Vent - advice welcome (AE)

AmethystMSU

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_vent-advice-welcome-ae?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:bb35af4c-b0a6-463f-853d-24763947d880Post:cc28da94-cbcc-46b8-b54b-93079ece9719">Re: Vent - advice welcome (AE)</a>:
[QUOTE]Sting is awesome. Sting is allowed to touch boobies. The grossest thing I remember seeing is a young lady blowing a dollar bill into the air off off of her hoo-ha. <strong>It was both impressive and disgusting.
</strong>Posted by rachers1017[/QUOTE]
That's exactly how I would feel.

raypoppins

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_vent-advice-welcome-ae?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:bb35af4c-b0a6-463f-853d-24763947d880Post:cc28da94-cbcc-46b8-b54b-93079ece9719">Re: Vent - advice welcome (AE)</a>:
[QUOTE]Sting is awesome. Sting is allowed to touch boobies. The grossest thing I remember seeing is a young lady blowing a dollar bill into the air off off of her hoo-ha. It was both impressive and disgusting.
Posted by rachers1017[/QUOTE]

But I'm sure she's just paying her way through college, so it's ok

RamonaFlowers

I'm a jerk, too, I guess. If DH told me he racked up $10K in charges at a strip club after just blindly handing his card over to a couple of strippers ... not going to lie, I'd probably have a good case for pleading temporary insanity.

Sorry that this is happening to you, OP, but seriously. The guy just handed the card over and then signed the receipts. That was a really, really stupid thing to do, and you should definitely be more concerned about the cc than about whether or not he got to cop a feel. He may not have wanted to be a stick in the mud, but like Fischy pointed out, he's an adult, nobody held a gun to his head and forced him to do any of that stuff.

mari0225

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_vent-advice-welcome-ae?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:bb35af4c-b0a6-463f-853d-24763947d880Post:16171ad3-27ac-4da2-a09b-eaefd5b21120">Re: Vent - advice welcome (AE)</a>:
[QUOTE]It was a production company for television commercials. The clients were the agency from BBDO New York. The owner wanted to "impress the boys". The company he owned went out of business and of course this was probably 8 years ago back when the budgets from commercials was pretty high. He handed the bill to the accountants and expected them to "cover it" on the job. Also, I want to say that no strip club anywhere is "tame". I was friends with a girl that used to work at a strip bar and she has told me that all sorts of things go on in the back rooms. <strong>Certainly not every stripper gives out HJs or BJs in the back but she told me that there are plenty that do.</strong> I would be pretty angry if my H thought it was okay to go hang out privately with half naked women and rub them up and down. It would be time for the come to Jesus talk for sure.
Posted by spikeinc[/QUOTE]

Gosh now i'm getting nervous. Maybe I should go with him to one before his bach party (which is months away of course)? I have never been to one so I don't know what goes on. I know there are some here where it's illegal to touch the girls and they won't serve alcohol because it's full nudity.

kcscejal

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_vent-advice-welcome-ae?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:bb35af4c-b0a6-463f-853d-24763947d880Post:4600e59a-140d-4970-9c2a-02a059e3eef5">Re: Vent - advice welcome (AE)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Vent - advice welcome (AE) : Gosh now i'm getting nervous. Maybe I should go with him to one before his bach party (which is months away of course)? I have never been to one so I don't know what goes on. I know there are some here where it's illegal to touch the girls and they won't serve alcohol because it's full nudity.
Posted by mari0225[/QUOTE]
I would just tell him you don't mind him going, but do not feel comfortable with him receiving any lap dances or going into any back rooms.  I'm sure he'll respect your wishes.

lbarr088

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_vent-advice-welcome-ae?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:bb35af4c-b0a6-463f-853d-24763947d880Post:4600e59a-140d-4970-9c2a-02a059e3eef5">Re: Vent - advice welcome (AE)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Vent - advice welcome (AE) : Gosh now i'm getting nervous. Maybe I should go with him to one before his bach party (which is months away of course)? I have never been to one so I don't know what goes on. I know there are some here where it's illegal to touch the girls and they won't serve alcohol because it's full nudity.
Posted by mari0225[/QUOTE]

<div>I was just thinking the same thing.  I am totally fine with it but now I wonder... get a big boobed bimbo (i have A- cups... yes A-)  in front of him and the boys that want to do a little something special, then I dont know how I feel about them anymore...</div>

eorea

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_vent-advice-welcome-ae?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:bb35af4c-b0a6-463f-853d-24763947d880Post:16171ad3-27ac-4da2-a09b-eaefd5b21120">Re: Vent - advice welcome (AE)</a>:
[QUOTE]It was a production company for television commercials. The clients were the agency from BBDO New York. The owner wanted to "impress the boys". The company he owned went out of business and of course this was probably 8 years ago back when the budgets from commercials were pretty high. He handed the bill to the accountants and expected them to "cover it" on the job. <strong>Also, I want to say that no strip club anywhere is "tame".</strong> I was friends with a girl that used to work at a strip bar and she has told me that all sorts of things go on in the back rooms. Certainly not every stripper gives out HJs or BJs in the back but she told me that there are plenty that do. I would be pretty angry if my H thought it was okay to go hang out privately with half naked women and rub them up and down. It would be time for the come to Jesus talk for sure.
Posted by spikeinc[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I disagree, somewhat. I am sure lots are tame but there are a lot that aren't. A lot of the strip clubs I know of do extra "stuff". </div><div>
</div><div>Even though it is illegal to touch them a lot of them allow it. 

</div>

raypoppins

Mari, he would have to ask for things like that or agree to it if it was offered to him. If you trust him, I wouldn't worry about it. The one I worked at very seldom had things like that go on. If all he wants is a lap dance or to watch the girls on stage, that's what he will get. Not every stripper is a whore.

I guess I'm on the I don't get the big deal about strip clubs couch with Rach.

annakb8

Stacks, I remember you telling that story before. I would have probably died of horror. 

raypoppins

I did once witness one stripper punch another in the face. Then about 10 minutes later they were smoking a cig together like old times.

mari0225

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_vent-advice-welcome-ae?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:bb35af4c-b0a6-463f-853d-24763947d880Post:efae7251-3dae-4c89-b358-333e2e95c20e">Re: Vent - advice welcome (AE)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Vent - advice welcome (AE) : I would just tell him you don't mind him going, but do not feel comfortable with him receiving any lap dances or going into any back rooms.  I'm sure he'll respect your wishes.
Posted by kcscejal[/QUOTE]

Okay thanks, I tell him that I would feel better if he kept it out of the back rooms.

AmethystMSU

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_vent-advice-welcome-ae?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:bb35af4c-b0a6-463f-853d-24763947d880Post:4600e59a-140d-4970-9c2a-02a059e3eef5">Re: Vent - advice welcome (AE)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Vent - advice welcome (AE) : Gosh now i'm getting nervous. Maybe I should go with him to one before his bach party (which is months away of course)? I have never been to one so I don't know what goes on. I know there are some here where it's illegal to touch the girls and they won't serve alcohol because it's full nudity.
Posted by mari0225[/QUOTE]
Just explain to your FI what you are and what you are not comfortable with happening at his bach party. HJs, BJs, etc. I'm sure are out of the question. Tell him you want him to have fun but at the same time HJs, BJs, etc. are cheating and cheating will not be tolerated.

mari0225

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_vent-advice-welcome-ae?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:bb35af4c-b0a6-463f-853d-24763947d880Post:cbffb95f-f040-45b9-ad1f-396c722c8786">Re: Vent - advice welcome (AE)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Vent - advice welcome (AE) : I was just thinking the same thing.  I am totally fine with it but now I wonder... get a big boobed bimbo (i have A- cups... yes A-)  in front of him and the boys that want to do a little something special, then I dont know how I feel about them anymore...
Posted by lbarr088[/QUOTE]

Yeah, I would just do like some suggested just ask him to keep it out of the back rooms. He loves you and he'll respect your wishes. And he loves your A-Cups too i'm sure :)

ETA: I swear I didn't mean that in a weird/creepy way

Stackeye210

mari just tell him the back rooms are $2000 an hour, that'll keep him out of them!  AND, take cash.  Problem solved.

Queen Jane

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_vent-advice-welcome-ae?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:bb35af4c-b0a6-463f-853d-24763947d880Post:4c3fa158-07f8-45ac-8eac-1ba7c5805899">Re: Vent - advice welcome (AE)</a>:
[QUOTE]If he can't get the charges reversed/his friends won't help cover it, we'd be having a come to Jesus talk and I'd probably delay the wedding until this little disaster was paid off.
Posted by ILoveMilkDuds[/QUOTE]

This. It would probably take me a long time to not be bitter about it. 10K would set us back in a huge way and everytime I wanted to do something and couldn't, it would continue to piss me off.

eorea

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_vent-advice-welcome-ae?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:bb35af4c-b0a6-463f-853d-24763947d880Post:82f6be80-32df-4759-8b3e-37d02f3744eb">Re: Vent - advice welcome (AE)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Vent - advice welcome (AE) : Which I now realize is what you were saying. But still - I think they are really regulated on that kind of stuff now because the strip club itself could get shut down really easily if they were participating in that.
Posted by rachers1017[/QUOTE]

That is very true but you would be surprised how many don't get shut down for this stuff. I guess that is why they keep doing it. <div>
</div><div>I think it just depends where you go. I definitely wouldn't say there are no tame strip clubs. I am sure there are plenty. Just like there are plenty that aren't so tame.</div>

BecW2be

This thread makes me think about "Very Bad Things" for some reason. At least it was just $10K wasted, and your FI didn't accidentally pierce a hooker's skull with a hotel bathroom towel hook, right?

[Deleted User]

Holy Hera, if H came home with that kind of bill I would go all kinds of apeshiit in a way I've never gone apeshiit before. This makes me kind of happy our CC doesn't even have that high of a limit.

I have to agree with what the others are saying, and I'd have a hard time believing he was so innocent in the entire deal. I also think his friends suck for not covering more of the bill since they too were enjoying the fun.

Luckily H stays out of strip clubs. Because I would kick him in the nuts for going to one (ok, not really, but I would in my head, repeatedly). Strip clubs are my one "no way in hell" things for us.

mari0225

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_vent-advice-welcome-ae?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:bb35af4c-b0a6-463f-853d-24763947d880Post:9353e607-a96e-48d3-906d-37ed8c3d0036">Re: Vent - advice welcome (AE)</a>:
[QUOTE]Mari, he would have to ask for things like that or agree to it if it was offered to him. If you trust him, I wouldn't worry about it. The one I worked at very seldom had things like that go on. If all he wants is a lap dance or to watch the girls on stage, that's what he will get. Not every stripper is a whore. I guess I'm on the I don't get the big deal about strip clubs couch with Rach.
Posted by raypoppins[/QUOTE]

Okay, yeah he said he just wants to go and relax with the guys and watch the girls. I guess i've never been to one, I was so sheltered growing up and even now.

mica178

My first thought was: NEVER use a credit card at a strip club.  (Yes, that's my PSA.)

My next thoughts were in line with Anna and Fishy.

OP/AE, I'm sorry that you're going through this and that your FI is a bit of an idiot.  Or can't handle his alcohol.  Personally, if H pulled a stunt like that on me while we were engaged, the wedding might have been postponed or cancelled.  I'd be seriously questioning his common sense.  I couldn't handle a man without common sense. 

annakb8

Rach, I've never particularly had a desire to go to a stip club before, but now I think I kind of want to go to one with you. 

Juris11

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_vent-advice-welcome-ae?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:bb35af4c-b0a6-463f-853d-24763947d880Post:e5d036e2-cab4-4f35-8a93-70783f7fed1d">Re: Vent - advice welcome (AE)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Vent - advice welcome (AE) : This. It would probably take me a long time to not be bitter about it. 10K would set us back in a huge way and everytime I wanted to do something and couldn't, it would continue to piss me off.
Posted by Queen Jane[/QUOTE]

Oh this too! I could totally see myself saying "Well it would be nice to redo the bathroom, but SOMEBODY spent almost $10,000 at a strip club, so we can't do that now."

AmethystMSU

There is a strip club in Kalamazoo, MI called Little Darlings. Yeah, it creeps me out as much as I bet it's creeping you guys out!!! Ick.

raypoppins

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_vent-advice-welcome-ae?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:bb35af4c-b0a6-463f-853d-24763947d880Post:7fc7e2ad-d9ae-4bbf-9963-addec19c5ecf">Re: Vent - advice welcome (AE)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Vent - advice welcome (AE) : This can be arranged.
Posted by rachers1017[/QUOTE]

I totally want in on this action.

lbarr088

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_vent-advice-welcome-ae?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:bb35af4c-b0a6-463f-853d-24763947d880Post:353944ac-e555-43ab-8642-e0c22c03516d">Re: Vent - advice welcome (AE)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Vent - advice welcome (AE) : Yeah, I would just do like some suggested just ask him to keep it out of the back rooms. He loves you and he'll respect your wishes. And he loves your A-Cups too i'm sure :) ETA: I swear I didn't mean that in a weird/creepy way
Posted by mari0225[/QUOTE]

<div>Haha thanks :)  Yeah he's not the kind to do something crazy but a lot of his guys are wild men.  I'm usually "one of the guys" and go out with them so it'll be weird to not be.</div>

annakb8

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_vent-advice-welcome-ae?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:bb35af4c-b0a6-463f-853d-24763947d880Post:80a6c676-ba18-41f5-9b6b-2975cd267d19">Re: Vent - advice welcome (AE)</a>:
[QUOTE]There is a strip club in Kalamazoo, MI called Little Darlings. Yeah, it creeps me out as much as I bet it's creeping you guys out!!! Ick.
Posted by AmethystMSU[/QUOTE]

<div>All strip clubs have weird/creepy/terrible names. </div>

raypoppins

Like Spearmint Rhino? I don't even want to know where that name came from.

AmethystMSU

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_vent-advice-welcome-ae?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:bb35af4c-b0a6-463f-853d-24763947d880Post:19ca1025-ef53-4fe9-b638-7560a0524654">Re: Vent - advice welcome (AE)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Vent - advice welcome (AE) : All strip clubs have weird/creepy/terrible names. 
Posted by annakb8[/QUOTE]
True. That one creeps me out the most though. The others in West MI (that I know of) are Deja Vu, Sensations, Parkway Tropics, etc. Nothing terrible. But Little Darlings takes the cake.

raypoppins

I think I know what the next TK g2g should be.

kcscejal

Story time.  My ex's friend (male) worked at a strip club.  The sign said gentlemen's club.  When his cousin found out she exclaimed "Wow, I never would have guessed that Bob was gay!".  Apparently she took the term gentlemen's club to mean something a little different.