Vent - advice welcome (AE)

mica178

Mons Venus.

'Nuff said.

mari0225

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_vent-advice-welcome-ae?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:bb35af4c-b0a6-463f-853d-24763947d880Post:14c2704f-6888-4822-abda-ba487151e955">Re: Vent - advice welcome (AE)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Vent - advice welcome (AE) : Haha thanks :)  Yeah he's not the kind to do something crazy but a lot of his guys are wild men.  I'm usually "one of the guys" and go out with them so it'll be weird to not be.
Posted by lbarr088[/QUOTE]

Same with my FI he never goes out and gets drunk, but some of his guys...make me nervous! Yeah same here, it will be so strange to say "Ok have fun." He has promised he'll call me when he gets home since we aren't living together full time yet.

[Deleted User]

We have lots of strip clubs along this one stretch of road we take to get to one of the main roads. Off the top of my head, I can think of Wackos, Cheaters, The Gentlemen's Club, Divas, and Las Amigas (this one is closed, but the sign has been there for like 4 years still).

LDYGTR13

I won't lie - i'm trying to figure out the dollar bill trick Rach saw.

raypoppins

When I started at the club they gave me a form to fill out if I wanted to go by a different name. I never did because I wasn't a dancer, but I kind of wish I had. I could have had a really awesome name.

AmethystMSU

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_vent-advice-welcome-ae?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:bb35af4c-b0a6-463f-853d-24763947d880Post:665cb6df-3738-4627-a402-d68a40b56e09">Re: Vent - advice welcome (AE)</a>:
[QUOTE]We have lots of strip clubs along this one stretch of road we take to get to one of the main roads. Off the top of my head, I can think of Wackos, <strong>Cheaters</strong>, The Gentlemen's Club, Divas, and Las Amigas (this one is closed, but the sign has been there for like 4 years still).
Posted by Seshat411[/QUOTE]
OK that one would piss me off.

LDYGTR13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_vent-advice-welcome-ae?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:bb35af4c-b0a6-463f-853d-24763947d880Post:0d15f108-c091-4c81-921b-b0defb291856">Re: Vent - advice welcome (AE)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Vent - advice welcome (AE) : I totally want in on this action.
Posted by raypoppins[/QUOTE]
Ditto - Rach is fun when she drinks - I can only imagine how much more fun it would be with poles and boobies around.

crfische

Our stripclub is called The Northern. But, downstairs there's a pool hall with really cheap drinks.

Also, where's Ricks when you need her. Unless she's in here and I don't see her, but she'd be able to help you out with knowing if what he was dealing with is standard practice, or if he's lying through his ass.

I'm thinking it's probably the latter.

redheadfsu

I'm on the jerk team too.

Handing over a CC at a place you know that is trying to scam you is the dumbest thing I have heard of. If he accepted services & sign the receipt, well why would they lower the bill?

I really think this is a "we had a ton of fun & I wasn't paying attention because of boobies...oh sh*t I need to make up a story for my wife" tale

I just have to say I love my husband...My guy has only been in the lobby of a strip club as he saw the price list and walked out.

kalpi108

I'm too late to this and obviously it's already been covered, but wow. I feel sorry for you that this happened but your FI showed an unbelievable lack of judgment and responsibility. It'd be bad enough if he did this when single but when he's about to be married and begin a life with someone else, to make a "mistake" like this is beyond me.

I love my friends and family but don't love anyone enough to just hand my credit card over all by myself and not demand to know every last thing I'm being charged for as it's happening and not to say NO if something is ridiculous and unwanted. And I'm with Duds, the whole "getting pulled into the back room" and "paying to get these annoying girls off of us" lines were really weak. Yikes, I'd have to evaluate things because if this were to happen down the line when we're married and possibly have children, I'd be FURIOUS. Actually I can't even find a word that begins to describe it. I get that he feels bad but that doesn't excuse him from a very necessary talk with you about how you both view financial responsibility, awareness, and common life sense. Good luck, OP.

mari0225

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_vent-advice-welcome-ae?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:bb35af4c-b0a6-463f-853d-24763947d880Post:7c999b07-f03d-43ec-bbc0-78a04d0d85db">Re: Vent - advice welcome (AE)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Vent - advice welcome (AE) : OK that one would piss me off.
Posted by AmethystMSU[/QUOTE]

Yeah same here

LDYGTR13

SESH!! I've been to cheaters!! I used to go to all sorts of strip clubs back int he day in Jax with the Rock station! But I never went past the lobby area places. I wasn't 21 - no boiobs for me.

ZombieNates

I just drove past the Player's Club right before reading this. I miss watching that movie at 3 am in college. OP, I'd have waaaaaay more trust issues over the (what seems to me) lies FI is tslling about how culpable he was in spendimg the money, rather than him possibly touching the tatas. Also, I'm with Sesh. While the friends certainly don't have to help, it kind of strikes me as douchey if they don't.

annakb8

Rach, I just remembered on of the big strip clubs in Orlando was called Rachel's, haha. I think it closed though. 

kcscejal

I let LDY touch my boobs and bitch never paid up.

LDYGTR13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_vent-advice-welcome-ae?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:bb35af4c-b0a6-463f-853d-24763947d880Post:b4f0ba15-9753-418e-a313-a519c4457666">Re: Vent - advice welcome (AE)</a>:
[QUOTE]I let LDY touch my boobs and bitch never paid up.
Posted by kcscejal[/QUOTE]
DID I NOT GIVE YOU LOTS OF HUGS, MA'AM!?

Natrasha

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_vent-advice-welcome-ae?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:bb35af4c-b0a6-463f-853d-24763947d880Post:0870555d-acc9-4aa4-a036-4c16b79c7376">Re: Vent - advice welcome (AE)</a>:
[QUOTE]One of the strip clubs in MKE is Art's Performing Center.  The funny thing about that is that there is the MKE Performing Arts Center.  Tourists sometimes get dyslexic and ask where the Arts Performing Center is not meaning Art's.  We always used to get a chuckle out of it. :)
Posted by crfb87[/QUOTE]

Um, YES! Even better that they are mere blocks from each other. I love it.

[Deleted User]

Ha, given the location of Cheaters, I'd bet it's a pretty accurate name too. That stretch of road is skeezy. And there are old, dirty hotels next door. Ew.

kcscejal

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_vent-advice-welcome-ae?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:bb35af4c-b0a6-463f-853d-24763947d880Post:07e00b02-ebbe-4d09-ac24-9ca8aa638354">Re: Vent - advice welcome (AE)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Vent - advice welcome (AE) : DID I NOT GIVE YOU LOTS OF HUGS, MA'AM!?
Posted by LDYGTR13[/QUOTE]
Hugs =/= dolla dolla bills.  But I guess they're pretty much as good.  Plus you let me straddle you.  It's fair I suppose.

LDYGTR13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_vent-advice-welcome-ae?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:bb35af4c-b0a6-463f-853d-24763947d880Post:7c999b07-f03d-43ec-bbc0-78a04d0d85db">Re: Vent - advice welcome (AE)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Vent - advice welcome (AE) : OK that one would piss me off.
Posted by AmethystMSU[/QUOTE]
Why? It' sjust a name. Hooters does not supply or cater to owls.

StephBeanWed61502

I HATE having the stripclubs conversation with my FI... intellectually, I know that I trust him and he wouldn't do anything to undermine our relationship, etc., but every time I picture him at a stripclub looking at a bunch of other girls naked, I feel sick.  I think it's not so much that I'm worried he's going to cheat or anything, it's more that the whole notion that he needs to look to other women for stimulation makes me feel inadequate and useless and ugly.  He's going to one (or more, gotta love his chauvinist cousins!) for his bachelor party, and I'm doing my best to get over it, but I am pretty sure I'm going to have to go away that weekend, because I doubt I'll have the self-control to not punch him when he comes home smelling like a bar and covered in stripper glitter.

kalpi108

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_vent-advice-welcome-ae?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:bb35af4c-b0a6-463f-853d-24763947d880Post:95fbc1a6-ccc7-4eb5-96d1-bf5f1f5becc6">Re: Vent - advice welcome (AE)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Vent - advice welcome (AE) : Why? It' sjust a name. Hooters does not supply or cater to owls.
Posted by LDYGTR13[/QUOTE]

<div>Ha. It'd be funny if in owl world, they do have their own strip clubs and call them Hooters.</div><div>
</div><div>I'm weird.</div><div>
</div><div>Anyway, I've never been to a strip club and I'm okay with that. The only pang of regret I'll feel is knowing I can't see Rach make it rain without limit on a bunch of dancin gals.</div>

mari0225

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_vent-advice-welcome-ae?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:bb35af4c-b0a6-463f-853d-24763947d880Post:2b9069dd-bc5a-4260-be68-7047bdc1a556">Re: Vent - advice welcome (AE)</a>:
[QUOTE]I HATE having the stripclubs conversation with my FI... intellectually, I know that I trust him and he wouldn't do anything to undermine our relationship, etc., but every time I picture him at a stripclub looking at a bunch of other girls naked, I feel sick.  I think it's not so much that I'm worried he's going to cheat or anything, it's more that the whole notion that he needs to look to other women for stimulation makes me feel inadequate and useless and ugly.  He's going to one (or more, gotta love his chauvinist cousins!) for his bachelor party, and I'm doing my best to get over it, but I am pretty sure I'm going to have to go away that weekend, because I doubt I'll have the self-control to not punch him when he comes home smelling like a bar and covered in stripper glitter.
Posted by StephBeanWed61502[/QUOTE]

I'm the same way, I know that he wouldn't do anything he'd regret later or do something to hurt our relationship but yes the whole idea of him in a sea of naked women just makes me gag. Maybe my bachelorette party will be the same night, I know we can't plan our own but can I at least hint to my MOH about the night? No? Okay.

But you ladies were right who gave me advice i'm just going to let him know what's i'm not okay with and trust he'll respect my wishes.

Natrasha

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_vent-advice-welcome-ae?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:bb35af4c-b0a6-463f-853d-24763947d880Post:809c1e13-b3da-4a0f-9637-c1ffa8dd82f2">Re: Vent - advice welcome (AE)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Vent - advice welcome (AE) : OMG!!  I am so happy someone else knows about Art's.  I knew a girl who worked there.  She was good friends with a friend.
Posted by crfb87[/QUOTE]

I've never been in there, but I am in the area quite a bit. I've always wanted to go to Solid Gold on the south side because the gold light-up palm trees look so wonderfully tacky. I've only ever been to Silk though because my coworker gave me a ton (like, 200+) free passes because she plays poker with their marketing person. I am very popular among my male friends.

KarleeKrause35

Ah man, that is some serious shiit.

If Seanzoid came home with a bill that sky-high, I wouldn't be feeling too badly for him while he stared off in the distance berating himself for his stupidity. It IS stupid. If he tried to tell me that "he just wanted the groom to have a good time," I would tell him that he is not Bill Gates. It's sort of like laying on the floor and asking to be kicked. He has to know that when he offers his credit card and tells his friends "I got this one, guys," that he is giving them permission to indulge.
And in that kind of atmosphere, they are NOT going to pull him aside and say "excuse me sir, Do you understand what you're being charged for here?"  I mean, forget that it's a strip club. Do you know of ANY business that would do that?
I wouldn't say they pegged him as a sucker, I think he walked in there with a gigantic bullseye.

I'm hoping for your sake that the club owner has a soft spot, and I'm sorry that you have to go through this.

StephBeanWed61502

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_vent-advice-welcome-ae?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:bb35af4c-b0a6-463f-853d-24763947d880Post:e56d5da2-916e-444c-8acb-0be0bc08847c">Re: Vent - advice welcome (AE)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Vent - advice welcome (AE) : I'm the same way, I know that he wouldn't do anything he'd regret later or do something to hurt our relationship but yes the whole idea of him in a sea of naked women just makes me gag. Maybe my bachelorette party will be the same night, <strong>I know we can't plan our own but can I at least hint to my MOH about the night? No? Okay.</strong> But you ladies were right who gave me advice i'm just going to let him know what's i'm not okay with and trust he'll respect my wishes.
Posted by mari0225[/QUOTE]

I think you could at least mention that it might be convenient to do the parties on the same night.  Your MOH is free to take or reject the suggestion, but I don't know how suggesting a date is any different than suggesting (or suggesting against) a particular activity (i.e. - "please no male strippers" or "no nightclubs" or "don't forget, I really love Bar X").

ootmother2

As LDY informed me the other night, the Wall Street days of "limos and bimbos" are long over but I do remember them. Being the only woman with 200+ guy co workers, it was hard not to.  What I saw back then was so sleezy it was beyond belief. 

Because my name could be either male or female, I got all the solicitations when "Scores" and :"Don's East"opened.  I would call them because I had a young daughter who could pick up the mail and they were more than a little bit graphic even on the outter envelopes.  

Yeah, they really gave a sh!t what I thought.

I have no advice other than here you could get docmentation of the bottle of champagne mentioned.  $1000 is ten times a bottle of Dom and they would have recoreds of when those bottles were used.

Sorry & good luck dealing with this.

staceycaine

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_vent-advice-welcome-ae?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:bb35af4c-b0a6-463f-853d-24763947d880Post:3c96d118-fcb8-48cf-aa5e-5dd4ad181d0f">Re: Vent - advice welcome (AE)</a>:
[QUOTE]I can't say I would feel any differently from you, though I think <strong>I *would* be a upset with FI for so willingly turning over his card without any upfront agreement for what he is paying for.</strong> I'm not even involved in the situation and reading it made me sick to my stomach. I have nothing to add at this point either...
Posted by KellyBrian2013[/QUOTE]

This.

I don't care that the people who will likely be planning my FI's bachelor party are all excited about him being the DD (Seriously. He doesn't drink, so they are PUMPED that they get to party and he gets to take responsibility--and he doesn't mind, so I'm not complaining. I think it's funny.). I don't care that they will probably also go "all out." But I WOULD care if my FI was just handing things over and signing it at the end of the night.

That said, $9,700 is a lot of money to us. It may not be for you. I would be INSANE upset. That is 1/3 of our wedding budget (Actually, it's TWICE what WE are paying, 1/3 of the entire wedding).

I hope for the best, and I DO think they took advantage. But once you sign it...you're donzo. I mean, I would think.

mari0225

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_vent-advice-welcome-ae?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:bb35af4c-b0a6-463f-853d-24763947d880Post:59d3296f-642d-4942-8fd4-6403d78d67ad">Re: Vent - advice welcome (AE)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Vent - advice welcome (AE) : I think you could at least mention that it might be convenient to do the parties on the same night.  Your MOH is free to take or reject the suggestion, but I don't know how suggesting a date is any different than suggesting (or suggesting against) a particular activity (i.e. - "please no male strippers" or "no nightclubs" or "don't forget, I really love Bar X").
Posted by StephBeanWed61502[/QUOTE]

Yeah that's true, from what i've heard they have already gotten together and talked about what they're going to do for me. So maybe i'll just hint on the date and if she can't then she can't and I will just take myself and another friend to the movies the night FI goes out.

kalpi108

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_vent-advice-welcome-ae?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:bb35af4c-b0a6-463f-853d-24763947d880Post:0e4f0a75-25aa-49e8-8568-6e189a8e076a">Re: Vent - advice welcome (AE)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Vent - advice welcome (AE) : This. I don't care that the people who will likely be planning my FI's bachelor party are all excited about him being the DD (Seriously. He doesn't drink, so they are PUMPED that they get to party and he gets to take responsibility--and he doesn't mind, so I'm not complaining. I think it's funny.). I don't care that they will probably also go "all out." But I WOULD care if my FI was just handing things over and signing it at the end of the night. <strong>That said, $9,700 is a lot of money to us. It may not be for you. I would be INSANE upset. </strong>That is 1/3 of our wedding budget (Actually, it's TWICE what WE are paying, 1/3 of the entire wedding). I hope for the best, and I DO think they took advantage. But once you sign it...you're donzo. I mean, I would think.
Posted by staceycaine[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I'm sorry but I have to say something. You come into almost EVERY thread to say something along these lines. Someone is excited about quitting a job where they are unhappy- you say "oh wow must be nice to just be able to quit and not worry about money. We have to worry about money". Someone asks about the fact that they gave their friend a generous gift for their wedding and the friend did not reciprocate-- you say "Wow, you gave them <em>that</em> much? Good for you, you must have so much, we would never be able to give that amount of money." I can go find links if you insist but I think you know what I'm talking about, it's a pattern. Quit judging people when it comes to money, no one is responding to you and saying "Oh, stacey, you think x amount is a lot of money? How cheap are you? Money's no issue for us." You shouldn't be doing it the other way around either. This is also annoying since the OP made clear exactly what a huge deal the 10K is to them, that's why she feels physically ill about it.</div><div>
</div><div>Sorry, that's been bugging me for a while.

</div>