I Judge

missy68

Yep, scottswife, you're not going to win this one. Not one bit.

Meg1036

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_judge-30?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9f014215-4d82-48c6-95e0-7893fac77473Post:df3e48d9-0cd8-4127-82bc-4907ce01a0c6">Re: I Judge</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm not a mom (yet), but it seriously aggravates me when moms or moms-to-be judge each other on their decisions to raise their children.  If it works for you and your baby and it isn't anything that can be construed as child abuse, then why the hell should you have to justify it? I think I mainly get up-in-arms about this because my mom works on a maternity ward and tells me all these stories of nurses bullying new moms, or new moms bullying each other over their personal decisions concerning how to raise their new babies.  It's stupid.
Posted by baystateapple[/QUOTE]

This.  It's no-one's business how you feed your child, gave birth to your child, sleep-train your child, as long as said child is well cared for.  There's a lot of good ways to raise a child, and no best way.  For someone who's not a mom, I feel really strongly about this.  I feel like mommy-judging is like a bad re-incarnation of middle school that adult women do out of some misplaced sense of superiority.

Snippylynn

I didn't even know you were talking about Ciara, but otherwise, you can pretty much kiss my grits Scottswife.  This is not a reg thing... it's a LIFE thing.  You're ridiculous.

jaycee7389

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_judge-30?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9f014215-4d82-48c6-95e0-7893fac77473Post:551fbcc8-ba61-462d-8e7c-3bf664969d8b">Re: I Judge</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I Judge : Huh. Good thing your BF isn't my H then. He stops at the store for me on the way home from work at night with grease on his face and dirt in his hair sometimes. His clothes are clean; he keeps his uniforms at work, but still - that seems pretty judgy. But - it is an I Judge.  So, I judge this judge.
Posted by missy68[/QUOTE]

<div>well grease on your face means you were obviously working on a car or coming from work. when people see stains/food on other people's clothes i don't think "oh they just came from work" automatically pops into their heads, more like..wow they didn't wash their clothes or are a mess. and i've seen people stare.</div>

baystateapple

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_judge-30?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9f014215-4d82-48c6-95e0-7893fac77473Post:ac66b308-af9a-4a2b-814b-003a1ed44b14">Re: I Judge</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I Judge : This.  It's no-one's business how you feed your child, gave birth to your child, sleep-train your child, as long as said child is well cared for.  There's a lot of good ways to raise a child, and no best way.  For someone who's not a mom, I feel really strongly about this.  <strong>I feel like mommy-judging is like a bad re-incarnation of middle school that adult women do out of some misplaced sense of superiority.</strong>
Posted by Meg1036[/QUOTE]

Mean Girls 3: The Breastfeeding War

georgia_bride09

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_judge-30?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:9f014215-4d82-48c6-95e0-7893fac77473Post:2f96e417-313a-483e-b75d-60619358ef55">Re: I Judge</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I Judge : well grease on your face means you were obviously working on a car or coming from work. when people see stains/food on other people's clothes i don't think "oh they just came from work" automatically pops into their heads, more like..wow they didn't wash their clothes or are a mess. and i've seen people stare.
Posted by jaycee7389[/QUOTE]

If he'd been working for any length of time, he'd smell like pizza and people would know he'd come from a pizza joint.

ahhhitsshannyn

I also kind of judge the dirty clothes BF thing. I understand wanting to be clean in public, but seriously, running the the grocery store after work in his clothes EMBARRASSES you?? I think you may need to find a new BF since this one is clearly not up to your standards.

midgetthemighty

I judge people who "wash their hands" only with water and no soap after going to the bathroom.

scottswife1106

I will take the flames. It's my opinion, be it supported here or not.

katieisawesome

I judge some of our clients who make 5+ times more than I do and are filing for bankruptcy.  The ones who haven't had a health crisis or a job loss or downgrade or any other catastrophe and were just insanely irresponsible.  It drives me crazy.

mica178

I was just visiting with a friend yesterday and her 5 week old baby.  They drove from Sacramento to Berkeley to visit my friend's mom.  The baby did fine, the mom did fine, we were all fine.  If we were so worried about germs, no one should touch babies unless they've changed out of their street clothing (covered in germs) into a sterile hospital gown and gloves.  Why don't they do that in hospitals?  That's something we can control, but when it's written in black and white, it sounds ridiculous too.

Oh, and I just realized who the reg is.  Nope, I'm not defending her in my post because she's a reg.  I'm defending all mothers who occasionally need to leave the house with their baby.

[Deleted User]

Jaycee, I doubt people care as much as you think they do. Especially if like PP said, he smells like a pizza place (which is probably an awesome smell, by the way).

My H is a landscaper. By the end of the day, he's covered in sweat, dirt and grass stains, and usually there are spots of blood on his shirt because the man can't go a day without cutting himself on a branch or tool. It's never dawned on me to be embarassed when he stops into a store quick to grab something because he might be dirty. He'll, I've gone in with him when he's filthy.

missy68

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_judge-30?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:9f014215-4d82-48c6-95e0-7893fac77473Post:2f96e417-313a-483e-b75d-60619358ef55">Re: I Judge</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I Judge : well grease on your face means you were obviously working on a car or coming from work. when people see stains/food on other people's clothes i don't think "oh they just came from work" automatically pops into their heads, more like..wow they didn't wash their clothes or are a mess. and i've seen people stare.
Posted by jaycee7389[/QUOTE]

Still not a good reason. As Georgia said, he'd smell like pizza, probably have on a pizzaria shirt, and dammit - he has a frigging job.

For all people know, my husband's been playing around with his ATV or dirt bike and smeared grease on his face, and didn't bother to wipe it off. That would put him in the lazy category. But no - he is coming from work, just like yours. MEN DONT CARE. If it doesn't bother him, don't let it bother you.

Beachy730

Jaycee I really don't think your judge is that bad.  I worked at a pizza place for 6 years, and whoever was making the actual pizzas would be covered in flour and cornmeal, and have it caked in places they didn't even realize.  So I totally get how bad it can be.  I used to drive my boss home sometimes if his wife had left early, and my seat would always be covered in flour after he got out.  However, if H is going to run to the store for me so I don't have to I really won't care.

specialk84

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_judge-30?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9f014215-4d82-48c6-95e0-7893fac77473Post:c496166a-c596-47e5-b496-f8dd1016b5d2">Re: I Judge</a>:
[QUOTE]I judge people who "wash their hands" only with water and no soap after going to the bathroom.
Posted by midgetthemighty[/QUOTE]

<div>Ew.  They usually only get them slightly wet, too.  Ick.</div><div>
</div>

Bubbalub

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_judge-30?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9f014215-4d82-48c6-95e0-7893fac77473Post:6bd0ef2b-a638-435a-813a-3357fef58f7f">Re: I Judge</a>:
[QUOTE]Anna, that blog!!  Holy cripes she is stupid. If anyone is interested, it's <a href="http://www.prebabyblog.com" rel='nofollow'>http://www.prebabyblog.com</a> She is out of her f'ing mind.  I don't care if she's pretty.
Posted by RobotLegs[/QUOTE]

Yes!  I read that blog the other day, along with the thread on 1st tri when she posted and my jaw was on the floor the whole time. I sent it to my sis and friend to read and my friend responded with this:
<em>
The only way this would be funny is if when she was down to her last trimester, she was plane wrecked on the outer Mongolian Step and forced to give birth with natives, surrounded buy herd anamials in a yurt and have the umbilical cord bitten off the placenta by a toothless old woman who then fryed it in yak butter and makes her eat it.</em>

I judge the pp in this thread that said new mothers shouldn't leave the house while they are still bleeding. Are you f'n kidding me? Should we also all go to the red tent when we are menstruating?

jaycee7389

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_judge-30?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9f014215-4d82-48c6-95e0-7893fac77473Post:02ffaa5d-4278-498b-8b33-fa8b49d30264">Re: I Judge</a>:
[QUOTE]I also kind of judge the dirty clothes BF thing. I understand wanting to be clean in public, but seriously, running the the grocery store after work in his clothes EMBARRASSES you?? I think you may need to find a new BF since this one is clearly not up to your standards.
Posted by ahhhitsshannyn[/QUOTE]

<div>i judge you for that comment..that was a little much. and idc if he goes out on his own, i just mean when he comes with me and has stains all over his clothes. it's not like i refuse to let him come out or make a big deal, it's just kind of embarrassing. sue me.</div>

laurenclaire1386

I used to get off work from bartending smelling like a distillery and I always worried that people thought I had been drinking the booze instead of serving it.

sarabellam

Yep, going to jump on the judging scottswife bandwagon. Are you really an AE for kristin789? Because she certainly had some antiquated notions about a "woman's place," too. The child is exposed to a helluva lot fewer germs in church or being pushed around the mall in a stroller than in the hospital or dr's office.

And Georgia, congrats!

Mrs.B6302007

I took BB to Target at 5 days old. I didn't go alone (my mom went with me) but I needed to get out of the house and pick up a few things and I needed to get out of the house to get some fresh air for a bit. Strangers didn't attempt to touch her (I wore her in the Sleepy Wrap).  And you know what? It felt darn good to have people compliment her for being so pretty and me for doing so well 5 days PP.   When she was 8 or 10 days old (forget which), we all got together at my parent's house for Father's Day.  Hormones go crazy during those first PP weeks and the last thing a new mom needs is to be trapped in her own house for 6 weeks with no socialization.  And using your PP bleeding as a gauge for when to go out?  That's stupid. 

RobotLegs

Meh, I'd probably be slightly embarrassed if H was all dirty after work and we had to go run an errand.  Not like 'OMG I'M DYYYYING' but just kinda ew.

The Mel and Todd Show

FFS, scottswife. It's like you follow some posting checklist: post an obnoxious opinion/rant, follow up initial flames with previously omitted information, backpedal, rinse, repeat.

ShakeUpTampa

Ohh let me add...I judge people who leave pee on the seat in public restrooms and I judge those that don't wash because no one is there to "watch them" yet you see them leave the stall and walk right out...bleh

kate51485

Honestly I'm not sure why not wanting him to be covered in food while walking around in public is so re-judge worthy. Frankly, when my chef FI gets out of work sometimes, the smell on his coat is quite pungent depending on what he's been working with, and I'd rather that he not be traipsing about like that. So. I don't see what the big deal is.

Speaking of food, I judge people who can't pronounce Chipotle correctly.

Mrs.B6302007

Oh, and we did an 11 hour road trip at 7 weeks PP.  I did fine and so did BB.

specialk84

I used to work in a restaurant kitchen and always smelled like food.  FI noticed that I always left bleu cheese residue in his car, since I always managed to drop some, step in it, then drag it all over the place.

Once, I spilled a vat of au jus.  Most of it landed on me, and the cat and dog wouldn't leave me alone.

Stackeye210

I used to work at a Mexican restaurant.  I'd leave work in my ugly shirt and fiesta theme tie smelling like an enchilada.  I think that's way worse b/c I just stunk and you didn't really know why. 

scottswife1106

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_judge-30?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:9f014215-4d82-48c6-95e0-7893fac77473Post:51b1aa67-3c57-4fef-bb69-1492b4177f49">Re: I Judge</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I Judge : Yes!  I read that blog the other day, along with the thread on 1st tri when she posted and my jaw was on the floor the whole time. I sent it to my sis and friend to read and my friend responded with this: The only way this would be funny is if when she was down to her last trimester, she was plane wrecked on the outer Mongolian Step and forced to give birth with natives, surrounded buy herd anamials in a yurt and have the umbilical cord bitten off the placenta by a toothless old woman who then fryed it in yak butter and makes her eat it. I judge the pp in this thread that said new mothers shouldn't leave the house while they are still bleeding. Are you f'n kidding me? <strong>Should we also all go to the red tent when we are menstruating?
</strong>Posted by Bubbalub[/QUOTE]

Not at all. When I had my children, I went out only when I had to, while I was bleeding because of the stuff that was coming out of me. I was just not comfortable anywhere but home or at my mom's which is where I went after I had my daughter because I couldn't do the stairs in my house.

mica178

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_judge-30?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:9f014215-4d82-48c6-95e0-7893fac77473Post:79805bef-be9a-4ee2-a830-6af322fe1ecd">Re: I Judge</a>:
[QUOTE]Ohh let me add...I judge people who leave pee on the seat in public restrooms and I judge those that don't want because no one is there to "watch them" yet you see them leave the stall and walk right out...bleh
Posted by ShakeUpTampa[/QUOTE]

Ew.  Yeah, I judge that too.

midgetthemighty

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_judge-30?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:9f014215-4d82-48c6-95e0-7893fac77473Post:f2e15a10-f4e5-4c57-848d-0e11325ff9ab">Re: I Judge</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I Judge : Ew.  They usually only get them slightly wet, too.  Ick.
Posted by specialk84[/QUOTE]

Yeah I know. Makes me sick. At my dad's office the boss never even gets his hands wet after going to the bathroom. Yeah, that's right...doesn't even wash them or get them wet.