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Legally married, now having a "real" wedding? Stop here first! (AKA, the PPD FAQ thread)

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Re: Legally married, now having a "real" wedding? Stop here first! (AKA, the PPD FAQ thread)

  • sunshinejenn03sunshinejenn03 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    Legitimate question for you guys:  my cousin, who is gay, already got married two years ago here in DC.  Not a commitment ceremony, but a true JoP ceremony complete with family.  She and her spouse are planning their wedding in SC.  Is that a PPD?  Because it sounds like it is.  Technically speaking, she and her wife could have just planned their whole wedding here where they were legally married (especially since who knows when SC will get their S together). 
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  • ladyamanuetladyamanuet member
    5 Love Its First Comment First Anniversary First Answer
    edited April 2014

    sunshinejenn03 said:
    Legitimate question for you guys:  my cousin, who is gay, already got married two years ago here in DC.  Not a commitment ceremony, but a true JoP ceremony complete with family.  She and her spouse are planning their wedding in SC.  Is that a PPD?  Because it sounds like it is.  Technically speaking, she and her wife could have just planned their whole wedding here where they were legally married (especially since who knows when SC will get their S together). 
    If  family was there, who is this second wedding supposedly for?

    Edited to add:  It doesn't matter, because it is absolutely a PPD IF they are doing a ceremony, and cake cuttings, and all that wedding stuff.  If it is just a party with food, drink, and dancing to celebrate their marriage - that is different.  But if they are planning another ceremony and all that, it is def a PPD. I only asked the above because I am curious what the point of this second day is, since it's not like it is celebrating that the state they wanted to get married in now legally allows them to...
    My reaction to most everything on the internet today:
    image
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  • sunshinejenn03sunshinejenn03 member
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    It's to have their dream wedding to celebrate with everyone.  It's next year, so it will be 3 years after the fact.  I'm asking because same-sex marriage gets a free-pass on here...
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  • grumbledoregrumbledore member
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    sunshinejenn03 said: It's to have their dream wedding to celebrate with everyone.  It's next year, so it will be 3 years after the fact.  I'm asking because same-sex marriage gets a free-pass on here...
    No no no - same-sex marriage gets a pass when, and only when, the couple in question has been unable to get legally married.  I'd also give it a pass when the couple in question has     just gotten legally married in another state but cannot be legally married in their home state - those people are being unjustly abused by their government and should not be penalized because of this.  I would never judge a same-sex couple who gets legally married in MA and then goes back to their own state and has a "wedding" since they are being discriminated against by their home state.  But I also wouldn't want them to wait to do it - just plan the wedding, go get married where it's legal, and come right back and have the wedding you were denied by the state in which you live.

    I think in this case, @sunshinejenn03, they already had a wedding with guests present and should call it a day.  It's been 3 years.  They should just throw a huge party if they want to celebrate with everyone.

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  • manateehuggermanateehugger member
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    grumbledore said:
    sunshinejenn03 said:
    It's to have their dream wedding to celebrate with everyone.  It's next year, so it will be 3 years after the fact.  I'm asking because same-sex marriage gets a free-pass on here...
    No no no - same-sex marriage gets a pass when, and only when, the couple in question has been unable to get legally married.  I'd also give it a pass when the couple in question has just gotten legally married in another state but cannot be legally married in their home state - those people are being unjustly abused by their government and should not be penalized because of this.  I would never judge a same-sex couple who gets legally married in MA and then goes back to their own state and has a "wedding" since they are being discriminated against by their home state.  But I also wouldn't want them to wait to do it - just plan the wedding, go get married where it's legal, and come right back and have the wedding you were denied by the state in which you live.

    I think in this case, @sunshinejenn03, they already had a wedding with guests present and should call it a day.  It's been 3 years.  They should just throw a huge party if they want to celebrate with everyone.
    Is there a reason they can't just host an all-out 3 year anniversary party? .

    I would not have considered it a PPD had they had a wedding in SC, and drove up to DC before or after to make it legal, but this seems really really silly. 
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  • sunshinejenn03sunshinejenn03 member
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    Alright, just testing your consistency ;)

    And thanks for the answers!
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  • HeatherMD02HeatherMD02 member
    First Comment
    It was oh so "politely" suggested to me (really, isn't etiquette about manners? Come on, people.) that I jump over to this forum, so that I may fill my brain with the so called "facts". I've read the first few pages of this forum, and all I have to say is this: I am having a so called PPD. My reasons are my own and I feel no need to justify it or defend it. I won't be lying to my family, nor will I be expecting gifts. This annoys the ever living piss out of probably 95% of you here in this page. That's okay because I doubt I know any of you so it's not likely that I'll be insulting you with the audacity of inviting you to my wedding. I'm all for being polite. My family raised me to be respectful and polite even to spite myself, and I'm marrying a good old Southern boy (raised the same way AND having etiquette forced down his throat by the good old USMC), and we're looking forward to our two families getting together when we renew our vows 1-2 years after our legal wedding day. Scary internet people on theknot.com won't change our minds.

    I think etiquette is a good thing, when it's actually etiquette. You're respectful to the people around you, and hold no hard feelings towards those who don't agree with you, because forcing your opinions on anyone is not polite under any circumstances. I'm happy for everyone who gets married, whether it be in front of a JOP, a DW, or any other kind of wedding you and SO could ever dream of. However, all our opinions are different, as are our situations. Those who lie or cheat to their families are in the wrong. Other than that, I've no right to judge anyone. Enjoy all your "special days," whether they be just one or many. I for sure know I won't be coming back here, since there is no right or wrong in the etiquette forums, where people look for any excuse to judge you.

    Oh, and congrats to anyone who comes in after this post and comes up with a clever insult. How polite. ; )
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  • ccvasquezccvasquez member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    My perspective is that in other cultures and countries you DO have a civil ceremony first that is followed by a religious ceremony.  What I am reading from the original post, is that American law ignores differences in heritage and culture.  If someone is from such a heritage/culture/nationality, that is what they will consider doing, because that is normal for them. 
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  • Rgagne2003Rgagne2003 member
    First Comment
    I agree!  We are going to the Dominican in Nov, and a week before we are going to the court house.  We didn't want to spend time or money getting blood work (Yes, I said blood work.  Its a foreign country, thats how it works) done in a strange place.  We want to enjoy.  We aren't advertising that its not the "legal" wedding, however, If friends or family are offended - they can decline. Im not to worried about it!  
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  • brweddingjcbrweddingjc member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited April 2014
    According to the dictionary, etiquette can be defined as "conventional requirements as to social behavior; proprieties of conduct as established in any class or community or for any occasion". Etiquette can vary according to country, background, culture, class, community, religion, etc. I was born in Brazil and lived there for many years before I moved to Australia where I currently reside now. I can certainly say some etiquette rules in Brazil are very different to Australia, and some Brazilian and Australian etiquette rules are different than the US and so on. Many are also the same. Not only between countries, but some states within the country can also have different traditions and/or laws and with that could come different etiquette rules. Same with different religions, different background, etc. The way I see it, etiquette is more like a guide than a "law" - a lot of people here seems very against this so called "PPD" - I understand being upset about being lied but if the couple is not lying to people about it I do not see what the big fuss is about.

    Like I said I am from Brazil. I am currently engaged to an Australian and our wedding will be very different. We are incorporating a little bit of BR and Aussie in our wedding. We actually had a large engagement party in Australia with our our friends and family (mostly his, since mine couldnt come all the way from Brazil) and we are having our wedding in Brazil where we will be able to share our love with my family and friends over there and anyone from the engagement party who is can/is willing to make the trip. We are doing everything we can to accommodate all the guests, and make ourselves as well as everyone happy and comfortable on our wedding day, including explaining some of the cultural differences to anyone who is interested. And although I might be breaching one of miss manners etiquette rules, or maybe one of Australian etiquette rules by following a Brazilian tradition or law, or one of Brazilian rules by trying to add some touch from AUS weddings there too, but FI and I are lucky enough to have friends and family who love us and will tolerate any possible breach.

    I get honestly shocked sometimes in this forum by some people's lack of tolerance or understanding for other's people's circumstances and background. I find some people are really harsh towards others who are not following "miss manners rules by the book". The world is getting so smaller and groups of people are so much more diverse that I find it strange seeing that some people still act like their way is the only correct way or can be so judgmental.

    Also regarding the "real wedding", can't people just accept that people have different views about it? I am not a religious people but I can completely understand and respect a person's right to view their religious wedding as their real wedding. It is not an attempt to belittle a couple who had a JP wedding, it is only their feeling about the matter. I am not going to get in the argument about getting government benefits because I don't know how things work over in the US so I can't judge people's intentions when signing the papers. In Australia just pretty much living together with your SO classifies you as a de facto which warrants you the same rights in family law as a married couple. So technically in Australia according to the law I (who's been living with my FI for the past year and a bit) am as good as married. Signing the paper here is in a legal point of view just symbolic. On the other hand in Brazil (at least in the state I am from) you can't sign the papers in the church, you can't sign the papers in the ceremony, you pretty much go to the registry being able to bring only their two witnesses because it doesn't fit anyone else in the little room and sign the papers. Many couples wants to share their vows, many couples want family and friends present to celebrate with them, some brides wants to be given away, many couples want their vows and marriage to be blessed. I do not consider any of this a breach of etiquette. I am all for being honest, getting the support of those important to you and do what makes you happy!

    But, this is just one person's opinion! 
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  • Jells2dot0Jells2dot0 mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited April 2014
    I agree!  We are going to the Dominican in Nov, and a week before we are going to the court house.  We didn't want to spend time or money getting blood work (Yes, I said blood work.  Its a foreign country, thats how it works) done in a strange place.  We want to enjoy.  We aren't advertising that its not the "legal" wedding, however, If friends or family are offended - they can decline. Im not to worried about it!  

    If I could bold on my phone, I would.

    So, to quote: "It's a foreign country, that's how it works."

    Um, no, that is not how it works in every foreign country. In fact, if you are a US citizen, that's not even how it works in the DR:

    http://santodomingo.usembassy.gov/mobile//marriage_dr-e.html

    No blood tests are needed. So, you will really let everyone spend thousands of dollars to attend a ceremony that isn't even your actual wedding, especially when it's not that difficult to meet the requirements of having a legally binding wedding in country?? Oh, and you're not telling them the truth? Nice.

     

    edit- spelling

     







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  • Jells2dot0Jells2dot0 mod
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    karimichele13 said:

    I have been incredibly disappointed by many thingsI have read on these
    message boards today. Women should be uplifting and helping each other,
    not making people feel badly about their situations.

    I agree
    there are general rules of etiquette and having to pay of couple bucks
    for a drink is really annoying but everyone has their own situation,
    their own story, and their own reason for their decisions. People who
    love are care for the couple are there to celebrate their love and
    that's really all that matters.

    I personally was almost in tears
    after reading some of the posts on these message boards today. My fiance
    and I have fought like hell to be together, and unfortunately if we
    want to spend the rest of our lives on the same continent, have to be
    legally married in a time frame that our family will not be able to fly
    in from all over the world to attend. (We're on the east coast. My
    family is in California and his is in Ireland) It sucks, we hate it but
    it is what is and it is what we have to do.

    That being said, in
    no way do we want to give up the once in a lifetime chance to make our
    commitment to each other in front of our families. Although we will
    already be married, when we say our vows in front of our friends and
    family, it will mean every bit as much (if not more because everyone is
    there) as when we do it the first time.

    I had never heard of a
    PPD before today and like I said was in tears thinking I would never
    have that moment of walking down the aisle and saying my vows to my
    husband in front of our loved ones. I am not doing this for gifts (In
    fact, I have my mother's crystal and china, and really don't want any),
    it really is about sharing own wedding with our loved ones.

    I
    discussed this with both my best friend and my sister in law today who
    told me I was being ridiculous and anyone who deserved to be at our
    wedding would want to be there whether they knew we were married or not.
    In fact, everyone who is going to be invited to our wedding is just so
    happy for us to finally start our lives together they really wouldn't
    care what we did they just want to celebrate with us.

    My best
    friend also told me that I am actually a "pretty princess" (I ran the
    Disney Princess 1/2 Marathon dressed as Belle this year). So I don't
    really give a damn what anyone says, I'm going to embrace my pretty
    princess day, because after what my fiance and I have been through, we
    do in fact deserve it. Anyone who doesn't like it, I don't really want
    to come anyway.

    So my point is, before bashing anyone's dreams on
    an anonymous wedding board, please remember that you don't know them or
    their stories but their friends and family do and are likely to feel
    far differently.

    And brides, please don't chance your weddings
    based on what you've read here! Talk it over with your fiance and
    family, and I'm sure you'll find a reasonable perspective.

    Come on, we're grown ups getting married, not 10th graders. Let's support each other, not make others feel badly :-)

    Life is a series of events and choices. Sometimes we get everything we have ever dreamed of and other times we are faced with difficulties, adversity, and tough choices. We may all feel we are deserving of the best, but sometimes we have to do what is best in that moment and not what is ideal. The decision to get married is one of the biggest in our lives and people make that decision for a variety of reasons. People also marry in a variety of different ways. No matter which way you choose to legally wed, it is special and meaningful. No amount of money, or size of party, or number of witnesses can change that. I hope you are able to celebrate your marriage with friends and family when it is right for you, but do not take away from the special moment when you became spouses. It's a moment many people fight for and hope for and is not to be taken lightly.

     







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  • MobKazMobKaz member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Rgagne2003 said:
    I agree!  We are going to the Dominican in Nov, and a week before we are going to the court house.  We didn't want to spend time or money getting blood work (Yes, I said blood work.  Its a foreign country, thats how it works) done in a strange place.  We want to enjoy.  We aren't advertising that its not the "legal" wedding, however, If friends or family are offended - they can decline. Im not to worried about it!  
    You aren't advertising that you are LYING.  How can friends or family be offended or decline if they are not told the truth to make an informed decision?  How does being truthful prevent you from "enjoying" your wedding?    Sounds like you have a lot of respect for your friends and family.
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  • scarletwitch09scarletwitch09 member
    First Comment
    who the hell CARES????  who cares if they sign the marriage license two weeks before or two hours before or two minutes after the ceremony??  IMO EVRY SINGLE BRIDE ON HERE who is going to extreme cost to look her very best and throw an awesome party is having her own version of a pretty princess day.  thats THE POINT.  its a CELEBRATION.  those of you who think its bad ettiquette can NOT COME.  and GET OVER YOURSELVES.  Youre being mean for no reason here.  
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  • xhellokittyxhellokitty member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    scarletwitch09 said:
    who the hell CARES????  who cares if they sign the marriage license two weeks before or two hours before or two minutes after the ceremony??  IMO EVRY SINGLE BRIDE ON HERE who is going to extreme cost to look her very best and throw an awesome party is having her own version of a pretty princess day.  thats THE POINT.  its a CELEBRATION.  those of you who think its bad ettiquette can NOT COME.  and GET OVER YOURSELVES.  Youre being mean for no reason here.  
    the number issue most people have, that has been reiterated many times, is the LYING. if you keep the truth from people, how the fuck can they just 'not come?' they don't even know that they're going to a fake wedding -- and if i went to a destination wedding, shelling out for a plane ticket, and found out months or even years later, you bet your pretty princess ass i'm going to be pissed off. if you have no problem with it and you're sure your guests have no problems with a ppd, fucking TELL THEM you're already married and let them make the decision to attend or not.
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  • Danrenee411Danrenee411 member
    First Comment

    I'm having a "PPD". My husband unexpectedly got orders to transfer  to Guam and we were not legally married yet, so we had to do so quickly in order to have us stay together. Was I supposed to chose between living for three years without my family or worrying about people thinking I was having a "PPD" because I hadn't had my ceremony yet (which is 4 mths after our legal union)? I think people are way to judgmental. Get over yourselves. Not everyone's situation is like yours. If you don't want to attend someone's wedding over something like this, don't. I feel bad for the person who invited you, because obviously they thought you were their family/friend who cares. Grow up. That being said of course things are annoying (gaps and such), but realized weddings are expensive, but I think everyone tries their best to accommodate and make it fun as possible for everyone.

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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Danrenee411 said:

    I'm having a "PPD". My husband unexpectedly got orders to transfer  to Guam and we were not legally married yet, so we had to do so quickly in order to have us stay together. Was I supposed to chose between living for three years without my family or worrying about people thinking I was having a "PPD" because I hadn't had my ceremony yet (which is 4 mths after our legal union)? I think people are way to judgmental. Get over yourselves. Not everyone's situation is like yours. If you don't want to attend someone's wedding over something like this, don't. I feel bad for the person who invited you, because obviously they thought you were their family/friend who cares. Grow up. That being said of course things are annoying (gaps and such), but realized weddings are expensive, but I think everyone tries their best to accommodate and make it fun as possible for everyone.

    No.  You get over yourself and grow up.  Your situation is not unique and does not justify a breach of etiquette.  You want to post on an etiquette board that you don't agree with a point of etiquette, sorry to have to tell you that you are barking up the wrong tree.  We aren't going to endorse your breach, especially when you get so snotty as to tell us to get over ourselves or grow up.  It does nothing to enhance your cause.
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  • karimichelekarimichele member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    So I took a poll at work today. I work with a LOT of women. No one had ever heard of a PPD and no one said that they would care.

    I'm curious as to where PPD came from and when it became part of etiquette because no one, including my wedding planner SIL had heard of it.

    Actually, one person had been to several PPDs and said they were the most fun weddings she had been so. (Side note- PPDs are EXTREMELY common if one person isn't American, and people usually don't advertise it so people won't think they're using their spouse for a green card)

    Anyways, I'm really curious, when did this become a thing?
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  • APDSS22APDSS22 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    karimichele13 said:
    So I took a poll at work today. I work with a LOT of women. No one had ever heard of a PPD and no one said that they would care.

    I'm curious as to where PPD came from and when it became part of etiquette because no one, including my wedding planner SIL had heard of it.

    Actually, one person had been to several PPDs and said they were the most fun weddings she had been so. (Side note- PPDs are EXTREMELY common if one person isn't American, and people usually don't advertise it so people won't think they're using their spouse for a green card)

    Anyways, I'm really curious, when did this become a thing?
    "PPD" is what we call it here.  No one outside of brides using this site would know that specific terminology.  Have they heard of people having a legal quickie wedding at the JOP then having a blowout special day later and calling it a wedding?  That's a PPD, even if they don't know that terminology for it. 

    Most people try to call it their "wedding" but since they're already legally married and don't get divorced, it can't possibly be a wedding.  No one is getting married.  Someone's prancing around in a white dress pretending very hard and maybe not telling people she's legally married.  But it's not a wedding.  I'm glad if people haven't heard of this form of rudeness.  If it were to die up completely, that would be great.  People can have a super great party to celebrate their recent marriage, that's fine.  People have parties for way less awesome reasons than marrying the love of your life.  But most people don't like being lied to or the sense of betrayal when they find out afterward that it wasn't a wedding. 
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  • karimichelekarimichele member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    Actually, my point was no one had heard about a "PPD" because no one I talked to actually cared whether the couple was already married whatever reason. The mass consensus was that the point was to witness the couple exchanging vows and celebrate their love, whether it was the first time they were exchanging vows, or the 5th time.
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  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    So I took a poll at work today. I work with a LOT of women. No one had ever heard of a PPD and no one said that they would care.

    I'm curious as to where PPD came from and when it became part of etiquette because no one, including my wedding planner SIL had heard of it.

    Actually, one person had been to several PPDs and said they were the most fun weddings she had been so. (Side note- PPDs are EXTREMELY common if one person isn't American, and people usually don't advertise it so people won't think they're using their spouse for a green card)

    Anyways, I'm really curious, when did this become a thing?


    ** stuck in box
    I'm what they call PPD-lite.    I've travelled overseas to a PPD-Catholic wedding months after their civil wedding. I knew what it was and still went.  I'm well aware a lot of countries in the world where religious ceremonies are not legal.   As a long as I'm on the up and up, I'm good.     

    In the states however that is not always the case.  There is no need for both a civil and religious ceremony.  I like a good party, so more than likely I would attend a known PPD.   I would get pissed if I knew the couple had gotten married long before this wedding and intentional keep a secret in order to make sure the guests felt like they saw the first one.   I get having to get married because of circumstances.  Shit happens.  I just don't understand keeping it a secret from family and friends so you can have a "real wedding".
    Basically,  as long as I'm in the know I'm all good.  I wouldn't even really care about the couple who got married a few days before or after their ceremony due to legal issues in another country.  I've travelled enough to know how we do things here is not the same everywhere.

      However, those people who had to get married to move to Guam and lie to everyone piss me off.   I get it,  in order to have the benefits you need to be married.  Own up to it, that's all I ask.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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  • dwhereicomedwhereicome member
    First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    I have to say I find it pretty funny that the most vocal haters of PPDs are already married... In one case for THREE YEARS and are still posting on snarky bride blogs... When this issue came up at weddings wire the minister pointed out that there is a clear difference between a marriage and wedding. There is nothing wrong with marrying in private and having a public wedding with friends and family. According to ms. Post of the Emily post institute the key is to word the invitation to say its a wedding celebration and not marriage. People on this thread don't seem to understand there IS a difference between a marriage and wedding. Lastly, it's pretty funny that !regulars' are hating on 'trolls'. Who would pride thusly on being a yearly regular on a snarky bride forum? Isn't the point to be a newbie, get the advice, have the wedding and MOVE ON???
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  • perdonamiperdonami member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    Okay, so believe it or not I have successfully read through this entire thread and it left me feeling like I am also having a PPD. Not because I am not both becoming legally married the same day of my handfasting ceremony, but because I will be wearing an expensive white dress only for one day, having bridesmaids, flowers, an exceptionally elaborate cake and croquembouche, etc

    There will be a first dance and cake cutting... perhaps a bridal toss (still on the fence with that one) and I have a registry. I may receive gifts as a result of my PPD. How is my frilly day any different than any other frilly wedding? Aren't we all just prancing about like pretty little princesses as we are lavished with attention? 

    Sure, I am doing the best I can to graciously host my guests as it is my intention to ensure that no one need to open their wallet for anything, everyone will be seated properly and nowhere near any speakers, and there will be enough food and drink for each and every guest.

    But still, how is this also not a PPD? All the attention on us, in my poofy dress and expensive jewelry, prancing around.. Its starting to make me feel a little silly after reading everyone's comments against PPD's and how they were described. How are all of us brides with formal wedding ceremonies with an elaborate reception following are any less of an attention whore?

    Not to offend anyone, please be kind in your responses, but this thread got me really looking at my own wedding day which according to this thread, is not a PPD but after reading some of the descriptions provided by others, it sure feels like one.
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  • LonelillyLonelilly member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    edited May 2014
    perdonami said:

    Okay, so believe it or not I have successfully read through this entire thread and it left me feeling like I am also having a PPD. Not because I am not both becoming legally married the same day of my handfasting ceremony, but because I will be wearing an expensive white dress only for one day, having bridesmaids, flowers, an exceptionally elaborate cake and croquembouche, etc


    There will be a first dance and cake cutting... perhaps a bridal toss (still on the fence with that one) and I have a registry. I may receive gifts as a result of my PPD. How is my frilly day any different than any other frilly wedding? Aren't we all just prancing about like pretty little princesses as we are lavished with attention? 

    Sure, I am doing the best I can to graciously host my guests as it is my intention to ensure that no one need to open their wallet for anything, everyone will be seated properly and nowhere near any speakers, and there will be enough food and drink for each and every guest.

    But still, how is this also not a PPD? All the attention on us, in my poofy dress and expensive jewelry, prancing around.. Its starting to make me feel a little silly after reading everyone's comments against PPD's and how they were described. How are all of us brides with formal wedding ceremonies with an elaborate reception following are any less of an attention whore?

    Not to offend anyone, please be kind in your responses, but this thread got me really looking at my own wedding day which according to this thread, is not a PPD but after reading some of the descriptions provided by others, it sure feels like one.
    It's true, why do any of us include all the frills in the first place?
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  • perdonamiperdonami member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    I guess its okay to have a special day to celebrate your love, just as long as it is done respectfully toward your guests who have come to support your special day. 

    Properly host them, be honest, and ensure that the celebration is appropriate.


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