquette dependent. i.e. flower choices, dress colors/types, decor, favors, the fact that it is your freaking wedding!!!!!
Maybe it's the cool new thing to personalize your wedding by seeing how rude you can be to people? Like, ok everyone who's last name starts with an A does not get a chair. If your last name starts with a B, donate to my "I'm an ungrateful spoiled brat" fund. Isn't this so fun?! Yay my wedding! ME!
Maybe it's the cool new thing to personalize your wedding by seeing how rude you can be to people? Like, ok everyone who's last name starts with an A does not get a chair. If your last name starts with a B, donate to my "I'm an ungrateful spoiled brat" fund. Isn't this so fun?! Yay my wedding! ME!
In what dimension do you get off calling people ungrateful spoiled brats because they want to register for a honeymoon rather than receive gifts they are going to return and get the cash anyway! We both have three jobs and no help with paying for our wedding. We aren't asking for handouts. I saw an idea that i thought was neat and i asked what people thought of it. I didn't ask for everyone to assume that i am some over privileged princess because i thought it might be nice to be able to go on a honeymoon. Please forgive me for wanting to take a nice trip with my soon to be husband. I understand the concept of telling me my idea is a bad one, but please stop assuming that I think i am better than everyone else. There is a such thing as constructive criticism, and then there is a such thing as being rude. I thought the people on here would be grown up enough to know the difference....
Maybe it's the cool new thing to personalize your wedding by seeing how rude you can be to people? Like, ok everyone who's last name starts with an A does not get a chair. If your last name starts with a B, donate to my "I'm an ungrateful spoiled brat" fund. Isn't this so fun?! Yay my wedding! ME!
In what dimension do you get off calling people ungrateful spoiled brats because they want to register for a honeymoon rather than receive gifts they are going to return and get the cash anyway! We both have three jobs and no help with paying for our wedding. We aren't asking for handouts. I saw an idea that i thought was neat and i asked what people thought of it. I didn't ask for everyone to assume that i am some over privileged princess because i thought it might be nice to be able to go on a honeymoon. Please forgive me for wanting to take a nice trip with my soon to be husband. I understand the concept of telling me my idea is a bad one, but please stop assuming that I think i am better than everyone else. There is a such thing as constructive criticism, and then there is a such thing as being rude. I thought the people on here would be grown up enough to know the difference....
Geeze, put your bra in the freezer for an hour because you need to cool the heck off. If you get your feelings hurt so quickly over snarky responses then I really don't think this place, or the internet for that fact, is for you.
As to the bolded. Are you expecting us to feel sorry for you? Because that is not going to happen. You aren't the only one who works multiple jobs or is paying for your own wedding on here. Many, many other posters are in the same position. And registering for a vacation is asking for a handout.
Finally, on forums you don't get to dictate how people respond to your posts. If you don't like what they write then scroll right on by it or block them from your feed. Posters on here give plenty of constructive criticism but we do not like these silly posts that basically tell us that we are bashing people all the time because that is never the case. What is the case is some poster coming on here, asks for advice and then for some reason when we say that it is not a good idea and here is why, they aren't happy with the answers given. Or they aren't happy with how the answers are given because they weren't dunked in chocolate and then sprinkled in powdered sugar and then delivered by a puppy in a rainbow colored convertible.
Maybe it's the cool new thing to personalize your wedding by seeing how rude you can be to people? Like, ok everyone who's last name starts with an A does not get a chair. If your last name starts with a B, donate to my "I'm an ungrateful spoiled brat" fund. Isn't this so fun?! Yay my wedding! ME!
In what dimension do you get off calling people ungrateful spoiled brats because they want to register for a honeymoon rather than receive gifts they are going to return and get the cash anyway! We both have three jobs and no help with paying for our wedding. We aren't asking for handouts. I saw an idea that i thought was neat and i asked what people thought of it. I didn't ask for everyone to assume that i am some over privileged princess because i thought it might be nice to be able to go on a honeymoon. Please forgive me for wanting to take a nice trip with my soon to be husband. I understand the concept of telling me my idea is a bad one, but please stop assuming that I think i am better than everyone else. There is a such thing as constructive criticism, and then there is a such thing as being rude. I thought the people on here would be grown up enough to know the difference....
I'm sorry, what part of starting a thread saying everyone commenting on the forums has no life (Do I even NEED to point out the irony that you COMMENTED saying that anyone who comments clearly has no life?) shows YOU know the difference between "Constructive criticism" and being rude?
I give zero fucks about honey fund, the hypocrisy here is just ridiculous. You can't complain about people being mean to you when you literally started a thread with no other intention than to complain about people and insult them. YEAH people are going to respond to you in a not-so-nice way when you handle yourself like that. Has it not occurred to you ONCE that MAYBE that might be why you're getting such snarky answers?
ETA: seriously if you hadn't started this thread, this whole topic would have been over with a while ago.
Maybe it's the cool new thing to personalize your wedding by seeing how rude you can be to people? Like, ok everyone who's last name starts with an A does not get a chair. If your last name starts with a B, donate to my "I'm an ungrateful spoiled brat" fund. Isn't this so fun?! Yay my wedding! ME!
In what dimension do you get off calling people ungrateful spoiled brats because they want to register for a honeymoon rather than receive gifts they are going to return and get the cash anyway! We both have three jobs and no help with paying for our wedding. We aren't asking for handouts. I saw an idea that i thought was neat and i asked what people thought of it. I didn't ask for everyone to assume that i am some over privileged princess because i thought it might be nice to be able to go on a honeymoon. Please forgive me for wanting to take a nice trip with my soon to be husband. I understand the concept of telling me my idea is a bad one, but please stop assuming that I think i am better than everyone else. There is a such thing as constructive criticism, and then there is a such thing as being rude. I thought the people on here would be grown up enough to know the difference....
But you are. Creating an entire registry just to ask people to give you their money is the definition of asking for handouts. If you can't afford a honeymoon, don't take a honeymoon. If you don't need physical gifts, don't register. Everyone has told you on multiple threads that honeymoon registries are rude and if left to their own devices, most people will give you cash anyway, so why bother running the risk of offending people with a blatant cash-grab?
I really don't understand the whole "we can't afford a honeymoon so we're going to register for one in this exotic location. Go big or go home, right?" A honeymoon doesn't have to be in the carribbean or Europe, or wherever. We went to Florida and it was great.
And FWIW, someone gifted is their airline miles as a wedding gift and someone paid for our hotel, without us asking.
I really don't understand the whole "we can't afford a honeymoon so we're going to register for one in this exotic location. Go big or go home, right?" A honeymoon doesn't have to be in the carribbean or Europe, or wherever. We went to Florida and it was great.
And FWIW, someone gifted is their airline miles as a wedding gift and someone paid for our hotel, without us asking.
no where did i say send us to cancun. People are assuming that themselves.
I have to agree with OP that calling her an ungrateful, spoiled brat hasn't quite been called for. I know we've seen a lot of Honeyfund supporters who HAVE been ungrateful, spoiled brats, but correlation does not equal causation. We have no reason so speculate that she won't have chairs. Let's all take it easy. The case against Honeyfunds has been made.
OP, you can't control how people post. Stick around and you'll see how etiquette applies to everyone, stuffy and/or expensive or not.
I really don't understand the whole "we can't afford a honeymoon so we're going to register for one in this exotic location. Go big or go home, right?" A honeymoon doesn't have to be in the carribbean or Europe, or wherever. We went to Florida and it was great.
And FWIW, someone gifted is their airline miles as a wedding gift and someone paid for our hotel, without us asking.
no where did i say send us to cancun. People are assuming that themselves.
Who's the one assuming? I never said you were going to cancun.
I really don't understand the whole "we can't afford a honeymoon so we're going to register for one in this exotic location. Go big or go home, right?" A honeymoon doesn't have to be in the carribbean or Europe, or wherever. We went to Florida and it was great.
And FWIW, someone gifted is their airline miles as a wedding gift and someone paid for our hotel, without us asking.
no where did i say send us to cancun. People are assuming that themselves.
Well in THAT CASE. Consider the pages and pages of drama you've manufactured to be moot!
...
You are missing the point in a colossal way. The point isn't that the Knotties think you're a spoiled brat. The point is, if you have a honeymoon registry, your GUESTS will think you're a spoiled brat. We are just trying to get you to see that before you actually offend people who matter to you.
(Is this a hard concept? I feel like I'm taking crazy pills between this and the "4 groomsmen" thread in CC.)
Maybe it's the cool new thing to personalize your wedding by seeing how rude you can be to people? Like, ok everyone who's last name starts with an A does not get a chair. If your last name starts with a B, donate to my "I'm an ungrateful spoiled brat" fund. Isn't this so fun?! Yay my wedding! ME!
In what dimension do you get off calling people ungrateful spoiled brats because they want to register for a honeymoon rather than receive gifts they are going to return and get the cash anyway! We both have three jobs and no help with paying for our wedding. We aren't asking for handouts. I saw an idea that i thought was neat and i asked what people thought of it. I didn't ask for everyone to assume that i am some over privileged princess because i thought it might be nice to be able to go on a honeymoon. Please forgive me for wanting to take a nice trip with my soon to be husband. I understand the concept of telling me my idea is a bad one, but please stop assuming that I think i am better than everyone else. There is a such thing as constructive criticism, and then there is a such thing as being rude. I thought the people on here would be grown up enough to know the difference....
To the bolded respectively:
1. And, your point is? Lots of couples receive NO help for their weddings.
2. Ok, since you asked so nicely,I'll forgive you for that, just pay for the honeymoon yourself, don't expect others to.
The problem with a HM registry is the people NOT in the know think they are actually giving your a dinner out or a sunset sail. They have no idea that all these places do is cut a check minus some fees.
Those of us in the know know better. That is why you are getting the answers you are getting the answer you are.
No matter how you slice it registering for 3 $50 dinners is really just asking for $139.50 ($150- 7% which is the average cut for those type places).
Even us old folks know that cash is always appreciated. We know we can just give you a check for $150. Except for showers. I never give cash for showers. They are gift giving events, no give me some cash events..
If you do not need physical gifts. Forgo a shower. I didn't have a HM registry. We had a smallish registry for physical gifts. At the wedding with 147 people we got about 10-15 gifts. The rest cash. Our guests figured it out on their own. Not only that, I didn't have to pay any fees.
What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests. Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated.
Maybe it's the cool new thing to personalize your wedding by seeing how rude you can be to people? Like, ok everyone who's last name starts with an A does not get a chair. If your last name starts with a B, donate to my "I'm an ungrateful spoiled brat" fund. Isn't this so fun?! Yay my wedding! ME!
In what dimension do you get off calling people ungrateful spoiled brats because they want to register for a honeymoon rather than receive gifts they are going to return and get the cash anyway! We both have three jobs and no help with paying for our wedding. We aren't asking for handouts. I saw an idea that i thought was neat and i asked what people thought of it. I didn't ask for everyone to assume that i am some over privileged princess because i thought it might be nice to be able to go on a honeymoon. Please forgive me for wanting to take a nice trip with my soon to be husband. I understand the concept of telling me my idea is a bad one, but please stop assuming that I think i am better than everyone else. There is a such thing as constructive criticism, and then there is a such thing as being rude. I thought the people on here would be grown up enough to know the difference....
Seriously? So not only do you think it's okay to ask people for charitable donations for a vacation, but you've already decided that you're going to return gifts and keep the cash? Wow. Really nice. I'm sure that all the people that put time and effort into shopping for gifts that they thought you'd appreciate and enjoy would really be happy about that.
A wedding isn't an excuse to line your pockets with other people's money.
And this: whats not nice to get is a bunch of other people calling you a privileged princess because i think that the stuffy rules of etiquette don't apply to me.
Honestly? Why do the rules of good manners and treating people well not apply to you? Are you special, somehow?
I don't think you even understand what etiquette is, or why it exists. It's the opposite of stuffy. It's about making other people as comfortable and happy as you can.
Maybe it's the cool new thing to personalize your wedding by seeing how rude you can be to people? Like, ok everyone who's last name starts with an A does not get a chair. If your last name starts with a B, donate to my "I'm an ungrateful spoiled brat" fund. Isn't this so fun?! Yay my wedding! ME!
In what dimension do you get off calling people ungrateful spoiled brats because they want to register for a honeymoon rather than receive gifts they are going to return and get the cash anyway! We both have three jobs and no help with paying for our wedding. We aren't asking for handouts. I saw an idea that i thought was neat and i asked what people thought of it. I didn't ask for everyone to assume that i am some over privileged princess because i thought it might be nice to be able to go on a honeymoon. Please forgive me for wanting to take a nice trip with my soon to be husband. I understand the concept of telling me my idea is a bad one, but please stop assuming that I think i am better than everyone else. There is a such thing as constructive criticism, and then there is a such thing as being rude. I thought the people on here would be grown up enough to know the difference....
Geeze, put your bra in the freezer for an hour because you need to cool the heck off. If you get your feelings hurt so quickly over snarky responses then I really don't think this place, or the internet for that fact, is for you.
As to the bolded. Are you expecting us to feel sorry for you? Because that is not going to happen. You aren't the only one who works multiple jobs or is paying for your own wedding on here. Many, many other posters are in the same position. And registering for a vacation is asking for a handout.
Finally, on forums you don't get to dictate how people respond to your posts. If you don't like what they write then scroll right on by it or block them from your feed. Posters on here give plenty of constructive criticism but we do not like these silly posts that basically tell us that we are bashing people all the time because that is never the case. What is the case is some poster coming on here, asks for advice and then for some reason when we say that it is not a good idea and here is why, they aren't happy with the answers given. Or they aren't happy with how the answers are given because they weren't dunked in chocolate and then sprinkled in powdered sugar and then delivered by a puppy in a rainbow colored convertible.
Maybe it's the cool new thing to personalize your wedding by seeing how rude you can be to people? Like, ok everyone who's last name starts with an A does not get a chair. If your last name starts with a B, donate to my "I'm an ungrateful spoiled brat" fund. Isn't this so fun?! Yay my wedding! ME!
In what dimension do you get off calling people ungrateful spoiled brats because they want to register for a honeymoon rather than receive gifts they are going to return and get the cash anyway! We both have three jobs and no help with paying for our wedding. We aren't asking for handouts. I saw an idea that i thought was neat and i asked what people thought of it. I didn't ask for everyone to assume that i am some over privileged princess because i thought it might be nice to be able to go on a honeymoon. Please forgive me for wanting to take a nice trip with my soon to be husband. I understand the concept of telling me my idea is a bad one, but please stop assuming that I think i am better than everyone else. There is a such thing as constructive criticism, and then there is a such thing as being rude. I thought the people on here would be grown up enough to know the difference....
Seriously? So not only do you think it's okay to ask people for charitable donations for a vacation, but you've already decided that you're going to return gifts and keep the cash? Wow. Really nice. I'm sure that all the people that put time and effort into shopping for gifts that they thought you'd appreciate and enjoy would really be happy about that.
A wedding isn't an excuse to line your pockets with other people's money.
And this: whats not nice to get is a bunch of other people calling you a privileged princess because i think that the stuffy rules of etiquette don't apply to me.
Honestly? Why do the rules of good manners and treating people well not apply to you? Are you special, somehow?
I don't think you even understand what etiquette is, or why it exists. It's the opposite of stuffy. It's about making other people as comfortable and happy as you can.
No, the rules don't apply to her... Her situation is...........different! And we're all too stuffy to understand.
Maybe it's the cool new thing to personalize your wedding by seeing how rude you can be to people? Like, ok everyone who's last name starts with an A does not get a chair. If your last name starts with a B, donate to my "I'm an ungrateful spoiled brat" fund. Isn't this so fun?! Yay my wedding! ME!
In what dimension do you get off calling people ungrateful spoiled brats because they want to register for a honeymoon rather than receive gifts they are going to return and get the cash anyway! We both have three jobs and no help with paying for our wedding. We aren't asking for handouts. I saw an idea that i thought was neat and i asked what people thought of it. I didn't ask for everyone to assume that i am some over privileged princess because i thought it might be nice to be able to go on a honeymoon. Please forgive me for wanting to take a nice trip with my soon to be husband. I understand the concept of telling me my idea is a bad one, but please stop assuming that I think i am better than everyone else. There is a such thing as constructive criticism, and then there is a such thing as being rude. I thought the people on here would be grown up enough to know the difference....
Yeah, you need to calm down. I wasn't referring to you directly, I was saying in general that people who treat their guests like crap, think it's ok to be rude, and beg for money because of a sense of entitlement are spoiled brats. You made a ton of assumptions with your response.
People continue to try and help you, and you continue to insult EVERYONE who posts on the Knot. As others have said, don't try to get sympathy for yourself or think that just because you work hard you're entitled to get guests to pay for your honeymoon. Many of us work hard. Specifically asking guests to give you money is extremely rude and there are other ways to go about it, which a lot of Knotties have told you now. Over and over and over and over.
Maybe it's the cool new thing to personalize your wedding by seeing how rude you can be to people? Like, ok everyone who's last name starts with an A does not get a chair. If your last name starts with a B, donate to my "I'm an ungrateful spoiled brat" fund. Isn't this so fun?! Yay my wedding! ME!
In what dimension do you get off calling people ungrateful spoiled brats because they want to register for a honeymoon rather than receive gifts they are going to return and get the cash anyway! We both have three jobs and no help with paying for our wedding. We aren't asking for handouts. I saw an idea that i thought was neat and i asked what people thought of it. I didn't ask for everyone to assume that i am some over privileged princess because i thought it might be nice to be able to go on a honeymoon. Please forgive me for wanting to take a nice trip with my soon to be husband. I understand the concept of telling me my idea is a bad one, but please stop assuming that I think i am better than everyone else. There is a such thing as constructive criticism, and then there is a such thing as being rude. I thought the people on here would be grown up enough to know the difference....
Anyone who does this kind of thing is absolutely horrible and sheisty.
Wait--maybe off-topic--but how is it rude to return unwanted gifts for cash? Doesn't everyone do that? Or is the problem to intentionally register for shit you don't want just to get the cash? I didn't get the impression the OP was going to do that. Maybe I read that differently.
Re: good grief
Being casual or laid back does not mean that etiquette stops applying. I hardly think you'll find a backyard wedding with a "pull the groom's finger" portion of the night.
Achievement Unlocked: Survived Your Wedding!
Yeah, etiquette is the same for any type of event. It has nothing to do with making your wedding YOURS and everything to do with making your guests comfortable.
Take the open bar issue, for instance. Etiquette states that whatever is offered to guests must be offered at no charge. So while my friend that had a black tie wedding had glorious top-shelf mixed drinks served out of ice sculptures and I had keg beer and cheap wine, all these items were paid for by us. So although our offerings were different, we were both within the rules of etiquette as none of our guests opened their wallets.
Those ice sculptures though...WOW.
OP Basic etiquette doesn't change. Some things will always be tacky/rude regardless of the formality of the event. I.E. you should never ask for money. You should have a seat for every butt, you should eat the same level of food as your guests, your guests shouldn't open their wallets all night.
Everyone's wedding is made unique by the things that aren't etiquette dependent. i.e. flower choices, dress colors/types, decor, favors, the fact that it is your freaking wedding!!!!!
And FWIW, someone gifted is their airline miles as a wedding gift and someone paid for our hotel, without us asking.
Who's the one assuming? I never said you were going to cancun.
To the bolded respectively:
1. And, your point is? Lots of couples receive NO help for their weddings.
2. Ok, since you asked so nicely,I'll forgive you for that, just pay for the honeymoon yourself, don't expect others to.
Can we please make this happen?
I'm the fuck out.