DH is nicer than I am (but Karma's a bitch!)

HisGirlFriday13

So, DH has a co-worker who's getting married in a DW/PPD. (I've posted about this before <-- clicky)

DH still wanted to get them a token wedding present. Fine. I ordered lovely etched pint glasses from @KPBM89 (second set, btw) on etsy. DH would not let me put their *REAL* wedding date (as in, the date they legally got married in our state) on it, but insisted I put their fake DW/PPD date on it. He thinks my way is passive-aggressive.

Which it is, but that's not the point.

So anyway.

They got married this weekend, by a friend who's apparently gotten ordained online -- the same friend who's going to travel to DW State to perform their PPD.

Said friend posted about it on FB and tagged B and G in the post.

Bride's and Groom's families did not know about the legal wedding in PA. They were under the (entirely reasonable) impression that the DW wedding was the real wedding -- after all, it's in another state, not another country or anything. And the rules for that state are show up 24 hours in advance and apply for a marriage licence. But apparently, having to drive an hour from their beach rental to the courthouse was 'too much effort' for them, so they did a wedding in PA.

Bride's and Groom's families are FURIOUS, and are (at least based on what I can see on FB) threatening to boycott the wedding, because they don't see the point of driving 10+ hours away for a do-over.

DH said the bride was in tears at work last night, inconsolable because 'It's our day and why can't people just let us have our day the way we wanted to?'

DH said, 'But you got your day. You got married with your dogs present by your friend in your backyard. Isn't that what you wanted?'

CW said: 'I wanted the princess day of being all dressed up and having everyone tell me I'm beautiful!'

DH said: 'Then why didn't you wait and do that?'

CW said: 'Because it was too much work. You don't understand.'

DH said: 'HisGirl and I got married Catholic. You think I don't understand jumping through hoops?'

him.

SapphireCounselor

This is the most ridiculous PPD situation I have read about in a while. No wonder everyone is pissed at them! I wouldn't even know what to say to that bride/wife? "I am sorry that your family is having a completely understandable reaction to the two of you getting married behind their backs?" I doubt that would make her feel better though...

AddieCake

Haha! Love your husband's response.

Maggie0829

Your husband is amazing!

It may be mean of me, but I am happy this happened to this girl.  Sometimes people need to have a gut punch to realize when they are being immature, dumb and entitled.

phira

GOOD.

I really don't have much sympathy. Maybe I'm a bad person?

grumbledore

Maggie0829 said:

Your husband is amazing!

It may be mean of me, but I am happy this happened to this girl.  Sometimes people need to have a gut punch to realize when they are being immature, dumb and entitled.

I agree.  I'm glad it happened.  It was completely avoidable.  

wandajune6

Your husband is awesome.

I'm just surprised that they didn't see it coming to light at some point. Did they somehow think that no one would find out? Or that they wouldn't care?

Dumbasses

climbingsingle

Your H's response is awesome. And they truly deserve to have everyone pissed at them. 

pinkcow13

GOOD for her. I'm so sick of people thinking they can lie, treat others like shit, and revert back to being a childhood brat just because it is their "special day" and everyone should "Love MEeeEeeEEEeE!" (Yes I wrote that in alternating caps to highlight the ridiculousness of it all."

Your hubby's response was AWESOME.

Cookie Pusher

Obviously, their families don't love them if they're not supporting her vision for HER DAY. *eye roll*

HisGirlFriday13

I was pretty proud of him when he told me that last night! Especially since, as most of you know, he converted to Catholicism during our engagement. I was born and raised Catholic and used to the hoops. He had to learn the hoops for our wedding.

I gather, from what he's said, that the bride-wife didn't think people would find out before the DW/PPD, and by then, of course, it would be too late because they would already be at the destination.

They only invited about 50 people to begin with, and at least half of them (me and DH included) have already declined. If her parents, his parents, and their grandparents all refuse to attend, the B/G(W/DH) might be in the position of 'what happens if you throw a wedding and no one comes?'

SapphireCounselor

HisGirlFriday13 said:

I was pretty proud of him when he told me that last night! Especially since, as most of you know, he converted to Catholicism during our engagement. I was born and raised Catholic and used to the hoops. He had to learn the hoops for our wedding.

I gather, from what he's said, that the bride-wife didn't think people would find out before the DW/PPD, and by then, of course, it would be too late because they would already be at the destination.

They only invited about 50 people to begin with, and at least half of them (me and DH included) have already declined. If her parents, his parents, and their grandparents all refuse to attend, the B/G(W/DH) might be in the position of 'what happens if you throw a wedding and no one comes?'

Wow... just wow. So they wanted their "wedding weekend" to be remembered as the weekend when they did irreparable harm to all of their most important relationships? I can't imagine why that would be a recipe for disaster.

HisGirlFriday13

SapphireCounselor said:

I was pretty proud of him when he told me that last night! Especially since, as most of you know, he converted to Catholicism during our engagement. I was born and raised Catholic and used to the hoops. He had to learn the hoops for our wedding.

I gather, from what he's said, that the bride-wife didn't think people would find out before the DW/PPD, and by then, of course, it would be too late because they would already be at the destination.

They only invited about 50 people to begin with, and at least half of them (me and DH included) have already declined. If her parents, his parents, and their grandparents all refuse to attend, the B/G(W/DH) might be in the position of 'what happens if you throw a wedding and no one comes?'

Wow... just wow. So they wanted their "wedding weekend" to be remembered as the weekend when they did irreparable harm to all of their most important relationships? I can't imagine why that would be a recipe for disaster.

I honestly think it just didn't occur to her that when the lie was found out, as it inevitably would be, people would be pissed. 

theartistformerlyknownas

I'm not sure who I'm more proud of, that friend/officiant for spilling the beans, or your husband for telling it like it is. So awesome. 

Maybe if you want to be a big lying liar pants, you should get everyone on the same page with the lie. And lock down your FB settings to require tag approval.

phira

I always find it really contradictory how people justify PPDs and justify not telling their guests.

There's so much, "It's okay for me to do this because I'm entitled to this kind of wedding that I want," but if it were okay to do, and you really were entitled to it ... then why would anyone be upset that you were doing it? And yet the majority of these couples hide the fact that they're having a PPD from their guests. "Oh, well, no one needs to know," or, "Well, then they might not come and we want everyone to come."

But either a PPD is okay and you are entitled to one, or it's not okay and people will be upset and not come to the wedding (or "wedding"). Pick one.

Maggie0829

HisGirlFriday13 said:

SapphireCounselor said:

I was pretty proud of him when he told me that last night! Especially since, as most of you know, he converted to Catholicism during our engagement. I was born and raised Catholic and used to the hoops. He had to learn the hoops for our wedding.

I gather, from what he's said, that the bride-wife didn't think people would find out before the DW/PPD, and by then, of course, it would be too late because they would already be at the destination.

They only invited about 50 people to begin with, and at least half of them (me and DH included) have already declined. If her parents, his parents, and their grandparents all refuse to attend, the B/G(W/DH) might be in the position of 'what happens if you throw a wedding and no one comes?'

Wow... just wow. So they wanted their "wedding weekend" to be remembered as the weekend when they did irreparable harm to all of their most important relationships? I can't imagine why that would be a recipe for disaster.

I honestly think it just didn't occur to her that when the lie was found out, as it inevitably would be, people would be pissed. 

Again this is an example of it isn't what you lied about that makes people pissed but it is the fact that you lied.  People don't like liars no matter if they lie about insignificant stuff or important stuff. Lying makes you look untrustworthy.

Chipmunk415

The whole original thread and this update needs to be a sticky or put in the "planning a ppd" thread as an example for the ppd snowflakes

beethery

HisGirlFriday13 said:

SapphireCounselor said:

I was pretty proud of him when he told me that last night! Especially since, as most of you know, he converted to Catholicism during our engagement. I was born and raised Catholic and used to the hoops. He had to learn the hoops for our wedding.

I gather, from what he's said, that the bride-wife didn't think people would find out before the DW/PPD, and by then, of course, it would be too late because they would already be at the destination.

They only invited about 50 people to begin with, and at least half of them (me and DH included) have already declined. If her parents, his parents, and their grandparents all refuse to attend, the B/G(W/DH) might be in the position of 'what happens if you throw a wedding and no one comes?'

Wow... just wow. So they wanted their "wedding weekend" to be remembered as the weekend when they did irreparable harm to all of their most important relationships? I can't imagine why that would be a recipe for disaster.

I honestly think it just didn't occur to her that when the lie was found out, as it inevitably would be, people would be pissed. 

Lmao especially when the H commented to some sass on facebook with something like, "Don't talk shit about my wife!!!!!"

HisGirlFriday13

beethery said:

HisGirlFriday13 said:

SapphireCounselor said:

I was pretty proud of him when he told me that last night! Especially since, as most of you know, he converted to Catholicism during our engagement. I was born and raised Catholic and used to the hoops. He had to learn the hoops for our wedding.

I gather, from what he's said, that the bride-wife didn't think people would find out before the DW/PPD, and by then, of course, it would be too late because they would already be at the destination.

They only invited about 50 people to begin with, and at least half of them (me and DH included) have already declined. If her parents, his parents, and their grandparents all refuse to attend, the B/G(W/DH) might be in the position of 'what happens if you throw a wedding and no one comes?'

Wow... just wow. So they wanted their "wedding weekend" to be remembered as the weekend when they did irreparable harm to all of their most important relationships? I can't imagine why that would be a recipe for disaster.

I honestly think it just didn't occur to her that when the lie was found out, as it inevitably would be, people would be pissed. 

Lmao especially when the H commented to some sass on facebook with something like, "Don't talk shit about my wife!!!!!"

Different couples, actually. But good memory!

JennyColada

If I ever have a daughter, I will feel like I failed as a parent if this is the kind of entitled brattiness that she thinks is acceptable.

SapphireCounselor

HisGirlFriday13 said:

SapphireCounselor said:

HisGirlFriday13 said:

I was pretty proud of him when he told me that last night! Especially since, as most of you know, he converted to Catholicism during our engagement. I was born and raised Catholic and used to the hoops. He had to learn the hoops for our wedding.

I gather, from what he's said, that the bride-wife didn't think people would find out before the DW/PPD, and by then, of course, it would be too late because they would already be at the destination.

They only invited about 50 people to begin with, and at least half of them (me and DH included) have already declined. If her parents, his parents, and their grandparents all refuse to attend, the B/G(W/DH) might be in the position of 'what happens if you throw a wedding and no one comes?'

Wow... just wow. So they wanted their "wedding weekend" to be remembered as the weekend when they did irreparable harm to all of their most important relationships? I can't imagine why that would be a recipe for disaster.

I honestly think it just didn't occur to her that when the lie was found out, as it inevitably would be, people would be pissed. 

Lol you are right. It sounds like there was a lot of "not thinking" in that situation.

[Deleted User]

I must say you ladies were the first to make me realize how crazy pants the whole ppd scenario is- this while my coworkers' daughter was planning one- but this one takes the cake for real. 

Serious snaps to your DH for his comeback!! I'm marrying FI in a Catholic ceremony and there's plenty of hoops that even he didn't know about.

Last thought- If planning a wedding is so much work, what does she think marriage will be? So many yikes here.

beethery

@HisGirlFriday13

Did the other couple turn out to be having a PPD too?????? Good looooord

grumbledore

JennyColada said:

If I ever have a daughter, I will feel like I failed as a parent if this is the kind of entitled brattiness that she thinks is acceptable.

My 10 year old already thinks PPDs are ridiculous.  I was telling her a story about a couple that had one and she said, "Wait, but didn't they already get married"  Me, "Yes."  Her, "Then... how can they have a wedding?"  It was awesome.

HisGirlFriday13

beethery said:

@HisGirlFriday13

Did the other couple turn out to be having a PPD too?????? Good looooord

Yep! The couple from my judgeypants thread (where the girl changed her name on social media before their wedding) turned out to have gotten JOP married prior to their 'real' wedding in May, the families found out, and they were furious.

(She's just a FB friend, not an IRL friend, though, so that's OK, we weren't invited to the shitstorm.)

This DW/PPD girl is a co-worker of DH's, so we were invited, but declined.

I know too many rude people.

KatieinBkln

I'm kind of amazed at the sheer prevalence of PPDs. I had never even heard of such a thing, nor had the idea to get married twice (once for the law, and once for the cameras!) ever occurred to me. I haven't been to a ton of weddings, but the PPD sounds like a very weird phenomenon. I blame the Wedding-Industrial Complex, and bad parenting. (I think I will henceforth blame all bad things on those two factors).

beethery

HisGirlFriday13 said:

beethery said:

@HisGirlFriday13

Did the other couple turn out to be having a PPD too?????? Good looooord

Yep! The couple from my judgeypants thread (where the girl changed her name on social media before their wedding) turned out to have gotten JOP married prior to their 'real' wedding in May, the families found out, and they were furious.

(She's just a FB friend, not an IRL friend, though, so that's OK, we weren't invited to the shitstorm.)

This DW/PPD girl is a co-worker of DH's, so we were invited, but declined.

I know too many rude people.

You definitely do lol

I found out my cousin had a PPD. I don't think most people know, and I don't super care. I think it was to appease her H's family who is super religious. I wish they'd just been like yup, we got married at a JOP so that I could try to get military benefits before I started school outside of the country (they spend the first year and a half of their marriage in separate countries). But whatever.

Her H's family hosted a fucking "scaled down for space" INSANELY HUGE Casino Night themed RD at a very ritzy place in ATL, only because the GA Aquarium wasn't available. Compared to her PPD, which my aunt and uncle paid for, it seemed like a big WELL WE CAN AFFORD THIS, PLEBES! kind of thing.

Her H's grandfather performed the ceremony. He used the ceremony to tell a long story about when he realized that H had been 'saved' and then during the vows he only said the OBEY thing during my cousin's part. Fuck that shit. Spouse =/= LIFE BOSS.

HisGirlFriday13

beethery said:

HisGirlFriday13 said:

beethery said:

@HisGirlFriday13

Did the other couple turn out to be having a PPD too?????? Good looooord

Yep! The couple from my judgeypants thread (where the girl changed her name on social media before their wedding) turned out to have gotten JOP married prior to their 'real' wedding in May, the families found out, and they were furious.

(She's just a FB friend, not an IRL friend, though, so that's OK, we weren't invited to the shitstorm.)

This DW/PPD girl is a co-worker of DH's, so we were invited, but declined.

I know too many rude people.

You definitely do lol

I found out my cousin had a PPD. I don't think most people know, and I don't super care. I think it was to appease her H's family who is super religious. I wish they'd just been like yup, we got married at a JOP so that I could try to get military benefits before I started school outside of the country (they spend the first year and a half of their marriage in separate countries). But whatever.

Her H's family hosted a fucking "scaled down for space" INSANELY HUGE Casino Night themed RD at a very ritzy place in ATL, only because the GA Aquarium wasn't available. Compared to her PPD, which my aunt and uncle paid for, it seemed like a big WELL WE CAN AFFORD THIS, PLEBES! kind of thing.

Her H's grandfather performed the ceremony. He used the ceremony to tell a long story about when he realized that H had been 'saved' and then during the vows he only said the OBEY thing during my cousin's part. Fuck that shit. Spouse =/= LIFE BOSS.

A.men.

I am, however, DH's trash boss, recycling boss, scheduling boss, laundry boss, and grocery-shopping boss.

Fran1985

The twilight woman and the american idol guy just got found out being married way before the ceremony. My entire internet is frozen except for this page otherwise I would link and know names haha.

smalfrie19

Fran1985 said:

The twilight woman and the american idol guy just got found out being married way before the ceremony. My entire internet is frozen except for this page otherwise I would link and know names haha.

the WHO?!?!?

arrippa

Fran1985 said:

The twilight woman and the american idol guy just got found out being married way before the ceremony. My entire internet is frozen except for this page otherwise I would link and know names haha.

Paul McDoonald and the pretty brunette (not K Stew)?