Wedding Reception Forum

When to throw engagement party?

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Re: When to throw engagement party?

  • Alh728,

    As I have just gotten engaged and started planning myself I might not be the most help. But the best advice I have gotten so far is to ignore everyone, this is your wedding you make the rules. So take what everyone said listen, then ball it all up and throw it out the window! If you want it in May go for it, if you want to help you mom plan that's awesome, and if you get gifts sweet if not that's cool to. And as to everyone getting on your case I thought they were being rude as well and would have been upset by there answers to. Good luck with your wedding.

    Rachel
  • @alh728 in regards to when to hold your engagement to be honest we are in the 21st century and everything has changed. I have been engaged since July 2013 and we have agreed to be married on August 2015. We are hosting our OWN engagement party at my parents house. Like I said, times have changed and its our wedding. Who says we have to stick to everything in a traditional matter?? Anyways, as long as my fiance and me agree to it, I'm honestly fine with it. Our engagement party will be this July 2014- to me it doesn't really matter how long before the wedding. However, depending how are you financially and what are your plans once after getting married then decide. As for the gifts, we aren't expecting any because the reason we are doing the party in the first place is to have both of our family get to know one another. As for the people whom we are inviting to the wedding will depend on who actually made the effort to go to the engagement. We will also be hosting the rehearsal dinner 1 month before the wedding date (at my fiances parents house)- to give thanks to everyone who is part of the wedding. One day before is to much stress all at once, so therefore my fiance and I have decided to do it our own way :) its your wedding and you are allowed to do as you please!! 
  • Girl, times are a changin'
    Don't apologize to anyone for being frustrated with the responses. If you want to throw your own engagement party then you go right ahead. If you want to assist in planning your engagement party that someone else is throwing for you the you go right ahead. It is NOT tacky! This is, hopefully, a once in a lifetime experience for you and your fiancé so why shouldn't it be perfect. I'm not saying turn into a Bridezilla but you can still appreciate your mom for throwing the party AND have input in it as well. I've been to several engagement parties where gifts and well wishes we're given in a monetary form to help you along with the wedding. There is nothing wrong with planning your own, assisting in the planning or receiving gifts from your guests. good luck to you and your fiancé! I hope your engagement party and your wedding is everything you dreamed of.
    As for the timing, if you're going to have a long engagement then try to have the party somewhere in the middle. You don't want to have it too far in advance before the wedding but you also don't want it too close. Picture your perfect party and go for that season. Just like the wedding, if all of the important people you want to share the day with can attend then the date is perfect be it a year after the engagement or a month.
  • So Lynn I take it you don't like my opinion?  Well I guess you'd prefer to bully a gal?  Seems like you missed my POINT.  There's not a shred of entitlement here...only the fact that she (Alh728) doesn't deserve to be called tacky and she and the rest of us ARE in fact entitled! It's their freaking wedding day! I'm sure you also felt the same way when you got married.  Don't act like you didn't.
    You are so right! People really need to learn to just shut their mouths. 
  • I just got engaged in November 2013 also and my fiance and I are planning for our engagement party to be in March 2014, because it will be very close friends and we are going to make our bridal party announcement then.  We are planning our wedding for Spring (April/May) 2015.  It is really up to you and what you think is best and what is right for you! No matter what you have to remember it is your day! Congrats and good luck with the planning!
  • I think May sounds like a good time for your engagement party.  Not too far from you're engagement.  As for throwing your own party....I say go for it!!  That's what i'm doing with only a little help from my parents!  I got engaged on 11/9/13 and am throwing my party 3/8/14.  Don't let these cranky people stop you.  Also, where I'm from, engagement parties are still gift giving parties with some stuff from your registry or couples date night ideas.  Good luck and Congratulations!!
  • Alh278, don't apologize. Don't know what's wrong with all these girls on here, but this site is meant to be helpful.

    I recently got engaged December 21, 2013. My mom was planning to host an engagement party in June 2014, around 6 months after. You can really do it whenever you want and there is nothing wrong with hosting your own engagement party. People host their own weddings, own bridal showers, so engagement parties are okay. Sometimes family can't pitch in or sometimes people just don't have the family. Doesn't mean you're not allowed to have one. And presents at engagement parties are not tacky at all! If someone wants to congratulate you with a present then they can. Read a bunch of wedding planning sites. They tell you to sign up for registries around the time of your engagement party.

    Congrats and good luck!!!!
  • PDKH said:
    Alh278, don't apologize. Don't know what's wrong with all these girls on here, but this site is meant to be helpful. I recently got engaged December 21, 2013. My mom was planning to host an engagement party in June 2014, around 6 months after. You can really do it whenever you want and there is nothing wrong with hosting your own engagement party. People host their own weddings, own bridal showers, so engagement parties are okay. Sometimes family can't pitch in or sometimes people just don't have the family. Doesn't mean you're not allowed to have one. And presents at engagement parties are not tacky at all! If someone wants to congratulate you with a present then they can. Read a bunch of wedding planning sites. They tell you to sign up for registries around the time of your engagement party. Congrats and good luck!!!!
    Yes, you host your own wedding, and then you host a reception to thank guests for attending the ceremony. The reception is not supposed to honor you, it honors the guest.

    And throwing your own bridal shower would be beyond tacky. Come on, even etiquette clueless people know that one. 
    You know what's tacky - PDKH?  Telling someone you know nothing about that they are tacky.  She may not have some of the support group that can help with throwing her bridal shower.  Sad...you so sad.  And I respectfully disagree.  The reception honors the parents, guest and bride and groom.
    If someone doesn't offer to throw a shower then you just don't get one. That's the breaks in life.

  • My family and my fiance's family have never really met. We are throwing an engagement-like party so the bridal party can meet and greet our families and for the two families to meet and have some fun. we are not expecting gifts, and just hope for it to be a nice get together. 
  • My family and my fiance's family have never really met. We are throwing an engagement-like party so the bridal party can meet and greet our families and for the two families to meet and have some fun. we are not expecting gifts, and just hope for it to be a nice get together. 
    Throwing a party to get everyone together is fine.  Just don't call it an engagement party because then that will take the whole "this party is for me!" out of it.  In fact you don't have to call it anything.

  • Persanely i think that you should host ir party if u want to. There are no rules against it. I got engaged early december and in march ill be hosting an engagement brunch at our housse in the mountains. I think its a great idea yo do it so both families get aquainted.

    Good luck with everything and have fun.
  • Persanely i think that you should host ir party if u want to. There are no rules against it. I got engaged early december and in march ill be hosting an engagement brunch at our housse in the mountains. I think its a great idea yo do it so both families get aquainted. Good luck with everything and have fun.

    But, in fact, there are rules against it. It is rude and self- important to throw a party in your own honor.

    I really don't see how this is such a hard concept to grasp. If no one offers to host an engagement party, you dont get one. Its not the end of the world. Same goes with a bridal shower.

    BabyFruit Ticker
  • All-  Her mother is NOT hosting the party, she lied about that.  She posted the same question over on WW.  And she is soley wanting the party to get gifts to finance her wedding.

    OP-please let the engagement party go.  It is rude to host your own, and many of the people over on WW are sending you down the dark road of tackiness.


    image


    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • I can't believe how rude people are being to this poster, then even ruder when she got defensive! Bullying someone by calling them tacky is rude. Its stressful enough to plan a wedding and she is not sure where to turn. My future mother in law threw my fiance and I an engagement party about 3 months after we got engaged and 14 months prior to our wedding date. It just happened to work out because we had family visiting from far away but otherwise we probably would not have even had one. My sister and her husband did not have an engagement party, so its not a requirement! Things vary for everybody. There are certain tried and true etiquette rules, but things change all the time with how things go. If planning is becoming difficult for your mom, don't worry about it! Good luck and congrats on your engagement!

    image


    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • Saying, "Hey come over to celebrate meeeeeeeeeeeee!!! And bring me some good gifts while you're at it, or you can't come!!!!!" is very much making an ass of yourself. 
    image
  • So my fiance' is in the marine core and we are having a long engagement 3 years to be exact. I am having an engagement party 1 year after we got engaged because of our situation and also because he's usually gone, I want this party for our families to get to know one another before the actual wedding. WE want to host our engagement party for that reason, I see nothing wrong in that and you shouldn't either. Sure my mother is also helping me financially but it is OUR choice as a couple to have an engagement party so we can celebrate with the people we love. My mother already has to host a shower, rehearsal dinner and pay for part of the wedding I do not want another burden of "hosting" another party for me. If you want to host your own party there is nothing wrong with that its not tacky or rude whatsoever, it should be celebrated. And as for the engagement party timeline, I just think that if you put it too close to the bridal shower and wedding family members will feel obliged to give all these gifts, space them out and help everyone out. Please don't listen to all these other women but then again I am from NY and we may do things differently. Hope this helped :) Enjoy the planning
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