Ceremony/reception time line question

mileybangerz · October 2015

btw, how old are you, OP?

climbingsingle · October 2015

Listen, we frequent all the boards. You would have been found out regardless of where you posted this.

Aschive · October 2015

mileybangerz said:

Aschive said:

I wasn't sure where to post this. I have a day of time line in mind and my fiance is trying to argue that is is dumb. So this is what I was thinking, we are just saying vows and the basic things for the ceremony and then pictures afterwards.

5 pm- ceremony

5:30- start pictures

6:30- guest start showing up mom and best man will start greeting them

7:00- entrance/thank you speech
It won't take you 15 minutes to enter. You also don't need to give a speech.
7:15-7:30- speeches/supper

8:30- first dance/traditional wedding activities/cake
9:00-12:00- dancing/saying good bye to guests

I haven't been to a typical wedding in a while and I am a little concerned I am underestimating this time line. Thank you for any input!

I thought it was the person who paid for most of the wedding to thank everyone for celebrating with the couple before food?

thisismynickname2 · October 2015

Ok, so, I think when OP said the guest list was a touchy subject, it was in regards to the fact that it was indeed decided, but perhaps the compromise was a little painful, so now they avoid talking about the finalized guest list, and that's how it's touchy.

I just talked myself in a circle but I think you know what I mean.

So, OP and her fiance have an appointment to sit down this weekend and work on the timeline and decide to get married at 1pm or 5pm.

Now knowing that your family is making and serving all the food...I can't think how your timeline would work without excluding your mothers from the events and pictures. Because they should be setting up, heating up, etc, which you know about as you know about food safety.

I just deleted what I tried to type because I cannot think of a reasonable timeline that involves anyone but caterers making safe food and still being involved in the wedding.

mileybangerz · October 2015

Aschive said:

Aschive said:

I wasn't sure where to post this. I have a day of time line in mind and my fiance is trying to argue that is is dumb. So this is what I was thinking, we are just saying vows and the basic things for the ceremony and then pictures afterwards.
5 pm- ceremony
5:30- start pictures
6:30- guest start showing up mom and best man will start greeting them
7:00- entrance/thank you speech It won't take you 15 minutes to enter. You also don't need to give a speech.
7:15-7:30- speeches/supper
8:30- first dance/traditional wedding activities/cake 9:00-12:00- dancing/saying good bye to guests I haven't been to a typical wedding in a while and I am a little concerned I am underestimating this time line. Thank you for any input!

I thought it was the person who paid for most of the wedding to thank everyone for celebrating with the couple before food?

The reception is your thank you. I've been to a wedding where the couple takes the mike and says "thanks everyone for being here!", but it does not require 15 minutes. 2 tops, and that includes physically walking in.

Aschive · October 2015

kimmiinthemitten said:

Aschive said:

I posted 2. I came to the Etiquette board because I had a question about a timeline because I couldn't think of about another board to put it under can you please tell me the better board for my original post? and then I posted one thing. I didn't care about that I already have my mind made up about those things. I just want ideas on my originap post about if that was a fair timeline or not. Regardless of the fact if that is what time we decide to get married at. The order of things is the real issue.

Do you think if you decide to cross post this in Ceremony and Vows or Reception Ideas you're going to get different feedback?

I said this to someone else yesterday: You just bought a new pair of jeans and you show them to a friend to see if they make your ass look big, except when you do you have lipstick on your teeth. Your friend points this out to you: are you going to yell at her "look at my jeans" or are you going to clean your teeth? We're trying to tell you that you have lipstick on your GD teeth!

ETF formatting

The etiquette thing didn't come up at first. I am not going to cross post it. That is stupid. But first off maybe, maybe not. Idk.

I am still not going to change my ideas just because I have lipstick on my teeth so to speak. So you can keep telling me all you want.

mileybangerz · October 2015

In all seriousness, OP ... you say you don't have a caterer, and your mom & FMIL are preparing the food. Who will serve it?

Aschive · October 2015

climbingwife said:
Listen, we frequent all the boards. You would have been found out regardless of where you posted this.

So? My post was about a timeline not a cash bar and making my own food.

redoryx · October 2015

Aschive said:

Listen, we frequent all the boards. You would have been found out regardless of where you posted this.
So? My post was about a timeline not a cash bar and making my own food.

Judging by what I can gather in your posting history, you're young enough to have pretty much been an internet native growing up. Which means you should be old enough to understand how posting on an open forum works.

Aschive · October 2015

redoryx said:

Aschive said:

climbingwife said:
Listen, we frequent all the boards. You would have been found out regardless of where you posted this.
So? My post was about a timeline not a cash bar and making my own food.

Judging by what I can gather in your posting history, you're young enough to have pretty much been an internet native growing up. Which means you should be old enough to understand how posting on an open forum works.

I did not grow up with Internet access. I know how it works, but still sidetracking is annoying when you really just need opinions on something you're not sure about. I know people want to voice their opinions, but it isn't going to make me re think my plan.

Aschive · October 2015

mileybangerz said:
In all seriousness, OP ... you say you don't have a caterer, and your mom & FMIL are preparing the food. Who will serve it?

Yes I understand the flaws. BTW what does age have to with it?

kimmiinthemitten · October 2015

Aschive said:

Aschive said:
I posted 2. I came to the Etiquette board because I had a question about a timeline because I couldn't think of about another board to put it under can you please tell me the better board for my original post? and then I posted one thing. I didn't care about that I already have my mind made up about those things. I just want ideas on my originap post about if that was a fair timeline or not. Regardless of the fact if that is what time we decide to get married at. The order of things is the real issue.

Do you think if you decide to cross post this in Ceremony and Vows or Reception Ideas you're going to get different feedback?

I said this to someone else yesterday: You just bought a new pair of jeans and you show them to a friend to see if they make your ass look big, except when you do you have lipstick on your teeth. Your friend points this out to you: are you going to yell at her "look at my jeans" or are you going to clean your teeth? We're trying to tell you that you have lipstick on your GD teeth!

ETF formatting

The etiquette thing didn't come up at first. I am not going to cross post it. That is stupid. But first off maybe, maybe not. Idk. I am still not going to change my ideas just because I have lipstick on my teeth so to speak. So you can keep telling me all you want. Etiquette came up in the first response when Lynda asked what your guests were doing from 5:30-6:30 but you were too busy:

.

Aschive · October 2015

thisismynickname said:
Ok, so, I think when OP said the guest list was a touchy subject, it was in regards to the fact that it was indeed decided, but perhaps the compromise was a little painful, so now they avoid talking about the finalized guest list, and that's how it's touchy.
I just talked myself in a circle but I think you know what I mean.

So, OP and her fiance have an appointment to sit down this weekend and work on the timeline and decide to get married at 1pm or 5pm.

Now knowing that your family is making and serving all the food...I can't think how your timeline would work without excluding your mothers from the events and pictures. Because they should be setting up, heating up, etc, which you know about as you know about food safety.

I just deleted what I tried to type because I cannot think of a reasonable timeline that involves anyone but caterers making safe food and still being involved in the wedding.

I am not quite sure what you are trying to say. As in whether it is just the facts you gather or if you are in fact "mocking me" so to say.

mileybangerz · October 2015

I also just thought of something else regarding your timeline (since that's the only thing you want to discuss).

You need to make time to deliberately greet your guests. You have 2 options: 1) Receiving line (this would likely not work since you may not have all your guests at the ceremony). 2) Table visits.

If you have 170 guests, that's 17 tables of 10 at each table. You'll want to spend at least 3 minutes at each table saying hello and making an effort to say hi to everyone. 3*17 = 51. So you'll need an hour to do table visits.

Considering that, you'll need more time for eating since it's best to go greet your guests while they are eating. I wouldn't wait until dancing time because it's harder to track people down and you don't quite know when people will leave.

mileybangerz · October 2015

@Aschive said:

In all seriousness, OP ... you say you don't have a caterer, and your mom & FMIL are preparing the food. Who will serve it?
Yes I understand the flaws. BTW what does age have to with it?

Um you didn't answer your question. Who will serve your food?

And I'm just curious how mature / immature you are.

Aschive · October 2015

kimmiinthemitten said:

Aschive said:

kimmiinthemitten said:

Aschive said:

I posted 2. I came to the Etiquette board because I had a question about a timeline because I couldn't think of about another board to put it under can you please tell me the better board for my original post? and then I posted one thing. I didn't care about that I already have my mind made up about those things. I just want ideas on my originap post about if that was a fair timeline or not. Regardless of the fact if that is what time we decide to get married at. The order of things is the real issue.

Do you think if you decide to cross post this in Ceremony and Vows or Reception Ideas you're going to get different feedback?

I said this to someone else yesterday: You just bought a new pair of jeans and you show them to a friend to see if they make your ass look big, except when you do you have lipstick on your teeth. Your friend points this out to you: are you going to yell at her "look at my jeans" or are you going to clean your teeth? We're trying to tell you that you have lipstick on your GD teeth!

ETF formatting

The etiquette thing didn't come up at first. I am not going to cross post it. That is stupid. But first off maybe, maybe not. Idk.

I am still not going to change my ideas just because I have lipstick on my teeth so to speak. So you can keep telling me all you want.

Etiquette came up in the first response when Lynda asked what your guests were doing from 5:30-6:30 but you were too busy:

.

Yes, because that is what is happening. I didn't ask if it was right or wrong.

PrettyGirlLost · October 2015

Aschive said:

First off. I know food safety, I have taken courses on it. So thanks for your concern. I will not be hiring a caterer no matter what. I am not re planning everything just because you have different ideas than me. I was asking about a timeline, not about the other details. I am concerned about what my guests think, but I also care about my budget and what I want. I run everything by my fiance before I make any final decisions. We agree on everything except the time to get married at. I don't really care that you all think of me as a spoiled little brat who doesn't have manners or wedding etiquette. I was just asking about what my wedding day timeline should look like. And before you say oh look she couldn't take the judgment. I can. Cause I am not going to change my ideas just because some people who don't know my family and how they act say I am wrong and my guests will hate me. The only thing I MIGHT reconsider is the caterer, but we will see.

I'm glad you are taking the criticism in stride.

How about letting his family attend the ceremony?

Aschive · October 2015

mileybangerz said:

@Aschive said:

mileybangerz said:
In all seriousness, OP ... you say you don't have a caterer, and your mom & FMIL are preparing the food. Who will serve it?
Yes I understand the flaws. BTW what does age have to with it?

Um you didn't answer your question. Who will serve your food?

And I'm just curious how mature / immature you are.

I guess you can pretty much guess since everyone else has there opinion. Idk who that's why I didn't answer it.

Aschive · October 2015

Aschive said:

mileybangerz said:

@Aschive said:

mileybangerz said:
In all seriousness, OP ... you say you don't have a caterer, and your mom & FMIL are preparing the food. Who will serve it?
Yes I understand the flaws. BTW what does age have to with it?

Um you didn't answer your question. Who will serve your food?

And I'm just curious how mature / immature you are.

I guess you can pretty much guess since everyone else has there opinion. Idk who that's why I didn't answer it.

But I am 23.

thespeshulestsnowflake · October 2015

I hate to get involved with this shitshow, but after perusing your previous posts, I really want to know. Is your FI the same guy as the BF in your posts for a few years ago?

mileybangerz · October 2015

Aschive said:

@Aschive said:

In all seriousness, OP ... you say you don't have a caterer, and your mom & FMIL are preparing the food. Who will serve it?
Yes I understand the flaws. BTW what does age have to with it?

Um you didn't answer your question. Who will serve your food?

And I'm just curious how mature / immature you are.
I guess you can pretty much guess since everyone else has there opinion. Idk who that's why I didn't answer it.

Okay, you'll need someone to serve your food. You can't just place it out there and expect a free for all. It sounds like a buffet is the most practical option considering your budget. You NEED to hire someone to do this. It doesn't have to be fancy or anything, but you need someone to store & serve the food (assuming you still go with the horrible idea of having your mom & FMIL prepare it).

This is something that will be a major part of your budget.

Heffalump · October 2015

Aschive said:

@Aschive said:

In all seriousness, OP ... you say you don't have a caterer, and your mom & FMIL are preparing the food. Who will serve it?
Yes I understand the flaws. BTW what does age have to with it?

Um you didn't answer your question. Who will serve your food?

And I'm just curious how mature / immature you are.
I guess you can pretty much guess since everyone else has there opinion. Idk who that's why I didn't answer it.

Well, then maybe before you worry about how long for entrances and toasts, think about how your guests will get their food. That is a bigger issue.

Aschive · October 2015

PrettyGirlLost said:

Aschive said:

First off. I know food safety, I have taken courses on it. So thanks for your concern. I will not be hiring a caterer no matter what. I am not re planning everything just because you have different ideas than me. I was asking about a timeline, not about the other details. I am concerned about what my guests think, but I also care about my budget and what I want. I run everything by my fiance before I make any final decisions. We agree on everything except the time to get married at. I don't really care that you all think of me as a spoiled little brat who doesn't have manners or wedding etiquette. I was just asking about what my wedding day timeline should look like. And before you say oh look she couldn't take the judgment. I can. Cause I am not going to change my ideas just because some people who don't know my family and how they act say I am wrong and my guests will hate me. The only thing I MIGHT reconsider is the caterer, but we will see.

I'm glad you are taking the criticism in stride.

How about letting his family attend the

His immediate family (aunts and uncles) is attending as is mine.

Aschive · October 2015

thespeshulestsnowflake said:
I hate to get involved with this shitshow, but after perusing your previous posts, I really want to know. Is your FI the same guy as the BF in your posts for a few years ago?

He is. We took a long look at what we both wanted out of the relationship and we took the steps together to get better in our relationship and ourselves.

pinkcow13 · October 2015

OP, I read through some of your previous posts and you seem like a nice person. You took some of the advice people gave you in the past, so I don't understand why you won't consider the things people are telling you here. Look, I'm a really easy going person. I have been to weddings and parties in which there are etiquette blunders and for the most part I shrug it off, but there are things that you don't forget. And people will talk. Maybe not to your face, but they will. Some will even get offended - do you want to risk that?

What I have seen several people do here is provide their budget, and with that budget others give them ideas. The ladies here are extremely good at coming up with tons of suggestions for every budget. Why don't you give that a try? I mean, if a bunch of people on this board is telling you that something is wrong, then chances are that it is. We're just trying to help you out here.

frenchiekin · October 2015

OP, when is your wedding? The timeline is something to be done a few months out, after the major details are confirmed. Compared to your food situation, the timeline is WAY lower on the priority list. You need to figure out how to transport the food to the venue, how to store it, how to heat/chill it, how to serve it at a safe temperature (so that your guests don't get food poisoning and so the food is actually still appetizing/edible by the time everyone eats), how to clear all of the tables afterwards, and decide WHO is going to do all of this. If it's your mom and FMIL, how are they supposed to also be at the ceremony?

Your entrance into the reception is so relatively insignificant to this. We are just trying to help you put this in perspective and think through the details you may not have already - but are actually critical to making the reception not be a shitshow.

ryanandjoe4 · October 2015

mileybangerz said:

Aschive said:

@Aschive said:

In all seriousness, OP ... you say you don't have a caterer, and your mom & FMIL are preparing the food. Who will serve it?
Yes I understand the flaws. BTW what does age have to with it?

Um you didn't answer your question. Who will serve your food?

And I'm just curious how mature / immature you are.
I guess you can pretty much guess since everyone else has there opinion. Idk who that's why I didn't answer it.

Okay, you'll need someone to serve your food. You can't just place it out there and expect a free for all. It sounds like a buffet is the most practical option considering your budget. You NEED to hire someone to do this. It doesn't have to be fancy or anything, but you need someone to store & serve the food (assuming you still go with the horrible idea of having your mom & FMIL prepare it).

This is something that will be a major part of your budget.

We had a buffet, but the cater was there to cook, set up, tear down, store, and clear plates way from tables. Also if your doing a buffet make sure you give about 20 minutes for 150 people to go through the line or to get food, since all you care about is your timeline, before you do toasts..

PrettyGirlLost · October 2015

Aschive said:

Aschive said:

First off. I know food safety, I have taken courses on it. So thanks for your concern. I will not be hiring a caterer no matter what. I am not re planning everything just because you have different ideas than me. I was asking about a timeline, not about the other details. I am concerned about what my guests think, but I also care about my budget and what I want. I run everything by my fiance before I make any final decisions. We agree on everything except the time to get married at. I don't really care that you all think of me as a spoiled little brat who doesn't have manners or wedding etiquette. I was just asking about what my wedding day timeline should look like. And before you say oh look she couldn't take the judgment. I can. Cause I am not going to change my ideas just because some people who don't know my family and how they act say I am wrong and my guests will hate me. The only thing I MIGHT reconsider is the caterer, but we will see.

I'm glad you are taking the criticism in stride.

How about letting his family attend the His immediate family (aunts and uncles) is attending as is mine.

Ok, but is it important to your FI that the rest of his family that is being invited to the reception attend the ceremony as well?

Aschive · October 2015

pinkcow13 said:

OP, I read through some of your previous posts and you seem like a nice person. You took some of the advice people gave you in the past, so I don't understand why you won't consider the things people are telling you here. Look, I'm a really easy going person. I have been to weddings and parties in which there are etiquette blunders and for the most part I shrug it off, but there are things that you don't forget. And people will talk. Maybe not to your face, but they will. Some will even get offended - do you want to risk that?

What I have seen several people do here is provide their budget, and with that budget others give them ideas. The ladies here are extremely good at coming up with tons of suggestions for every budget. Why don't you give that a try? I mean, if a bunch of people on this board is telling you that something is wrong, then chances are that it is. We're just trying to help you out here.

While that is good advice, I am not budging on the cash bar, and that what everyone is most critical about. Everyone we know doesnt expect an open bar, they know us as a couple and if they want to talk about all the stuff that is wrong, then they aren't really being supportive, in my mind. That being said, I am willing to look over a few things again.

Aschive · October 2015

PrettyGirlLost said:

Aschive said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

Aschive said:

First off. I know food safety, I have taken courses on it. So thanks for your concern. I will not be hiring a caterer no matter what. I am not re planning everything just because you have different ideas than me. I was asking about a timeline, not about the other details. I am concerned about what my guests think, but I also care about my budget and what I want. I run everything by my fiance before I make any final decisions. We agree on everything except the time to get married at. I don't really care that you all think of me as a spoiled little brat who doesn't have manners or wedding etiquette. I was just asking about what my wedding day timeline should look like. And before you say oh look she couldn't take the judgment. I can. Cause I am not going to change my ideas just because some people who don't know my family and how they act say I am wrong and my guests will hate me. The only thing I MIGHT reconsider is the caterer, but we will see.

I'm glad you are taking the criticism in stride.

How about letting his family attend the

His immediate family (aunts and uncles) is attending as is mine.

Ok, but is it important to your FI that the rest of his family that is being invited to the reception attend the ceremony as well?

I don't know I asked. What we have planned is what he agreed on.

Ceremony/reception time line question

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