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What do you do if you hate the engagement ring?

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Re: What do you do if you hate the engagement ring?

  • amelishaamelisha Canadian Texas member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    edited March 2015

    amelisha said:

    The reason I originally used the word "materialistic" has nothing to do with the cash value of the jewelry.


    It's just...I would never hurt my FI's feelings over a thing of any kind. It's not worth it to me. Regardless of whether I wanted a less expensive or a more expensive or a different metal or a different style or whatever...it's just a hunk of metal at the end of the day and it's not worth making him feel bad over, to me personally.

    I would rather wear something I didn't like every single day for the rest of my life than make him feel bad, like he did a bad job of something considered as major as an engagement ring. It's just not worth it for me.

    This is just for me personally, but this why I feel like it's somewhat materialistic to want something different (even if it's cheaper.) But, again...that's just me, and I have this whole thing about accepting things into my life with a certain attitude whether that be actual things or intangible ones.

    Sorry. I don't mean to offend anyone, honestly, but I don't regret using that word when I used it and I still do think a lot of these responses seem more concerned with the horror of having to wear "ugly" jewelry than I would have anticipated from a normally very reasonable group of women.

    Said the bridesmaid when talking about the SS bridezilla who told her to buy matching shoes and given a robe and jewelry to wear on the wedding day for her gift...

    Seriously, I'm not willing to marry someone I have to walk around on fucking eggshells with for the rest of my life. God forbid I ever hurt his feelings by telling him how I feel - only a selfish asshole would want their spouse to only be concerned about their feelings and suck it up for the rest of their life. Pride is just as ugly as entitlement.
    Yep, and if any of my friends ever asks me to be a bridesmaid again and turns into a bridezilla I will put on the dress and the robe and smile and never say a damn thing. Not really relevant.

    Not about eggshells, not about pride, not about sucking it up. Just about how I prefer, in my own life, to be gentle with people I love. And that includes, for me, never hurting anyone's feelings unless it's absolutely necessary, which I don't think is the case over a ring, even one I wear every day. It's not to my own detriment...I am happier too, when I treat people carefully and try my best to make them happy.

    But then, I also bought a wedding dress that FI and my mom would like, prioritizing their happiness. I don't hate it but it doesn't do much for me. I'm wearing jewelry for my wedding that my dad picked out even though I don't really like it. Because it's just stuff and I just don't really care, but they do. Call it passive if you like but I try to see it as freeing. I'm trying to let "stuff" go in my life.

    So...yeah. This is obviously just how things are for ME. But it is how it is for me, so I can't help but see it this situation through that lens.

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    ashley8918
  • VulgarGirlVulgarGirl Desert Oasis member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Ya know I like testicles for balls. Tells you just what htey are and kind of sounds a little like something you shouldn't touch.
    doeydo[Deleted User]
  • ashley8918ashley8918 Chicago Suburbs member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    edited March 2015

    I'm partial to frank n beans or twig n berries if talking about the whole package (heh). Just the balls I tend to defer to niblets.

    I really like ballbag, for some reason.

    "Get your sweaty ballbag away from me."
    theycallmelinzlittlepepthemuffinman16KatieinBkln
  • JennyColadaJennyColada Awesometown, CA member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    Swizzle Stick and gumdrops.
    ashley8918themuffinman16[Deleted User]
  • ashley8918ashley8918 Chicago Suburbs member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer

    MagicInk said:

    Favorite nickname for balls. GO!

    Can we do vag nicknames? I'm better at that game.
    Sure! All the fun bits!
    Pikachu, juicebox, breakfast of champions, lady garden, cookie
    VulgarGirllittlepepKatieinBkln
  • VulgarGirlVulgarGirl Desert Oasis member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Cherry pie, biscuit, honey pot, coother, coochie, meat curtains, conch, punani...
    KatieinBkln
  • Ladies: Downstairs, peekaboo, twat, golden gates (if blond), socket, fun field, squish basket

    Gentlemen: One eyed monster, torpedo, willy, flobber knocker

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    themuffinman16KatieinBkln
  • theycallmelinztheycallmelinz Georgia member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited March 2015

    Someone please PM me about the peroxide thing. I must know its relation to this.

    And where TF is the OP?! I must see this ring!! Did she (or he) post and ditch?

    I too think balls are disgusting. Bleh. I don't even have a name for them besides balls.

    Anniversary



    emmaaachibiyuisarawifenowsassyfrass2014
  • We could also go a little 80's with: the dark forest or bush landing.. there's also carport, pink cave of wonder, and downstairs splash zone.

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  • ashley8918ashley8918 Chicago Suburbs member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    Kahlyla said:

    Hooha, vajayjay, disco biscuit...

    I'm partial to porksword for the men. Thanks, Juno!

    DEAD. I fucking love this omg.
  • emmaaaemmaaa North Carolina mod
    Moderator 2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary

    Someone please PM me about the peroxide thing. I must know its relation to this.

    And where TF is the OP?! I must see this ring!! Did she (or he) post and ditch?

    I too think balls are disgusting. Bleh. I don't even have a name for them besides balls.

    I also don't get the peroxide thing. I keep trying to see if it's a pun but my brain is coming up with nothing. I has the dumbs.
    I don't get it either...

    JaniV123sassyfrass2014
  • jenna8984jenna8984 clam bakes & patriots member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer

    Someone please PM me about the peroxide thing. I must know its relation to this.

    And where TF is the OP?! I must see this ring!! Did she (or he) post and ditch?

    I too think balls are disgusting. Bleh. I don't even have a name for them besides balls.

    And then let me know. K thanks. 
    And while we're talking about names, my favorite for cum is man jam

                                                                     

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    themuffinman16madamerwinsassyfrass2014
  • The peroxide thing isn't from TK. Don't stress over it. It's not anything you can figure out from here.

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    ashley8918VulgarGirlemmaaa
  • hellosweetie1015hellosweetie1015 Where the skies are so blue member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    I had a long post about valuing sentimental items but I'm sick of feeling like I'm arguing with y'all (even though it was, mostly, just lively discussion). Y'all are friends to me, and I don't like to argue with friends.

    Instead, I'm'a jump in on the gonad nicknames. I'm rather fond of Pikachu, myself. As for the gentlemen's side of the equation, I like huevos and family jewels. And gearshift. I ... like to pretend I'm driving a stick shift sometimes, since it's a (weird-ass) dream of mine. <.< >.>
    Daisypath Wedding tickers
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    [Deleted User]
  • YogaSandyYogaSandy member
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited March 2015
    Haven't read all the replies yet. Not really sure what I would do. I would most definitely not expect a new one. If it is of poor quality (which based on the description, kinda sounds like it might be), I would state that to FI and want to get the quality fixed - by taking it to a jeweler and having it fixed the way he originally planned for it to look. I would probably not tell him I hate it, but more so that it definitely wasn't something I would have picked, but love that he put so much thought into and all the sentimental things in it. I would keep it and wear it. The fact that he spent the time and thought on it, and it was the symbol and gift he cost to give me, would make it mean so much. I might not always wear it. Sometimes now I just wear my wedding band, be cause I like how that looks, even though I love my engagement ring. Sometimes I wear neither (very rarely - usually just if I forgot to put them back on, when I was pregnant, running in races, or prolonged heat and humidity, crazy dry skin).

    I had a friend who complained to her fiance that her ring wasn't big enough while they were both university students. Anyway, they eventually broke up (don't think it was particularly because of her complaining about the ring - and he never bought her a bigger one). I didn't like that she did that. They were both individually good friends of mine. Then I told this to a girl I worked with. She told me her and her fiance went halfers on her engagement ring because their marriage was a union. When DH and I were talking about getting married, I liked the idea of splitting the ring cost and wanted him to know I would never be like my first friend. Then I was like no, we're not splitting the ring cost. It's a union, we're equals, why should I be the only one to get jewelry simply because I'm a woman. So, DH bought my engagement ring. I bought him a very fancy Movado watch. His friends thought I was awesome (which I am, but that's not why I did it).

    ETA: I would never flat out tell DH my ring wasn't my style or I didn't care for the way it looked (is that was the case). I wouldn't lie to him if he asked me BUT if he asked if I like the ring, I would say yes. That wouldn't be a lie. I would love the symbolism, the thought. The sentimentality, etc that the ring stood for. If he flat out asked specifically if I liked the way it looked, I would say no (probably). That doesn't make me wishy washy, or skirting the issue. You can love something but still not find it aesthetically pleasing.
    ashley8918
  • littlepeplittlepep South Carolina member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer

    MagicInk said:

    Favorite nickname for balls. GO!

    Can we do vag nicknames? I'm better at that game.
    Sure! All the fun bits!
    Pikachu, juicebox, breakfast of champions, lady garden, cookie
    One time we did one of those pole dancing classes for a bachelorette and the girl told us to protect our cookies on the pole. I'm a big fan of that termonolgy. 
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    ashley8918
  • OP, I'm dying of curiosity. Does it look like one of these? 

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    It looks really close to that second one with the pinks stones, except that the band is melt-ier.  It's really hard to describe.  I feel funny asking if I can take a picture of it because I know she feels embarrassed.

    luckya23sassyfrass2014
  • plainjane0415plainjane0415 The hills of Tennessee member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    I came back to this thread, saw the notifications where people were mentioning me, and I was like, oh, shit... But then, there were no mentions?! What's going on TK???

    Anyway, to add to the current discussion...
    Man parts:  Willy, I have no idea why.. It just sticks..
    Lady Parts:  Muffin, lady bits......


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  • chibiyuichibiyui The Boring Part of MD member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    Nymeru said:

    OP, I'm dying of curiosity. Does it look like one of these? 

    image
    image

    image

    image

    image
    image

    It looks really close to that second one with the pinks stones, except that the band is melt-ier.  It's really hard to describe.  I feel funny asking if I can take a picture of it because I know she feels embarrassed.

    Melty like the third ring or melt like the last ring?

    And, you've seen it. Is it just "ugly" or legitimately not well made?
    image



    Anniversary
  • chibiyui said:

    Nymeru said:

    OP, I'm dying of curiosity. Does it look like one of these? 

    image
    image

    image

    image

    image
    image

    It looks really close to that second one with the pinks stones, except that the band is melt-ier.  It's really hard to describe.  I feel funny asking if I can take a picture of it because I know she feels embarrassed.

    Melty like the third ring or melt like the last ring?

    And, you've seen it. Is it just "ugly" or legitimately not well made?
    Neither one really fits, but I guess it looks a little more like the third one in that it's a little lumpy.  It's definitely ugly, but I'd personally take it to a jeweler to be looked at.  It just doesn't look right somehow. 
  • Sugargirl1019Sugargirl1019 Deep in the Heart of Texas member
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Nymeru said:

    OP, I'm dying of curiosity. Does it look like one of these? 

    image
    image

    image

    image

    image
    image

    It looks really close to that second one with the pinks stones, except that the band is melt-ier.  It's really hard to describe.  I feel funny asking if I can take a picture of it because I know she feels embarrassed.

    I really wish it wasn't so awkward to ask for a picture, because now the whole internet is dying to see..

    image   image   image

    OliveOilsMomthemuffinman16PrettyGirlLost
  • MagicInk said:

    On one hand I agree with Larry. Plus, once you get married, just wear just the wedding band. Pleanty of people do. My step-mom stopped wearing her engagement ring after the first year because she kept worrying she was going to hurt it, she just wears her wedding band daily now.


    On other hand, lying to your future spouse is not the best plan in the world.

    When I purposed to Wifey I was flat fucking broke. So was she. I bought us a pair of matching claddagh rings at the renaissance fair. There is no bling on these rings. These rings are blingless. I would've been hurt if when I purposed to Wifey she asked why no bling. I have offered since to upgrade her ring to some bling. She very kindly said "Fuck you if you think you're touching my motherfucking ring"...so that's a no then? 

    I have since bought her other jewelry with some more bling to it. She loves emeralds (my birth stone) and I bought her a lovely emerald ring with diamonds on the sides for her birthday one year. She loves it and wears it on her right hand. Girlfriend likes the bling. Hell so do I. But our engagement rings, which are now our wedding bands, are something different. They're plain. But still special. 
    I just read this whole thread. Had to come back & find this comment b/c it stuck with me - y'all two are so fucking awesome & I thought this comment was adorable.

    Fast forward to end of thread, throwing my 2 euphemisms into the hat: Bearded clam (old school, "beards" may be more trimmed these days) and for the man: blue-veined diamond cutter (at least that's what I call FI's).

    Re: H2O2 - is it b/c it's antibacterial? I give up.
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