Bridesmaid with Hot Pink Hair

[Deleted User] · October 2014

Yes, estee! Victory rolls!!! Thank you!!

KatieinBkln · October 2014

ohannabelle said:

I read all six pages of this. Frankly, I'm sorry I did.

The levels of shallow and stupid in this thread made me sick to my stomach. Not one of you girls- not one- who thinks it's okay to ask a friend to change their appearance- were raised decently. You are shallow, self important, mannerless and insensitive. I am actually sick to my stomach.

Do any of you even begin to understand how repulsive your attitudes are? What terrible friends you are? You are the kinds of human beings that make me wonder what kind of world we live in. Your parents have failed.

This is a picture I love. This girl was my oldest son's girlfriend, at the time he died. I love her. She has stood by my side during MADD fundraisers, in courtrooms, during news interviews, when I spoke in front of state legislative committees. She never forgets to call me on his birthday, or on the terrible anniversary of his death (he was killed by a drunk driver) and always takes the time to reassure me that he mattered, and is remembered. She fights tirelessly for stronger drunk driving laws, is an animal rights activist, and an exceptionally fine roller derby player. (That's why the helmet.).

I wouldn't change one thing about her. Not for any fucking picture, not for any occasion. Not one piercing, not one tattoo, not one hair on her blinding pink/red/orange/ green whatever this week head.
If you don't feel this way about your friends, you don't deserve to have any.

Wedding pictures are meant to be pictures of your wedding, and your friends, and your family. A memory of what happened and who you were. Not staged posed creations where you alter your friends appearances to look like something you imagine "your day" should be. That is stupid and shallow, the behavior of a delusional, phony, flimsy excuse for a friend. You should feel shame, but I doubt you have the capacity.

And just one more photo of a friend, because A: I love her muchly, and B: the message is appropriate, in the circumstances.

Everyone else shut the fuck up. Annabelle has SPOKEN, and those of use who are right can't add anything. Those of you who are wrong should feel completely rotten about yourselves. Because in case the above didn't make it clear, you're the worst, and you need to know about it.

ohannabelle · October 2014

I feel very warm and snuggly right now. Grazie, Katie.

ashalee02 · October 2014

Maybe I'm in the (extreme) minority here, but I'm letting my BM's do WHATEVER they want. They've gotten exactly three directions: long dresses (ceremony is outdoors in October), purple, and send the whole crew a picture. Hair? Don't care. Jewelry? Why bother? Tattoos? Do. Not. Care.

Your maids are PEOPLE, not things. You cannot dictate their lives for the next year (or TWO) because you think you're a pretty pretty princess and you think ONE day is more important than the people you surround yourself with. The women who have agreed to stand beside me at the altar are there because they are important. They are my sisters, confidants, cheerleaders, hand-holders, get drunk and have loud bathroom conversation-ers. They are my friends. I want them to feel as amazing as I know they are.

Bottom line, telling your friend you really don't like her the way she is is shitty. And don't be obtuse, that's exactly what you're doing.

hellohkb · October 2014

ashalee02 said:

Maybe I'm in the (extreme) minority here, but I'm letting my BM's do WHATEVER they want. They've gotten exactly three directions: long dresses (ceremony is outdoors in October), purple, and send the whole crew a picture. Hair? Don't care. Jewelry? Why bother? Tattoos? Do. Not. Care.

Your maids are PEOPLE, not things. You cannot dictate their lives for the next year (or TWO) because you think you're a pretty pretty princess and you think ONE day is more important than the people you surround yourself with. The women who have agreed to stand beside me at the altar are there because they are important. They are my sisters, confidants, cheerleaders, hand-holders, get drunk and have loud bathroom conversation-ers. They are my friends. I want them to feel as amazing as I know they are.

Bottom line, telling your friend you really don't like her the way she is is shitty. And don't be obtuse, that's exactly what you're doing.

Bless you. When I read your first sentence I was getting ready to facepalm and pearl clutch, but I'm not. Thanks for actually getting it.

[Deleted User] · October 2014

[Deleted User] · October 2014

Exactly!!!!! It's about marrying the person you love the most in the world. And I wouldn't change my girls for ANYTHING. They're my best friends in the entire world! They've been there for me through thick and thin and even put up with my occasional bride spazism when I get overwhelmed and stressed out. I've been there for them too. They know that whenever they need me, all they have to do is pick up the phone. And I tell them, "Write this down twice because I'm on my way." They're family to me, and I'm the luckiest girl in the world to have those beautiful women in my life. Each and every one of them is amazing inside and out just the way they are. So if one of them had every color of the rainbow in their hair, I wouldn't care. Nay. I would rejoice it because it's just another part of her incredible personality shining through for the world to see. And that's beautiful.

southernbelle0915 · October 2014

ShortMama234 said:

Exactly!!!!! It's about marrying the person you love the most in the world. And I wouldn't change my girls for ANYTHING. They're my best friends in the entire world! They've been there for me through thick and thin and even put up with my occasional bride spazism when I get overwhelmed and stressed out. I've been there for them too. They know that whenever they need me, all they have to do is pick up the phone. And I tell them, "Write this down twice because I'm on my way." They're family to me, and I'm the luckiest girl in the world to have those beautiful women in my life. Each and every one of them is amazing inside and out just the way they are. So if one of them had every color of the rainbow in their hair, I wouldn't care. Nay. I would rejoice it because it's just another part of her incredible personality shining through for the world to see. And that's beautiful.

Yet you said.....

ShortMama234 said:

Awww I understand the no clashing thing for sure. I'm sure that you want your wedding to be nice, and it will be! Pink hair though? PINK!! Lol...

...is it going to matter a year after the wedding that one of your bridesmaids had pink hair in the photos? I mean, is it really REALLY going to matter? If so, then by all means, casually ask her if she plans on changing it before the big day. I'm not sure if pink hair necessarily garners asking her to step down from the party....but hey! It's your decision. Best of luck and congrats!

PrincessOfHavoc · October 2014

Damn.

Getting married in 8 days. My MOH is hugely pregnant and has oh so very lime green hair. My pictures will be RUINED!

Wait. I have purple and teal streaks and dip dye. Never mind.

theycallmelinz · October 2014

After reading all 7 pages of this just now (thanks, insomnia), I have a few things to add:

-Why does someone's appearance have to RUIN your day? If your day consisted of a fashion show, sure, the people involved need to dress accordingly. If thats the case, hire models, as PPs have said.

-Assuming you're having a wedding and not a fashion show, you do realize that the most important aspect of YOUR day is that you're getting married, right? Literally all I care about when I think of my upcoming wedding is how happy I'm going to be seeing my FI's face as I'm coming down the aisle to marry the man that I love. At the end of the day I don't give a shit (Ahhh profanity!!) about the flowers, the music playing in the background, or the colors in my line of vision. Maybe I'm just lucky to have this outlook on things.

-I picture all these special snowflakes in 20 years being sad and lonely drinking wine alone to get through the evenings when their husbands are ignoring them because they're just too damn much to deal with. At least they'll be able to look longingly back at their wedding pictures where everyone looked just fabbbbulous!

-I can't say anything else that won't get me banned, other than I think you're all horrible, shallow people for asking the people you LOVE to change to fit your 'vision'. What a fucking heap of bullshit.

PrincessOfHavoc · October 2014

Also - I would worship anyone with any attire I find ugly and inappropriate if their appearance meant my mom could be there.

You can have pictures and memories with friends, pink hair or not.

I can't have anything with my mom, short of going to where we scattered her ashes.

I do not fucking care how someone looks at my wedding. I'm just thankful they will make it and hopefully they'll have a good time.

[Deleted User] · October 2014

I meant that FOR HER. Not for me because I know that I wouldn't care. As far as I go with MY bridesmaids, no I would not care in the slightest. I want them to come and have a good time. I know as well as anyone that we're all different people. Some people are offended by pink hair. Do I get it? Nope. But I respect how other people feel even if I don't agree with it. Honestly, if I asked someone, "Hey, you planning on changing your hair? Nope? Ok cool because I like it anyway. Just checking!" that would be the extent of it. And that's how that would go. If it meant that much to the requester of advice, she could casually ask. Might not like the answer though. That's all I'm saying really.

[Deleted User] · October 2014

Anyway, KatieinBkln said it right above on behalf of Annabelle. There's really nothing more that we can add to this because Annabelle pretty much said everything that needed to be said. Don't really feel like I could add to it and that I should even try to add to it so I'm done talking about it. You all have a wonderful day.

MelissaB543 · October 2014

Bottom Line: You should not ask your friend to change her appearance in any way, even though you're "the bride" and she agreed to be your bridesmaid. It is unreasonable.

I feel like excessive control over bridesmaids' hair, accessories, makeup, or any other element of appearance may have something to do with a bride's not wanting to be "upstaged" on her wedding day, even more so than uniformity in pictures. Asking a friend to dye her hair a different color for your wedding is excessive. If you have a problem with your friend's hair, if you are feeling that it will be the focus of group wedding photos, then you really need to ask yourself if that is going to cause more discomfort for you than possible friendship issues between you and this individual.

CatTy9293 · October 2014

I honestly don't get why women are so controlling when it comes to a wedding. My MOH has pink hair and it doesn't bother me one bit. All I've asked is that the dress is right above or below the knee and that it is red and the shoe color needs to be silver. Other than that, the style of the dress and shoes are totally up to them. How they wear their makeup and hair is up to them too. My wedding is very low budget, so all of my bridesmaids have to pay for their own things, and I'll be damned if I tell someone how much money they have to spend on something. I'm actually helping my MOH because she is in more of a financial bind than I. I want these women to feel as beautiful as I will on the wedding day and they can't do that if they aren't comfortable with how they look.

[Deleted User] · October 2014

I feel like some people are maybe being a little to harsh in their responses, though I agree with most of the points their making.
Don't worry about it.
If you're worried about being judged: People will understand that her hair color isn't a reflection of you. People will understand that she is her own person, and that it was her own decision to have pink hair. At no point in time will anyone look at you negatively because of one BMs hair color. I promise that all attention is going to be on you and your fiance. (:

Knottie44471172 · October 2014

I think the only thing you can do is accept whatever color she has going on ! Butttttt i say add some extensions to her hair on the wedding day to tone the bright color down and have it look more natural. Everyone wins in this situation. If you do an updo style and incorporate some extensions. She can take it out right after the wedding and everyone is happy. I don't see any conflict in that... after all you are the bride and it's nothing crazy.

beethery · October 2014

Knottie44471172 said:

I think the only thing you can do is accept whatever color she has going on ! Butttttt i say add some extensions to her hair on the wedding day to tone the bright color down and have it look more natural. Everyone wins in this situation. If you do an updo style and incorporate some extensions. She can take it out right after the wedding and everyone is happy. I don't see any conflict in that... after all you are the bride and it's nothing crazy.

You didn't read any of this at all. DON'T DO SHIT TO THEIR HAIRCOLOR OR STYLE. IT IS NOT YOUR TERRITORY TO FUCK WITH.

southernbelle0915 · October 2014

Knottie44471172 said:
I think the only thing you can do is accept whatever color she has going on ! Butttttt i say add some extensions to her hair on the wedding day to tone the bright color down and have it look more natural. Everyone wins in this situation. If you do an updo style and incorporate some extensions. She can take it out right after the wedding and everyone is happy. I don't see any conflict in that... after all you are the bride and it's nothing crazy.

Not only is that a terrible idea and would look like crap, but its 100% not the bride's call.

Knottie44471172 · October 2014

Opinions ... Everyone has one

beethery · October 2014

Knottie44471172 said:

Opinions ... Everyone has one

Your opinion was awful. Bye.

hellohkb · October 2014

austynnblairr said:

I feel like some people are maybe being a little to harsh in their responses, though I agree with most of the points their making.
Don't worry about it.
If you're worried about being judged: People will understand that her hair color isn't a reflection of you. People will understand that she is her own person, and that it was her own decision to have pink hair. At no point in time will anyone look at you negatively because of one BMs hair color. I promise that all attention is going to be on you and your fiance. (:

Sometimes you have to be harsh for the information to sink in. Tough love, etc.

ohannabelle · October 2014

Knottie44471172 said:

I think the only thing you can do is accept whatever color she has going on ! Butttttt i say add some extensions to her hair on the wedding day to tone the bright color down and have it look more natural. Everyone wins in this situation. If you do an updo style and incorporate some extensions. She can take it out right after the wedding and everyone is happy. I don't see any conflict in that... after all you are the bride and it's nothing crazy.

The bride may decorate the tables, and the chairs, and the walls, and the pews. She can go all Pinterest on any inanimate object that she wants to match her "vision."

Not other people's heads. Those are not objects, and do not belong to her. Getting married does not give you the right to alter another person's appearance.

So yes, that is crazy.

PrincessOfHavoc · October 2014

When my brother got engaged, I had hair I could sit on. SIL is my life long BFF, neither of us ever considered anyone else for our MOH.

When they got married, I had 3" or so pixie cut from massive heat damage from a concert.

Exactly no one gave a fuck about my hair. I wasn't the bride so it didn't matter.

Hire models for a perfect picture or grow the fuck up and love your friends exactly as they are.

@ohannabelle‌ - I think I've skated against your friend before. Small world! We were talking about my recently rescued pup, a Golden mix who was a puppy mill production factory. Anyone who loves derby and dogs is a friend in my book.

slothiegal · October 2014

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST WHY IS IT SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND YOU CAN NOT DICTATE SOMEONE'S (PARTICULARLY SOMEONE YOU CONSIDER A FRIEND) APPEARANCE FUUUUCK.

Knottie44471172 said:

I think the only thing you can do is accept whatever color she has going on ! Butttttt i say add some extensions to her hair on the wedding day to tone the bright color down and have it look more natural. Everyone wins in this situation. If you do an updo style and incorporate some extensions. She can take it out right after the wedding and everyone is happy. I don't see any conflict in that... after all you are the bride and it's nothing crazy.

WHAT??! NO. YOUR FRIEND DOES NOT WIN. YOU ARE STILL TELLING HER YOU DON'T LOVE HER ENOUGH THE WAY SHE IS TO BE IN YOUR DAY.

This goddamn thread will be the end of me.

Knottie44471172 · October 2014

Don't plan your wedding around the girls hair! I forgot to say that. I can honestly say there are sooo many other things that you will stress over for this wedding. Her hair is something that is so minuscule. And she can change her hair to neon green the day before the wedding and I'm sure you won't change all your colors the night before lol

And be very careful with how you approach her if you do since some people are easily offended.

Just remember that mentioning her hair may be a waste of breathe.

LondonLisa · October 2014

Knottie44471172 said:

Don't plan your wedding around the girls hair! I forgot to say that. I can honestly say there are sooo many other things that you will stress over for this wedding. Her hair is something that is so minuscule. And she can change her hair to neon green the day before the wedding and I'm sure you won't change all your colors the night before lol And be very careful with how you approach her if you do since some people are easily offended. Just remember that mentioning her hair may be a waste of breathe.

People will be easily offended because it is offensive! You don't get to dictate other people's hair! Why is this so hard?? NO extenstion, NO colour changes, NOTHING!

Here, I will spell out the conversation in high school play style since this is apparently a hard concept:

Bride: How would you like to wear your hair at the wedding?

BM: I don't know, I was thinking up or maybe curly. Or else I was going to shave it all off and have a neon tie-dyed mohican. Or else I was going to tease and hair spray it upside down like Helen Hunt in "Girls Just Want to Have Fun"

Bride: Great! Whatever makes you comfortable and makes you feel great. You are one of the most important people in my life and you are always beautiful because you are you!

<<end scene>>

princessofgenovia · October 2014

This thing is 7 pages long and people still can't figure it out?

I'm in a wedding in a December. I just added lavender to my hair. I texted a pic to the bride to be. Her reaction? OMG so cute I wish I could color my hair at my job. Also I have chipotle coupons, wanna get lunch?

Somehow I am not going to ruin her traditional church wedding with my purple hair.

climbingsingle · October 2014

beethery said:

Knottie44471172 said:

I think the only thing you can do is accept whatever color she has going on ! Butttttt i say add some extensions to her hair on the wedding day to tone the bright color down and have it look more natural. Everyone wins in this situation. If you do an updo style and incorporate some extensions. She can take it out right after the wedding and everyone is happy. I don't see any conflict in that... after all you are the bride and it's nothing crazy.

You didn't read any of this at all. DON'T DO SHIT TO THEIR HAIRCOLOR OR STYLE. IT IS NOT YOUR TERRITORY TO FUCK WITH.

Beeth, I was seriously was hoping the rotating NO was in here. You always bring it, girl.

beethery · October 2014

ClimbingBrideNY said:

beethery said:

Knottie44471172 said:

I think the only thing you can do is accept whatever color she has going on ! Butttttt i say add some extensions to her hair on the wedding day to tone the bright color down and have it look more natural. Everyone wins in this situation. If you do an updo style and incorporate some extensions. She can take it out right after the wedding and everyone is happy. I don't see any conflict in that... after all you are the bride and it's nothing crazy.

You didn't read any of this at all. DON'T DO SHIT TO THEIR HAIRCOLOR OR STYLE. IT IS NOT YOUR TERRITORY TO FUCK WITH.

Beeth, I was seriously was hoping the rotating NO was in here. You always bring it, girl.

Whoever made that gif is a fucking champion. I need to learn 3D shit so I can make my own.

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