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Legally married, now having a "real" wedding? Stop here first! (AKA, the PPD FAQ thread)

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Re: Legally married, now having a "real" wedding? Stop here first! (AKA, the PPD FAQ thread)

  • @PrettyGirlLost YAY for (almost) Twinsies! 

    @honeykeaton I understand the emotions at play, you've been proposed to and you want to get married NOW, but X,Y and Z stand in the way and it does suck. But like other have said, its about choosing what's more important in the long run- quick wedding now or a longer engagement so you can have a bigger wedding. And I was also in the "I don't want a long engagement" camp, but hey, some things in life just don't work out the way you planned...

    @DaphneM7 There is a HUGE difference between attending a celebration of marriage for a couple and a PPD. I've been to a PPD, the B&G married early and kept it a secret b/c they wanted people to buy them gifts (FI and I knew about their secret from the start) Was I 'omg clutch the pearls offended? No. Do I seriously think less of these people? You bet. Would I have dressed up and danced the night away at a party to celebrate their marriage? Yup. 

    In the end the H had to spill the beans about them being married at the RD b/c the priest could not 'marry' an already married couple. The priest was bound by canon law to perform an convalidation and not a full ceremony and everyone would have found out during the ceremony that the were already married...

    The lesson- if you don't care if your family and friends think you're a lying attention whore then go ahead and have a PPD.



    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    grumbledorePrettyGirlLostKeptInStitchesAPDSS22
  • I LOVE blow out anniversary parties! I wish more people would go for them. I'd attend anniversary parties every weekend out of the year. 

    Get all dressed up, have fantastic food, drink, and music and party it up without looking silly and giving the institution of marriage the bird. Win-win!
    image
    PrettyGirlLostAPDSS22simplykaylakitty8403
  • PDKH said:
    So I am newly engaged and we were thinking about going and having a civil union next month and then having a celebration of our marriage in the spring/summer of 2014 due to our crazy work schedules we only have a short window to have a wedding/get married. We are ready to get married now but our schedules don't permit an actual wedding right now. I have been going crazy trying to decide on what we should do. We both agree that we want to get married next month but the way our schedules are its hard to get a wedding together. I don't want my family to feel as though they are being robbed because that's definitely not the case. I never imagined getting married without my daddy giving me away and that's what I want. I am thinking about discussing it with both our parents to get their take on it.
    Why don't you just wait until 2014 and do it all at once. . . get married and have the celebration of your wedding all on the same day.  The way that everyone used to do it.

    Seriously, why do you need to get married next month?

    I got engaged in June of 2012. . . I'm not getting married until October of 2014.  I'm still engaged, I didn't have a civil ceremony.  I just don't get it.
    That's my rock and hard place. I want to wait but at the same time I want to go ahead and do it and have the celebration of the wedding in the summer. I never imagined having to make this decision...its tough. Neither of us are fans of long engagements
    Sigh - look, I'm not gonna lie, I hated (still hate) our long engagement too. FI is active duty military and I'm a grad student, so yes, scheduling is a bitch and there's a chance our entire plans could get scrapped due to a deployment. But the nice thing about a long engagement is that planning has been a easy process and we've had time to save up a bit more money, so our wedding is pretty much everything I could ask for. 

    But I PROMISE it's worth it to do your wedding the right way. Don't you want that aisle moment to be the moment right before you actually marry the man you love? Not just a day you got all dolled up?

    Getting married because you just can't wait is fine. But with that decision, you sacrifice the "big day" stuff - because you already had your big day. 
    Yeah you are right, and thats exactly how I feel. His job is extremely busy and ties him up and there are some things that we try to keep a secret due to who he is and what he does. Thats the only reason this option is even on the table. I am going to discuss this with my daddy, because he is the most important person to me when I think of me getting married. I would never want to "rob" my father from this moment. I know that may seem crazy that a bride-to-be is more worried about her father than the focus being on herself and what she wants lol, but until I met my fiance, my father was my best friend.
    a13049
  • DaphneM7 said:
    NYCBruin said:
    Ok I have a question.  I'm not 100% sure how I personally feel about PPD's and the like because of this:

    I have had several (>5) couples that are friends/family that did common law/JOP weddings, and announced to their friends and families that they were married, addressed each other as husband/wife, and their family and friends harassed them for a "real" wedding.  What bugs me is their families wanted a big to-do...not really the couple.  No one was lied to... one invitation even read:  Help us re-inact our vows for friends and family!  So I'm not sure how I feel in these situations...ya know?  

    If everyone is in the loop, they don't do a registry, but want to celebrate with repeating vows/saying traditional vows or personalized vows, then is it really a big deal?
    This is no different than any other rude thing a family member may push. Just because Mom thinks cash bars are ok and you should have one to save money doesn't suddenly make it ok for the couple to do it. Rude is rude no matter where the idea originated.

    But a PPD isn't rude, it isn't offensive to anyone. I am offended by PPDs. Some people don't like them, but how are they offensive or rude? Because many people consider marriage sacred and to dress and pretend to be getting married is highly offensive to some people. This is contradictory to the reasons not to have them, given by the OP.  YOu don't ahve one because you are already married and people dont want to watch you "fake" you wedding.  Except some people do enjoy watching PPD, some people do being included in the redo and are happy to support the bride and groom, again.  So they can't enjoy, celebrating and watching their friends and family redo/recreate their wedding because some people jsut dont' liek them? False - they can't enjoy and watch their friends/family get married because they weren't invited to the actual wedding. Maybe they should take that up with the B&G. If you parents want to throw you a PPD and you are okay with it, GO FOR IT!!!   It is not rude to have a PPD.  Your argument does not justify why a PPD isn't rude. At all. 

    I have done a search, looked on a lot of old threads and other sites wedding boards and it would seem that a majority of people IRL are okay with PPD. Really? Please share your statistical findings. Your anecdotal evidence fails to convince me. Also, please prove that the respondents you analyzed represent the larger population of wedding guests in general. Spoiler alert: they don't. Some may wish they could have attended the original, but most are understanding of the different circumstances and enjoy attending the PPD.

    I recommend re-searching - you have a prime example of a thread right here that should provide some insight. Did you just skip over all the posts of people who are offended and/or found out after the fact they went to a PPD? 
    *********************************************************************************

    image
    grumbledoremimiphinPrettyGirlLostcrunchymamaof2
  • APDSS22APDSS22 O-K-L-A-H-O-M-A is OK member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    @honeykeaton : My hubby and I had a 2 and a half year long engagement.  We got married 2 days before our 6 year dating anniversary.  I hear you about wanting to get married right away.  A few times during the engagement I thought about skipping all the drama and running to the courthouse with him.  We waited and were able to save up enough money to not only have a kick ass wedding, but also buy a new truck (which was good because my 20 year old Jeep was on its last legs...)

    For PPDs in general: It boils down to the fact that if the bride and groom wanted something SO much (lots of guests, flowing booze, spectacular dress, religious ceremony, etc) they always had the option to do those things when they actually got married.  They might've had to wait to get married to save up the money or finish the religious requirements, but they chose to get married without these things.  Having a PPD simply means that they wanted to have the insurance, or the benefits or the tax breaks more than they wanted these other things (which is fine because I don't judge people's priorities).  And then they decided to re-enact "being joined in matrimony" in front of a bunch of people who were either deceived about the play being performed or were told and are sitting there wondering what they're doing there.

    My parents, for example, got married with very few guests able to attend because of a freak blizzard.  Obviously, the situation was out of their control.  They got married as planned with the people able to get there and had a fabulous time drinking the crates of champagne (which were being handed out by the bottle).  Did they feel it necessary to "re-do" their wedding?  No!  They've been married almost 30 years now and they love trotting out the story of their snowy wedding because that was the day they got married and that means something to them.

    Vow renewals are really touching if a couple's been going through a lot and want to re-affirm their commitment or have had many years together and still want to be married to the same person.  They are usually low-key affairs with a re-affirmation of vows (not a play like they're getting married in front of you).  There are no pre-renewal parties like showers or teas and no expectation of gifts.  Just two people loving each other.  No one is saying you can't throw a party to celebrate being married with all your friends.  (People rarely need a reason to enjoy a party, there are "days ending in y" parties all the time.)  Just don't pretend you're getting married.  There's no point to it.

    honeykeatonKeptInStitchesPrettyGirlLost
  • What if you're already "Domestic Partners",didn't have any sort of ceremony or celebration and then Marriage became legal for you in your state...
  • APDSS22APDSS22 O-K-L-A-H-O-M-A is OK member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    What if you're already "Domestic Partners",didn't have any sort of ceremony or celebration and then Marriage became legal for you in your state...
    Are you inviting people to witness you actually getting married? 

  • What if you're already "Domestic Partners",didn't have any sort of ceremony or celebration and then Marriage became legal for you in your state...
    Are you inviting people to witness you actually getting married? 

    Ok, so I am assuming that DP is the GLTB american term for Common law... Right?


    SO and I are classified as being common law, We have been in a marriage-like relationship (Living together) for more than 2 years, BUT I don't call him my husband, I haven't taken his name, we haven'd signed anything saying we are married it is just something that the government decided we are.

    When we get married that will be our wedding day, we will sign the marrage licence, have a party, and dance. This is not a PPD, this is my wedding day.

    orwhatuwill
  • APDSS22APDSS22 O-K-L-A-H-O-M-A is OK member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    mimiphin said:
    What if you're already "Domestic Partners",didn't have any sort of ceremony or celebration and then Marriage became legal for you in your state...
    Are you inviting people to witness you actually getting married? 

    Ok, so I am assuming that DP is the GLTB american term for Common law... Right?


    SO and I are classified as being common law, We have been in a marriage-like relationship (Living together) for more than 2 years, BUT I don't call him my husband, I haven't taken his name, we haven'd signed anything saying we are married it is just something that the government decided we are.

    When we get married that will be our wedding day, we will sign the marrage licence, have a party, and dance. This is not a PPD, this is my wedding day.

    Sort of.  Common law has a few other connotations.  Most of them require that you hold yourselves as being married, not just live together.  Domestic partners are where a lot of GLTB couples are.  Not really married (because there are still places they cannot legally be "married") but living together, sharing finances, etc.  Usually the term is not applied to hetero couples who have the ability to get married under pretty much any set of circumstances.

    I don't know how I'd feel if the couple had just had a very large "commitment ceremony" with all the lavish details except the actual legal marriage part, but I think PPD pretty much only occurs when you have been married and then go pretend to be married again to make it bigger, better, religious, have certain people there, etc.


  • DaphneM7 said:


    NYCBruin said:

    Ok I have a question.  I'm not 100% sure how I personally feel about PPD's and the like because of this:



    I have had several (>5) couples that are friends/family that did common law/JOP weddings, and announced to their friends and families that they were married, addressed each other as husband/wife, and their family and friends harassed them for a "real" wedding.  What bugs me is their families wanted a big to-do...not really the couple.  No one was lied to... one invitation even read:  Help us re-inact our vows for friends and family!  So I'm not sure how I feel in these situations...ya know?  



    If everyone is in the loop, they don't do a registry, but want to celebrate with repeating vows/saying traditional vows or personalized vows, then is it really a big deal?
    This is no different than any other rude thing a family member may push. Just because Mom thinks cash bars are ok and you should have one to save money doesn't suddenly make it ok for the couple to do it. Rude is rude no matter where the idea originated.

    But a PPD isn't rude, it isn't offensive to anyone. I am offended by PPDs. Some people don't like them, but how are they offensive or rude? Because many people consider marriage sacred and to dress and pretend to be getting married is highly offensive to some people. This is contradictory to the reasons not to have them, given by the OP.  YOu don't ahve one because you are already married and people dont want to watch you "fake" you wedding.  Except some people do enjoy watching PPD, some people do being included in the redo and are happy to support the bride and groom, again.  So they can't enjoy, celebrating and watching their friends and family redo/recreate their wedding because some people jsut dont' liek them? False - they can't enjoy and watch their friends/family get married because they weren't invited to the actual wedding. Maybe they should take that up with the B&G. If you parents want to throw you a PPD and you are okay with it, GO FOR IT!!!   It is not rude to have a PPD.  Your argument does not justify why a PPD isn't rude. At all. 

    I have done a search, looked on a lot of old threads and other sites wedding boards and it would seem that a majority of people IRL are okay with PPD. Really? Please share your statistical findings. Your anecdotal evidence fails to convince me. Also, please prove that the respondents you analyzed represent the larger population of wedding guests in general. Spoiler alert: they don't. Some may wish they could have attended the original, but most are understanding of the different circumstances and enjoy attending the PPD.


    I recommend re-searching - you have a prime example of a thread

    right here that should provide some insight. Did you just skip over all the posts of people who are offended and/or found out after the fact they went to a PPD? 


    This board is a small number of people's opinions, not reflexion of the whole population. Getting lied to is different then knowing someone's circumstances and still celebrating with them. Like people who marry before going into the military or marrying because of extreme illness or other circumstances. It's not black and white, and most people i know are accepting of these circumstances. And no, I am not havin a ppd. Jmo

  • acove2006 said:


    DaphneM7 said:


    NYCBruin said:

    Ok I have a question.  I'm not 100% sure how I personally feel about PPD's and the like because of this:



    I have had several (>5) couples that are friends/family that did common law/JOP weddings, and announced to their friends and families that they were married, addressed each other as husband/wife, and their family and friends harassed them for a "real" wedding.  What bugs me is their families wanted a big to-do...not really the couple.  No one was lied to... one invitation even read:  Help us re-inact our vows for friends and family!  So I'm not sure how I feel in these situations...ya know?  



    If everyone is in the loop, they don't do a registry, but want to celebrate with repeating vows/saying traditional vows or personalized vows, then is it really a big deal?
    This is no different than any other rude thing a family member may push. Just because Mom thinks cash bars are ok and you should have one to save money doesn't suddenly make it ok for the couple to do it. Rude is rude no matter where the idea originated.

    But a PPD isn't rude, it isn't offensive to anyone.  Some people don't like them, but how are they offensive or rude?  This is contradictory to the reasons not to have them, given by the OP.  YOu don't ahve one because you are already married and people dont want to watch you "fake" you wedding.  Except some people do enjoy watching PPD, some people do being included in the redo and are happy to support the bride and groom, again.  So they can't enjoy, celebrating and watching their friends and family redo/recreate their wedding because some people jsut dont' liek them?   If you parents want to throw you a PPD and you are okay with it, GO FOR IT!!!   It is not rude to have a PPD. 

    I have done a search, looked on a lot of old threads and other sites wedding boards and it would seem that a majority of people IRL are okay with PPD.  Some may wish they could have attended the original, but most are understanding of the different circumstances and enjoy attending the PPD.





    Are you kidding? They're not offensive? They're terribly offensive. PPD basically laugh in the face of marriage and completely cheapen what marriage really is. These brides/wives are basically saying that a courthouse wedding or being married by a JOP doesn't really count and isn't good enough. If you truly want to be married then it shouldn't f'in matter how it happens- legally married= married = you had a wedding. If that wasn't good enough for you then that's your own fault. You don't get do-overs in life. Once again (as I just said a few posts up), my son's birth wasn't what I had hoped for. I'm not going to shove him back up my hoohah and re-do his birth. That would be ridiculous and offensive to women who chose to have an epidural and birth flat on their back. Because I would be saying to them "Look, your birth experience wasn't real. It just wasn't enough." And that's just not true.

    Why is all the fluff more important than the act of being married? It's not "just paperwork". Do you know how many gay/lesbian/transgender couples would give their left tit to have "just the paperwork"? A lot. So you're offending them as well with your PPD.

    I truly don't get what is so damn hard to understand about this. Go ahead and do whatever you please. But don't try to justify it. Own the fact that you're choosing to be rude and offensive and possibly deceitful and move on.

    Just like pp mentioned, ppd don't have a thing todo with the sanctity of marriage anymore than same sex marriages ruining the sanctity of marriage. Divorce ad infidelity, those thing are a slap in the face I good marriages. There are plenty of people who had jop weddings and lived fulfilled marriages, there are plenty of examples of people who had ppd and had wonderful marriages, the details of the wedding don't affect the quality I the marriage. Let's face it, in the wedding industry the fluff takes president way to often, by just on ppd. By that logic, anyone who choose an elaborate or large wedding is jut as bad as a ppd. Most people who are having a ppd are wanting the experience for themselves, it doesn't. Have anything to do with some else's relationship or circumstances, so again your birthing comparison is irrelevant. Ppd are not rude and offensive, that is jut some people reading waaayyyy to into things, and making mountains out of mole hills. Ppd are nt deceitful unless the couple isn't truthful.
  • ViczaesarViczaesar Central Coast, CA member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    So I am newly engaged and we were thinking about going and having a civil union next month and then having a celebration of our marriage in the spring/summer of 2014 due to our crazy work schedules we only have a short window to have a wedding/get married. We are ready to get married now but our schedules don't permit an actual wedding right now. I have been going crazy trying to decide on what we should do. We both agree that we want to get married next month but the way our schedules are its hard to get a wedding together. I don't want my family to feel as though they are being robbed because that's definitely not the case. I never imagined getting married without my daddy giving me away and that's what I want. I am thinking about discussing it with both our parents to get their take on it.
    If you get married next month that will be your wedding.  Period.  Whatever it looks like, it's your wedding, and you don't get another one unless you get divorced in between.  At the most you can have either a party to celebrate your marriage (with no ceremony) or a vow renewal and then a reception afterward.  What you can't do after you're already married is have a wedding.  Party yes, vow renewal yes, wedding no.



    honeykeaton
  • ViczaesarViczaesar Central Coast, CA member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    PDKH said:
    So I am newly engaged and we were thinking about going and having a civil union next month and then having a celebration of our marriage in the spring/summer of 2014 due to our crazy work schedules we only have a short window to have a wedding/get married. We are ready to get married now but our schedules don't permit an actual wedding right now. I have been going crazy trying to decide on what we should do. We both agree that we want to get married next month but the way our schedules are its hard to get a wedding together. I don't want my family to feel as though they are being robbed because that's definitely not the case. I never imagined getting married without my daddy giving me away and that's what I want. I am thinking about discussing it with both our parents to get their take on it.
    Why don't you just wait until 2014 and do it all at once. . . get married and have the celebration of your wedding all on the same day.  The way that everyone used to do it.

    Seriously, why do you need to get married next month?

    I got engaged in June of 2012. . . I'm not getting married until October of 2014.  I'm still engaged, I didn't have a civil ceremony.  I just don't get it.
    That's my rock and hard place. I want to wait but at the same time I want to go ahead and do it and have the celebration of the wedding in the summer. I never imagined having to make this decision...its tough. Neither of us are fans of long engagements
    Sigh - look, I'm not gonna lie, I hated (still hate) our long engagement too. FI is active duty military and I'm a grad student, so yes, scheduling is a bitch and there's a chance our entire plans could get scrapped due to a deployment. But the nice thing about a long engagement is that planning has been a easy process and we've had time to save up a bit more money, so our wedding is pretty much everything I could ask for. 

    But I PROMISE it's worth it to do your wedding the right way. Don't you want that aisle moment to be the moment right before you actually marry the man you love? Not just a day you got all dolled up?

    Getting married because you just can't wait is fine. But with that decision, you sacrifice the "big day" stuff - because you already had your big day. 
    Yeah you are right, and thats exactly how I feel. His job is extremely busy and ties him up and there are some things that we try to keep a secret due to who he is and what he does. Thats the only reason this option is even on the table. I am going to discuss this with my daddy, because he is the most important person to me when I think of me getting married. I would never want to "rob" my father from this moment. I know that may seem crazy that a bride-to-be is more worried about her father than the focus being on herself and what she wants lol, but until I met my fiance, my father was my best friend.
    Having a PPD is not selfless. Please don't kid yourself. If you want your father to be there, invite him to the JOP or wait and have a wedding in a year. It's not complicated.

    And the first highlighted part creeped me out.
    Why?



    kkjane
  • phiraphira Bahstin member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    @a13049

    Um, even though I don't think that PPDs cheapen my relationship/wedding, I do think they're rude and pointless and a waste of time and money.

    I also don't believe that marriage has any sanctity, nor do I believe that divorce cheapens marriage. That's like saying that when people break up, it makes my relationship less meaningful, or that unhappy marriages ending makes my marriage less meaningful.
    Anniversary
    now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
    image
  • Viczaesar said:
    PDKH said:
    So I am newly engaged and we were thinking about going and having a civil union next month and then having a celebration of our marriage in the spring/summer of 2014 due to our crazy work schedules we only have a short window to have a wedding/get married. We are ready to get married now but our schedules don't permit an actual wedding right now. I have been going crazy trying to decide on what we should do. We both agree that we want to get married next month but the way our schedules are its hard to get a wedding together. I don't want my family to feel as though they are being robbed because that's definitely not the case. I never imagined getting married without my daddy giving me away and that's what I want. I am thinking about discussing it with both our parents to get their take on it.
    Why don't you just wait until 2014 and do it all at once. . . get married and have the celebration of your wedding all on the same day.  The way that everyone used to do it.

    Seriously, why do you need to get married next month?

    I got engaged in June of 2012. . . I'm not getting married until October of 2014.  I'm still engaged, I didn't have a civil ceremony.  I just don't get it.
    That's my rock and hard place. I want to wait but at the same time I want to go ahead and do it and have the celebration of the wedding in the summer. I never imagined having to make this decision...its tough. Neither of us are fans of long engagements
    Sigh - look, I'm not gonna lie, I hated (still hate) our long engagement too. FI is active duty military and I'm a grad student, so yes, scheduling is a bitch and there's a chance our entire plans could get scrapped due to a deployment. But the nice thing about a long engagement is that planning has been a easy process and we've had time to save up a bit more money, so our wedding is pretty much everything I could ask for. 

    But I PROMISE it's worth it to do your wedding the right way. Don't you want that aisle moment to be the moment right before you actually marry the man you love? Not just a day you got all dolled up?

    Getting married because you just can't wait is fine. But with that decision, you sacrifice the "big day" stuff - because you already had your big day. 
    Yeah you are right, and thats exactly how I feel. His job is extremely busy and ties him up and there are some things that we try to keep a secret due to who he is and what he does. Thats the only reason this option is even on the table. I am going to discuss this with my daddy, because he is the most important person to me when I think of me getting married. I would never want to "rob" my father from this moment. I know that may seem crazy that a bride-to-be is more worried about her father than the focus being on herself and what she wants lol, but until I met my fiance, my father was my best friend.
    Having a PPD is not selfless. Please don't kid yourself. If you want your father to be there, invite him to the JOP or wait and have a wedding in a year. It's not complicated.

    And the first highlighted part creeped me out.
    Why?
    A grown woman about to be married calling her dad "daddy" on an internet forum is weird to me, and sounds more like she's addressing her sugar daddy or baby daddy.

    Or maybe I just watch too much television.

    ETA:
    image
    Agreed.

    grumbledore
  • Recently in the state we live in (Maine, USA) we passed a marriage equality law that would allow marriage between two legally consenting adults, regardless of sex or gender. Additionally, legally recognizing marriages that happened in any other state. We have Domestic Partnership that is recognized only in Maine that allowed, really, three major things: hospital visitation rights, inheritance(which could still be challenged by a family), and the ability to pick up the other partner's kids from school. Some places of employment also allowed health insurance for folks that are DPed...but that's about it. You sign a document, send a check and get a document back. It does need to be notarized. We had a lawyer friend notarize it. And then my FW and I went out for a drink, alone. Nothing changed tax wise, name wise, etc.

    At our wedding, we'll have a marriage license, an officiant presiding and will be considered legally "Married" by Maine and the US Government...Not a PPD, right?
  • arrippaarrippa Sam Adams Craft Commonwealth member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited October 2013
     
    Yeah you are right, and thats exactly how I feel. His job is extremely busy and ties him up and there are some things that we try to keep a secret due to who he is and what he does. Thats the only reason this option is even on the table. I am going to discuss this with my daddy, because he is the most important person to me when I think of me getting married. I would never want to "rob" my father from this moment. I know that may seem crazy that a bride-to-be is more worried about her father than the focus being on herself and what she wants lol, but until I met my fiance, my father was my best friend.
    Having a PPD is not selfless. Please don't kid yourself. If you want your father to be there, invite him to the JOP or wait and have a wedding in a year. It's not complicated.

    And the first highlighted part creeped me out.
    Why?
    A grown woman about to be married calling her dad "daddy" on an internet forum is weird to me, and sounds more like she's addressing her sugar daddy or baby daddy.

    Or maybe I just watch too much television.

    ETA:
    image
    Agreed.

    Disagreed.  I call my father daddy and will continue doing so until he dies.  I don't usually describe him to other people as daddy, but that's my personal choice.
    Yeah, I 've called my dad, daddy on occasion (and not in the who's your daddy kind of way).

    ashleyep
  • ashleyepashleyep member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    edited October 2013
    PDKH said:
    Just going to say this again - in no way shape or form do military couples get an exemption from common decency and etiquette. Nothing about their careers or lifestyles makes them "special" when it comes to weddings. 

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------



    This.  I'll also reiterate, probably not for the first time in this particular thread even, that my XH was a Marine and we got married months before our planned wedding because he was being deployed - it wasn't the wedding we wanted, but it was the wedding we chose and we lived with that decision.  We got one day, and a couple of weeks later he went to Iraq for a year.


    And if you really want the big "wedding," then throw a party when you were originally going to have your wedding. Invite everyone you want, have dancing, do whatever you want, just call it a "celebration of marriage" and don't re-enact your vows.
    Anniversary
    grumbledorePrettyGirlLost
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