Wedding Etiquette Forum

Bridesmaids financial responsibilities

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Re: Bridesmaids financial responsibilities

  • I spoke to a couple of the bridesmaids and the "bouquet party" was ok, but the refused to show me their finished product. After seeing the brides, they really did get taken for a ride. I hope they said something and got a $70 refund.

  • woodtdm said:
    I spoke to a couple of the bridesmaids and the "bouquet party" was ok, but the refused to show me their finished product. After seeing the brides, they really did get taken for a ride. I hope they said something and got a $70 refund.

    And what are the odds that the amount of money she extorted from those women paid for the bride's bouquet.
  • woodtdm said:
    I spoke to a couple of the bridesmaids and the "bouquet party" was ok, but the refused to show me their finished product. After seeing the brides, they really did get taken for a ride. I hope they said something and got a $70 refund.

    They could have bought them already made for that amount of money.  Not that they should  be paying at all:(
  • This is the brides. How do calculate $100 per bouquet.

  • woodtdm said:

    This is the brides. How do calculate $100 per bouquet.

    No no no no no, that is not worth anything near $100 and I'm guessing the bridesmaids are smaller? This woman isn't going to have anyone in her life after this wedding.
  • ooooof, that thing does not look nice. i don't get this trend at all, and this one is particularly ugly.
  • woodtdm said:

    This is the brides. How do calculate $100 per bouquet.

    My inner florist is gagging.

  • I was expecting so much more :( She was going on and on about the brooches she bought and how blingy all the bouquets are going to be.

  • So this is what I envision when I see the term "brooch bouquet":

    Image result for brooch bouquets

    What your cousin did, not so much. I think her BMs need to stage a revolt. 
    THAT is a brooch bouquet. It's supposed to be a bouquet of brooches, right? I thought the whole idea was it would be in lieu of flowers...not as part of a floral arrangement (fake or real...)


  • woodtdm said:
    This is the pic I sent her and she hit the roof, so I pulled back and said nothing. I'm not in the wedding party anymore so my hands are wiped clean.
    See, that's GORGEOUS!  If I could have afforded that, I would have bought one! I can't believe each BM's bouquet cost $70 or whatever, b/c her bridal bouquet looks like something you could patch together for $20 (the one she made, not the beautiful one above).  No way they'll be able to get their money back if they try reselling those.  :(
  • That's their keepsake :(

  • I let BF read this post, he is now looking forward to the updates.

  • I have been comparing wedding jewelry as a "gift" to gifting BMs their bouquet for a while. I didn't think anyone actually did that!

    Please keep the updates coming.
  • I have been comparing wedding jewelry as a "gift" to gifting BMs their bouquet for a while. I didn't think anyone actually did that!

    Please keep the updates coming.
    Except in neither case is it a gift at all since the BM's funded their own bouquet, and most probably the brides as well. 
  • adk19 said:
    Well, in that case Goodwill is going to remember this bride's wedding forever!
    I think they'd take the brooches off and pitch the rest...
  • MobKaz said:
    Except in neither case is it a gift at all since the BM's funded their own bouquet, and most probably the brides as well. 
    Right, that was the point.
  • The bride did actually find some sort of bracelet item at Michaels when she was picking up some of the supplies for the bouquets. Apparently it has their initial on it and she was so lucky because they were all on clearance. She also told me that she had already picked mine up by the time I bowed out of the wedding party, but I can still have it. LOL!!
  • woodtdm said:
    The bride did actually find some sort of bracelet item at Michaels when she was picking up some of the supplies for the bouquets. Apparently it has their initial on it and she was so lucky because they were all on clearance. She also told me that she had already picked mine up by the time I bowed out of the wedding party, but I can still have it. LOL!!
    Because nothing says "I love you and you mean so much to me" like a 99 cent charm bracelet.  I wonder if she'll remember to take off the clearance tags before she hands them out?  Man, I really went the wrong route with my bridesmaid, getting her something heartfelt and personal! (sarcasm font)
  • missfrodo said:
    Because nothing says "I love you and you mean so much to me" like a 99 cent charm bracelet.  I wonder if she'll remember to take off the clearance tags before she hands them out?  Man, I really went the wrong route with my bridesmaid, getting her something heartfelt and personal! (sarcasm font)
     I'm sure these bracelets are meant to be worn on the day of the wedding.  I hope those BM's of hers show their sincere appreciation for such a considerate gift.  Can you imagine how rude it would be for those BM's to have their skin turn a color that clashes with those gorgeous brooch bouquets??

  • @PolskaBlondynka, You're almost on the right track here, but you shouldn't dictate accessories for your bridal party. Let them accessorize how they want. If you do give them jewelry that they have to wear at the wedding, then it's not a gift, so don't present it as such. In that case it would be part of the "uniform" and not a gift. 

    I'm planning on giving them their accessories on top of individual gifts. For example, one bridesmaid loves Anthropologie and is super boho while the other loves Kate Spade. 
  • woodtdm said:
    Her gallbladder surgery has been completed. YAY!! Now all her social media posts are about the anesthesia used and how it took a lot longer for her body to dispel it from her body, and how it affected her endo, PCOS, and IBS. I really don't want to hear about how much she has to run to the bathroom because of explosive diarrhea, and how this can cause havoc for her wedding at the end of May. Speaking of...I should probably send the RSVP in by the deadline of March 31.
    Oh goodness, friends like that would have been hidden from my newsfeeds aaaaaages ago. Nobody wants to hear about IBS. 
    ________________________________


  • Sorry I'm a little late!

    I read your post and it reminded me of a wedding I was in a year ago. My bride was my boyfriend's sister and both Bride and MOB piled on the work. I ended up being the only one addressing shower invitations, was required to go to cosmetic parties and buy the products, go with the bride and MOB to pick up bridesmaid gifts, pay for shower gift handouts, help set up and clean it, and was told that it was my "job as a bridemaid." I got wonderful advice here to step down and decided not to.

    I should have listened, but I didn't.

    A year later and the trainwreck wedding is passed, the couple still can't stand each other (they pretty much ignored each other the whole day), but they have a newborn now. Since then I've been roped into painting the nursery, and doing tons of work at the baby shower (passing, and organizing gifts, and handing out food) because "it's not a wedding, but the bridesmaids are going to be helping with the baby shower." And all I've gotten was the return gift of none of my presents to them being good enough for their child, and the fact she chose my boyfriend to be the child's godfather (but not me as the godmother) being rubbed in my face by both her and the MOB constantly. 

    I'm so glad you got out! Don't feel bad about dropping out, you don't need to deal with that crap. Whatever backlash you can get won't be as bad as getting roped into doing more things for her, or dealing with whatever else would be coming your way.

    Keep us updated, this is getting good!
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