Ceremony/reception time line question

missa011 · October 2015

I agree w/ PPs that your dress will get a lot dirtier at a bar than at a reception hall; that said, though, I don't think it would be horrible of you to wear your dress if you wanted to. You only get to wear it once and if you feel beautiful and love it then go for it.

pinkcow13 · October 2015

I wore mine to the after party. It's the most expensive dress I have ever bought, and one that I will not wear much again (I plan on wearing it with my bestie over beers like in Friends at some point). I wore the hell out of the dress that night!

ryanandjoe4 · October 2015

pinkcow13 said:

I wore mine to the after party. It's the most expensive dress I have ever bought, and one that I will not wear much again (I plan on wearing it with my bestie over beers like in Friends at some point). I wore the hell out of the dress that night!

I may have to do this..

missa011 · October 2015

@pinkcow13 YES. My friends and I are planning a photoshoot in our gowns once we're all married and then copious beers. Love it

pinkcow13 · October 2015

missa011 said:

@pinkcow13 YES. My friends and I are planning a photoshoot in our gowns once we're all married and then copious beers. Love it

Oh, that sounds fun!! Maybe I'll have H take a couple of pics of us when we do this.

Aschive · October 2015

mileybangerz said:
OP, I know you said you have the venue all weekend. What about other vendors? Is your officiant available at different times? Do you have any musicians?

I am not sure about the officiant but there really isn't any other vendors that we had. Beside the venue.

mileybangerz · October 2015

Aschive said:

mileybangerz said:
OP, I know you said you have the venue all weekend. What about other vendors? Is your officiant available at different times? Do you have any musicians?
I am not sure about the officiant but there really isn't any other vendors that we had. Beside the venue.

Be sure to check with your officiant before making any timing decisions

pinkcow13 · October 2015

mileybangerz said:

Aschive said:

mileybangerz said:
OP, I know you said you have the venue all weekend. What about other vendors? Is your officiant available at different times? Do you have any musicians?
I am not sure about the officiant but there really isn't any other vendors that we had. Beside the venue.
Be sure to check with your officiant before making any timing decisions

Yea, this is the most important person besides you guys!

FiancB · October 2015

Moms making food for 170 people made me think of

I went to a bar with a few people after the wedding- ended up just being me, H, my best friend, and another couple. We hitchhiked (turns out people are really nice about giving rides to strangers in wedding dresses, not that I recommend it). My dress got filthy but wtf am I going to wear it again for?

We didn't plan on having an after party, we did have an open bar but it closed at 11, and that ended up being one of my favorite parts of the day.

mollybarker11 · October 2015

Wowww this thread had my head spinning but I'm SO happy with the last turn it took!

@Aschive I think you will have MUCH less stress planning your wedding with this new plan. And it will definitely be a load of your mom and FMIL's backs! A dry reception with light refreshments will be a lot more relaxing for everyone and I think you'll have a beautiful afternoon wedding.

As for the after party attire: You could either follow @pinkcow13's route and wear the hell out of your wedding dress, keeping in mind it may get dirty/have booze spilled on it/whatever OR you could pick out an equally fabulous but cheaper white dress to celebrate in worry-free.

bb2016 · October 2015

Wear you're dress to the after party if you are okay with it getting dirty. In my fiancé's family it is expected that the bride and groom go out to party at a bar afterwards and all of the brides wore their dress. Like others have said, you really only get to wear it once.

SP29 · October 2015

I stopped reading a chunk of posts in the middle- so much to keep track of!

Great idea to do an afternoon reception and then after party later.

I was thinking about your original timeline, and I would think that during your proposed cocktail hour of 5:30-6:30 you'd need more than trail mix. Opening your bar right at dinner will create a lot of people up and about during dinner, which often reception venues do not like as people can potentially be in the way of the wait staff. It also made me wonder how your mom and MIL would manage to prepare, transport, store, then set up and serve a meal for 170 people (that is A LOT) AND still get ready, stand in for photos and attend your ceremony. That is a logistical nightmare.

There is nothing wrong with a dry reception, and nothing wrong with a shorter afternoon reception with apps only- as long as it isn't hosted over a meal time.

A ceremony at 1PM would work well with this. 2PM start for the reception to allow for travel. Host your reception from 2-4 PM. Cheese and crackers, fruit and veggie trays, and trail mix are perfect for this. You could do prepare appetizers if you want (I would have this catered if you do), but it is also easy to pick up pre-made trays from a large grocery store that can be kept in a fridge and then literally pulled out and sat on a table. Have a few beverages available (doesn't have to be alcohol) and serve your cake- lovely!

As for photos- you could do a first look if you like. Or, if you wanted to do photos after, because an afternoon reception is relatively short, you could do a photo session with your family and new husband after your reception. However, this will increase the amount of time you need a photographer for (as you would be paying for one from say 12- photos with any WP you have- until 5- when you'd wrap up photos with FH). You could spend some time doing photos with your FH and family after the ceremony, but I would keep this VERY short (like half an hour) and do it at either the ceremony or reception site- or else you'll miss your reception, and you should be there to thank your guests for coming.

As for an after party- this is spread by word of mouth. You could let your respective parents know and let them pass the word along, or start letting some friends know. I think you could do this before your wedding day, but I would not do it until a few days before, as this is a plan that could easily change. Depending on the response you get, you could call bar and ask to reserve some tables (this shouldn't cost you anything). If it isn't a lot of people, just show up.

It's up to you if you want to wear your dress out again. It wouldn't be wrong- just a personal choice on how comfortable you feel wearing your dress around town and the possibility of it getting dirty.

Another option for you to consider is having your ceremony at 1PM and serving a sit down lunch reception, if you are still interested in that aspect of a wedding. I would still HIGHLY suggest this be catered, as it will still be a logistical nightmare for your mother and MIL, but lunch can be a cheaper meal (soup/salad and sandwich, or soup/salad and a smaller "dinner" item like a lasagna). If you start this right after your ceremony (plus travel time, of course) you wouldn't need a cocktail hour-unless you plan to do photos in there. You could also keep this dry, or host beer/wine (since your reception is only 2-3 hours long, you would not be hosting alcohol for a long period of time, thus assumed less drinking).

There is nothing wrong with having a truly intimate wedding with larger reception, however as you have seen, lots of people are against it, because the ceremony IS your wedding, and that's what people like to see. If it's important to your FI to have his family witness your ceremony, I hope you will reconsider.

And the other option for saving yourself money while increasing your ability to host your guests well, is to cut your guest list. 170 people is a large wedding. If 170 people are very important to you, then of course they should be there and you make your budget work, but if there are people you are inviting because you think you should or have to, reconsider that.

spockforprez · October 2015

Jaysus this thread! When I saw 9 pages I assumed it was a zombie.

OP, for the afternoon refreshments, since you are on a very limited budget, consider grocery store catering. Walmart has platters of everything from chicken tenders and sandwiches to fruit and veggies. You could do a mashed potato bar (my fave), soups and salad, etc. Check out Costco, too. Lots of cheap options for afternoon food. You can have them set out in a nice display rather than on the plastic platters they come on. Sandwiches are usually stackable and look nice on cupcake stands, for example.

I absolutely 10000% would wear my dress to the bar. Maybe I am a super duper AW but I find myself daydreaming, searching for an excuse to go somewhere with FH late at night after our evening backyard wedding just so I can wear my dress in public. So far my only practical ideas are the 24-hour Walmart or Denny's, and neither of those sounds appealing.

Totally joking but hey, then again, maybe I'll need a bandaid or a $4 t-shirt or a pg test or a gallon of milk at midnight the day of my wedding!

OliveOilsMom · October 2015

OP - Since you have come around to having the afternoon wedding, this is what I suggest.

If having a first look, have ALL possible pictures done before the wedding. Then a 1 PM ceremony, 1:30 - reception starts, having cake, punch, trail mix, fruit tray/salad, veggie tray.

If no first look, have as many pictures done before hand: you and your BP, your FI and his WP, you and your family, FI and his family. Then 1 PM ceremony, 1:30 your guests go to your reception area and have fruit tray/salad, veggie tray, trail mix, etc (and whatever beverage choices) available to your guests. 1:30 to 2:00 you and your now H will get all remaining pictures completed. Around 2:00 you join all of your guests, have first dance and go over to cut your cake afterwards. Then have your cake served to everyone and add in any other desserts you may offer at this time. Reception would end around 4-4:30.

Maybe go to a nice dinner with just you and H from 5-7, then around 7 you would go to your after party spot. Any guests who want to, will join you then. I would spread through word of mouth the after party. Tell each family gossip on both sides about it, so everyone will know about it. And wear your dress that whole time!

Ceremony/reception time line question

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