Why are some people weird about babies and weddings?

goheels05

I know those bitches on etiquette told you not to do a baby release because one of them might poop on the guests but I am happy to report that I did not get pooped on.  I think one girl got some turd but she was wearing brown so it was all good, your pictures weren't ruined or anything. 

nicole0128

As a wedding present, my uncle paid for us to have our wedding and reception at a museum!  My FI and I were estatic until we found out that if anything gets broken, it is charged to us. We decided to have the no children rule becasue a few cousins don't discipline their children and have been known just to dump their kids on other people while they go off. My best friend from college has two kids (5 and 3) and one on the way and they are the most well behaved kids ever.  One of the GM has 3 kids that are well behaved.  If I let my best friend bring her well behaved kids, I have to let the cousins bring their little terrors, so I had to implement the no children rule.

goheels05

My wedding was on a river boat.  We weren't going to have babies there because we thought it would be a liability, but at the last minute we changed our mind.  Babies make great life preservers! 

charelledavis

Babies at weddings?YUCK!

stephanieg2009

WOW, some of you ladies just need to CHILL the eff out.  I think you're all making way too big of a deal over this.  I'm 21 weeks pregnant right now, which means at my wedding my son will be about 7 or 8 months old, and I FULL intend on having him there.  And you know what?  I don't care if anyone else brings their kids, because I see weddings as a family affair...and to me, kids ARE family, related or not.

Man....I thought I was moody because of my hormones, but there are some snarky responses on this board.  LOL

ncole30

I am getting married in Oct @ 4 and I have 1 bridesmaid that is going to be very much pregnant and then my very close friend that will have a month old baby and I dont have a problem with either. I have asked these people to be at or in my wedding and I would think it rude to ask them to not bring their kids or ask them not to be in the wedding because they are pregnant. Im so excited about the wedding and celebrating with my friends and family that small things like that just arent important. Now I have been invited to weddings where they ask for No Children and I have not gone as I have a child and just think it tacky to ask that of guest.

To each their own

goheels05

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_people-weird-babies-weddings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:d2e8a745-99c8-4da6-8eda-8f37ee4395a7Post:111bee08-280f-4d02-80e0-403bc7c920be">Re: Why are some people weird about babies and weddings?</a>:
[QUOTE]WOW, some of you ladies just need to CHILL the eff out.  I think you're all making way too big of a deal over this.  I'm 21 weeks pregnant right now, which means at my wedding my son will be about 7 or 8 months old, and I FULL intend on having him there.  And you know what?  I don't care if anyone else brings their kids, because I see weddings as a family affair...and to me, kids ARE family, related or not. Man....I thought I was moody because of my hormones, but there are some snarky responses on this board.  LOL
Posted by stephanieg2009[/QUOTE]

So since you have a kid on the way, and you are having children at your wedding, everyone else should agree with you?

Sounds to me like you are the one who needs to chill. 

rryan11

Personally I don't have any issues with babies at weddings...we are hoping to hire out an extra room and pay a few of the girls from my nephews' daycare centre to come in for a few hours so the kids can go play while the adults have a dance etc...it worked so well for my sister's wedding.

I also know for a fact that my Maid of Honour is trying to get pregnant, and I have absolutely no problem with it, if she's pregnant, we just make sure the dress fits!!
As someone already said, pregnant bridesmaids are beautiful!!

leospride09

I have no idea my daughter will be in our wedding granted she is a toddler and not an infant. My brother also just got married and we took her there....she was the star of the show....lol forget about the wedding it was all about my little girl in her white dress dancing the night away....with both the bride and groom!
She was sooo CUTE!

lynds230

The problem isn't the babies/toddlers, it's the parents who don't think to take them out of the ceremony when they start to cry! Or stop little Johnny from lighting the tablecloth on fire at the reception because they think it's cute...my mom would have beat my little @ss if I acted the way some parents let their kids carry on but that's their prerogative I guess. So then in turn, it is B&G's prerogative to say 'no kids' if they want to.

lynds230

Oh and prego BMs = super cute. I don't know why anyone would ever take issue with that, and the theory that it takes away from the bride is a bit silly IMO!

ldawngirl

I think many people don't like the uncertainty of how kids may act. Whether you have a normally good child or not, kids easily get cranky, tired and they just don't know what not to do or what's off limits (i.e. an expensive wedding cake). Especially at an evening wedding when dinner has barely begun and it's time for Little Joey to get to bed. If someone has taken 6 months or a year or more to plan an expensive wedding, I guess they just don't want kids there as they could potentially muck things up. It's not the babies fault, it's just the unexpected that they bring with them.

For me, I think a no kids policy is fine so long as it's addressed politely. Plus, if I had kids, I'd love to be able to leave the kids at home with a baby-sitter and enjoy a night out. It's a fancy dinner and dance - would you take your toddler to a fancy restaurant?

emclarkhms

Re: Pregnant Bridesmaids - My MOH is due the week before my wedding. Since it will be her first, there is a strong likelihood that she'll deliver late. I am fine with her being pregnant, she's going to look lovely.  I am only worried that her water will break up on stage. Yikes.

Re: Babies - I have been going rounds and rounds with everyone about this issue. I do not want any children at my wedding - see all the notes above about bad behavior, screaming, etc. I am the only family member who DOESN'T have kids. I'm being seen as a cold-hearted bridezilla. With parents paying, my hand has been forced and I am required to invite them.  FI and I are thinking about dropping everything and eloping just to avoid them.

Ps. I have close to 30 infant / toddler nieces, nephews and cousins. That's not a single child, that's a freakin' day care.

aleasesuttice

I dont think it's about the pregnancy it's about the babies crying and making noise @ the wedding...could you imagine the preacher saying "Does anyone obeject to these two people being married?" and a baby burst out in a loud cry!!!! How embarrassing that has to be for that babies parents, or fussing threw the intire ceremony.

I am trying to find a way tel break the new lightly that I would appreciate if people would not bring their children, not unless they are actually in the wedding!!!!!

AmberMarieTX

My mom, who is not really a control freak type, is already insinuating that my  nephew and my future neice (who will be like eight months old), should be involved in the wedding?

should I just have him "usher" her to her seat before the mothers sit down and call it a day?

jamiebuchanan

I trump everyone! THREE of my chosen BMs announced pregnancies within months of each other, of course one backed out and another decided she would not be able to attend for location reasons, I still have my best friend and she will have a tiny tiny baby.

The ONLY reason I am not allowing children that are not IN the family is because our venue is very small (75 guests max) and I want to leave room for adult family members and friends. My friend is aware of this and her baby is going to stay with her mother during the event.

tsimmons2121

I'm paying a minimum of $20,000 for the wedding.  I don't feel it necessary to have someone's baby screaming through the ceremony much less dinner or the reception.  They need to stay home.

sweetpea72785

I think I am a little Biased since I have 2 of my own children and I know that if i was invited to a wedding that was no kids I probably wouldnt even go at all, and I would like all my family to be there. Were having bubbles at the ceremony just for the kids and coloring books and a special DJ show for the kids too. But I can def. say that if i didnt have 1yr old and a 5yr old I probably would do no kids too.'Dalmantinka77 I know how you feel we have friends that are the same with there girls and the oldest is 4 she threw a bowling ball at people for my sons birthday party,  After multiple incidents I have just complety chewed her mom a new one and walked away (mostly beacuse im sick of her kids hitting my kids and teaching poor behavior)

christyran1228

One of my closest friends, the one actually responsible for me meeting the love of my life, will not be coming to my ceremony no matter how much I said I don't mind if she brings her 3 newly-adopted babies (2 years, 9 months & 6 1/2 months), because she's afraid they will disrupt the ceremony. 

This upsets me. 

annaliesehart

One of my bridesmaids will have a 5 month old  at our wedding and I'm totally okay with it. We're inviting kids, too. I don't see the big deal at all. As long as whoever is taking care of the baby during the ceremony knows that a crying baby should be taken out and walked up and down a hall where you will only be able to hear the crying if you strain... we're good. Because I would hate for the baby to answer the priests "speak now or forever hold your peace". 

andribel0808

People are being ridiculous and not giving you a good answer.
I personally don't want children under five at my wedding and I will tell you why.  I have a two year old niece and I love her but I don't want her at the wedding because she is unpredictable in her behavior.  When I baby sit her she is very well behaved, but when she is with her parents she is an unrully child.  My fear is that during the ceremony she will want to run down the aisle or come up front when we are exchanging our vows and if they don't let her she will cry and disrupt the ceremony.   At the reception I am worried about her wanting to touch the cake or run up and down the dance floor while people are dancing thus risking injury to herself or someone else.  I can only speak for myself but I have been to weddings where the kids took over everything and instead of it being a wonderful day for the bride it turned out terrible because parents, when they bring their children to events, seem to think that everyone else there should babysit while the dance and have a good times.  With babies it's more of a crying issue or changing diapers or breast feeding, etc.  If she is going to have the baby there then you need to make sure that there is a place for her to breast feed and change diapers.  Other than those few things I really don't see a problem with it.

annaliesehart

AmberMarieTX -- I've read in countless books and wedding things that a child under about four or five years old is just too young to be involved in a ceremony. They get overwhelmed and it becomes a big traumatic nightmare for them. 

My Mother-in-Law reaaaaally wants my future nephew to be my ring bearer, but he's only going to be about 28 months. I just don't want to put him through that, (walking down an aisle in front of 200+ guests without his mommy) and I don't want to have planned to have him as a ring bearer only for him to flip out and not walk down the aisle. 

christyran1228

Now, there is a coworker that I really want to invite ... but our venue is 75 people max and we're super-close to that number, and I don't know how to ask her not to bring her 3 kids.


*sigh*

TiaMatthew

I'm not sure why they would be worried about it when you aren't even.  I would be like you, I think it is so exciting.  Is it because the baby might cry?  Take him outside then whats the big deal?

backwardsdog

Or maybe babies SCREAM and SQUALL unexpectedly during oh, I don't know, one of the most important moments in your life, as in, the ceremony? Why WOULD you want that at your wedding?

Not everyone likes babies. But I guess that's an offensive or stupid mindset.

ward6367

Well, my mom is weird about babies at my wedding.  Just so happen the weddings that we hae atteded had small babies/children and it seemed they started to cry at the wrong time, during the vows.  So, my mom was like if she is paying no babies allowed.

cad5033

9 of my guests will be under the age of 3 at my wedding and its a year out so technically there's still some baby making time. what worries me isn't so much a bunch of toddlers reaking havoc but that their parents won't be able to dance and have a good time at our reception and will probably end up leaving early. if one of my friends or family announced they were pregnant tomorrow, of course i would be happy for them, but at the same time i won't be able to enjoy the wedding day with them in the same way as if they didn't have an infant to care for.

bettersjs

I think that some people are worried about crying, and ... Not sure what else. I'm having a connected, but different issue. So, my fiance's best man is going to have a 4 month old, and one of my BM  is going to be 8 months prego at the wedding, which I am more than fine with. We also have one nephew (my FI only sister) who lives in Florida (we are in CO), and he is 21/2, so of course we weren't going to say no kids! Besides that, before becoming a nurse I was a nanny for about 10 years, so I love the little ones. But now, out of nowhere, my Aunt has made my wedding a "family reunion", which would be great, except for the fact that she has guilt tripped two of my cousins saying how their children never see each other, which again would be fine, but one of my cousins' kids are completely OUT OF CONTROL! He has two boys, one is 6 and one is 4, and they are crazy.

So here's the issue. My cousin and his boys live here in Denver (where I live). My Aunt lives in NC. My cousin never takes responsibility for his boys, and my Aunt said that she would babysit them, which also hurt my feelings. I tried to tell her that there was no need for my cousin to have his boys there (the wedding is at 10,000 ft in the mountains), when his ex wife can keep them, because I would really prefer to have my Aunt there for the wedding than just to babysit (by the way I've watched her chase them under the table while we were having a big family dinner before). So, I cannot tell people that they cannot bring their kids, and I can't invite some and not the others, so how do I make sure that my wedding doesn't turn into some circus?

christyran1228

We will have a sufficient supply of duct tape on hand to take care of the unruly children at our wedding ... and we've already scoped out our venue for an appropiately sized closet to put them in.

With the RSVP's I've gotten so far, we anticipate there will be 2 in the closet before the end of the evening.

lol

cmj_ones

Thank You!  Finally somebody understands that children are NOT OKAY at weddings.  The last thing I want is some kid crying and having a temper tantrum in the middle of the ceremony!  I'll take my dislike a children a step further though and say I'm pissed my future sister-in-law's 2 year old is going to be the ring bearer.  No 2 year old child is ok walking down the an isle with 120 people starring at him without his mom to hold his hand while wearing a tux and carrying a stupid pillow in 100 degree weather!!!!!!

Hate on me all you want people.