Wedding Etiquette Forum

What are your etiquette deal breakers?

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Re: What are your etiquette deal breakers?

  • APDSS22APDSS22 O-K-L-A-H-O-M-A is OK member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    I really can't understand these arguments:
    - I can't keep up with ever-changing etiquette rules!
    - XYZ isn't considered against etiquette where I'm from!
    - I'm in a special circumstance so etiquette doesn't apply to me!

    The whole entire point of etiquette is that it is timeless and universal. It applies to everyone at every time. It's an equalizer.

    I think a lot of people confuse etiquette-followers with rich snobs, but examples I've seen here (and I've only been here a few weeks) have shown that a properly hosted backyard bbq in a trailer park decorated with plastic flamingos would be considered much nicer and more enjoyable than an ~elegant~ wedding in a beautiful ballroom where the hosts didn't give a shit about your comfort.
    At least someone gets it.  And a trailer park theme would be more appropriate than some I've seen on Pinterest o.O that place is sometimes a little scary.
    Simply FatedPrettyGirlLost
  • KGold80KGold80 member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Name Dropper
    I'm still not sure how couples who want to host their guests properly are the entitled ones? I'm confuzzled by that.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker


    image
    RebeccaB88PrettyGirlLost
  • LDay2014LDay2014 member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited May 2014
    I challenge you all...go to google and type in the following
     'wedding reception definition' 

     Tell me...what does it say in the big box?
    penguin44PrettyGirlLostbeharrington
  • ViczaesarViczaesar Central Coast, CA member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    I'm posting one last comment and then I'm off here for good. I can't handle the entitlement of some of these people.

    Sorry guys, but the wedding is about the bride and groom. I know it's been "beaten to death" (bingo card) in this forum, and you still think that it's about the guests, but news flash: it's not. If you are a guest and you don't like that fact, fine. Don't go, the wedding will be more fun without you.

    The bride and groom put on a wedding because they want to give you the opportunity to celebrate with them. Not because they have anything to thank you for. Not because they owe you anything. You don't HAVE to sit through their ceremony. You don't HAVE to buy them a present. You don't even have to be their friend. But if you want to, you can - and if you choose to go to their wedding, you're choosing to spend the afternoon/evening/whatever hanging out with them and doing the activities they chose. They're not going to be super miffed if you opt out, so you have no right to be super miffed if they don't plan things according to your tastes.

    YOUR wedding is YOUR wedding, not your guests' wedding. The end.
    @claire0820, it's not your guests' wedding, but the reception IS their party.  This really is not a difficult concept, so I don't know why you're having such trouble grasping it.  That is the point of a reception.  That's what it was developed to do - thank the guests for attending. 



    HisGirlFriday13offthemarket915PrettyGirlLost
  • ViczaesarViczaesar Central Coast, CA member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer

    Sorry, couldn't resist. I know you don't like me.
    Wrong. I neither like nor dislike you. I don't know you personally, so I don't know you to like or dislike you. I just think you barged into this forum with pre-conceived ideas and notions and you refused to listen to advice or concede that we might know what we're talking about. You came here and were rude, and I don't like that behaviour.

    But, as I said elsewhere today, not liking someone's behaviour doesn't meant not liking them.
    I don't have pre-conceived ideas and I don't think I was rude. If I did come across as rude at some point, I apologize. I just disagree with a lot of what has been said here, and I'm getting the feeling that a lot of you are too close-minded to listen to anyone who has differing ideas or opinions. For instance, a response like this:

    The CEREMONY is about the Bride and Groom. Or Groom and Groom. Or Bride and Bride.

    The RECEPTION is about the guests.

    Or this:

    @claire0820

    you're wrong. 

    Rather than directly addressing my comment with a thoughtful answer, people are just restating the same thing over and over without any argument as to why. That seems pretty disrespectful. If it's been said on here twenty gazillion times, why say it again? Why not just ignore the comment you disagree with if you're too grouchy/frustrated/annoyed to give a decent answer?

    Anyway, like I just said, we're going to have to agree to disagree, because I really don't see your point of view. And that's after reading through this ridiculously long board.
    The "why" has been explained over and over and over and over and over again, in this very thread, ad nauseum. 



    cupcait927HisGirlFriday13PrettyGirlLost
  • LDay2014 said:

    I challenge you all...go to google and type in the following

     'wedding reception definition' 

     Tell me...what does it say in the big box?
    Challenge accepted?
    "A wedding reception is a party held after the completion of a marriage ceremony."
    What do I win?
    image
    KeepMovingOnKGold80

  • LDay2014 said:
    I challenge you all...go to google and type in the following
     'wedding reception definition' 

     Tell me...what does it say in the big box?

    Noun1.wedding reception - a reception for wedding guests held after the wedding
    reception - a formal party of people; as after a wedding
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    cupcait927LDay2014KGold80PrettyGirlLost
  • misshart00misshart00 Oklahoma member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    I just read 32 pages. Wow. Just wow.
    HisGirlFriday13chibiyuilyndausvirajahmd
  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes BOS, NYC, DC. Forever a city girl member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I just read 32 pages. Wow. Just wow.

    It was either this or cook dinner.
    sassyfrass2014PrettyGirlLost
  • misshart00misshart00 Oklahoma member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    I just read 32 pages. Wow. Just wow.

    It was either this or cook dinner.
    I had a sleeping baby on me. I needed some entertainment.
    HisGirlFriday13ohannabellePrettyGirlLost
  • FiancBFiancB MinnesOOOta member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
  • My eyes are bleeding after reading all that....
    PrettyGirlLost
  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 Boston Suburbs member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
  • ImaMonster89ImaMonster89 member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    edited May 2014
    Nice superiority-complex, Shrekspeare.
  • ImaMonster89ImaMonster89 member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    edited May 2014
    Money dance, bridal party forced to do a silly dance routine or to pull random guests into a dance (experienced that one as an MOH. Only knew the bride and her parents, I nearly had a panic attack).
    As for tiered weddings: So what if you're invited to the party and not the ceremony? Think about budgets, venue capacity, and etiquette dictating that family is to be on the guest list first. The bride and groom want you to party with them and how many people actually remember the ceremony? Be happy you were invited.
    Cash bar? Be glad there's booze and if it ticks you off so much, don't drink. Going for a few drinks over full bar may seem a better choice, but in the end it's not up to you.
    And for all we as guests know, some family member may have insisted on a dollar dance or two hour ceremony or long gap and the happy couple agreed to avoid a huge scene.
    Be happy you were invited instead of the couples lack of etiquette or tacky choices. No one is forcing you to attend.
    (And can we lay off on getting thank you cards immediately? Guests have up to a year after the ceremony to give a gift. The receiver should have a little time to relax after the stress of paying for a wedding before stressing over thank you notes. Give it a month or three instead of a week or two before expecting one and if it takes more than six or seven, then get huffy.)
  • Money dance, bridal party forced to do a silly dance routine or to pull random guests into a dance (experienced that one as an MOH. Only knew the bride and her parents, I nearly had a panic attack). As for tiered weddings: So what if you're invited to the party and not the ceremony? Think about budgets, venue capacity, and etiquette dictating that family is to be on the guest list first. The bride and groom want you to party with them and how many people actually remember the ceremony? Be happy you were invited. Cash bar? Be glad there's booze and if it ticks you off so much, don't drink. Going for a few drinks over full bar may seem a better choice, but in the end it's not up to you. And for all we as guests know, some family member may have insisted on a dollar dance or two hour ceremony or long gap and the happy couple agreed to avoid a huge scene. Be happy you were invited instead of the couples lack of etiquette or tacky choices. No one is forcing you to attend. (And can we lay off on getting thank you cards immediately? Guests have up to a year after the ceremony to give a gift. The receiver should have a little time to relax after the stress of paying for a wedding before stressing over thank you notes. Give it a month or three instead of a week or two before expecting one and if it takes more than six or seven, then get huffy.)

    If you had read even 1 page you'd see why there are issues with everything you've said, starting with tiered weddings.

    Nice username, btw.

    After 6 years and 2 boys, finally tying the knot on October 27th, 2013!

    PrettyGirlLostchibiyuijdluvr06RebeccaB88
  • FiancBFiancB MinnesOOOta member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    @ImaMonster89

    image

    I didn't think that anyone would justify not inviting SOs but was proven wrong. REALLY didn't think anyone would justify not sending thank you cards in a timely manner, but here we are. 
    image
    HisGirlFriday13PrettyGirlLostluckysnorkel
  • FiancB said:
    @ImaMonster89

    image

    I didn't think that anyone would justify not inviting SOs but was proven wrong. REALLY didn't think anyone would justify not sending thank you cards in a timely manner, but here we are. 

    The post makes it sound like she thinks thank you cards need to be sent as a group. Sorry not gonna wait a whole year just in case someone sends us a gift 364 days after our wedding. Get a gift in the mail? Send out their thank you right after. Received 30 gifts at your wedding? Get those out within a month, 3 months MAX.

    These snowflakes are keepin' it classy up in here.

    After 6 years and 2 boys, finally tying the knot on October 27th, 2013!

    PrettyGirlLostLDay2014scrunchythiefRebeccaB88
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