No kids = No Kids!

Barakins

Given the number of children in your family, MrsRicePudding, I'd prepare myself (if I were you) for some people to show up to the wedding with their children anyway.  I'm expecting some similar confrontations at my wedding, which is why I've hired someone to check the invitation list with each person that comes.  If they are not on the list, they will not be allowed in.  While I hope that it doesn't come down to this for your wedding activities, just bear in mind that there are those who WILL try to sneak their children in last-minute in an effort to shame you into letting them in:  "Well, we're already here and we came all this way, it would be RUDE not to let us in now."

------------------

On a side note, have you considered suggesting to those with kids that they can cooberate with one another and set up their own babysitting service?  Assuming that all 40 kids were to show, they would need to hire a sitter to watch the kids and at least 8 sitters, as most states have laws requiring that there be at least one sitter for every 5 children.  That way, it's off of you, and if people want to bring their kids and drop them off at a daycare, they can.  You might even provide them with a number to a daycare to start them off.  At this point, you've given them the option and are no longer the "bad guy," at least not so much, and these guests will either take care of their children so that they can come, or they won't.  I suspect that with the cost of hiring several sitters, many that were complaining before will conveniently find an "at home sitter" for their kids.

lindsaystreet

I've never heard so much whining about kids before. Seriously! Get over it! Weddings are one of the few happy family affairs where the kids can attend. You will seriously be missing out.

If I were invited to your wedding I would seriously decline, AND NOT send a gift if I heard this kind of whining. Babysitters are expensive - and for a whole WEEKEND you're looking at mondo bucks. Too much to ask for!

By the way- REMEMBER this crying session you had when YOU want to bring YOUR precious angels somewhere... then you'll realize how crazy you are being right now.

thalka

Instead of providing baby sitters, you could find a child care center in your area and give people the phone number of the place for them to hire someone to watch the kids during the festivities.

cordalya

I completely know where you are coming from! Originally we were going to have kids, but as we saw how much it would cost  and other worries, we decided not to. I don't so much mind them at the wedding, as long as parents can keep them seated and quiet! The reception is a whooole different story.
#1 We are providing free alcohol, and don't think it's a "family environment" when there will be drunken idiots around.
#2 It costs like $20 a kid at our venue, and I would have like 40 kids on the list! That's $800, and we are paying for the wedding ourselves. I know how kids are, and they will  more than likely pick over the food and waste it!
#3 I had people wanting to bring their kids, and I hadn't ever met them???!!!
#4 I want people to let loose and have fun, not watch their kids.
I had people in my wedding party wanting to bring kids, friends I hadn't talked to in forever wanting to bring their kids, a person who just had a baby wanted to bring their 4 month old baby. I am far from a bridezilla, but I know what I want and I know what I can afford!
I told people beforehand, put it on the invitations, on the wedding website. Also, our reception site doesn't want a lot of kids anyways so I made the cut off 15 and over, the flower girl, ring bearer, and the one kid on my fiance's side of the family. (who will have mom, dad, or grandma who don't "party" watching them) And I told one cousin who was from out of town that her kids could come.... if she even makes it! So 5 kids rather than 45! My fiance and I love kids, but....NO!!!

borboleta18

lindsaystreet  if you don't have anything positive to say, just be quite. "not attend it and not send a gift because your kids were not invited?? wake up darling.. you can be sure you would never be invited to my wedding with such an attitude, actualy to any wedding, who would want someone like you around..its her wedding and no kids mean no kids, don't want to  leave your kids behind saty with them... with such an attitude cannot imagine anyone wanting someone like you around in a wedding day.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kids-kids-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:be5d29de-3d24-42f5-b120-447b9fd70b3fPost:8dc95704-ac27-4d09-a9c5-43076dc12ccd">Re: No kids = No Kids!</a>:
[QUOTE]lindsaystreet   if you don't have anything positive to say, just be quite. "not attend it and not send a gift because your kids were not invited?? wake up darling.. you can be sure you would never be invited to my wedding with such an attitude, actualy to any wedding, who would want someone like you around..its her wedding and no kids mean no kids, don't want to  leave your kids behind saty with them... with such an attitude cannot imagine anyone wanting someone like you around in a wedding day.
Posted by borboleta18[/QUOTE]

I have no idea what most of this says.

nda_roxybabe

Cew- want a glitter covered vomit bag?

lbritt

Ugh I have family members who are doing the same thing to me on FB. My save the dates were addressed the same way they are going to be addressed for the actual invites. And we didn't invite any kids other then the ring bearer and flower girl (my brothers kids). Still people have sent me messages on Facebook saying "I'm hoping to make the wedding. If i can bring the kids I am definitely coming, if not then I'll have to let you know." Like what am I supposed to say back to that? Make exceptions because they had the balls to send me an email... on facebook of all places??? It's rude and out of line.

Don't feel bad, all brides (and couples) have to make those kinds of decisions and make the cut-off somewhere. You shouldn't be bullied into having to pay for kids to attend your festivities when you don't want them there in the first place!

beatlesgirl25

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kids-kids-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:be5d29de-3d24-42f5-b120-447b9fd70b3fPost:95d469e9-8364-441f-849d-41d63cee2717">Re: No kids = No Kids!</a>:
[QUOTE]lindsaystreet... sorry but, you're wrong.  Having gone to weddings both with and without children I can see benefits on both sides, however, a) a black tie event is no place for a child and b) It is her day!  <strong>How many times have we been to a wedding and all of a sudden a cute little kid starts dancing and everyone is crowded around them watching?, you know where the bride is at this point?  <em>Behind everyone pissed that the attention sould be focused on her and not this small child. </em> This is not selfish this is the real world, it's the brides day, it's the brides party, it's the brides attention.  End of disscussion.</strong>
Posted by odoyle[/QUOTE]

Please tell me you're joking. How much freaking attention does one person need? People stare at you while you say your vows, dance your first dance, eat your cake, the whole DAY is in honor of you and your FI. Maybe the bride could carry a whistle or clicker, so that if anyone is turned away from her for too long, they can be snapped back to looking in the right direction. Wedding guests are stupid and they need help in knowing who to pay attention to at a wedding. <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-undecided.gif" border="0" alt="Undecided" title="Undecided" />

I personally was happy to have some attention focused on other guests who were enjoying themselves. We had two little kids at our wedding and one of my favorite moments of the night was when the little one started running circles around us dancing and then H and his brother started chasing him around and around. It was hilarious, and I guarantee you no one was looking at me. I've somehow managed to get over it.

saschaduran

In Response to Re: No kids = No Kids!:
[QUOTEHow many times have we been to a wedding and all of a sudden a cute little kid starts dancing and everyone is crowded around them watching?, you know where the bride is at this point?  Behind everyone pissed that the attention should be focused on her and not this small child.  This is not selfish this is the real world, it's the brides day, it's the brides party, it's the brides attention.  End of disscussion.
Posted by odoyle[/QUOTE]

One of my favorite moments of the reception was when they put on "Superman" by Soulja Boy and my 2 year old nephew took control of the dance floor.  And where was I?  Up front laughing and egging him on.  Not skulking in the corner like a 2 year old.  How much friggin attention do you need???

But this is coming from a girl that practically refused a first dance, refused any other special dances and refused to do a big intro becuase I hate being the center of attention.  I get plenty of attention in my daily life....I don't need to hog my wedding day.

dandan83

We get it! You're all saying the same thing over and over again! You want a child free wedding, and that's fine! There are those of us that want/had children at our wedding, and that's fine too.

luckyme502

Maybe your family is not clear on your no kids policy as you beat them over the heads with it and now they are have cognitive problems. 

odoyle

My point is not so much that everyone should focus their attention on the bride at all times as it is that like it or not you're there for the couple.  And to those who have fond memories of small children at their wedding that's fine too, but remember that that's how you feel.  I have fond memories with children at parties also, but just not formal weddings.  My point all in all which everyone who had something to say about completely missed is we're talking about a black tie affair, no children should be present at an event as formal as this.  Bottom line.

picoult81

I can't believe I read all this.  15 minutes of my life that I will never get back. 

whitney_15545

I caught crap from my FMI as soon as we got engaged because we said no kids.  We both looove kids and can't wait to have a couple but when I attended my fiances sisters wedding one year before and saw that the ring bearer spit in the collection plate at the church and he was trying to walk and stand on her dress I knew there was no way that I was letting people come to our wedding and expect free childcare while they were enjoying themselves! Leave the kid with the sitter and come enjoy yourself; if not, sorry, we had a good time without you!

jennychoo

I thought this would be a place where women could come to get support on things that are stressing them out before their wedding.  Instead, half of these comments are very mean and negative.  If you can't say anything supportive, maybe you shouldn't reply at all.

ntragess06

I must say that we are having a filet mignon dinner, open bar and a really fun evening for all of our attendees in a limited space... and children are not invited. We have struggled with how to approach this, being that we have 4 children of our own.  Its our wedding and we chose not to include children.. and we don't feel guilty about it. If a guest rsvps with children included, we'll address it then.

Don't stress yourself about it, just address it and be done with it.  If people think you're a bitch, so be it. Its your day and your dollar.

[Deleted User]

Well, thank fucking goodness someone decided to resurrect this nasty piece of crap thread. I was starting to miss seeing it.

adevenyns

My FI and I are getting married at a historical B&B that is not only covered with fragile and irreplaceable items but is also limited on space, so out of respect for the venue (and budget restraints) we're not having children at our wedding either. I would be mortified if a piece of history was destroyed on my wedding day. The one piece of advice I have received repeatedly is that it is your wedding day and it's your money so make the decisions you want in order to make it special and completely yours, whether that means not allowing children or having a moon bounce. Although by deliberately and bluntly telling parents no children repeatedly they might become spiteful. Good luck with whatever occurs.

kahaynes

I'm having a similar problem and I haven't even sent out invitations yet.  One thing my sister did and it seemed to work, they had a ceremony and reception at a place by the ocean and it simply wasnt safe for little kids. She stated this to many people and had it on the wedding website, she said they were fortunate to get some beautiful locations, but it wasn't childproof and little children would need to be watched every minute.  She started with the positive comment and ended with the negative.  I'm finding that a LOT of people dont understand the etiquette.

beatlesgirl25

You have got to be kidding me. *head desk*