Etiquette

He wants a pre-nup, I feel horrible and insulted.

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Re: He wants a pre-nup, I feel horrible and insulted.

  • preloo said:
    preloo said:
    Boy OP, you really have a negative look on mistresses. I don't agree with what they do and I believe there are other ways to earn money but you are so wrong in your views. You constantly talk about how these women happily take "honest" men and change them and crap like that. 

    First off, it takes two to tango. Those "honest" men might not be so honest or why were they looking in the first place? 

    Second, like I said, I don't agree with what those women do, but it might be a lifestyle they have grown up with or it's the only way they can see to survive because no one will give them a chance or help or provided them with other options. Do you know how many kids don't go to college even now because they believe they won't be able to afford it and don't know about all of the opportunities that are out there for under-privileged children? Not everyone gets the chance to sit down with a guidance counselor, caring parent, teacher, or friend who will help them make good life choices. So please step down from that pedestal.

    You need to stop creating and imagining all of these problems and focus on the real issue. You either don't trust yourself or your husband in this relationship. I don't just mean he or you cheating, but possibly even emotionally. Like PPs said, take a step back from the wedding planning and have both couples and individual counseling. Because if you keep thinking this insane (yes, insane) way YOU are going to destroy this marriage before it even has a chance to take off.
    Are you confusing mistresses with prostitutes?  I'm talking about normal-ass morally void slutty women who just go ahead and date married men instead of single men because they love the attention and they have no sense of right/wrong.  My views on prostitutes are a little different.
    Mistresses are the same as prostitutes with the exception of length of time and security. I'm not confusing the two of them. I understand that you don't like these women but you need to understand that they aren't the only ones who make poor decisions.

    My sister attends an all women's school and she abhors the terms "slut", "bitch", "trash", etc. all directed towards women; extremely degrading words and phrases. I didn't understand at first but now I do. It's incredibly offensive because it brings down women everywhere when you generalize them like that. You have no idea where they are coming from, you have no idea what they have been through. Have you ever considered that these women actually may have just as many mental issues or more than you do? So many of these women don't just wake up one day and decide "I'm going to ruin a happy family." You've heard that term "daddy issues?" That's real. A lot of times a woman lacked that male presence when she was younger or she was abused - she continues to try and address that male presence even later in life, fill that void. People who are abused - most of the time people continue to act the way they do even after the situation has disappeared because that is all they know. It's the only attention they have ever received and it is the only way to once more fill the void.

    You keep calling these women names and have made some pretty poor generalizations about all men will eventually become cheaters. These are such hurtful and unhealthy thoughts. You would hate to have some random lady or man come on this forum and call you a "bitch" because they think you're crazy (also that was an example - not meant to mean you personally) so why are you so quick to just immediately call all of those women sluts who happily destroy marriages? What they do is not healthy, just like you thinking your FI will one day cheat on you, BUT what both you and them need is understanding. You will be able to find it in personal and couples counseling and it's great that you're being pro-active looking for it. These women need a bit more help than that. Some might not even feel they need it because they have been so mentally worn down. But calling them sluts, trashy, and other horrible names does not help.

    Honestly I don't know why I am typing all of this, but we as women have come so far and even now we are held back by such terms. If we are go-getters and want to be successful we are called "bitches, nags, etc." We want to stay at home and raise our children we are called "trash, lazy, ever heard of the term 'barefoot and pregnant?'" It's all so insulting and to hear another woman say such things on a public forum really bothers me. 

    Sorry for the rant, I really just wanted to explain myself, OP.
    I appreciate the rant, it's cool to hear your side of the story.  I don't see mistresses and prostitutes as the same because mistresses don't always get money or anything financial out of it- sometimes they're married themselves too!  

    As for sympathy toward them, it will never happen.  It takes a particular kind of shit-heeled person to break up a marriage knowingly, and I don't care what the hell happened in their childhood.  Hitler didn't get into art school, but we don't feel bad for him.  Bad things happened in my childhood, and I'm not blowing everyone's husbands because I know how to be a decent human being.  Unfortunately, many people are devoid of a moral center.

    As for calling them sluts, yeah, that's probably not a great thing to do in the name of feminism, and I can concede to that.  But honestly, they make me SO mad.  I wish there was a gender neutral word I could call them that also applied to the male version.  I know a man who slept with a married woman and I think he is such a hugely horrible person for it.
    Prostitute, mistresses, they all do something that is not healthy - especially mentally.

    No sympathy. They don't need sympathy, they need help. If you walked into your doctor's office tomorrow with some kind of problem (knock on wood), say you broke your arm (knock on wood). The last thing you want is sympathy. You want help in fixing that broken arm. That is what I am saying about these women.

    Also, there isn't going to be a gender neutral term if you constantly aim it towards women.

    And please stop letting what other people and their actions get in the way of your relationship with your fiance. Before my FI and I got engaged, eh maybe 2-3 years before, we were transferring from one school to another. He was so afraid I was going to leave him because he had heard so many stories of girlfriends and boyfriends leaving their SO's because the situation changed. Do you want to know what happened? He was so afraid he basically shut me out our first semester at this university. I was alone, I felt so heavy hearted and I would cry myself to sleep almost every night. I actually wanted to leave the school and give up my major ALL because of thoughts and stories my FI had heard. My FI realized what he did later on and that he had almost lost me because of it. He doesn't do that now, he knows to trust in our relationship. That is what you need to do. You need to stop dwelling on those "homewreckers" and all of the stories of women sleeping with married men and men cheating on their wives. You need to focus on your relationship with your FI and step away from the negativity and if you truly think your FI could possibly cheat on your in the future based on actions he has committed, I would follow PPs advice and really take a hard look at your relationship. 

    I believe if you follow PPs advice you'll be way more successful in your life, whether it is with your relationship or building up your self-confidence. 
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  • Everyone is saying things in a couple of sentences and getting their points across way faster. I'm starting to think I talk too much. Sorry OP :/
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  • preloo said:
    Well I'm marrying a guy who could do a lot better than me.  It's realistic to think that another woman could steal him down the road when I'm less physically attractive.  My parents are divorced so maybe this is just my childhood talking but I want security and I feel like a prenup takes that away.
    A pre-nup does not have that power. If a man/woman is going to leave, he is going to leave regardless of that piece of paper..and honestly? Wold you want him to STAY only with you just because he was afraid of losing money over it in the end because he had no pre-nup?

    nobody goes into marriage thinking it will end. Pre-nups don't change that. 

    I agree with others. Get counseling as this is a bigger issue.

    If you TRULY believed you will never break up, you'd sign it willingly as you would think it was nothing more than a useless piece of paper.

    doeydoDrewsgirl31
  • phira said:
    Either this is MUD or the OP needs therapy immediately. I'm thinking maybe MUD because, uh ... she hears it's awful being a single woman in your 30s?
    I  was thinking MUD as well, but you never know! The world is full of BSC people!

     








  • phira said:

    Either this is MUD or the OP needs therapy immediately. I'm thinking maybe MUD because, uh ... she hears it's awful being a single woman in your 30s?

    I  was thinking MUD as well, but you never know! The world is full of BSC people!

    Definitely MUD. Took a surprisingly long time to become obvious though. Kudos OP.

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  • Cookie PusherCookie Pusher Looking over your shoulder member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited February 2014
    preloo said:
    As for sympathy toward them, it will never happen.  It takes a particular kind of shit-heeled person to break up a marriage knowingly, and I don't care what the hell happened in their childhood.  Hitler didn't get into art school, but we don't feel bad for him.  Bad things happened in my childhood, and I'm not blowing everyone's husbands because I know how to be a decent human being.  Unfortunately, many people are devoid of a moral center.

    As for calling them sluts, yeah, that's probably not a great thing to do in the name of feminism, and I can concede to that.  But honestly, they make me SO mad.  I wish there was a gender neutral word I could call them that also applied to the male version.  I know a man who slept with a married woman and I think he is such a hugely horrible person for it.

    I kind of hate generalizations, so I just wanted to point out that it doesn't always happen like this. There are a lot of shitty married people out there who will say things like, "My marriage is all but over", "We don't love each other anymore, we're just together for the sake of our kids/business/whatever", "You make me feel like I've never felt before", "I will leave my spouse for you, just be patient", etc. to manipulate the person they are cheating with/attempting to cheat with. Sometimes, people don't set out to cheat, but due to their own insecurities/coercion/being lied to/whatever, end up being "the other woman/man". There are also people who are TAUGHT that this is acceptable behavior through the actions of their parents or other adults around them, and choose to accept it as "normal" (I'm not saying that it's right or wrong, just that it happens - our parents can really fuck us up). And yes, there are people with no moral centers who do this for shits & giggles.
    Everyone is saying things in a couple of sentences and getting their points across way faster. I'm starting to think I talk too much. Sorry OP :/
    I don't mind your long posts, they're really insightful!

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    doeydo
  • OP, I get what you are saying, and I feel the same way about a lot of people out there. We live in a fallen world and there are frankly a lot of asshat people who are very self-centered and only think of what makes them happy. Affairs are a result of that self-centeredness. With that said, NOT everyone is that way, my fi is wonderful and wouldn't think of hurting me in that way and I know he wouldn't cheat because he wants to be his best for me, and puts my needs ahead of his and I do the same. Also, believe it or not, when people cheat, sometimes they cheat with less attractive people. It's not just about looks, there's deeper stuff going on. My advice, is go to pre-marital counseling, have a heart to heart with him about these insecurities. He may feel the same about you believe it or not! Have you considered that maybe he might be worried that you are in the marriage for the money? How would that make you feel?

    I'd honestly be hurt! I imagine that he'd be deeply hurt if he knew that you assumed the worst of him that he'd just leave you the second "someone better" came around.

    Normally I don't like pre-nups either, but I think in a case like this where other people are at the mercy of how successful your marriage is, and your husband has investors. It would make sense to protect this sort of asset. If neither of you owned a business, then yes I would be offended and I wouldn't think a pre-nup is necessary.

    OP I wish you the best of luck! I honestly hope you will not become jaded to all of the world's negative influences. Trust yourself and your FI
  • HaileyDancingbearHaileyDancingbear Arkham Asylum member
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    @preloo see a professional about your anxiety.  You sound a bit like my MOH when she has panic attacks.  The subject matter is different, the two of you are anxious about different things, but the way you talk about our fears reminds me so much of how she talks about her own when she's panicking.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with having anxiety or panicking because of it, and while I understand you can't just snap out of it, you need to understand that these fears are irrational and need to be addressed in a safe space, with someone who can help.

    My MOH has gotten SO MUCH BETTER since she started seeing a professional about her anxiety.  She is also on a medication that seems to be working very well for her, she is all around a much happier person now than she was before she got help- Mental disorders are not unlike physical disorders, they don't just go away.  Just like you can't just snap out of having a broken arm, you can't just snap out of anxiety.  Just as you'd seek medical attention for a broken arm, you should seek help for your anxiety.  I promise that if you seek help, you will get to a much better place, mentally, than you are now.  
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  • HaileyDancingbearHaileyDancingbear Arkham Asylum member
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    phira said:
    Either this is MUD or the OP needs therapy immediately. I'm thinking maybe MUD because, uh ... she hears it's awful being a single woman in your 30s?
    I wouldn't be so sure, having known someone with the same anxiety disorder for years, I'd be lying if I didn't say the way OP sounds doesn't remind me of her a bit- this post sounds very similar to the panic attacks I've seen.  They jump to the absolute worst conclusion and run with it, no matter how irrational it begins to sound to everyone else, because in their mind, it must be true, why else would they feel so strongly about it?  

    While I do think this is real, I'll also note that if this is fake, it's awful.  Anxiety disorders are no joke.  I've seen this person go through hell and it's not something that's ok to fake.  
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    doeydoJCbride2015[Deleted User]KeptInStitches
  • I don't know why you think someone suggesting you seek therapy is an attack on your mental state.

    http://forums.theknot.com/discussion/995334/afraid-of-jinxing-my-engagement

    Talking to someone can help you with your insecurities and anxiety. It's obviously making your life not so awesome at times. It doesn't have to be that way. And going to therapy doesn't mean you're some crazy person with mental problems. It just means you want to address and work through some insecurities with someone who is qualified to help you. Nothing wrong with that.
    PrettyGirlLost
  • doeydodoeydo Southwestern Ontario member
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    Suggesting that you seek professional help was not an attack on you, I want to help you and I truly think that you need help.  There is nothing wrong with needing help.  I dislike the 'stigma' that getting mental health help has, I think most people would benefit from the help, actually.
    OP, I have anxiety and other issues, too. I see a therapist regularly and it has helped, however, the first counselling I went to didn't work because I wasn't ready and she was solely using cognitive therapy.  Now, I am seeing someone different who I like and she kind of uses a mix of the different therapy methods.  

    Also, to the PPs thinking this is MUD, it is quite possible that this is real.
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    PrettyGirlLostWeeshRebeccaB88
  • preloo said:

    As for sympathy toward them, it will never happen.  It takes a particular kind of shit-heeled person to break up a marriage knowingly, and I don't care what the hell happened in their childhood.  Hitler didn't get into art school, but we don't feel bad for him.  Bad things happened in my childhood, and I'm not blowing everyone's husbands because I know how to be a decent human being.  Unfortunately, many people are devoid of a moral center.

    As for calling them sluts, yeah, that's probably not a great thing to do in the name of feminism, and I can concede to that.  But honestly, they make me SO mad.  I wish there was a gender neutral word I could call them that also applied to the male version.  I know a man who slept with a married woman and I think he is such a hugely horrible person for it.



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    Holy mother of fuck. It is the fucking married person's responsibility to keep their vows not some random strangers.  That other girl doesn't give two flying shits about your marriage, nor should she. It is the married person's responsibility to uphold their vows, not random people's responsibility to enforce them. 

    It makes me extremely angry when the non-married woman gets blamed for a man cheating. She can't blow him if he doesn't take his pants off (or let her take his pants off). He is solely responsible for upholding his vows.  Now if she is married, then she is responsible for upholding her own vows, but really that is none of your business if you aren't married to her. 

    The exception to this, in my opinion, is if that girl is a close friend or relative. Then she deserves some anger for breaking your trust, but really your cheating husband deserves all of the blame for his own actions. We aren't in some big sisterhood. Now I consider myself a decent person and would never knowingly cause a guy to cheat, but knowingly or unknowingly it is not anyone else's responsibility to prevent cheating. That responsibility lies solely with your husband. (end rant).

    ETA: And for fucks sake, no other person can break your marriage, only the husband or wife can do that.
    To a certain degree, I get your point and agree, however I feel it extremely rude and disrespectful of single people to ENCOURAGE/or tempt a married person to become unfaithful. If you are unaware of their marital status, then it's clearly on the married person. I just think that it's very selfish to try to break up a marriage.
  • pinkshorts27pinkshorts27 Oregon member
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    Amyzen83 said:
    preloo said:

    As for sympathy toward them, it will never happen.  It takes a particular kind of shit-heeled person to break up a marriage knowingly, and I don't care what the hell happened in their childhood.  Hitler didn't get into art school, but we don't feel bad for him.  Bad things happened in my childhood, and I'm not blowing everyone's husbands because I know how to be a decent human being.  Unfortunately, many people are devoid of a moral center.

    As for calling them sluts, yeah, that's probably not a great thing to do in the name of feminism, and I can concede to that.  But honestly, they make me SO mad.  I wish there was a gender neutral word I could call them that also applied to the male version.  I know a man who slept with a married woman and I think he is such a hugely horrible person for it.



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    Holy mother of fuck. It is the fucking married person's responsibility to keep their vows not some random strangers.  That other girl doesn't give two flying shits about your marriage, nor should she. It is the married person's responsibility to uphold their vows, not random people's responsibility to enforce them. 

    It makes me extremely angry when the non-married woman gets blamed for a man cheating. She can't blow him if he doesn't take his pants off (or let her take his pants off). He is solely responsible for upholding his vows.  Now if she is married, then she is responsible for upholding her own vows, but really that is none of your business if you aren't married to her. 

    The exception to this, in my opinion, is if that girl is a close friend or relative. Then she deserves some anger for breaking your trust, but really your cheating husband deserves all of the blame for his own actions. We aren't in some big sisterhood. Now I consider myself a decent person and would never knowingly cause a guy to cheat, but knowingly or unknowingly it is not anyone else's responsibility to prevent cheating. That responsibility lies solely with your husband. (end rant).

    ETA: And for fucks sake, no other person can break your marriage, only the husband or wife can do that.
    To a certain degree, I get your point and agree, however I feel it extremely rude and disrespectful of single people to ENCOURAGE/or tempt a married person to become unfaithful. If you are unaware of their marital status, then it's clearly on the married person. I just think that it's very selfish to try to break up a marriage.
    Oh it certainly may be rude and disrespectful and underhanded and sneaky to try to tempt someone to cheat (male or female), but it still isn't their responsibility that your husband/wife/whatever decided to act on it. I may not like that girl as a person for the choices she is making, same as I wouldn't like someone who was constantly rude or abrasive, but I certainly wouldn't blame her the destruction of my marriage. That fault lies solely with the cheating husband.

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  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
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    laurynm84 said:
    I thought this was MUD earlier, but didn't want to insult the OP if it was real. But once she mentioned Hitler- Godwins law, you lose OP.

    image
    Huh?  Where?


    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • Amyzen83 said:
    preloo said:

    As for sympathy toward them, it will never happen.  It takes a particular kind of shit-heeled person to break up a marriage knowingly, and I don't care what the hell happened in their childhood.  Hitler didn't get into art school, but we don't feel bad for him.  Bad things happened in my childhood, and I'm not blowing everyone's husbands because I know how to be a decent human being.  Unfortunately, many people are devoid of a moral center.

    As for calling them sluts, yeah, that's probably not a great thing to do in the name of feminism, and I can concede to that.  But honestly, they make me SO mad.  I wish there was a gender neutral word I could call them that also applied to the male version.  I know a man who slept with a married woman and I think he is such a hugely horrible person for it.



    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


    Holy mother of fuck. It is the fucking married person's responsibility to keep their vows not some random strangers.  That other girl doesn't give two flying shits about your marriage, nor should she. It is the married person's responsibility to uphold their vows, not random people's responsibility to enforce them. 

    It makes me extremely angry when the non-married woman gets blamed for a man cheating. She can't blow him if he doesn't take his pants off (or let her take his pants off). He is solely responsible for upholding his vows.  Now if she is married, then she is responsible for upholding her own vows, but really that is none of your business if you aren't married to her. 

    The exception to this, in my opinion, is if that girl is a close friend or relative. Then she deserves some anger for breaking your trust, but really your cheating husband deserves all of the blame for his own actions. We aren't in some big sisterhood. Now I consider myself a decent person and would never knowingly cause a guy to cheat, but knowingly or unknowingly it is not anyone else's responsibility to prevent cheating. That responsibility lies solely with your husband. (end rant).

    ETA: And for fucks sake, no other person can break your marriage, only the husband or wife can do that.
    To a certain degree, I get your point and agree, however I feel it extremely rude and disrespectful of single people to ENCOURAGE/or tempt a married person to become unfaithful. If you are unaware of their marital status, then it's clearly on the married person. I just think that it's very selfish to try to break up a marriage.
    Oh it certainly may be rude and disrespectful and underhanded and sneaky to try to tempt someone to cheat (male or female), but it still isn't their responsibility that your husband/wife/whatever decided to act on it. I may not like that girl as a person for the choices she is making, same as I wouldn't like someone who was constantly rude or abrasive, but I certainly wouldn't blame her the destruction of my marriage. That fault lies solely with the cheating husband.
    Ok, I'll give you that one!

    The thing is if my husband cheated, he knows he puts his life at risk, because he knows what I'd do to him ... and her.
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  • sarahuflsarahufl New York member
    Tenth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    preloo said:
    I just used to live in NYC and honestly the stuff I saw wealthy men do made me really sick.  I want to think my fiance isn't like that, but I also didn't think all my friends' dads were like that.
    This is rude. And disgusting. Shame on you.
    image
  • phira said:
    Either this is MUD or the OP needs therapy immediately. I'm thinking maybe MUD because, uh ... she hears it's awful being a single woman in your 30s?
    I've actually been relatively calm even in the face of being called crazy, but what is MUD?  Is this yet another armchair psychologist diagnosis?  For the record I'm surprised nobody else here has heard being single in their 30s sucks...most of my friends are older than me and have a horrible time dating.
  • sarahufl said:
    preloo said:
    I just used to live in NYC and honestly the stuff I saw wealthy men do made me really sick.  I want to think my fiance isn't like that, but I also didn't think all my friends' dads were like that.
    This is rude. And disgusting. Shame on you.
    Really?  It's disgusting that I'm reporting on things I actually saw, and saying they made me upset?  You're right, I should have been more accepting of the men who left their wives of 30 years to marry Russian escorts.
    Amyzen83
  • doeydo said:
    Suggesting that you seek professional help was not an attack on you, I want to help you and I truly think that you need help.  There is nothing wrong with needing help.  I dislike the 'stigma' that getting mental health help has, I think most people would benefit from the help, actually.
    OP, I have anxiety and other issues, too. I see a therapist regularly and it has helped, however, the first counselling I went to didn't work because I wasn't ready and she was solely using cognitive therapy.  Now, I am seeing someone different who I like and she kind of uses a mix of the different therapy methods.  

    Also, to the PPs thinking this is MUD, it is quite possible that this is real.
    I didn't take what YOU said as an attack (at least I don't think so) and I do think I should be in therapy ideally, although honestly it's not a walk in the park finding a place (i got good advice here, which is cool).  My issue is that I was called naive/immature for saying I don't believe in divorce- I was told that "anything could happen" and I need to be open to the possibility that I will cheat or leave him someday.

    Then I say "Okay, maybe it's possible I'd kiss someone at a party or something, I don't know" and I get bombarded with "THIS is what' wrong with you!  THERAPYYYYYYYY!"

    like really?  Didn't I JUST hear that it was delusional and naive to think you'd never cheat or get divorced?  It's just really frustrating, honestly.  Everyone is so quick to play armchair psychologist (not directed at you personally)
    Amyzen83
  • missnc77 said:
    I don't know why you think someone suggesting you seek therapy is an attack on your mental state.

    http://forums.theknot.com/discussion/995334/afraid-of-jinxing-my-engagement

    Talking to someone can help you with your insecurities and anxiety. It's obviously making your life not so awesome at times. It doesn't have to be that way. And going to therapy doesn't mean you're some crazy person with mental problems. It just means you want to address and work through some insecurities with someone who is qualified to help you. Nothing wrong with that.
    Well, I don't think the therapy thing is an attack, but I feel like things I say are unnecessarily being picked apart by a bunch of people with (probably) no experience in psychology.  I can concede to the fact that therapy would be a good idea (I've only heard it 5 billion times) but my drunken party comment, I basically felt goaded into saying it because everyone told me I was naive to think I'd never cheat or divorce SO.  I felt like I was being backed into a corner and I really don't like that.
  • pinkshorts27pinkshorts27 Oregon member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Anniversary First Answer
    preloo said:
    phira said:
    Either this is MUD or the OP needs therapy immediately. I'm thinking maybe MUD because, uh ... she hears it's awful being a single woman in your 30s?
    I've actually been relatively calm even in the face of being called crazy, but what is MUD?  Is this yet another armchair psychologist diagnosis?  For the record I'm surprised nobody else here has heard being single in their 30s sucks...most of my friends are older than me and have a horrible time dating.
    MUD = Made Up Drama

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  • phira said:
    Either this is MUD or the OP needs therapy immediately. I'm thinking maybe MUD because, uh ... she hears it's awful being a single woman in your 30s?
    I wouldn't be so sure, having known someone with the same anxiety disorder for years, I'd be lying if I didn't say the way OP sounds doesn't remind me of her a bit- this post sounds very similar to the panic attacks I've seen.  They jump to the absolute worst conclusion and run with it, no matter how irrational it begins to sound to everyone else, because in their mind, it must be true, why else would they feel so strongly about it?  

    While I do think this is real, I'll also note that if this is fake, it's awful.  Anxiety disorders are no joke.  I've seen this person go through hell and it's not something that's ok to fake.  
    it's not fake, and I think it's really shameful that that's even a consideration.  I've dealt with anxiety for the vast majority of my life and I hate how I come across when I'm feeling that way, but what can you do.  
    Amyzen83
  • Amyzen83 said:
    OP, I get what you are saying, and I feel the same way about a lot of people out there. We live in a fallen world and there are frankly a lot of asshat people who are very self-centered and only think of what makes them happy. Affairs are a result of that self-centeredness. With that said, NOT everyone is that way, my fi is wonderful and wouldn't think of hurting me in that way and I know he wouldn't cheat because he wants to be his best for me, and puts my needs ahead of his and I do the same. Also, believe it or not, when people cheat, sometimes they cheat with less attractive people. It's not just about looks, there's deeper stuff going on. My advice, is go to pre-marital counseling, have a heart to heart with him about these insecurities. He may feel the same about you believe it or not! Have you considered that maybe he might be worried that you are in the marriage for the money? How would that make you feel?

    I'd honestly be hurt! I imagine that he'd be deeply hurt if he knew that you assumed the worst of him that he'd just leave you the second "someone better" came around.

    Normally I don't like pre-nups either, but I think in a case like this where other people are at the mercy of how successful your marriage is, and your husband has investors. It would make sense to protect this sort of asset. If neither of you owned a business, then yes I would be offended and I wouldn't think a pre-nup is necessary.

    OP I wish you the best of luck! I honestly hope you will not become jaded to all of the world's negative influences. Trust yourself and your FI
    Thanks, this is a really great post and good to hear.  I have a bad idea of all men and women and I'm not sure why, honestly, because even though my parents are divorced it wasn't because of cheating!  
    Amyzen83
  • laurynm84 said:
    I thought this was MUD earlier, but didn't want to insult the OP if it was real. But once she mentioned Hitler- Godwins law, you lose OP.

    image
    Actually, the point of Godwin's law is that any internet discussion will eventually mention Hitler (I realized I was doing it as i was typing, but I couldn't think of a better example).  It is by no means proof that someone is trolling.  
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