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Wedding Etiquette Forum
ashtsb
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Bar related question
My fiance and I are planning a wedding this October. We ended up finding a place that has a bar which delighted us because we thought we would have to go dry. The question I have is would it be tacky or rude to have tickets for the guests to get drinks? My fiance's side of the family doesn't drink and I'm doing my best to avoid a cash bar or go dry and I'm hoping to find a good middle ground. If guests wanted more drinks then what tickets they had they could pay for their own if they so wished. I don't normally post online so any help is appreciated 
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Re: Bar related question
http://forums.theknot.com/discussion/1036615/cash-bars-everything-you-need-to-know-in-one-place#latest
Please don't make people buy tickets..
ETA: We hosted beer and wine which is perfectly acceptable. Could you do something like that?
ETA: and yes, it would be rude.
One way to think about it is your guests will likely end up getting tickets from non drinking guests. This would make me feel tacky and cheap. I shouldn't feel that way, because as a guest I should be fully hosted.
The rule you must stick with is:
EVERYONE must be hosted EQUALLY for the ENTIRE event and guests should not have to pay for ANYTHING.
So no wedding party special treatment, no hosted bar for cocktail hour only, no limiting guests to a certain number of drinks per person. And obviously none of your guests should have to open their wallets at all.
GOOD NEWS THOUGH!!!!
You have options that will help you stick to budget without breaking the rule!
There are different bar options, such as the following, that might work for you:
1. Limited Classic Bar - You pay a price per head for the bar, the price per head will depend on the types of alcohol you choose. A full top shelf bar might run (ESTIMATE) $60 a head whereas a beer and wine only bar might be $45. Obviously check with your venue but if you host beer and wine only you are sure to save money.
2. Consumption Bar - Most venues allow you to have this option. Basically you only pay for what people drink during the night. Now, this can be a bit of an unknown as you really will not know the cost till after the event. However, if you have very few drinkers then it might be a great option for you. You can also pair this with the idea above about beer and wine only.
Please do not to tickets. This is not a carnival. If your only option is to have a dry wedding that is perfectly ok. As long as you still follow that rule above. Everyone is equally hosted the whole event.
HTH and good luck!!!
Tickets are not acceptable at hosted events. Your wedding should be a hosted event. That means you, the host, pay for everything and the guests pay for nothing.
If you cannot afford an unlimited open bar, consider hosting beer and wine only. Guests are still able to drink as they see fit without paying, but the costs to you are lower than a full bar with liquor would be. And no one needs tickets.
Definitely check out a consumption bar option and use the calculators PP's suggested.
I just wanted to add that I've been to a wedding like you were describing and it was pretty awful. Each person only got two drink tickets, and after that it was cash. I don't carry cash, so basically once my tickets were gone, I couldn't get any more drinks. The bridal party got unlimited drinks, which just made it even worse for the other guests.
She's just so full of great ideas.
Don't do the bolded.
I've seen the "first two tickets are on us and then you're on your own" at a lot of organized parties so I'm not really sure why a wedding suddenly makes it wrong to do but apparently it is. I think offering a certain amount of free booze and then letting people buy their own is perfectly reasonable but then I think that there is entirely too much emphasis on alcohol at social events and I desperately wish people would stop equating alcohol service with good hosting. Honestly, if you believe that you need alcohol to have a good time you're doing something wrong. The event and the people should be the reason why you're having a good time, not how drunk you can get. Being drunk or even buzzed isn't attractive and it drives me crazy how society expects alcohol for a good time.
So honestly, I think a few drink tickets per person and then everyone is on their own is just fine. Unfortunately, societal expectations differ so you have to offer free booze to everyone lest you get the side eye for not allowing everyone to get plastered on your dime and make idiots of themselves.
I have never seen anyone on these boards suggest that alcohol is a requirement for good hosting. They have only stated if you are going to have alcohol host it properly. They have stated many times that dry weddings can be just as fun as open bars.
I don't see alcohol as a requirement. I see it as something that is overstated as a requirement for a good time. So yes, I do think that people should be responsible for their own consumption, especially if they are going to overindulge as most do at parties. I don't feel like I should be required to fund someone's stupidity because society has dictated that the only way to have fun at a social gathering is to get drunk.
I would much prefer to have people be responsible for their own beverages at a wedding just like they are responsible for their own beverages at all other social gatherings in familar circles.
But don't fret, we're having an open bar even though I think it's stupid. It's a part of the package we got so whatever. I just have strict instructions in place to prevent over consumption.