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FI and money -vent-

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Re: FI and money -vent-

  • bwybwy member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited September 2014
    As for the why don't I have a job question... I did have a job for a year, but my boss made me feel uncomfortable and so I quit, and then after that I wasn't really ready to grow up and so I just didn't really look for another job, and then this Army thing came up, and I intend to look for a job after FI and I get married in December but I'm worried about not being able to get the full two weeks off for Christmas, especially if I'm working a minimum wage placeholder job, so I decided to wait until then to get one. 
    Also, when I had a job I had my own bank account, I paid for my own everything, and I split with FI for dinners and fun stuff together. All this is really happening quick but it's what I want, I guess I just need to adjust to it better
  • What do you do all day? Don't you get bored? 
    Anniversary

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  • Develop as your own person before deciding to actually get married. When I was 19, I couldn't see past the next few years let alone my whole life.
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  • bc+rw16 said:
    As for the why don't I have a job question... I did have a job for a year, but my boss made me feel uncomfortable and so I quit, and then after that I wasn't really ready to grow up and so I just didn't really look for another job, and then this Army thing came up, and I intend to look for a job after FI and I get married in December but I'm worried about not being able to get the full two weeks off for Christmas, especially if I'm working a minimum wage placeholder job, so I decided to wait until then to get one. 
    Also, when I had a job I had my own bank account, I paid for my own everything, and I split with FI for dinners and fun stuff together. All this is really happening quick but it's what I want, I guess I just need to adjust to it better
    What happened to that bank account?
    I closed it because they kept fining me for being under the minimum amount. 
  • bwybwy member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited September 2014
    Why are the two of you in such a rush to get married??
    Because he joined the army and it's the only way I can be with him. He gets 2 weeks home at Christmas, and that's the only time I'll be able to see him in between his 6 months of training. 
    EDIT: I thought that it was going to be at least two to four years before we were going to get married, but he joined the army and so we're getting married now. We were going to get married anyways, so it's not like we decided to get married because of the army. 
  • May I ask how long you've been together?
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  • We've been together for 10 months 
  • Have you two gone through any premarital counseling?
  • jackannlu said:
    Financial issues are one of the common reasons for divorce. If you are already arguing over $15 and buying a coffee at Starbucks every once in a while, I'd say the chances are good you will end up arguing over money in the future, like when expenses increase due to having children. Its pretty important you tackle this topic before you get married. Even if you decide to be a stay at home wife/mom, that doesn't mean you don't have a say in the finances. 

    My advice to you is to open your own account. There is no reason why an adult shouldn't have a bank account, I'm actually pretty shocked you don't have one from before you were a couple.
    I had one in high school. I had to, in order to be able to buy my school books while my parents worked. 

    OP, definitely get a checking account. Put your money in it. Look into getting a part time job and save that money. You will need money at some point that you can access on your own without his presence. He's military. He will likely deploy, and you will need access to food/gas/bill money.
    Daisypath Wedding tickers
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  • College would give you Christmas' off to see him when he's home. Just a thought. 

    Learn how to support yourself before marriage! ESPECIALLY to someone in the military. What if the worst happens and he doesn't come home? How will you support you and your kids? What if he comes home disabled and unable to work? How will you support him AND your kids?

    Go to school and learn how to be an adult at your own speed. Because you will have to grow up FAST once you're married. 


  • bc+rw16 said:
    We've been together for 10 months 
    Now I DEFINITELY think you are rushing into things. I would try long distance before you get married. Get a job, establish yourself, and then evaluate things after his training ends. You are too young to rush into marriage. 
  • bc+rw16 said:
    We've been together for 10 months 
    And your parents are fine with it?

    I now have a question. Do you two live together with your parents? Or do you each live with your own parents?
  • emanon321 said:
    bc+rw16 said:
    We've been together for 10 months 
    And your parents are fine with it?

    I now have a question. Do you two live together with your parents? Or do you each live with your own parents?
    Um we kind of shuttle back and forth between houses. My parents are really happy, they hope that we'll be as happy as they are. They met when my mom was 18 and they've been together ever since. 
  • There are a lot of red flags here. OP, have you ever had a job? Are you planning on going on to post-secondary education, apprenticeship or some sort of career prep? I think it's very important to have some sort of work experience before you decide to be a SAHM, because you never know what could happen. My grandma got married very young and had 3 kids by the time she was 22. She never had a job, went straight from her parents' house to her husbands' house and was a SAHM. Her husband paid all the bills and they lived comfortably. He was driving home from work one day, got in to a car accident (he wasn't at fault) and died. Grandma was left alone with 3 kids to raise, no income and no job experience. She had to rely on the generosity of family and friends to keep her kids fed, clothed and sheltered for a couple months before she found a place willing to hire her with no work experience.

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