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Bar related question

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Re: Bar related question

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    lyndausvilyndausvi mod
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    flbride2015 said:

    esstee33 said:

    It's cracking me the fuck up that people are talking about vegetarian cooking like it's some great mystery. 


    IT'S JUST FUCKING VEGETABLES, PEOPLE. It's not any goddamn harder than cooking things with meat in them. JUST DON'T PUT MEAT IN THEM. Jesus fucking Christ. Can your friends not read recipes? Do they not know what does and does not include meat? It's not that complicated. 
    --------------BOXES----------------

    Amen! That's what I'm saying! Is it really that freaking hard to cook something vegetarian friendly that vegetarians need to bring their own food to make it easier? Fuck.

    I will say it for the millionth time, bringing the host or hostess a gift is cool. I always do, I don't show up empty handed. Organized or impromptu potlucks are fine. Asking the host or hostess if need help help in the kitchen is cool when you arrive (which I always refuse because I hate having people in my kitchen). Helping to clean up after, also ok.

    But I don't think my friends are so incapable of hosting me to an event they invited me to that I feel the need "help" by bringing my own food or drink. And I wouldn't appreciate it if my friends felt the need to "help" in that manner either. If I didn't have the time, money, or ability to host people properly I wouldn't invite them over. So yeah, if you offer to "help" me by bringing your own food because you're vegetarian, vegan, paleo, etc; I'm going to assume you think so little of me that you think I'm not capable of inviting you over and hosting you properly. And I probably won't invite you over again because obviously, you don't consider what I have to offer good enough or adequate. Especially if you showed up with something after I told you not to.

    A bottle of wine or some beer you know I like? Cool. Those donuts I'm obsessed with as a dessert? Also cool. All are gifts for the host. You bring the vodka you drink? Or the food you like to eat to my house? That to me means you don't expect me to have anything you would like to drink or eat, AKA you believe I can't host you properly. Not cool.
    this, this, this.

    We just got back from a friend's house.  You see DH borrowed a pressure washer for work and we were returning it.  They invited us inside for a drink. I had wine, DH had vodka.  Happen to be his favorite brand.    It was nice to be welcomed even thought it was last minute and unplanned.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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    Cookie PusherCookie Pusher member
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    I leave to go meet up with some Knotties and come home to 3 more pages of posts? Seriously? Damn having to drive home because I should have had some shots before reading through this bullshit.
    ~*~*~*~*~

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    hellosweetie1015hellosweetie1015 member
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    LondonLisa said:

    Talking to you about alcohol is like talking to a vegan who does cross fit about a double cheeseburger with bacon. Why you feel it is your 'role' to confront them about behaviour and choices that have no effect on you. Yes they get drunk and out of hand, but just leave. If they try to talk to you stupid drunk, walk away. You are literally doing the opposite of going with the flow. It sounds like you are saving up all this pent up rage to explode at them after the wedding, and are really getting off on giving them a piece of your mind. That's messed up. Their behaviour has no effect on you. You are making this into the Battle of Hogwarts between good and evil and, Neville you are not.

    I spent a good part of my life in Ireland, where there is a heavy drinking culture. Yes people got drunk but who cares, as long as they didn't drive, it was fine.

    You are not queen of the world, you don't get to dictate other's behaviours. You coming round their house to air your grievances is going to change absolutely nothing other than driving a massive wedge between your Fi and his family. That's messed up. He should be the one to manage his family, not you. If he wanted to confront them about it, he would have. It's not your job, Lady Macbeth!

    Your lecture to them on drinking will be as welcome as a fart in a space suit and I can tell you it probably will backfire spectacularly into complete omnishambles.

    That was the best thing I've read in this whole entire thread.
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    PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
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    I suspect her issues with her FILs go beyond just their drinking habits.

    I have no idea what those issues are, but they can't be Defcon 1 level if her FI hasn't already cut them out of his life completely already and is involving them in his wedding.

    And i have no idea how they things know they are going to handle his family a days why they need to be married to start conversation fronting them.

    Which won't do a damned thing anyways. They aren't going to changed just bc their son got married and now all of a sudden his wife is conflicting directly with them.

    Good luck to this couple.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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    lightningsnowlightningsnow member
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    PrettyGirlLost said:

    I suspect her issues with her FILs go beyond just their drinking habits.

    I have no idea what those issues are, but they can't be Defcon 1 level if her FI hasn't already cut them out of his life completely already and is involving them in his wedding.

    And i have no idea how they things know they are going to handle his family a days why they need to be married to start conversation fronting them.

    Which won't do a damned thing anyways. They aren't going to changed just bc their son got married and now all of a sudden his wife is conflicting directly with them.

    Good luck to this couple.

    And also, @notdoingitbythebook I have seen first hand what happens when the wife of a family members son acts as you do. BF's SIL has done so on numerous occasions. When visiting his dying father in the hospital, SIL turned to his mother and told her she trained her son like a dog. Can you imagine how well that went over? It didn't go over very well.

    They have a son and his mother never gets to see him unless they either need to pick something up from her house or drop off clothes for her to wash because SIL can't be bothered to learn how to hand wash clothing. His mother would love to visit her grandchild except she can't drive. BF brings her everywhere. But that's not pertaining to this.

    Just wanted to give you some perspective from experience.
    Formerly known as bubbles053009





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    notdoingitbythebooknotdoingitbythebook member
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    edited May 2015
    The fears for our relationship are unfounded and quite frankly laughable, because it's blantantly obvious how your speculation if the demise of our relationship is so off base. But as per etiquette standards, thank you for your concern.
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    sarawifenowsarawifenow member
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     imageimageimage

    image

     

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    drunkenwitchdrunkenwitch member
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    edited May 2015
    notdoingitbythebook said:

    cupcait927 said:

     

    sarawifenow said:

    I admit I am still reading through this, but I have to stop and say that @notdoingthisbythebook it seems like you don't really like your friends and/or wedding guests. So far I have seen you call them morons, admit to micromanaging their behavior, and allude to the fact that you don't think that grown adults can handle themselves at a wedding. So I wonder, why didn't you just elope?


    I'm wondering the same. I'm also wondering why you didn't stand up for yourself more in regards to the bar at your wedding. I know you said that your FI and your "stupid inlaws" wanted it but it's your wedding as well. I just think that you should've fought harder for a better compromise because you seem pretty darn miserable about the whole thing.
    Why? Because it's not all about me. Because I'm in the minority on this subject. Because I was tired of fighting. Because my FH agreed to put some limitations on the bar to achieve some kind of compromise. Because the open bar is a part of the venue package. Because I'd already chosen two hills to die on and I was tired of fighting. But mostly because I know am in the minority about this. Honestly, this hostility is pretty much on par with what everything thinks about booze and I think that sucks. But it's not enough to change my mind on it. So I stopped fighing and let my FH have something he wanted at the wedding even if it really bothers me. There are other hills to die on.
    why in the bloody blue blazes are you marrying someone you are constantly fighting with? Fuck it I give up is not the way to start a marriage.

    And your posts are more entertaining than a diva having an on stage meltdown in the middle of opening night. This is fun.

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    notdoingitbythebooknotdoingitbythebook member
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    edited May 2015
    drunkenwitch said:

    notdoingitbythebook said:

    cupcait927 said:

     

    sarawifenow said:

    I admit I am still reading through this, but I have to stop and say that @notdoingthisbythebook it seems like you don't really like your friends and/or wedding guests. So far I have seen you call them morons, admit to micromanaging their behavior, and allude to the fact that you don't think that grown adults can handle themselves at a wedding. So I wonder, why didn't you just elope?


    I'm wondering the same. I'm also wondering why you didn't stand up for yourself more in regards to the bar at your wedding. I know you said that your FI and your "stupid inlaws" wanted it but it's your wedding as well. I just think that you should've fought harder for a better compromise because you seem pretty darn miserable about the whole thing.
    Why? Because it's not all about me. Because I'm in the minority on this subject. Because I was tired of fighting. Because my FH agreed to put some limitations on the bar to achieve some kind of compromise. Because the open bar is a part of the venue package. Because I'd already chosen two hills to die on and I was tired of fighting. But mostly because I know am in the minority about this. Honestly, this hostility is pretty much on par with what everything thinks about booze and I think that sucks. But it's not enough to change my mind on it. So I stopped fighing and let my FH have something he wanted at the wedding even if it really bothers me. There are other hills to die on.
    why in the bloody blue blazes are you marrying someone you are constantly fighting with? Fuck it I give up is not the way to start a marriage.

    And your posts are more entertaining than a diva having an on stage meltdown in the middle of opening night. This is fun.



    Despite the miscategorization of me and the relationship I have with my FH, I am glad that you are amused.

     

    In turn, I find the false concern and constant misunderstanding amusing. It makes the time go by in an otherwise boring time of day.

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    sarawifenowsarawifenow member
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    notdoingitbythebook said:

    drunkenwitch said:

    notdoingitbythebook said:

    cupcait927 said:

     

    sarawifenow said:

    I admit I am still reading through this, but I have to stop and say that @notdoingthisbythebook it seems like you don't really like your friends and/or wedding guests. So far I have seen you call them morons, admit to micromanaging their behavior, and allude to the fact that you don't think that grown adults can handle themselves at a wedding. So I wonder, why didn't you just elope?


    I'm wondering the same. I'm also wondering why you didn't stand up for yourself more in regards to the bar at your wedding. I know you said that your FI and your "stupid inlaws" wanted it but it's your wedding as well. I just think that you should've fought harder for a better compromise because you seem pretty darn miserable about the whole thing.
    Why? Because it's not all about me. Because I'm in the minority on this subject. Because I was tired of fighting. Because my FH agreed to put some limitations on the bar to achieve some kind of compromise. Because the open bar is a part of the venue package. Because I'd already chosen two hills to die on and I was tired of fighting. But mostly because I know am in the minority about this. Honestly, this hostility is pretty much on par with what everything thinks about booze and I think that sucks. But it's not enough to change my mind on it. So I stopped fighing and let my FH have something he wanted at the wedding even if it really bothers me. There are other hills to die on.
    why in the bloody blue blazes are you marrying someone you are constantly fighting with? Fuck it I give up is not the way to start a marriage.

    And your posts are more entertaining than a diva having an on stage meltdown in the middle of opening night. This is fun.



    Despite the miscategorization of me and the relationship I have with my FH, I am glad that you are amused.

     

    In turn, I find the false concern and constant misunderstanding amusing. It makes the time go by in an otherwise boring time of day.



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    PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
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    notdoingitbythebook said:

    drunkenwitch said:

    notdoingitbythebook said:

    cupcait927 said:

     

    sarawifenow said:

    I admit I am still reading through this, but I have to stop and say that @notdoingthisbythebook it seems like you don't really like your friends and/or wedding guests. So far I have seen you call them morons, admit to micromanaging their behavior, and allude to the fact that you don't think that grown adults can handle themselves at a wedding. So I wonder, why didn't you just elope?


    I'm wondering the same. I'm also wondering why you didn't stand up for yourself more in regards to the bar at your wedding. I know you said that your FI and your "stupid inlaws" wanted it but it's your wedding as well. I just think that you should've fought harder for a better compromise because you seem pretty darn miserable about the whole thing.
    Why? Because it's not all about me. Because I'm in the minority on this subject. Because I was tired of fighting. Because my FH agreed to put some limitations on the bar to achieve some kind of compromise. Because the open bar is a part of the venue package. Because I'd already chosen two hills to die on and I was tired of fighting. But mostly because I know am in the minority about this. Honestly, this hostility is pretty much on par with what everything thinks about booze and I think that sucks. But it's not enough to change my mind on it. So I stopped fighing and let my FH have something he wanted at the wedding even if it really bothers me. There are other hills to die on.
    why in the bloody blue blazes are you marrying someone you are constantly fighting with? Fuck it I give up is not the way to start a marriage.

    And your posts are more entertaining than a diva having an on stage meltdown in the middle of opening night. This is fun.



    Despite the miscategorization of me and the relationship I have with my FH, I am glad that you are amused.

     

    In turn, I find the false concern and constant misunderstanding amusing. It makes the time go by in an otherwise boring time of day.

    Then care to explain what the deal is with your FILs that they have to be "handled" after you and your FI are married?  What exactly are you and your FI going to do to "handle" his family?  Why do you both think waiting until you are married is going to make his family more receptive to being "handled"?

    I just don't understand any of this logic.

    We can only go by the information you tell us, and so far all that has been is that you think your FILs drink too much, really you think anyone who drinks more than a drink or two over the course of a single evening is drinking to excess, you are resentful of the fact that you compromised with your FI to have an open bar, and that once you are married you are somehow going to change how you act towards his family because they are so awful and need to be dealt with, and your FI is ok with that.

    You are the one miscategorizing what ppl have said. . . no one said they feared for the demise of your relationship.  No one thinks you all of a sudden deciding to confront his family out of the blue once married is going to work, though.

    But good luck with that!  I'm sure they will see the error of their ways and apologize and stop acting up!



    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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    notdoingitbythebooknotdoingitbythebook member
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    PrettyGirlLost said:

    notdoingitbythebook said:

    drunkenwitch said:

    notdoingitbythebook said:

    cupcait927 said:

     

    sarawifenow said:

    I admit I am still reading through this, but I have to stop and say that @notdoingthisbythebook it seems like you don't really like your friends and/or wedding guests. So far I have seen you call them morons, admit to micromanaging their behavior, and allude to the fact that you don't think that grown adults can handle themselves at a wedding. So I wonder, why didn't you just elope?


    I'm wondering the same. I'm also wondering why you didn't stand up for yourself more in regards to the bar at your wedding. I know you said that your FI and your "stupid inlaws" wanted it but it's your wedding as well. I just think that you should've fought harder for a better compromise because you seem pretty darn miserable about the whole thing.
    Why? Because it's not all about me. Because I'm in the minority on this subject. Because I was tired of fighting. Because my FH agreed to put some limitations on the bar to achieve some kind of compromise. Because the open bar is a part of the venue package. Because I'd already chosen two hills to die on and I was tired of fighting. But mostly because I know am in the minority about this. Honestly, this hostility is pretty much on par with what everything thinks about booze and I think that sucks. But it's not enough to change my mind on it. So I stopped fighing and let my FH have something he wanted at the wedding even if it really bothers me. There are other hills to die on.
    why in the bloody blue blazes are you marrying someone you are constantly fighting with? Fuck it I give up is not the way to start a marriage.

    And your posts are more entertaining than a diva having an on stage meltdown in the middle of opening night. This is fun.



    Despite the miscategorization of me and the relationship I have with my FH, I am glad that you are amused.

     

    In turn, I find the false concern and constant misunderstanding amusing. It makes the time go by in an otherwise boring time of day.

    Then care to explain what the deal is with your FILs that they have to be "handled" after you and your FI are married?  What exactly are you and your FI going to do to "handle" his family?  Why do you both think waiting until you are married is going to make his family more receptive to being "handled"?

    I just don't understand any of this logic.

    We can only go by the information you tell us, and so far all that has been is that you think your FILs drink too much, really you think anyone who drinks more than a drink or two over the course of a single evening is drinking to excess, you are resentful of the fact that you compromised with your FI to have an open bar, and that once you are married you are somehow going to change how you act towards his family because they are so awful and need to be dealt with, and your FI is ok with that.

    You are the one miscategorizing what ppl have said. . . no one said they feared for the demise of your relationship.  No one thinks you all of a sudden deciding to confront his family out of the blue once married is going to work, though.

    But good luck with that!  I'm sure they will see the error of their ways and apologize and stop acting up!





    No, actually I do not care to. I do not feel that this is the place to say anything as it will be immediately misconstrued. I made the mistake of saying anything at all. Quite frankly, I reserve discussing this kind of thing with the small group of people that I trust, of which this board is not part of that. Yesterday I was riled up, today I frankly just do not care.

    It also seems like you are prying for information as a gossip rather than being actually itnerested in either understanding where I am coming from or who I am. If I am not correct in that assumption, I apologize.

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    fyrchkfyrchk member
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    edited May 2015

    Suddenly a cash bar isn't looking so tacky, eh? I will PAY FOR EVERYONE'S DRINKS IF THIS CAN JUST STOP!!!

    STOP THE MADNESS!

    ETA: I got schooled in the sarcasm font! Thanks @thespeshulestsnowflake!

     

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    sarawifenowsarawifenow member
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    notdoingitbythebook said:

    PrettyGirlLost said:

    notdoingitbythebook said:

    drunkenwitch said:

    notdoingitbythebook said:

    cupcait927 said:

     

    sarawifenow said:

    I admit I am still reading through this, but I have to stop and say that @notdoingthisbythebook it seems like you don't really like your friends and/or wedding guests. So far I have seen you call them morons, admit to micromanaging their behavior, and allude to the fact that you don't think that grown adults can handle themselves at a wedding. So I wonder, why didn't you just elope?


    I'm wondering the same. I'm also wondering why you didn't stand up for yourself more in regards to the bar at your wedding. I know you said that your FI and your "stupid inlaws" wanted it but it's your wedding as well. I just think that you should've fought harder for a better compromise because you seem pretty darn miserable about the whole thing.
    Why? Because it's not all about me. Because I'm in the minority on this subject. Because I was tired of fighting. Because my FH agreed to put some limitations on the bar to achieve some kind of compromise. Because the open bar is a part of the venue package. Because I'd already chosen two hills to die on and I was tired of fighting. But mostly because I know am in the minority about this. Honestly, this hostility is pretty much on par with what everything thinks about booze and I think that sucks. But it's not enough to change my mind on it. So I stopped fighing and let my FH have something he wanted at the wedding even if it really bothers me. There are other hills to die on.
    why in the bloody blue blazes are you marrying someone you are constantly fighting with? Fuck it I give up is not the way to start a marriage.

    And your posts are more entertaining than a diva having an on stage meltdown in the middle of opening night. This is fun.



    Despite the miscategorization of me and the relationship I have with my FH, I am glad that you are amused.

     

    In turn, I find the false concern and constant misunderstanding amusing. It makes the time go by in an otherwise boring time of day.

    Then care to explain what the deal is with your FILs that they have to be "handled" after you and your FI are married?  What exactly are you and your FI going to do to "handle" his family?  Why do you both think waiting until you are married is going to make his family more receptive to being "handled"?

    I just don't understand any of this logic.

    We can only go by the information you tell us, and so far all that has been is that you think your FILs drink too much, really you think anyone who drinks more than a drink or two over the course of a single evening is drinking to excess, you are resentful of the fact that you compromised with your FI to have an open bar, and that once you are married you are somehow going to change how you act towards his family because they are so awful and need to be dealt with, and your FI is ok with that.

    You are the one miscategorizing what ppl have said. . . no one said they feared for the demise of your relationship.  No one thinks you all of a sudden deciding to confront his family out of the blue once married is going to work, though.

    But good luck with that!  I'm sure they will see the error of their ways and apologize and stop acting up!





    No, actually I do not care to. I do not feel that this is the place to say anything as it will be immediately misconstrued. I made the mistake of saying anything at all. Quite frankly, I reserve discussing this kind of thing with the small group of people that I trust, of which this board is not part of that. Yesterday I was riled up, today I frankly just do not care.

    It also seems like you are prying for information as a gossip rather than being actually itnerested in either understanding where I am coming from or who I am. If I am not correct in that assumption, I apologize.



    image

    To the bolded, kind of like you do with your friends when they drink? Watching them like a hawk (your words) when they drink and then deciding when they have had enough for them?

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    sarawifenowsarawifenow member
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    fyrchk said:

    Suddenly a cash bar isn't looking so tacky, eh? I will PAY FOR EVERYONE'S DRINKS IF THIS CAN JUST STOP!!!

    STOP THE MADNESS!

    Um, no. Cash bars are still tacky as fuck.
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    fyrchkfyrchk member
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    @sarawifenow There's no sarcasm font...sorry.

    Hey, I'm in Denver too!

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    sarawifenowsarawifenow member
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    @fyrchk Oh gotcha! Haha.

    Denver is the best!image

     

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    sarawifenowsarawifenow member
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    thespeshulestsnowflake said:

    fyrchk said:

    @sarawifenow There's no sarcasm font...sorry.

    Hey, I'm in Denver too!

    The official Knottie sarcasm font is Comic Sans MS in pink/purple. :)
    @thespeshulestsnowflake WTF are you talking about? This is my font of choice EVERYDAY!!!
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    PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
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    notdoingitbythebook said:

    PrettyGirlLost said:

    notdoingitbythebook said:

    drunkenwitch said:

    notdoingitbythebook said:

    cupcait927 said:

     

    sarawifenow said:

    I admit I am still reading through this, but I have to stop and say that @notdoingthisbythebook it seems like you don't really like your friends and/or wedding guests. So far I have seen you call them morons, admit to micromanaging their behavior, and allude to the fact that you don't think that grown adults can handle themselves at a wedding. So I wonder, why didn't you just elope?


    I'm wondering the same. I'm also wondering why you didn't stand up for yourself more in regards to the bar at your wedding. I know you said that your FI and your "stupid inlaws" wanted it but it's your wedding as well. I just think that you should've fought harder for a better compromise because you seem pretty darn miserable about the whole thing.
    Why? Because it's not all about me. Because I'm in the minority on this subject. Because I was tired of fighting. Because my FH agreed to put some limitations on the bar to achieve some kind of compromise. Because the open bar is a part of the venue package. Because I'd already chosen two hills to die on and I was tired of fighting. But mostly because I know am in the minority about this. Honestly, this hostility is pretty much on par with what everything thinks about booze and I think that sucks. But it's not enough to change my mind on it. So I stopped fighing and let my FH have something he wanted at the wedding even if it really bothers me. There are other hills to die on.
    why in the bloody blue blazes are you marrying someone you are constantly fighting with? Fuck it I give up is not the way to start a marriage.

    And your posts are more entertaining than a diva having an on stage meltdown in the middle of opening night. This is fun.



    Despite the miscategorization of me and the relationship I have with my FH, I am glad that you are amused.

     

    In turn, I find the false concern and constant misunderstanding amusing. It makes the time go by in an otherwise boring time of day.

    Then care to explain what the deal is with your FILs that they have to be "handled" after you and your FI are married?  What exactly are you and your FI going to do to "handle" his family?  Why do you both think waiting until you are married is going to make his family more receptive to being "handled"?

    I just don't understand any of this logic.

    We can only go by the information you tell us, and so far all that has been is that you think your FILs drink too much, really you think anyone who drinks more than a drink or two over the course of a single evening is drinking to excess, you are resentful of the fact that you compromised with your FI to have an open bar, and that once you are married you are somehow going to change how you act towards his family because they are so awful and need to be dealt with, and your FI is ok with that.

    You are the one miscategorizing what ppl have said. . . no one said they feared for the demise of your relationship.  No one thinks you all of a sudden deciding to confront his family out of the blue once married is going to work, though.

    But good luck with that!  I'm sure they will see the error of their ways and apologize and stop acting up!





    No, actually I do not care to. I do not feel that this is the place to say anything as it will be immediately misconstrued. I made the mistake of saying anything at all. Quite frankly, I reserve discussing this kind of thing with the small group of people that I trust, of which this board is not part of that. Yesterday I was riled up, today I frankly just do not care.

    It also seems like you are prying for information as a gossip rather than being actually itnerested in either understanding where I am coming from or who I am. If I am not correct in that assumption, I apologize.

    Yep, you are 100% incorrect.

    I enjoy discussing things with people and trying to help them with issues- be they wedding related or family related.  That's why I participate on these boards.

    And what have you said so far that has been misconstrued?  I said that you seem to have resentment issues based on the language you were using to describe your FILs, other friends/family, and the open bar itself, and after initially claiming no, you did admit that you do resent having to have an open bar.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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    arrrghmateyarrrghmatey member
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    PrettyGirlLost said:

    notdoingitbythebook said:

    notdoingitbythebook said:

    PrettyGirlLost said:

    notdoingitbythebook said:



    Thanks for the unsolicited advice. Welcome to the interwebz.  Until I know you in person, I will not take your opinion under advisement.   Then why are you posting on an internet message board?  You aren't here seeking any kind of wedding planning advice or information from others?  I know that in this particular instance you aren't the OP, but you don't want any wedding related advice?  If you think I'm rage filled, you're wrong. But that's okay. It doesn't bother me.  I do think you have rage issues because of how many times you referred to family and friends as "stupid" "morons" etc. and by how resentful you come across as having to host an open bar due to your FI and your FILs.  And other posters here are picking up on those same things, so I'm not wrong.  But you can think otherwise.


    In this one aspect of the wedding, hellz ya I'm resentful. But I won on other aspects. I'm down with the whole card box thing right now (and even asked advice on something... shocking I know). Alcohol is an extremely touchy issue. But why don't we go talk cake or flowers or something... there not so much. Everyone has their hot points. This is one of them for me. What is it for you?
    Ok good, you admit it!

    Since alcohol is this touchy a subject of you and you are so against it, I wonder why you choose to give in on this issue, instead of standing your ground?  And why wouldn't your FI support you on this?

    What on Earth were the other two hills you refused to die on?



    The location and marrying in the church. Those were much bigger hills to die on. Their attempts to get their way were impressive.

    Why didn't FH support me in a dry wedding? Because he likes to drink socially and he knew it would be a big bone of contention. I gave in as long as he promised some control over it. So far, so good. And it's his wedding to, it's not all about me.

    OK, makes sense.

    But you do realize that it is not your job, or your FI's job to police how much guests drink at your reception, right?  Professional bartenders are already legally bound to handle this.  So just trust them to do their job, and don't try and give them your own set of rules to follow as far as when someone has had too much.  That's not for you to determine, that's for the bartenders.


    Holy fuck, what the hell did I just try to read? But from what I was able to gather, I will offer this….

    To the bolded: you compromised by having alcohol at the wedding. That was your decision, and nobody forced you to make that decision. Deal with it and stop bitching. Stop taking the resentment you are feeling from all of the compromising you are making for your wedding out on your 'stupid FILs and guests,' and the people on this board who have been giving the OP sound, etiquette-approved advice.

    And I agree 100% @PrettyGirlLost--it is not your job, or your FI's job to worry about or control any guests who get out of control. Hopefully you will be in such wedding bliss that you won't notice that Uncle Jay had one shot too many and had to take a cab home.

    You're marrying your best friend. The love of your life. Get over the petty complaints, move on, and focus on what's most important.

    And @notdoingitbythebook: feel free to respond back with a defensive reply. I'm eagerly anticipating it.
                                     Wedding Countdown Ticker

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