Hey Maggie.
You really should beat it. Aren't you already married? You had your day in the light. Newbie or not, you are a condescending bitch who clearly has nothing better to do. I'd love to see the plaque on your desk that says "I know all about weddings I make the rules" get the fuck over yourself.
I didn't come on here to be intentionally rude but girl please. You are just a sad sack of a child pretending to be an adult.
And just so you know, you can try and cut into me all you'd like on here..... It doesn't matter to me. But you are a woman, and you should be supportive of other women. Not some annoying negative bitch who is crucifying someone because they want to do things differently for THEIR WEDDING
Now please leave this poor girl alone, she has enough to worry about
There's the post I have been waiting for. Me not agreeing with you and your rude ideas in no way makes me a bitch. I can only be supportive of good ideas, I in no way will validate bad ones. Everyone can have their wedding how they see fit, but when you post things on this forum you won't always get the validation you seek. Throwing parties in your own honor is bad form whether you choose to believe it or not.
@KnotPorscha pretty sure calling someone a condescending bitch is against the TOS.
Totally OT: Did something happen to this thread? It keeps telling me there are new posts and shows a different person as the latest poster when I look at the thread list, but there are no new posts when I click on the thread.
I think it's because the knot gods are banning some of the psychos. Although more crazy people keep jumping on.
Hey alh728 I'm with you! I started to get a little frustrated with the replies you received as we'll ! It is 2014, if I want to throw my own shower I will do just that! My family and friends aren't rolling in the dough. I'm in my 30's, already have a child, my fiancé and I both have a careers which provide a pretty good living and we're paying for our wedding ourselves, so why can't we throw ourselves an engagement party! Tacky please! We just want to celebrate our happiness with those we love and care about us, just don't have the financial means to throw us a party, and I wouldn't expect them too! I plan on having a wedding free from all these medieval traditions! Get over selves ladies, and do whatever makes you and your future husband happy @alh728!
If you've already had your wedding then why bother to continue to go to a wedding planning site and message board? And get worked up about it in the process. Seems like it might be time to move on with your life. Just a thought.
So when you need major surgery who would you like to perform it? Someone who has been around the block a few times, has a large amount of surgeries under their belt and has learned from their mistakes? Or a fresh out of school newbie who has never performed a surgery before? Same applies here. I stick around because A) I love weddings, I love to talk about weddings and C) since I have planned one, made mistakes and learned from them I figure I could offer some advice. But apparently you could give a shit about learning anything from people who have been there and done that so why are you even here since you seem to know everything?
You are very amusing. I'd hardly compare wedding planning to having surgery but whatever you say. But you're right, I could give a shit about getting advice from "know it all" former brides such as yourself. I do however, welcome advice and tips from people with a more pleasant attitude. Just because you have planned a wedding by no means makes you an expert sweetheart. But carry on thinking so if that's what makes you ignorantly happy
You are very amusing. I'd hardly compare wedding planning to having surgery but whatever you say. But you're right, I could give a shit about getting advice from "know it all" former brides such as yourself. I do however, welcome advice and tips from people with a more pleasant attitude. Just because you have planned a wedding by no means makes you an expert sweetheart. But carry on thinking so if that's what makes you ignorantly happy
Never said I was an expert but I do know some things about planning a wedding since I have been there and done that. And you go right on and get your advice elsewhere because I wouldn't want to help such a "lovely" person as yourself.
Carrying on with my ignorantly happy self. Ta-ta sweetheart.
Wow! Remind me never to ask for any advice on this site! Sheesh!
First off the newbies vs oldies debate is absolutely Ridiculous.
We love new members and talking about weddings. We don't like newbies who make posts, get feedback and criticism, then get all butthurt and defensive when we didn't validate their bad ideas, then start throwing around the phrases "bullying" "attacking" etc.
It gets old, really quickly. Ask the people who have participated on these boards for many years.
ETA: The OP initially got very good advice and no one was rude to her, bullied her, etc. People were blunt and offered feedback on something related to her question, but no one was abusive. This thread didn't start to go off of the rails until it was revealed that she lied in her OP and then all of the 1st time posters magically appeared to validate her OP. . . perhaps from another wedding site?
As far as me what your provided was far from constructive criticism, it was name-calling, bashing and just anger. I'm not offended whatsoever because I don't know you and don't need your validation. But for someone who is saying to value etiquette you sure don't have any online. At least be respectful and provide CONSTRUCTIVE criticism. If all this makes you so upset why be on the forums then? Just to troll? If it bothers you, and/or you can't add anything constructive to the conversation then do us all a favor and remove yourself from it.
I didn't call anyone names, I was just very blunt with my response. I explained why hosting your own e-party was rude and tacky, regardless of whether you exxpect gifts or not. I was absolutley constructive. . ., And etiquette which is the art of properly hosting your guests has nothing to do with posting styles on message boards.
If you think I'm trolling then lurk more. I'm cetainly not a troll, lol. And please don't try and tell others how to post or when not to post, its just silly.
Wrong you were quite rude. Nothing constructive about it. And remember these are your OPINIONS and nothing more. There is not a fact that has to be a certain way. It isn't tacky to me, that's just your opinion. There is no one right or wrong at all. Discussion over.
Nope, you just can't take criticism. Me being rude is YOUR OPINION. The etiquette of throwing your own party is not opinion, it's FACT. There most definitely is a right and wrong when it comes to etiquette. . . lurk more and you might learn something if you care to.
Discussion NOT over, but nice try. Are you a moderator or something? No? Oh well then I guess we can carry on until the thread is closed!
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
Hey alh728 I'm with you! I started to get a little frustrated with the replies you received as we'll ! It is 2014, if I want to throw my own shower I will do just that! My family and friends aren't rolling in the dough. I'm in my 30's, already have a child, my fiancé and I both have a careers which provide a pretty good living and we're paying for our wedding ourselves, so why can't we throw ourselves an engagement party! Tacky please! We just want to celebrate our happiness with those we love and care about us, just don't have the financial means to throw us a party, and I wouldn't expect them too! I plan on having a wedding free from all these medieval traditions! Get over selves ladies, and do whatever makes you and your future husband happy @alh728!
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
I could only read the first page before I got totally frustrated.. Half the fun of getting engaged is having parties.. Go ahead and throw your own party or "co host." People like having reasons to party:)
I'm okay with breaking rules Hun. I'm doing so with my own wedding. The way you are writing stuff is pretty condescending. The girl was simply asking for advice, hoping for something constructive. Your customs and traditions are going to be different from everyone else. I thought wedding planning was supposed to be fun. You've made your point you are a traditionalist and apparently live to comment on other peoples ideas and decisions. We got it. You like to report people who are appalled by the way you responded to the post. Shouldn't you be enjoying your marriage and telling women to make theirs as unique and different as they want and to just enjoy the planning and not let others tell you what's right and wrong? Some people are unbelievable. And yes I posted it, but I am sure I'm not the only one thinking it
I could only read the first page before I got totally frustrated.. Half the fun of getting engaged is having parties.. Go ahead and throw your own party or "co host." People like having reasons to party:)
You guys really don't understand the difference between a regular house party, an adult birthday party- where no gifts are given, and a gift giving party like an engagement party or a bridal shower, do you?
Just in case it might get through to someone still lurking in this trainwreck, it is poor etiquette to host a gift giving event in your own honor. It looks really gift grabby, even if you state or spread by word of mouth no gifts are required. That actually makes you look worse, because it makes it look like you were expecting gifts, which is rude in and of itself.
Engagement parties, bridal showers, and bachlorette parties are all gifts that are given to you by a friend or family member- they have to offer to throw one of these events for you. You aren't entitled to them just because you are getting married, and you can't throw them for yourself if no one offers to throw one for you.
It's great that you are all excited to be engaged, you should be! But that is no excuse for acting in poor form.
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
I'm okay with breaking rules Hun. I'm doing so with my own wedding. The way you are writing stuff is pretty condescending. The girl was simply asking for advice, hoping for something constructive. Your customs and traditions are going to be different from everyone else. I thought wedding planning was supposed to be fun. You've made your point you are a traditionalist and apparently live to comment on other peoples ideas and decisions. We got it. You like to report people who are appalled by the way you responded to the post. Shouldn't you be enjoying your marriage and telling women to make theirs as unique and different as they want and to just enjoy the planning and not let others tell you what's right and wrong? Some people are unbelievable. And yes I posted it, but I am sure I'm not the only one thinking it
I don't think this site is going to work out for you and a few others.
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
Awww how sweet. But I didn't say I was leaving. Just won't be taking any tips or advice for my happy day from such a clearly unhappy person such as yourself. But I'll remain here and grab tips and advice from people who want to lift people up during their happy time rather than put them down.
If you want to have an engagement party six months after getting engaged, go for it. If you and your fiance want to throw it yourselves, go for it. If it's about getting everyone close to you together to celebrate, what's tacky about that? Tell people no gifts when you invite them. Who cares what all these other brides think?
Hey Maggie.
You really should beat it. Aren't you already married? You had your day in the light. Newbie or not, you are a condescending bitch who clearly has nothing better to do. I'd love to see the plaque on your desk that says "I know all about weddings I make the rules" get the fuck over yourself.
I didn't come on here to be intentionally rude but girl please. You are just a sad sack of a child pretending to be an adult.
And just so you know, you can try and cut into me all you'd like on here..... It doesn't matter to me. But you are a woman, and you should be supportive of other women. Not some annoying negative bitch who is crucifying someone because they want to do things differently for THEIR WEDDING
Now please leave this poor girl alone, she has enough to worry about
There's the post I have been waiting for. Me not agreeing with you and your rude ideas in no way makes me a bitch. I can only be supportive of good ideas, I in no way will validate bad ones. Everyone can have their wedding how they see fit, but when you post things on this forum you won't always get the validation you seek. Throwing parties in your own honor is bad form whether you choose to believe it or not.
@KnotPorscha pretty sure calling someone a condescending bitch is against the TOS.
Dang. I have been so busy over on Etiquette that I have missed this one completely. I'm not sure I have the strength to start at page 1..........
I agree with you TOTALLY, some of the responses to your question have been rude and far from helpful. Isnt this supposed to be a happy place? I think you were nicer than I would have been. Good Luck and Congrats!
I think you have The Knot confused with this..........
I beg of you Addie......anything but that! I shudder anytime I feel that tremor.......And I am a complete dish rag from another thread at the moment....take pity on me just for tonight??
I could only read the first page before I got totally frustrated.. Half the fun of getting engaged is having parties.. Go ahead and throw your own party or "co host." People like having reasons to party:)
You guys really don't understand the difference between a regular house party, an adult birthday party- where no gifts are given, and a gift giving party like an engagement party or a bridal shower, do you?
Just in case it might get through to someone still lurking in this trainwreck, it is poor etiquette to host a gift giving event in your own honor. It looks really gift grabby, even if you state or spread by word of mouth no gifts are required. That actually makes you look worse, because it makes it look like you were expecting gifts, which is rude in and of itself.
Engagement parties, bridal showers, and bachlorette parties are all gifts that are given to you by a friend or family member- they have to offer to throw one of these events for you. You aren't entitled to them just because you are getting married, and you can't throw them for yourself if no one offers to throw one for you.
It's great that you are all excited to be engaged, you should be! But that is no excuse for acting in poor form.
Has anyone confirmed that these are actually adults??
Thank God there was a point that passed the negativity!! I just wanted to say Congratulations on your engagement!! I got engaged on the exact same day and am planning my wedding for the exact same time, fall 2015. My sister (of course maid oh honor) instantly offered to throw/host engagement party but with full knwoledge an dno doubt that I'd be right there along side her planning and helping!! Also, I don't believe in rules like that, if more people researched they would see that an engagement party should be thrown at least a year before the wedding, there is a "basic" timeline even on TK. I see nothing wrong with throwing 6 months after the actual engagement! Everyone has diff circumstances! My party is def not being thrown til May or June for several reasons! The weather being warmer for outside especially! As well as the definition or purpose of Engagement party IS for the 2 families and hopefully bridal party to get together, even meet for the first time and celebrate together!! I've specified no gifts because that is not what it's about. I agree with the latter part of the comments posted, Do whats best for you, whens best for you however it applies to your own special circumstances. Theres NOTHING tacky about it!
Totally OT: Did something happen to this thread? It keeps telling me there are new posts and shows a different person as the latest poster when I look at the thread list, but there are no new posts when I click on the thread.
I am having a similar problem. I have made 4 posts on this thread. They are indicated in my activity log. But when I check the thread, none of my posts appear.
And it just dawned on me that the odds of this one showing up are questionable, which begs the question.....why am I posting it??
You are so cute! Im on the same boat got engaged Sept 2013. My Wedding date is March 2015 but we decided to have our engagement party may 2014. I think its when you have your set venue so you can talk about it a bit. Weather is perfect and it should be a fun easy going mingling event. Don't stress enjoy every moment of your wedding planning. Once in a life time event!!!!!
You are right not too far from your engagement but and yet not too far from your wedding date. Your date choice is perfect.
PS: Some people in this world are super negative and rude (not happy with their lives). Life is better when you are happy and nice to others. So smile stay pretty and ignore those rude people.
I think what you said is more than fitting for the situation. I've never posted on here before because there seems to be a lot of "snotty" posters who don't have the good sense to just stop being rude. I swear half the people on here are jaded brides who's wedding planning isn't going well so they take it out on other people.
Beside the point, I actually had this same question. I've actually been engaged for a year now and nowhere near ready to even begin planning because my fiance wants to be money conscious first. I sadly will not be having an engagement party it seems because my mom said we are "not the type of people" and that engagements parties "are tacky to flaunt your child around." I learned that over a year ago so I gave up on the idea. When I seen this thread I wanted to read it so I knew if I still had a chance after a year. I'm sure glad nobody on this forum is invited to my wedding. Half of you people sound like you belong as one of the nasty brides from Four Weddings on TLC!
I think what you said is more than fitting for the situation. I've never posted on here before because there seems to be a lot of "snotty" posters who don't have the good sense to just stop being rude. I swear half the people on here are jaded brides who's wedding planning isn't going well so they take it out on other people.
Beside the point, I actually had this same question. I've actually been engaged for a year now and nowhere near ready to even begin planning because my fiance wants to be money conscious first. I sadly will not be having an engagement party it seems because my mom said we are "not the type of people" and that engagements parties "are tacky to flaunt your child around." I learned that over a year ago so I gave up on the idea. When I seen this thread I wanted to read it so I knew if I still had a chance after a year. I'm sure glad nobody on this forum is invited to my wedding. Half of you people sound like you belong as one of the nasty brides from Four Weddings on TLC!
I agree with you TOTALLY, some of the responses to your question have been rude and far from helpful. Isnt this supposed to be a happy place? I think you were nicer than I would have been. Good Luck and Congrats!
I think you have The Knot confused with this........
Re: When to throw engagement party?
Discussion NOT over, but nice try. Are you a moderator or something? No? Oh well then I guess we can carry on until the thread is closed!
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
What kind of waffles Addie?
Just in case it might get through to someone still lurking in this trainwreck, it is poor etiquette to host a gift giving event in your own honor. It looks really gift grabby, even if you state or spread by word of mouth no gifts are required. That actually makes you look worse, because it makes it look like you were expecting gifts, which is rude in and of itself.
Engagement parties, bridal showers, and bachlorette parties are all gifts that are given to you by a friend or family member- they have to offer to throw one of these events for you. You aren't entitled to them just because you are getting married, and you can't throw them for yourself if no one offers to throw one for you.
It's great that you are all excited to be engaged, you should be! But that is no excuse for acting in poor form.
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
I don't think this site is going to work out for you and a few others.
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
but we decided to have our engagement party may 2014. I think its when you have your set venue so you can talk about it a bit. Weather is perfect and it should be a fun easy going mingling event.
Don't stress enjoy every moment of your wedding planning. Once in a life time event!!!!!
You are right not too far from your engagement but and yet not too far from your wedding date.
Your date choice is perfect.
PS:
Some people in this world are super negative and rude (not happy with their lives). Life is better when you are happy and nice to others. So smile stay pretty and ignore those rude people.