Wedding Party

My Matron of Honor refuses to get a babysitter for the wedding

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Re: My Matron of Honor refuses to get a babysitter for the wedding

  • Well, you could go the tough love route and tell her she's out unless she finds a babysitter (I'm sure her parents or her in laws would watch him if they're not coming to your wedding) or you trust that she's going to share the baby with her hubby and they can take turns watching him and being an active member of the bridal party. If you think your friendship would be over for sure if you went with the first option, then maybe you could ask her if it would be OK if she was a bridesmaid and the MOH title went to a different bridesmaid.
  • flantasticflantastic The Midwest member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited February 2015
    This thread made the newsletter.

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    Thanks for the warning. I'm looking forward to busting out my newsletter gif.


    Hi, So sorry you are getting so much hate on here. I just want to validate your concerns, you are not selfish and there is no need for the responses on here to be basically yelling at you. It's your wedding, I'm sure you were important part of your MOH's wedding and you want the same in return. My best friend is also my MOH and she is due one month before my wedding. Luckily her mother is going to travel and watch the baby at the hotel while my MOH is w/me for pictures, etc... I have told her to do whatever she needs, she will one of the last to get hair and makeup done and will likely pop in and out of the wedding/maybe leave early to take care of her little one. My advice, having not gone through it yet is try and be flexible. It's tough that your MOH can't find a relative to help handle the care that day but it's not something you can control. I completely validate your frustration, it's totally okay to be annoyed! Just keep it between yourself and your mom or someone you can vent to. You don't want to ruin your friendship. Congratulations and best wishes!!
    NO. There is no "hate." Only people pointing out selfishness.
    PrettyGirlLostashley8918novella1186[Deleted User]
  • I have a similar issue, although I am not even having a wedding party. My family is trying to bully me into changing my "no one under the age of 21" rule to allow my 2-year old nephew to attend the entire day. In my eyes, I have seen the kid at church screaming and I have no urge to have him serenade everyone during my vows. Also, I guess my situation is different because my nephew and sister live with my parents, so my mom is hawk-eyed over him and only him whenever he is around and cannot focus on anything else. She is having early withdrawal at the thought of him not being invited. So they are continuously barraging me to change my mind, even when I offered the compromise that yes he can sit through the ceremony but during the reception I would make sure there was a babysitter at the hotel so that he would be accommodated and the adults can enjoy the evening. Apparently this is Bridezilla at its worst. So let me know what all you bitties think of my situation.
  • These comments are so mean spirited :( if you don't have anything nice to say (or constructive advice) don't comment!
    heyyou1203c+j2015
  • I have a similar issue, although I am not even having a wedding party. My family is trying to bully me into changing my "no one under the age of 21" rule to allow my 2-year old nephew to attend the entire day. In my eyes, I have seen the kid at church screaming and I have no urge to have him serenade everyone during my vows. Also, I guess my situation is different because my nephew and sister live with my parents, so my mom is hawk-eyed over him and only him whenever he is around and cannot focus on anything else. She is having early withdrawal at the thought of him not being invited. So they are continuously barraging me to change my mind, even when I offered the compromise that yes he can sit through the ceremony but during the reception I would make sure there was a babysitter at the hotel so that he would be accommodated and the adults can enjoy the evening. Apparently this is Bridezilla at its worst. So let me know what all you bitties think of my situation.
    That's cute that you called the fine ladies on this board bitties.
    ohannabellehellohkbnovella1186
  • edited February 2015
    After reading some of the responses this poor bride got from all (by all I mean the majority of the respondents) of these "experienced" and oh so very "helpful" people, I am now terrified to post for help and or "advice" (as some people who are just insulting seem to think they are giving) for my own semi-similar not quite the same situation. c+j2015 I hope you find something that works for both you and the bridesmaid and wish you the best and a happy wedding!
    heyyou1203c+j2015
  • flantasticflantastic The Midwest member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    After reading some of the responses this poor bride got from all (by all I mean the majority of the respondents) of these "experienced" and oh so very "helpful" people, I am not terrified to post for help and or "advice" (as some people who are just insulting seem to think they are giving) for my own semi-similar not quite the same situation. c+j2015 I hope you find something that works for both you and the bridesmaid and wish you the best and a happy wedding!
    You don't need advice anyway. There's nothing to worry about. Your WP member is a parent who needs to take care of their child, and you are not the center of the universe, so everything will work out how it works out.
    PrettyGirlLostesstee33novella1186
  • mikenbergermikenberger In a f'n cornfield member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    Aye fucking Christ.

    I got up way too early for this bullshit.

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    ashley8918chibiyuinovella1186[Deleted User]
  • Her baby is important, and she obviously has attachment issues, so let her and her husband step down if they really want to. Just remind them that it's no big deal and that you understand their baby takes priority over their other responsibilities within their lives. Don't begrudge them their smothering parenting style if is so terrible and unthinkable to have a babysitter for less than half the day.
    heyyou1203
  • lovegood90lovegood90 Ontario member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    I have a similar issue, although I am not even having a wedding party. My family is trying to bully me into changing my "no one under the age of 21" rule to allow my 2-year old nephew to attend the entire day. In my eyes, I have seen the kid at church screaming and I have no urge to have him serenade everyone during my vows. Also, I guess my situation is different because my nephew and sister live with my parents, so my mom is hawk-eyed over him and only him whenever he is around and cannot focus on anything else. She is having early withdrawal at the thought of him not being invited. So they are continuously barraging me to change my mind, even when I offered the compromise that yes he can sit through the ceremony but during the reception I would make sure there was a babysitter at the hotel so that he would be accommodated and the adults can enjoy the evening. Apparently this is Bridezilla at its worst. So let me know what all you bitties think of my situation.
    Just keep standing your ground and don't invite the children to anything. It's not rude to not invite children to your event, but it would be rude to only invite them to part of the event (ie the ceremony only).

    Formerly martha1818

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    MossyRocks1619cupcait927
  • This thread made the newsletter.

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    My feelings on the SS posters showing up out of the woodwork:
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    Seriously people, read!
    PrettyGirlLostashley8918novella1186[Deleted User]
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    This thread made the newsletter.

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    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


    ashley8918
  • Having read all the comments.... HOLY CRAP there are a lot of bitches on this site! I mean, sides being un-even and having an extra BM dress really aren't things that one should worry about, fine, I'm with you there. But holy jumping to conclusions! I certainly would assume that ALL children aren't invited if the MOH's child isn't, I would NOT assume that the bride is being a controlling bitch and kicking out only 1 kid! It's as if you're deconstructing every word of the post to try and make her sound as horrible of a person as possible.

    As other posts on this site have discussed, it IS ok to have a kid-free wedding (although I'm sure the posters here did not take part in those conversations), and as others have said, you just have to be OK with people declining because of that. But if the MOH agreed to be the MOH at a kid-free wedding, then that's not the bride's fault.

    Parents these days (e.g. most of the posters here) have gone totally crazy. I've taken care of other people's children since I was 12, and even though you can now do online background checks for babysitters, people are just getting more paranoid. Maybe it's GOOD for your child to be exposed to different people! The horror!

    We're inviting kids to our wedding, but my sister is leaving her 5 month old with her mother-in-law for the day. Because she also wants to have fun and realizes that while my niece may be the most precious thing in her life, she's not to everyone else's. Is it really selfish to not want a baby screaming through your vows? I think it's more selfish to think that your baby being everywhere is more important than your friend exchanging lifelong vows with her partner in front of everyone they love and care for, and being able to do so in peace.

    OP, I'm glad that you've been able to come up with a compromise, and whatever you do, don't listen to the trash on here.
    MossyRocks1619c+j2015tiffanyessAstronautBarbie
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