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Etiquette

Legally married, now having a "real" wedding? Stop here first! (AKA, the PPD FAQ thread)

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Re: Legally married, now having a "real" wedding? Stop here first! (AKA, the PPD FAQ thread)

  • PDKH said:

    Yeah, signing the marriage certificate usually takes all of 2 minutes. How long does it take you and your friend to sign your checks at a restaurant?


    There you go.  
    Also in several states the b&g don't sign it the day of. In Orange County CA, we had to sign when we applied and only our officiant and two witnesses signed it on the day of. We almost didn't even see them so that and it was right before we were announced at our reception. I think that is a stupid reason to sign early because it takes next to no time at all.

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  • Our church has you turn in the marriage license as soon as you get it so the secretary can type in all of the paperwork except the signature boxes. Then as soon as the ceremony is over, the pastor goes and grabs it and you sign it right before you start pictures. It then goes back to the secretary who takes care of turning it in for you!
    This is exactly how it's working for us too. 
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    [Deleted User]PrettyGirlLost
  • In Colorado, the B & G signing the marriage certificate is what makes the marriage legal. You don't need an officiant or witness to sign. You don't even need an officiant at all (you can "self officiate"). 

    Because signing really was THE moment it all became a real marriage, we chose to do it during the ceremony, right after vows and rings. The violinist played a few lines of a song and it took less than 30 seconds. We knew exactly what went where as far as signatures, and we already had it set on a flat surface and a pen ready to go. 
    wisegirl14
  • kitty8403 said:
    Honest question. I've heard of couples who sign the marriage license at their rehearsal so it's one less thing taking up time on the wedding day (so guests don't have to wait quite so long after the ceremony). So then, yes, the couple is legally married the night before, I suppose. Would you still consider that inappropriate? I'm thinking of borrowing from Canadian traditions and just signing ours as part of the ceremony to avoid that time gap.
    Yes, it's still inappropriate.  If you invite me to watch you get married, I want to watch you get married.  I don't want to watch you act out a wedding ceremony.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    PrettyGirlLost
  • Our church has you turn in the marriage license as soon as you get it so the secretary can type in all of the paperwork except the signature boxes. Then as soon as the ceremony is over, the pastor goes and grabs it and you sign it right before you start pictures. It then goes back to the secretary who takes care of turning it in for you!
    Yeah our officiant was supposed to turn it in for us as well.  It was supposed to be turned in within like 3-5 days after the ceremony took place for it to be deemed legal.  So we ended up putting a sticky note on the copy we sent in (10 days after the ceremony) apologizing profusely that we were late turning it in and what not.  I am guessing since I was able to change my name and we were able to file taxes jointly as a married couple that the city accepted our apology.
    LOL that's awesome Maggie! You almost accidentally had a PPD!
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    Maggie0829
  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom South Jersey member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Our priest asked H & I to have our marriage license signed by us and turned over to him at our rehearsal.  But he and our witnesses didn't sign it till after the ceremony.  So even though we had signed it, our marriage still wasn't official. 
  • APDSS22APDSS22 O-K-L-A-H-O-M-A is OK member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    rvg22 said:
    In Colorado, the B & G signing the marriage certificate is what makes the marriage legal. You don't need an officiant or witness to sign. You don't even need an officiant at all (you can "self officiate"). 

    Because signing really was THE moment it all became a real marriage, we chose to do it during the ceremony, right after vows and rings. The violinist played a few lines of a song and it took less than 30 seconds. We knew exactly what went where as far as signatures, and we already had it set on a flat surface and a pen ready to go. 
    I'm going to assume that must be in part because Colorado is one of the few states with common law marriage on the books and also one of the smallest time frames. You pretty much need to only call each other husband and wife and live together. (Left over from the old mining days...)

  • kitty8403kitty8403 member
    1000 Comments 250 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    edited October 2013
    Exactly. I'm in Montana and we have the common-law option too. For a ceremony, just about anybody can officiate, really.

    @PDKH, no I understand those are different scenarios, but was under the impression that some officiants were starting to push handling paperwork during rehearsals. A., to save time, and B. to make sure it was done and not forgotten in everybody's excitement. Sorry if that wasn't clear enough.
  • WinstonsGirlWinstonsGirl The Cold North member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    kitty8403 said:
    Honest question. I've heard of couples who sign the marriage license at their rehearsal so it's one less thing taking up time on the wedding day (so guests don't have to wait quite so long after the ceremony). So then, yes, the couple is legally married the night before, I suppose. Would you still consider that inappropriate? I'm thinking of borrowing from Canadian traditions and just signing ours as part of the ceremony to avoid that time gap.
    This confuses me as to what the Canadian traditions are??  We got our license a few days before, but at our wedding, and every wedding I've ever been to, the couple says their vows, does the ceremony and then goes to a side table to sign the license, usually witnessed by MOH and BM, then signed by the officiant.  The signing is a part of the ceremony after the vows.  
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    mimiphin
  • Where I got married (VA) there are no witnesses and all that's required is that the officiant sign and return the license to the clerk's office within 5 days of the ceremony. The only thing we had to sign was the paperwork at the clerk's office to request the marriage license in the first place - that doesn't mean we got married then and there. You're officially married once you have said your vows and your officiant signs the form.
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    NYCMercedes
  • lovesclimbinglovesclimbing Alaska member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    kitty8403 said:
    Honest question. I've heard of couples who sign the marriage license at their rehearsal so it's one less thing taking up time on the wedding day (so guests don't have to wait quite so long after the ceremony). So then, yes, the couple is legally married the night before, I suppose. Would you still consider that inappropriate? I'm thinking of borrowing from Canadian traditions and just signing ours as part of the ceremony to avoid that time gap.

    I just think that's stupid.  It takes a couple seconds to sign the license.  And in Alaska, you don't even sign the license on the wedding day!  You sign it when you apply.  And then, after the ceremony, the officiant and the witnesses sign it.  But you're not married until you've said vows and the officiant and witnesses have signed it.  

    A friend of my H's did what you're saying - getting officially married at the rehearsal.  My H flew half way across the country to be a GM at his wedding (at no small expense to us - we could barely afford it.)  My H thought it was the stupidest thing ever, didn't see what the point was and was wondering why he even went to be a GM if they were just going to get married in casual clothes with just the rehearsal people the day before.

    PrettyGirlLost
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    @Onceinalovetime - If you hate these boards so much and the responses given, then why are you even here?

    Dreamergirl8812APDSS22mcgarci2
  • I've was a victim of PPD deception a few years ago.I went to the "wedding" of a college friend 5 hours away from my home, attended the showers, brunches and every other time consuming "Yay, I'm a Bride" activity you can think of over the course of 6 months. At the reception, the "newlyweds" announced that they had gotten married a year earlier at the courthouse. 

    And that was the last time I saw her...
    That's awful. Lying is bad enough, but announcing your lie after everyone oohs and aahs over you and gives you gifts? That's the worst.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    PrettyGirlLostsimplykayla
  • kitty8403 said:
    Honest question. I've heard of couples who sign the marriage license at their rehearsal so it's one less thing taking up time on the wedding day (so guests don't have to wait quite so long after the ceremony). So then, yes, the couple is legally married the night before, I suppose. Would you still consider that inappropriate? I'm thinking of borrowing from Canadian traditions and just signing ours as part of the ceremony to avoid that time gap.
    This confuses me as to what the Canadian traditions are??  We got our license a few days before, but at our wedding, and every wedding I've ever been to, the couple says their vows, does the ceremony and then goes to a side table to sign the license, usually witnessed by MOH and BM, then signed by the officiant.  The signing is a part of the ceremony after the vows.  

    Apparently Canadians are the ones that do this- which would make sence as I am canadian and this is when it happends for us. I think its very state dependant as to when they sign the wedding licence.

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