Wow - um.. I had no idea strip clubs could get that expensive. H wants to take one of his buddies to Vegas for his b-party, but you can be sure we'll be discussing budget before they go. I'd have some serious questions about his judgement in thinking it was an okay thing to just hand someone in a strip club a credit card.
I'd have a harder time with the $$ thing than the fact that they went to a strip club or were in the back room. With that many people it was probably pretty harmless, but expensive.
This is going to come off insenstively. I don't mean it that way.
But.
NO ONE can make you do ANYTHING, especially in terms of your finances, where you go, who is back where, and how long you stay. Saying you had to sign things, or sign up for things just to get these pesky strippers off you is BS.
Not to mention blindly handing over your credit card to someone.
I am sorry for you and that you're going through this, but if it were my husband, I wouldn't be buyin' his lines either, and I'd be pissed.
And I don't even care about strip clubs at bachelor parties. Whatever, it happens, but this is epic irresponsibility.
If Noodle put $9,700 on our credit card from a strip club and actually signed for the receipts his sh*t would be on fire in our front yard. He signed and so he very well might be SOL. Your FI needs to learn to man up and not worry about being the "uptight" one, especially if "uptight" means not handing over a credit card on an open ended tab at a damn strip club.
If I wanted to hear the pitter-patter of little feet, I'd put shoes on the cat.
This is part of the reason why, in elementary school, they spend so much time teaching people to say no.
NO MEANS NO.
This is all just like saying...yeah, i didn't mean to touch her, I just tripped on a rug and fell, and my hands just landed all over her ass!
Yeah, I didn't mean to hand over my credit card and be ushered into a private room with strippers, they MADE us, and all of a sudden I have a huge credit card bill!
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_vent-advice-welcome-ae?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:bb35af4c-b0a6-463f-853d-24763947d880Post:51f741b7-6039-4d41-b15d-a6db862e05ef">Re: Vent - advice welcome (AE)</a>: [QUOTE]This is going to come off insenstively. I don't mean it that way. But. NO ONE can make you do ANYTHING, especially in terms of your finances, where you go, who is back where, and how long you stay. Saying you had to sign things, or sign up for things just to get these pesky strippers off you is BS. Not to mention blindly handing over your credit card to someone. I am sorry for you and that you're going through this, but if it were my husband, I wouldn't be buyin' his lines either, and I'd be pissed. And I don't even care about strip clubs at bachelor parties. Whatever, it happens, but this is epic irresponsibility. IM A JERK, OK!? Posted by crfische[/QUOTE]
I totally agree with all of this. Holy crap that is a lot of money! I get that strip clubs try to sell you things, but for the love of God you say NO!
Add me to the jerk club. Sorry, but it seems pretty obvious that if you're getting VIP treatment and have an open tab at a strip club that they're making a pretty penny off of you.
There's no sex in the champagne room, but there is champagne, that's why it's named that. Apparently that costs $1000. Andplusalso, you never answered, did they drink the champagne? Did they just think they were getting free drinks?
At what point do you stop taking stupidity as an excuse and hold him accountable 100% that he was up in there not handling his manhood?
I'm not saying he was bad, but he handed over his man card and got punked by some strippers. You deserve every last dollar if you let them holler.
Oh my gosh OP I really haven't anything more than add, other than I am so sorry it happened.
I think once it's settles it down I would have a heart to heart with my FI because that's not chump change. I know everyone makes mistakes and Lord knows my FI isn't perfect but I would be so angry at him for just handing over his credit card or debit card. It's one thing to want to be the nice guy and I get that but if you can't afford it and you're not paying attention then just don't.
As for the trust thing, those places are a lot tamer than you'd think. My FI is going to one for his bachelor party (after reading this though i'm taking his cc's away! and giving him cash! he is in credit card debt anyways from a few months back when his truck messed up and his gas card)
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_vent-advice-welcome-ae?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:bb35af4c-b0a6-463f-853d-24763947d880Post:0c6a64d7-1b95-4a59-aaa2-8742800b5576">Re: Vent - advice welcome (AE)</a>: [QUOTE]Dumdum, I know this is what you meant: "I'm in the jerk circle! FUUCK YEAH!" Posted by crfische[/QUOTE]
I'm on Team Fishy/Jerk Circle here. I'm better than H at saying no to things and not being taken advantage of, but he's been to enough strip clubs back in the day to know what the VIP room means. And I guess common sense + watching movies + hearing stories makes me know enough not to give my credit card at a strip club. That place is cash only in my book.
Mari - chances are your FI won't be paying a red cent at his bach party since his GMs and friends will be buying the lap dances for him. After reading this post, I would probably take the CCs away, too, though!!
"Stripping business started in Africa, long time ago, long, long, long time ago, white men went to Africa and saw these beautiful black women, walking around, singing, dancing, living, in the nude.......BUKKED NAKKID, you could see they public asss. This white man went from village to village to seek out these beautiful black woman, watching them from afar, in the nude.......TITTTTIES, ASSSESSS." - Dolla Bill
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_vent-advice-welcome-ae?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:bb35af4c-b0a6-463f-853d-24763947d880Post:c251907d-7cb4-42cf-b5c8-20b3f19d7e14">Re: Vent - advice welcome (AE)</a>: [QUOTE]Just so you guys know, you idiots, I am charging you ALL for every time you use JERK CIRCLE. Irresponsible, you are. And I see you there drinking champagne. That's another 50 dollars a glass. This is a sweet business. Posted by crfische[/QUOTE]
<div>Thanks for disclosing those fees! Whoo!</div>
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_vent-advice-welcome-ae?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:bb35af4c-b0a6-463f-853d-24763947d880Post:2189b9c7-4cd4-498a-912b-21c0a6bf6cf6">Re: Vent - advice welcome (AE)</a>: [QUOTE]OK, I'm sorry, but I would be worrying about your FI's common sense and life skills and not whether or not he touched a stripper's boobies. Who just hands out their credit card at the strip club? What did he think was going to happen? Of course they charged him for all kinds of ridiculous crap. It sounds like he pretty much gave them the go-ahead. My H has been to strip clubs for multiple bachelor parties (including his own) and the people at the club always try to get the guys to go into the private room or to buy the groom a lap dance. It's how these things work. Luckily he never fell for it. Posted by annakb8[/QUOTE]
You read my mind, Anna. The lack of sense is astounding.
Sorry for the delayed response, ive been trying to get in here to post on my phone and its being a PIA. Yes, its joint money, so I'm extra pissed. And you're not jerks, you're saying exactly what I'm thinking. Gahhh I'm still so mad
True story, one time Sting came into the club I worked at. He was in VIP and I snuck in to see him. I saw his hands on some boobies, that was about all I could see. It was still pretty awesome.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_vent-advice-welcome-ae?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:bb35af4c-b0a6-463f-853d-24763947d880Post:7cbdedaa-2446-4d20-9adb-b8c902b7e5d3">Re: Vent - advice welcome (AE)</a>: [QUOTE]I'm on Team Fishy/Jerk Circle here. I'm better than H at saying no to things and not being taken advantage of, but he's been to enough strip clubs back in the day to know what the VIP room means. And I guess common sense + watching movies + hearing stories makes me know enough not to give my credit card at a strip club. That place is cash only in my book.<strong> Mari - chances are your FI won't be paying a red cent at his bach party since his GMs and friends will be buying the lap dances for him. After reading this post, I would probably take the CCs away, too, though!! ;)</strong> Posted by AmethystMSU[/QUOTE]
Haha I know and i'm fine with that! Cannot be too careful!
Yeah i'm sure FI knows the deal at the strip clubs, he used to go a lot when he was younger as well.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_vent-advice-welcome-ae?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:bb35af4c-b0a6-463f-853d-24763947d880Post:e91a59f5-6835-4126-a2b5-042cf2290920">Re: Vent - advice welcome (AE)</a>: [QUOTE]There's no sex in the champagne room, but there is champagne, that's why it's named that. Apparently that costs $1000. Andplusalso, you never answered, did they drink the champagne? Did they just think they were getting free drinks? At what point do you stop taking stupidity as an excuse and hold him accountable 100% that he was up in there not handling his manhood? I'm not saying he was bad, but he handed over his man card and got punked by some strippers. You deserve every last dollar if you let them holler. Posted by Stackeye210[/QUOTE]
I totally agree with this and I doubt you are getting the whole story, exactly as it happened. Seeing as he signed the bill, I don't see how you argue over it now. I'm sure the club has had to defend this practice or type of thing before. This is why you take CASH to the strip club. Again, sorry and it sucks but.. yeah. : (
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_vent-advice-welcome-ae?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:bb35af4c-b0a6-463f-853d-24763947d880Post:7e31583e-7b0f-4827-8732-45f1305751fb">Re: Vent - advice welcome (AE)</a>: [QUOTE]Sorry for the delayed response, ive been trying to get in here to post on my phone and its being a PIA. Yes, its joint money, so I'm extra pissed. And you're not jerks, you're saying exactly what I'm thinking. Gahhh I'm still so mad Posted by tulsagirl24[/QUOTE]
Oh heck no! I'm sorry but I would be livid! Gosh this makes me angry for you.
Guys, I went on a stripper boat. A FOFFING BOAT. I was tricked into getting on in a strange city where I knew nobody. I was the one of 2 girls on the boat that was NOT a stripper. It was so awkward, and I saw things put places I never thought were possible, and things squirted out of places I never thought possible. Crazy.
Re: Vent - advice welcome (AE)
I'm doing Team in Training for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society!
But.
NO ONE can make you do ANYTHING, especially in terms of your finances, where you go, who is back where, and how long you stay. Saying you had to sign things, or sign up for things just to get these pesky strippers off you is BS.
Not to mention blindly handing over your credit card to someone.
I am sorry for you and that you're going through this, but if it were my husband, I wouldn't be buyin' his lines either, and I'd be pissed.
And I don't even care about strip clubs at bachelor parties. Whatever, it happens, but this is epic irresponsibility.
IM A JERK, OK!?
Vacation with Alix, Andy, Mandy, and FLORENCE. AND HER MACHINE.
The Margarita Evolution
generic blog link.
Vacation with Alix, Andy, Mandy, and FLORENCE. AND HER MACHINE.
The Margarita Evolution
NO MEANS NO.
This is all just like saying...yeah, i didn't mean to touch her, I just tripped on a rug and fell, and my hands just landed all over her ass!
Yeah, I didn't mean to hand over my credit card and be ushered into a private room with strippers, they MADE us, and all of a sudden I have a huge credit card bill!
Huh. Wonder how that happened.
Vacation with Alix, Andy, Mandy, and FLORENCE. AND HER MACHINE.
The Margarita Evolution
There's a lot of jerking off in this here thread about strippers. Stop being insensitive, guys.
Vacation with Alix, Andy, Mandy, and FLORENCE. AND HER MACHINE.
The Margarita Evolution
[QUOTE]This is going to come off insenstively. I don't mean it that way. But. NO ONE can make you do ANYTHING, especially in terms of your finances, where you go, who is back where, and how long you stay. Saying you had to sign things, or sign up for things just to get these pesky strippers off you is BS. Not to mention blindly handing over your credit card to someone. I am sorry for you and that you're going through this, but if it were my husband, I wouldn't be buyin' his lines either, and I'd be pissed. And I don't even care about strip clubs at bachelor parties. Whatever, it happens, but this is epic irresponsibility. IM A JERK, OK!?
Posted by crfische[/QUOTE]
I totally agree with all of this. Holy crap that is a lot of money! I get that strip clubs try to sell you things, but for the love of God you say NO!
Vacation with Alix, Andy, Mandy, and FLORENCE. AND HER MACHINE.
The Margarita Evolution
I think once it's settles it down I would have a heart to heart with my FI because that's not chump change. I know everyone makes mistakes and Lord knows my FI isn't perfect but I would be so angry at him for just handing over his credit card or debit card. It's one thing to want to be the nice guy and I get that but if you can't afford it and you're not paying attention then just don't.
As for the trust thing, those places are a lot tamer than you'd think. My FI is going to one for his bachelor party (after reading this though i'm taking his cc's away! and giving him cash! he is in credit card debt anyways from a few months back when his truck messed up and his gas card)
generic blog link.
[QUOTE]Dumdum, I know this is what you meant: "I'm in the jerk circle! FUUCK YEAH!"
Posted by crfische[/QUOTE]
<div>You know it!</div>
Irresponsible, you are.
And I see you there drinking champagne. That's another 50 dollars a glass.
This is a sweet business.
Vacation with Alix, Andy, Mandy, and FLORENCE. AND HER MACHINE.
The Margarita Evolution
Mari - chances are your FI won't be paying a red cent at his bach party since his GMs and friends will be buying the lap dances for him. After reading this post, I would probably take the CCs away, too, though!!
[QUOTE]Just so you guys know, you idiots, I am charging you ALL for every time you use JERK CIRCLE. Irresponsible, you are. And I see you there drinking champagne. That's another 50 dollars a glass. This is a sweet business.
Posted by crfische[/QUOTE]
<div>Thanks for disclosing those fees! Whoo!</div>
[QUOTE]OK, I'm sorry, but I would be worrying about your FI's common sense and life skills and not whether or not he touched a stripper's boobies. Who just hands out their credit card at the strip club? What did he think was going to happen? Of course they charged him for all kinds of ridiculous crap. It sounds like he pretty much gave them the go-ahead. My H has been to strip clubs for multiple bachelor parties (including his own) and the people at the club always try to get the guys to go into the private room or to buy the groom a lap dance. It's how these things work. Luckily he never fell for it.
Posted by annakb8[/QUOTE]
You read my mind, Anna. The lack of sense is astounding.
[QUOTE]I'm on Team Fishy/Jerk Circle here. I'm better than H at saying no to things and not being taken advantage of, but he's been to enough strip clubs back in the day to know what the VIP room means. And I guess common sense + watching movies + hearing stories makes me know enough not to give my credit card at a strip club. That place is cash only in my book.<strong> Mari - chances are your FI won't be paying a red cent at his bach party since his GMs and friends will be buying the lap dances for him. After reading this post, I would probably take the CCs away, too, though!! ;)</strong>
Posted by AmethystMSU[/QUOTE]
Haha I know and i'm fine with that! Cannot be too careful!
Yeah i'm sure FI knows the deal at the strip clubs, he used to go a lot when he was younger as well.
[QUOTE]There's no sex in the champagne room, but there is champagne, that's why it's named that. Apparently that costs $1000. Andplusalso, you never answered, did they drink the champagne? Did they just think they were getting free drinks? At what point do you stop taking stupidity as an excuse and hold him accountable 100% that he was up in there not handling his manhood? I'm not saying he was bad, but he handed over his man card and got punked by some strippers. You deserve every last dollar if you let them holler.
Posted by Stackeye210[/QUOTE]
I totally agree with this and I doubt you are getting the whole story, exactly as it happened.
Seeing as he signed the bill, I don't see how you argue over it now. I'm sure the club has had to defend this practice or type of thing before.
This is why you take CASH to the strip club.
Again, sorry and it sucks but.. yeah. : (
[QUOTE]Sorry for the delayed response, ive been trying to get in here to post on my phone and its being a PIA. Yes, its joint money, so I'm extra pissed. And you're not jerks, you're saying exactly what I'm thinking. Gahhh I'm still so mad
Posted by tulsagirl24[/QUOTE]
Oh heck no! I'm sorry but I would be livid! Gosh this makes me angry for you.