@TanLines&Wine... I think the least you could do for your guests that are traveling to Hawaii to watch you get married is provide their alcohol. I'm sorry, but you sound like a terrible person. Expect to lose friends over your wedding.
ETA: Actually, I'm not sorry. You are a terrible person. End of story.
My wedding is in Hawaii, so if they can afford to come to Hawaii we decided they can afford to spend $50 on drinks at the wedding.
How wonderful of you to choose to get married in a place that costs your guests a boatload to attend and then hold the fact that they are spending their hard-earned money to attend your wedding against them.
I can't think of a better way to say "Thanks so much for spending the time and money to travel to an expensive destination for our wedding" than with a price list of drinks at the bar.
YOU AREN'T EVEN A FUN TROLL. FIND A BETTER STORY.
Don't worry guys, I have the Wedding Police AND the Whambulance on speed dial!
Our budget just got out of control and we had to start cutting costs, alcohol was the easiest and biggest thing we could get rid of. If I could afford to pay I would, but I just can't. My dress cost way more then I planned and fiance upgraded our room without telling me so we have to cut costs.
Oh well if your dress costs a lot, your guests surely won't mind paying for their own booze, just as much as I enjoyed standing at a friend's wedding because her dress cost so much that she couldn't afford seats.
Our budget just got out of control and we had to start cutting costs, alcohol was the easiest and biggest thing we could get rid of. If I could afford to pay I would, but I just can't. My dress cost way more then I planned and fiance upgraded our room without telling me so we have to cut costs.
You should definitely tell all your guests that you TOTALLY would have paid for their drinks like a good hostess, but Oh emmm geee you just HAD to have the perfect dress. I'm sure they totally won't mind since they get to stare at your pretty dress.
Don't worry guys, I have the Wedding Police AND the Whambulance on speed dial!
STOP THE PRESS: I have the perfect solution for you @TanLines&Wine:
Since your terrible friend got knocked up and can't come to the wedding, just ask her to cash in her plane tickets and hotel room and give you the money. You can then use the money to host alcohol! Unless of course you need special wedding shoes or something like that, then spend the money on those. Obviously.
Don't worry guys, I have the Wedding Police AND the Whambulance on speed dial!
Cash bars are a regional thing. No one in my area thinks it's rude.
OP is rude for making such a blanket statement about something. If you don't like cash bars, don't have one. Same goes for lots of things in life. Abortions, divorce, kids. If you don't like 'em. Simply don't have 'em. End of story.
Cash bars are a regional thing. No one in my area thinks it's rude.
OP is rude for making such a blanket statement about something. If you don't like cash bars, don't have one. Same goes for lots of things in life. Abortions, divorce, kids. If you don't like 'em. Simply don't have 'em. End of story.
Oh really? Please tell us where you're from. I guarantee at least one person on this board is from there and does find them rude.
It's rude to make your guests pay for things. End of story.
Don't worry guys, I have the Wedding Police AND the Whambulance on speed dial!
Cash bars are a regional thing. No one in my area thinks it's rude.
OP is rude for making such a blanket statement about something. If you don't like cash bars, don't have one. Same goes for lots of things in life. Abortions, divorce, kids. If you don't like 'em. Simply don't have 'em. End of story.
Did you read the thread? Obviously not. Regional "difference" (which don't exist btw) are addressed thoroughly in previous posts. This is an etiquette board. We post about etiquette. I'm sorry your family and friends are rude enough to expect others to pay for the expenses of their parties.
Living in a certain place doesn't give you an excuse to be rude. If everyone in your region does it - which they don't - than be the exception and have an open bar. Not a hard concept to get.
Oh, get off the word "rude." Let it go. You want to know what "rude" is? It's an opinion. You want to know what an opinion isn't? A fact. I think most of you are forgetting that very real distinction.
Oh, get off the word "rude." Let it go. You want to know what "rude" is? It's an opinion. You want to know what an opinion isn't? A fact. I think most of you are forgetting that very real distinction.
Okay, no one here is going to stop you from having a cash bar. And when people have very low opinions of you after your wedding as a result, you can remember that.
You're entitled to your opinion, like I said before, but your guests are also entitled to theirs which will likely be that you are a bad host. Look, I didn't use the word rude once. High five. This board isn't about fact vs opinion. It's about ETIQUETTE. You come looking for insight on etiquette, you'll find it here, but don't get defensive when it becomes clear you aren't following proper etiquette and people call you out on it.
Oh, get off the word "rude." Let it go. You want to know what "rude" is? It's an opinion. You want to know what an opinion isn't? A fact. I think most of you are forgetting that very real distinction.
I'm fairly sure charging your guests for your event is always going to be rude. Why don't you try attacking the argument rather than the arguers? I'd love for you to offer your reasoning for why charging your guests is considerate and generous.
My wedding is done and over. No one had low opinions. We had open bar during cocktail hour and wine service throughout all of dinner. There was plenty (read: PLENTY) of free booze.
There are many, many things I judge brides on at their weddings. Cash bar simply isn't one of them.
where's the chapter where emily post says to not be assholes in general cuz you missed that reading
It's after the chapter that states that it's a waste of time to sit around on an E board offering no productive advice and calling everyone assholes for following etiquette on the etiquette board.
My wedding is done and over. No one had low opinions. We had open bar during cocktail hour and wine service throughout all of dinner. There was plenty (read: PLENTY) of free booze.
There are many, many things I judge brides on at their weddings. Cash bar simply isn't one of them.
So your wedding is done and over and you felt the need to come to a site, which you just signed up for after your wedding, to make a wrong statement in an etiquette board. What is the point of that?
I can't stand people who pretend not to expect gifts at a wedding. GET REAL.
I'm not pretending, I really don't expect to get gifts. I understand that attending our wedding is a big cost in terms of both time and money for a lot of our guests. Them taking the time and money to attend is a huge gift. I truly don't expect anything else.
I think this only becomes an issue when people plan weddings they can't afford (kinda like it sounds like you did). If you had planned within your means (both in terms of money and planning a wedding that you could manage without the "assistance" of your MOH and whoever else you have slaving away for you), I think you would find yourself a lot less stressed. We are planning to throw an awesome party for all of our nearest and dearest that's within our budget. If we don't get a penny in gifts, we will still have thrown a great party, be married and have had a ton of fun.
Don't worry guys, I have the Wedding Police AND the Whambulance on speed dial!
My wedding is done and over. No one had low opinions. We had open bar during cocktail hour and wine service throughout all of dinner. There was plenty (read: PLENTY) of free booze.
There are many, many things I judge brides on at their weddings. Cash bar simply isn't one of them.
LOL! This is your opinion however, and also not fact. I'm not overly bothered by many racist opinions people have, but that doesn't make those opinions good or right.
Please explain how a cash bar is being considerate of your guests' comfort.
Re: Cash Bars - Everything you need to know in one place
You suck.
OP is rude for making such a blanket statement about something. If you don't like cash bars, don't have one. Same goes for lots of things in life. Abortions, divorce, kids. If you don't like 'em. Simply don't have 'em. End of story.
"It's rude to make your guests pay for things. End of story"
Well then, I sure hope your guests stole the money they put in the card for your wedding gift.
I'm fairly sure charging your guests for your event is always going to be rude. Why don't you try attacking the argument rather than the arguers? I'd love for you to offer your reasoning for why charging your guests is considerate and generous.
There are many, many things I judge brides on at their weddings. Cash bar simply isn't one of them.
LOL! This is your opinion however, and also not fact. I'm not overly bothered by many racist opinions people have, but that doesn't make those opinions good or right.
Please explain how a cash bar is being considerate of your guests' comfort.
An opinion can't be wrong.
And nope, I've been on TK under my old email and had to re-sign up with my new one after my wedding.