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Wedding 911

Bridesmaid with Hot Pink Hair

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Re: Bridesmaid with Hot Pink Hair

  • I had this very same issue, and I do believe the bride should dictate - to a degree of course. It is YOUR day, not theirs. My bridesmaid had blue hair (my wedding is in December) and I simply asked what colour it would be for the wedding. She said either red (more auburn really) or brown. And I just simply asked if she wouldn't mind not being blue for the wedding. Since I was polite about it, she was completely okay with it. She didn't get offended or anything, just said she like changing her hair. It is currently platinum blonde so I can handle that.
    Just ask her nicely if she wouldn't mind doing temporary dye for the wedding to a more neutral colour. If she loves you - and she does if she's in your wedding - she shouldn't fight you on it:)

    Crappy friends make you look good.
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  • I'm guessing this thread was in the newsletter?

    It was on the main page. Not sure if it was in the newsletter, I didn't see it.


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  • amelishaamelisha Canadian Texas member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    mlt0618 said:

    I was my best friends maid of honor this year. At the time we fitted for dresses I had hot pink hair. By time we were taking the dresses home my hair was jade. And honestly it didn't take away from the traditional style of the wedding. So if you love her just let her be her :)

    Uuuugggghhhhh, when I grow up I want to be you. You are freaking gorgeous.

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  • slothiegalslothiegal The Sloth Farm member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    mlt0618 said:
    I was my best friends maid of honor this year. At the time we fitted for dresses I had hot pink hair. By time we were taking the dresses home my hair was jade. And honestly it didn't take away from the traditional style of the wedding. So if you love her just let her be her :)
    I am madly in love with your hair.  You arefreakin' GORGEOUS.
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    beethery
  • flantasticflantastic The Midwest member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    "Since I was polite about it, she was okay with it."


    Stop. The. Madness. You mean all I have to do is be nice and you won't take offense to anything I say? Even if you should?

    I think that you should never post advice on this board ever again. I mean, you seem like a nice girl, but you gave the worst advice ever on having someone change their hair. Please and thank you. Have a great day!
    Threadjack-ish... today FMIL asked me if I could get meal preferences for the rehearsal dinner for my aunts and uncles who wanted to come. They had graciously B-listed them after we asked about the guest list and discovered that all FI's aunts and uncles were invited but not mine.

    I tried to be nice and made it out to be about the overcomplexity of finding out who's coming, then sending invites, then having them RSVP quickly, so I suppose I could get all the info informally.

    She writes back, "Yeah, and I don't have any actual invites left! :)"

    I almost lost it. Yes, remind me about how you initially budgeted RD invites for your siblings but not my parents' siblings. The smiley face makes it all okay.
  • ViczaesarViczaesar Central Coast, CA member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    I read all six pages of this. Frankly, I'm sorry I did.

    The levels of shallow and stupid in this thread made me sick to my stomach. Not one of you girls- not one- who thinks it's okay to ask a friend to change their appearance- were raised decently. You are shallow, self important, mannerless and insensitive. I am actually sick to my stomach.

    Do any of you even begin to understand how repulsive your attitudes are? What terrible friends you are? You are the kinds of human beings that make me wonder what kind of world we live in. Your parents have failed. 

    This is a picture I love. This girl was my oldest son's girlfriend, at the time he died. I love her. She has stood by my side during MADD fundraisers, in courtrooms, during news interviews, when I spoke in front of state legislative committees. She never forgets to call me on his birthday, or on the terrible anniversary of his death (he was killed by a drunk driver) and always takes the time to reassure me that he mattered, and is remembered. She fights tirelessly for stronger drunk driving laws, is an animal rights activist, and an exceptionally fine roller derby player. (That's why the helmet.).

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     I wouldn't change one thing about her. Not for any fucking picture, not for any occasion. Not one piercing, not one tattoo, not one hair on her blinding pink/red/orange/ green whatever this week head.
    If you don't feel this way about your friends, you don't deserve to have any. 

    Wedding pictures are meant to be pictures of your wedding, and your friends, and your family. A memory of what happened and who you were. Not staged posed creations where you alter your friends appearances to look like something you imagine "your day" should be. That is stupid and shallow, the behavior of a delusional, phony, flimsy excuse for a friend. You should feel shame, but I doubt you have the capacity.

    And just one more photo of a friend, because A: I love her muchly, and B: the message is appropriate, in the circumstances.

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    holyguacamole79[Deleted User]chibiyui
  • I was in a wedding where the bride required we do our hair a specific way. It honestly didn't bother me. It was not what I would have chosen but the pictures did turn out nice. It was her day. She will look at the pictures for the rest of her life, I probably won't. No, she didn't pay to get our hair done but she did pay for part of our dresses. A hairstyle the day of was a small sacrifice to make her happy seeing she was not bridezilla in any other way. Dyeing your hair for a wedding on the other hand is a whole different story... That is expensive and semi permanent.
  • raissyraisraissyrais London member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    @ohannabelle Well said. Them silly little self entitled girls. On that note people, I suggest we abort mission, all those SS seem doomed to me. Blind and deaf I tell you! 
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    ohannabelle
  • @alliem07 Hi! Just read through these entire 6 pages, and here's my take. I don't think it's fair to ask your bridesmaid to change something 2 years out. In 2 years she may decide she hates colored hair, or you might decide it's a non-issue. Either way, you have plenty of time to sit on it. When the wedding day is closer, reassess. If the color still bothers you, look for hair styles that will look classically beautiful even on funky colored hair (like the picture of Katy Perry); then you still get your vision of classic/traditional, and she gets to keep her hair. When it all comes down to it, though, YOU are the one getting married, YOU are the one everybody is going to be looking at on that day, regardless of whether she's shaved her head and dyed the regrowth to look like leopard print. Just keep that in mind before you decide whether to ask her to do anything about her hair. If 3 months out from the wedding she still has bright hair and you've determined you absolutely can't handle it, THAT would be the time to say something. Not this far out.

     
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    [Deleted User]
  • If I'm a bridesmaid, I DARE the bride to tell me not to change my hair. I'd love to get creative with how to get back at that bitch.
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  • cdoenges said:

    @alliem07 Hi! Just read through these entire 6 pages, and here's my take. I don't think it's fair to ask your bridesmaid to change something 2 years out. In 2 years she may decide she hates colored hair, or you might decide it's a non-issue. Either way, you have plenty of time to sit on it. When the wedding day is closer, reassess. If the color still bothers you, look for hair styles that will look classically beautiful even on funky colored hair (like the picture of Katy Perry); then you still get your vision of classic/traditional, and she gets to keep her hair. When it all comes down to it, though, YOU are the one getting married, YOU are the one everybody is going to be looking at on that day, regardless of whether she's shaved her head and dyed the regrowth to look like leopard print. Just keep that in mind before you decide whether to ask her to do anything about her hair. If 3 months out from the wedding she still has bright hair and you've determined you absolutely can't handle it, THAT would be the time to say something. Not this far out.

     


    --
    No no no! It's not okay to dictate their hairstyle either.

    The bottom line is, you knew exactly what your friend was like before you asked him or her. I'm sure you had an inkling that they could ~~~ruin your photos~~~ with their Satanic hair or whatever shitty reason you have. Your only option is to not ask them to be a bridesmaid. But that still makes you rude as fuck and you're probably going to lose a friend that way.

    I can't believe this is such an issue. Let your friend be true to themselves. I dye my hair crazy colors, I have tattoos, and I like to wear bold makeup. My bridesmaids would be mad as hell if I forced them to all look like me.


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    lavenderfields13southernbelle0915[Deleted User][Deleted User]
  • I'll be honest, I started just skimming through the rest of the replies after a certain point. 

    First off congratulations on getting engaged!

    Take a minute & just enjoy this. My wedding was last weekend and I can tell you now that you'll face a decent amount of stress on your own & with your fiance, but it will all be worth it. That said, please don't make hair color one more detail to stress about right now. If you really are 2 years out, I have to agree with one PP who said you're picking too far out. Mind you, my girls knew about a year out, but if I had chosen 2 years out, I would have had a girl who I went from really close with to barely talking standing up with me. Relationships change. Situations change.

    I did ask one of my girl's not to get a facial piercing, mainly because the place she was going to get it at was known for infections. Not because I didn't think it would fit in with traditional look. She did go get a piercing, but surprised me the morning of by having left it at home, but honestly, I doubt anyone would have noticed.

    My sister, who is known for having different colors, showed up with a full head of bright pink hair. She got a few looks from some people & plenty of compliments. Nobody commented that her hair clashed with the colors & I didn't notice if it did or didn't. 

    I don't get some of the comparisons people were using. Hair color is a choice, losing a leg is not. Even still, if it stays as an important thing to you, keep your friend involved in your planning. Show her how important your traditional wedding is without right out asking her to change who she is. Honestly, if you love her as WHO she is now, you'll see her as WHO she is on that day. Regardless of hair color. With that said, can I tell you a little secret??

    You will be much to busy running around & talking to people to be worried about little details that may seem important now.

    Talk with your fiance.
    Pick your colors.
    Plan your wedding.
    Enjoy every moment you can.

    Good luck & congratulations!


    [Deleted User]rodigsorange
  • edited October 2014
    Awww I understand the no clashing thing for sure. I'm sure that you want your wedding to be nice, and it will be! Pink hair though? PINK!! Lol. Is there a possibility of maybe looking at it in the viewpoint that it adds character? Just trying to see this from a few different angles. For example, some of my bridesmaids have visible tattoos. I don't mind though. One of them is pregnant, and I think that's FABULOUS! And all of them have free reign over dress style, hairstyles and makeup, and jewelry too. Individuality is important to me and I want each and every one of them to shine in their own ways. Now I don't really know the style of your wedding but I'm sure that it will be lovely no matter what you decide. :)

    As far as not sounding like a bridezilla goes, even the nicest brides (not unlike myself) have their moments hehe. For me, it's only because I'm just like all brides out there in the aspect that I want our day to be special and as close to perfect as it can get. (Granted, no wedding is perfect and things happen that we'll probably laugh about later.) Sometimes we get so fixated on the tiniest little details, I can't help but think, are we really going to care about this later? No, probably not. I always try to reel that mini-bridezilla back in when I'm feeling over-stressed and try to look at it in a big picture kind of sense.

    For example, is it going to matter a year after the wedding that one of your bridesmaids had pink hair in the photos? I mean, is it really REALLY going to matter? If so, then by all means, casually ask her if she plans on changing it before the big day. I'm not sure if pink hair necessarily garners asking her to step down from the party....but hey! It's your decision. Best of luck and congrats! :)
  • esstee33esstee33 Pittsburgh member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer

    Awww I understand the no clashing thing for sure. I'm sure that you want your wedding to be nice, and it will be! Pink hair though? PINK!! Lol. Is there a possibility of maybe looking at it in the viewpoint that it adds character? Just trying to see this from a few different angles. For example, some of my bridesmaids have visible tattoos. I don't mind though. One of them is pregnant, and I think that's FABULOUS! And all of them have free reign over dress style, hairstyles and makeup, and jewelry too. Individuality is important to me and I want each and every one of them to shine in their own ways. Now I don't really know the style of your wedding but I'm sure that it will be lovely no matter what you decide. :)

    As far as not sounding like a bridezilla goes, even the nicest brides (not unlike myself) have their moments hehe. For me, it's only because I'm just like all brides out there in the aspect that I want our day to be special and as close to perfect as it can get. (Granted, no wedding is perfect and things happen that we'll probably laugh about later.) Sometimes we get so fixated on the tiniest little details, I can't help but think, are we really going to care about this later? No, probably not. I always try to reel that mini-bridezilla back in when I'm feeling over-stressed and try to look at it in a big picture kind of sense.

    For example, is it going to matter a year after the wedding that one of your bridesmaids had pink hair in the photos? I mean, is it really REALLY going to matter? If so, then by all means, casually ask her if she plans on changing it before the big day. I'm not sure if pink hair necessarily garners asking her to step down from the party....but hey! It's your decision. Best of luck and congrats! :)
    Oh sweet Jesus. 

    No. 

    Your friends are people, not props. Don't casually ask them shit. And there's literally almost nothing that warrants asking anyone to step down from the bridal party unless you actually want to end your friendship from that person. 

    Let it gooooooooooooo. If you don't want someone in your wedding party with pink hair, DON'T ASK THEM TO BE A BRIDESMAID. 
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    [Deleted User]doeydo
  • But if it were me, doll, I'd have to say that I wouldn't want to change any of my girls in any way. Loud colored hair will not be denied! Pink hair could say, outrageously fun and infectious personality! It's very diverse, the other ladies could play on showing their individuality with accessories or shoes ... these are all very good things. Besides, if it's worrying about her brightly colored coif that has you fearing that she might steal the spotlight, come on now. No one is going to upstage you on your wedding day! You're the one in white, remember? ;)

    One of my ladies decided on this vintage hairstyle with the rolls on top of the head in the front ... can't remember what that's called. Anyway, she could rock that hairstyle like nobody's business. It's awesome!!!! I would never consider it for my own hair because it's not really me. It is her though. Anyway, again. Best of luck to you in planning your wedding!! It's very exciting/insane!!! :D
  • esstee33esstee33 Pittsburgh member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    But if it were me, doll, I'd have to say that I wouldn't want to change any of my girls in any way. Loud colored hair will not be denied! Pink hair could say, outrageously fun and infectious personality! It's very diverse, the other ladies could play on showing their individuality with accessories or shoes ... these are all very good things. Besides, if it's worrying about her brightly colored coif that has you fearing that she might steal the spotlight, come on now. No one is going to upstage you on your wedding day! You're the one in white, remember? ;)

    One of my ladies decided on this vintage hairstyle with the rolls on top of the head in the front ... can't remember what that's called. Anyway, she could rock that hairstyle like nobody's business. It's awesome!!!! I would never consider it for my own hair because it's not really me. It is her though. Anyway, again. Best of luck to you in planning your wedding!! It's very exciting/insane!!! :D
    Victory rolls? 
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  • flantasticflantastic The Midwest member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited October 2014
    But if it were me, doll, I'd have to say that I wouldn't want to change any of my girls in any way. Loud colored hair will not be denied! Pink hair could say, outrageously fun and infectious personality! It's very diverse, the other ladies could play on showing their individuality with accessories or shoes ... these are all very good things. Besides, if it's worrying about her brightly colored coif that has you fearing that she might steal the spotlight, come on now. No one is going to upstage you on your wedding day! You're the one in white, remember? ;)

    One of my ladies decided on this vintage hairstyle with the rolls on top of the head in the front ... can't remember what that's called. Anyway, she could rock that hairstyle like nobody's business. It's awesome!!!! I would never consider it for my own hair because it's not really me. It is her though. Anyway, again. Best of luck to you in planning your wedding!! It's very exciting/insane!!! :D

    Doesn't matter whether you would or would not care about pink hair. The long and short is that everyone should care more about the person than about the color of the hair, so no "style of wedding" should ever warrant your terrible advice to maybe ask her to step down. I repeat, you don't ask people to step down. You just don't.

    ETA: Unless they have done something terrible to you to ruin your friendship. This friendship-ruining thing had better not be related to any expectations for the wedding.

    "Special and close to perfect" makes me want to vomit. It's the justification for all kinds of shitty behavior. The day does not the marriage make.

    esstee33hellohkb[Deleted User]doeydo
  • Oooooooookay! Pink hair is awesome.
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