I Judge

Snippylynn

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_judge-30?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9f014215-4d82-48c6-95e0-7893fac77473Post:1d47e501-fdce-440a-b08e-44bdf8602169">Re: I Judge</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I Judge : We're going to breed a generation of children with absolutely no immune system eventually. SANITIZE THE WORLD.
Posted by laurenclaire1386[/QUOTE]
Shoot, I had a full complement of shots and my immune system STILL crashed when i was 4.

laurenclaire1386

She assumes it's not a good idea to let the cat lay in the baby's crib with the baby in it. WELL NO FUCKIN SHIIT, SHERLOCK.

Meg1036

I judge myself for clicking on the blog link of the BSC lady and increasing her page views.

baystateapple

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_judge-30?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9f014215-4d82-48c6-95e0-7893fac77473Post:96bcc71e-81fc-4322-85c8-82d4f1472fe3">Re: I Judge</a>:
[QUOTE]I judge myself for clicking on the blog link of the BSC lady and increasing her page views.
Posted by Meg1036[/QUOTE]

Ditto this.

scottswife1106

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_judge-30?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:9f014215-4d82-48c6-95e0-7893fac77473Post:6b354305-f60f-4f06-88d6-b12975c6266d">Re: I Judge</a>:
[QUOTE]SW - yep, I'm going to go ahead and flame/judge the mom and baby comment.  Its really unreasonable to think that a mom should stay inside until the bleeding stops.  Am I supposed to stay inside on my period, too?  And honestly, taking the baby out and about is pretty low-risk, as long as you're not passing them around to strangers.  Yes, having a baby means making sacrifices.  No, it doesn't mean the mom ceases to be a person who needs to get out and enjoy herself and interact with other people.  I don't know what I would do, since I don't have kids, but I think judging it is ridiculous.
Posted by Meg1036[/QUOTE]

Your body has gone through a tramatic thing after having a baby and going out to socialize, in my opinion, is not good for the mom. But that's my opinion.

ahhhitsshannyn

I will also flame that judge Scottswife. I honestly think that is is impossible to stay in the house for 6 weeks. And do you really think that just because they stay in that people would not come TO the house and spread the same germs? Come on.

I judge the lady in the office for practically wearing pajamas to work on Monday and I also judge my boss for not saying anything. I understand that no one comes in here but we are still supposed to be business casual and sweat pants and sweat shirt is far from that.

RobotLegs

I will almost definitely take my baby out before 6 weeks.  I can not imagine sitting in the house staring at the damn walls for 6 full weeks.  Not happening.  I mean, we won't be out at the zoo or something, but we will go to Grandma or Auntie's house at least.

Ciaram22

I judge people who judge parents for doing things that work for them. My pediatrician is perfectly okay with me taking my newborn out an d he is only 2.5 weeks old. I haven't let anyone hold him while out though

jaycee7389

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_judge-30?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9f014215-4d82-48c6-95e0-7893fac77473Post:bd84525d-4305-4521-a047-87a25441c175">Re: I Judge</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I Judge : I think you're going to need to explain what your BF does.
Posted by emilyinchile[/QUOTE]

<div>nothing crazy haha, he owns a pizza shop. the reason it embarasses me is because he'll have sauce/flour and stuff on him and still run to the grocery store or whatever and i feel like people assume he's just a slob or something, not that he's coming from work.</div>

RobotLegs

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_judge-30?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:9f014215-4d82-48c6-95e0-7893fac77473Post:4edaf9e1-08df-4813-aede-0479b79ec7c3">Re: I Judge</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I Judge : Your body has gone through a tramatic thing after having a baby and going out to socialize, in my opinion, is not good for the mom. But that's my opinion.
Posted by scottswife1106[/QUOTE]

I disagree.  Yes, having a baby is a big deal, but to say it's traumatic?  It really shouldn't be.  It's a natural thing.  (Minus c-sections, which are, obviously, surgery)  If I have a regular vaginal delivery, I don't see why I need 6 weeks of recovery. 

Meg1036

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_judge-30?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9f014215-4d82-48c6-95e0-7893fac77473Post:4edaf9e1-08df-4813-aede-0479b79ec7c3">Re: I Judge</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I Judge : Your body has gone through a tramatic thing after having a baby and going out to socialize, in my opinion, is not good for the mom. But that's my opinion.
Posted by scottswife1106[/QUOTE]

Again, I don't have a kid.  And I know women for whom birth was really traumatic and didn't want to go anywhere or just wanted to nest.  But I also know women who physically felt ok pretty quickly, and/or are extroverts, and I'm not sure how socializing when you're feeling fine (other than being a bit tired or sore) puts the mom's health at risk.  Going out for lunch is not a strenuous activity.

laurenclaire1386

And for the records Scottswife, I don't think you're getting flamed because you said it about a reg. I think you're getting flamed because it was another dumb thing you said, regardless of who it was about.

specialk84

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_judge-30?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9f014215-4d82-48c6-95e0-7893fac77473Post:e161ab1c-ea23-4449-8f09-d8b8db56abaf">Re: I Judge</a>:
[QUOTE]I judge people who go into stores in pajamas.  I totally get wanting to be comfortable, but you can get that feeling with sweats and/or wind pants.  I don't want to see you walking around in your eeyore pajama pants at 4pm.  
Posted by dnbeach12[/QUOTE]

<div>THIS.  </div><div>
</div><div>I was ranting about it on FB one day (half my criminal law class wore pajamas, and I was cranky), and FSIL came back with, "Well, I wear them all the time.  They're just so comfortable."  She seemed to think I would back down, but I still think they're stupid.  I don't even like seeing people in sweats unless they're heading to or from the gym.</div>

scottswife1106

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_judge-30?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:9f014215-4d82-48c6-95e0-7893fac77473Post:6d358f2c-8aa8-472b-a2f6-0796685db292">Re: I Judge</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I Judge : I agree completely.  Also, you can't protect your kids from every germ on the planet, and trying is just going to be a problem later on in life.
Posted by Snippylynn[/QUOTE]

I just feel like it's only 6 weeks. Yeah it's hard to stay in the house, but when I see newborns at the movie theater, I really have to ask is it that serious??? I am not a "germaphobe" at all, my sister actually thinks I should be more of one.

Ciaram22

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_judge-30?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9f014215-4d82-48c6-95e0-7893fac77473Post:4edaf9e1-08df-4813-aede-0479b79ec7c3">Re: I Judge</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I Judge : Your body has gone through a tramatic thing after having a baby and going out to socialize, in my opinion, is not good for the mom. But that's my opinion.
Posted by scottswife1106[/QUOTE]
Just so you know it actually helps with healing the sooner you are up and moving normally. My epidural had barely worn off before I was up and walking in my hospital room. On day 4 we took a walk and put DS in his carseat on the stroller and it felt awesome.

Meg1036

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_judge-30?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9f014215-4d82-48c6-95e0-7893fac77473Post:c2478cb6-e49b-4d2f-a3d4-60254557b0da">Re: I Judge</a>:
[QUOTE]Why is BSC-blog-lady trying to lick her cat in that one picture? "I mean, we are talking all kinds of disorders from dyslexia, ADD, psychophrenia, to homosexuality {disclaimer: I am not throwing homosexuality in the same catergory as those other things, I am simply putting them in the same sentence because all those things were linked to maternal anxiety during brain development, also I’d be perfectly happy if my child was gay, as long as it’s not something that I did to him/her )." And what does that even mean? Her baby can be gay as long as she didn't make him that way? I just don't get it.
Posted by cfaszews25[/QUOTE]

And how do you KNOW whether something that is "wrong" (in quotes because I don't think homosexuality is wrong) with your child is due to your actions or random chance or God's plan (if you believe in that)?

ahhhitsshannyn

I judge H's work for sending him away for 4 days. We have never really been apart since we have met and I am going to be lonely. But I am also completely convinced he is being sent to area 51 so I am not really all that rational right now.

scottswife1106

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_judge-30?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:9f014215-4d82-48c6-95e0-7893fac77473Post:30238133-211a-492e-be47-af48e2c4b642">Re: I Judge</a>:
[QUOTE]I will almost definitely take my baby out before 6 weeks.  I can not imagine sitting in the house staring at the damn walls for 6 full weeks.  Not happening.  I mean, we won't be out at the zoo or something, but we will go to Grandma or Auntie's house at least.
Posted by RobotLegs[/QUOTE]

THIS.

We went to visit my mom and things like that but we didn't go out in true "public" until they were about 8 weeks. And by that I mean church, bar b ques, zoo, etc.

Ciaram22

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_judge-30?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9f014215-4d82-48c6-95e0-7893fac77473Post:2acd5b60-1d03-45c1-95b7-fade1d19f8df">Re: I Judge</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I Judge : I just feel like it's only 6 weeks. Yeah it's hard to stay in the house, but when I see newborns at the movie theater, I really have to ask is it that serious??? I am not a "germaphobe" at all, my sister actually thinks I should be more of one.
Posted by scottswife1106[/QUOTE]
Again for me I coldn't stay in the house any longer. I had already been on bed rest for 8 weeks and was getting serious cabin fever. My son went to his first soccer match on Saturday at 2 weeks. I've seen newborns younger than that at those matches.

Beachy730

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_judge-30?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9f014215-4d82-48c6-95e0-7893fac77473Post:2acd5b60-1d03-45c1-95b7-fade1d19f8df">Re: I Judge</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I Judge : I just feel like it's only 6 weeks. Yeah it's hard to stay in the house, but when I see newborns at the movie theater, I really have to ask is it that serious??? I am not a "germaphobe" at all, my sister actually thinks I should be more of one.
Posted by scottswife1106[/QUOTE]

<div>Well having a newborn at the theater is just dumb IMO, but I think your judge in general is ridiiculous.  I'm assuming you're referring to Ciara bringing her baby to the soccer game, and if the doctor says it's fine, who are you to say that he was wrong?  Do you have a medical degree that we don't know about?  Would I do it? I don't know, I don't have kids yet.  But I can guarantee you I'm not sitting in the house without leaving for 6 weeks.  </div><div>
</div><div>And seriously, how do you know if they are still bleeding?  Do you ask them?  It's really none of your damn business if they are or not.  You seriously sound like you're stuck in the 50's where women should just stay home and be the "perfect" mom and wife.  </div>

RobotLegs

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_judge-30?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:9f014215-4d82-48c6-95e0-7893fac77473Post:e0b5d785-b1fb-4c40-b1db-62d27577b384">Re: I Judge</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I Judge : THIS. We went to visit my mom and things like that but we didn't go out in true "public" until they were about 8 weeks. And by that I mean church, bar b ques, zoo, etc.
Posted by scottswife1106[/QUOTE]

Oh, I wasn't agreeing with you really.  I would probably take them to church if I were a churchgoer.  And I may take baby to the mall for a walk, since it will probably be cold by then.

ahhhitsshannyn

Seriously, if child birth is so traumatic, they would not send you home the next freakin' day. Yes, it is "only" 6 weeks, but whether you stay inside or not people will still visit and your H could bring the same germs home from work. And if you think that the doctors visits are okay but going outside is not, you are crazy, doctors offices are FULL of sicknesses.

missy68

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_judge-30?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:9f014215-4d82-48c6-95e0-7893fac77473Post:0fcfe09f-e534-49c9-949b-a310afa9e1bb">Re: I Judge</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I Judge : nothing crazy haha, he owns a pizza shop. the reason it embarasses me is because he'll have sauce/flour and stuff on him and still run to the grocery store or whatever and i feel like people assume he's just a slob or something, not that he's coming from work.
Posted by jaycee7389[/QUOTE]

Huh. Good thing your BF isn't my H then. He stops at the store for me on the way home from work at night with grease on his face and dirt in his hair sometimes. His clothes are clean; he keeps his uniforms at work, but still - that seems pretty judgy. But - it is an I Judge.  So, I judge this judge.

baystateapple

I'm not a mom (yet), but it seriously aggravates me when moms or moms-to-be judge each other on their decisions to raise their children.  If it works for you and your baby and it isn't anything that can be construed as child abuse, then why the hell should you have to justify it?

I think I mainly get up-in-arms about this because my mom works on a maternity ward and tells me all these stories of nurses bullying new moms, or new moms bullying each other over their personal decisions concerning how to raise their new babies.  It's stupid.

pinkpinot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_judge-30?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9f014215-4d82-48c6-95e0-7893fac77473Post:153bfc44-a95d-40eb-b1c9-4e0331931f5e">Re: I Judge</a>:
[QUOTE]I judge about 95% of the people that live in my county because they refuse to spay/neuter their pets, refuse to properly care for their pets, and see them as things to be trashed whenever they feel like it. ARGH.
Posted by MelissaAnne88[/QUOTE]

I like you.

Beachy730

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_judge-30?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9f014215-4d82-48c6-95e0-7893fac77473Post:e0b5d785-b1fb-4c40-b1db-62d27577b384">Re: I Judge</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I Judge : THIS. We went to visit my mom and things like that but we didn't go out in true "public" until they were about 8 weeks. And by that I mean church, bar b ques, zoo, etc.
Posted by scottswife1106[/QUOTE]

<div>Just so you know, your baby was probably exposed to more germs being in your mom's house and having other people hold him/her than baby Edmund was tucked inside the Ergo with the cover over it.  She actually had to lean forward and lower the Ergo just so I could see his face for a second.  </div>

Meg1036

My mom took me camping at 4 weeks, and bathed me in the campground sink.  It was by a lake, and apparently the sound of the water made me sleep through the night, and I was quite a hit at the campground.

Thank you for clarfying that a vacation my family has pleaseant memories of was a major mothering fail, since my mom and I were apparently too delicate to be out and about.

And note that I said mothering fail, because all the judgement here has been on mothers, and I hate that.  Maybe we should judge fathers for going back to work, making it impossible for mothers to leave their houses without their newborns.  Ridiculous?  Yes.  On par with what you're judging? also yes.

katieisawesome

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_judge-30?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9f014215-4d82-48c6-95e0-7893fac77473Post:2acd5b60-1d03-45c1-95b7-fade1d19f8df">Re: I Judge</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I Judge : I just feel like it's only 6 weeks. Yeah it's hard to stay in the house, but when I see newborns at the movie theater, I really have to ask is it that serious??? I am not a "germaphobe" at all, my sister actually thinks I should be more of one.
Posted by scottswife1106[/QUOTE]

<div>There is a huge difference between taking a 3 week old infant to the MOVIES and "going out in public" FFS.</div><div>
</div><div>There is no reason a new mom shouldn't leave the house for 6 weeks and there is no reason a baby can't leave the house for 6 weeks.  You are getting flamed because you are being ridiculous.</div>

georgia_bride09

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_judge-30?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:9f014215-4d82-48c6-95e0-7893fac77473Post:df3e48d9-0cd8-4127-82bc-4907ce01a0c6">Re: I Judge</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm not a mom (yet), but it seriously aggravates me when moms or moms-to-be judge each other on their decisions to raise their children.  If it works for you and your baby and it isn't anything that can be construed as child abuse, then why the hell should you have to justify it? I think I mainly get up-in-arms about this because my mom works on a maternity ward and tells me all these stories of nurses bullying new moms, or new moms bullying each other over their personal decisions concerning how to raise their new babies.  It's stupid.
Posted by baystateapple[/QUOTE]

Yeah, this. If you want to take your baby out at 2 weeks, go right ahead. If you want to wait two months, again, go right ahead. It doesn't affect me, so I don't care.

specialk84

A friend of mine just had a baby about seven weeks ago.  Her H and my FI are cousins/best friends, and we see them all the time.  She brought the baby to lunch with my mom, and to the dress store to get her BM dress.  We've also gone out to dinner with the kiddo a few times.  Right now, she and the baby are visiting her grandmother four hours away.

SW, I flame your judge because I think my friend needs to be around people.  She's not particularly extroverted, but her H works long hours, and she's home by herself all the time.  This is her first baby, and PPD is a very real thing.  FI and I are there to help her however and whenever we can.  I would hate for her to become depressed and nobody caught it because she didn't see people.