Wedding Etiquette Forum

game? you might judge me for this but...?

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Re: game? you might judge me for this but...?

  • [i]I hate it when really beautiful, awesome people (ahem, Salt) have self esteem issues. I understand that everyone does, and I won't go so far to say that I judge, but really. It makes me want to slap them upside the head and scream "What's wrong with you?! Can't you see how awesome you are?!"[/i] I understand this. But, at the same time--I judge people who think that skinny/pretty girls can't have self-esteem issues. It makes it hard to talk to people about--when I try to be honest about how I feel about myself, everyone thinks I'm fishing for compliments. So, I just shut up. And it eats away at me.
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  • Salt, I did a bunch of internet research and found a company called CareOne Credit Counseling. I looked them up on BBB and they had really good reviews and had very few complaints against them and the ones they did have, they took care of promptly.  Talked to a really nice guy at CareOne and I think I should be debt free in about three years.  I definitely made a lot of headway toward taking care of this today and now my only problem is telling FI. 
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    Whatever you hatters be hattin. -Tay Prince
  • I will also ditto all of these previous confessions:- smoking (cigs and pot)- bad self esteem- barely having sex
  • Cupcake, I'm kind of the same way - I look around at the people around me and see that I'm relatively thin next to them, but I'm technically overweight for my height.  Hopefully the jaw-surgery weight loss will stick and get you on the right path.  Beatles - that's it.  I'm going to the gym tonight, no ifs, ands, or buts.  Thanks for the inspiration!Lauren - $6000, in the grand scheme of things, isn't that huge.  Yeah, it's a significant debt that needs to be paid, but it could be much worse.  Good luck on your chat tonight.
  • Lauren - That's who I use. They are FANTASTIC. You did good research. :)
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  • I'm a neat freak. But H is not. So, I've gotten to the point where I don't clean anymore by myself because if he's fine living in a shithole, then I am too (not that our house is really that bad, but you know). But, I've stuck to the rule that we can't have guests unless the house is clean. Which, more often than not, means we don't invite his family over. And I don't feel guilty about that, because H doesn't care enough to help me clean. I judge my cousin's husband, who thinks it's perfectly fine to sit at home all day and smoke weed, drink, and play ps3 while my cousin supports their family. And I judge my cousin for putting up with his shiit when it's causing serious problems in their relationship and in their financial security.I'm looking for new jobs and lying through my teeth at interviews and on cover letters about how long I'll be there. I say indefinitely when I mean "Until I pop out my first kid and then I'm leaving and never coming back." I promised my boss I wouldn't leave until I have kids, and if I did, I'd give at least a month's notice. When I leave, I have every intention of giving her the bare minimum notice, and I plan to throw her under the bus with our CEO.
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  • Yay scarlet! I'm inspired too now. Have fun at your workout, it's going to feel soo good!



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    Taco cat: Always a palindrome. ALWAYS, okay J&K?

    "cool......insult my size 2 body or my natural brown hair...or the fact that my parents own a country club, I have no budget for a wedding, and I have horses. I really dont care. Its better then having roots." ~ futurepivko
  • I can be really passive aggressive. If Bridezillas or RBPB made a show out of me, they would've caught more than a few moments of me telling H, "FINE, then we WON'T have chair covers, we'll just have the UGLY BLACK chairs and our wedding will look TOTALLY STUPID."This made me giggle.  I am totally passive-aggressive too.  I've reminded FI about 12 times this week that he is the one who vetoed the Vegas wedding and that if it wasn't for him we wouldn't have to deal with our current wedding vendor BS.
  • Scarlet, unfortunately I already gained some of it back because I started actually eating.  I guess it means I have to actually start exercising, but I'm working slowly up to it.  Six weeks of just trying to recover has gotten me totally out of shape.  Lame.  Also, I totally cannot tell from your picture that you would be overweight for your height - not at all.Lauren, ditto not worrying too much about the $6,000.  I few years ago, my CC debt was up to $10,000.  I did get a $5,000 gift from my late grandmother, but beyond that, it's been two years and I am completely debt-free in terms of credit cards.  Student loans are a different animal, but I think it's totally doable!  My advice would be to try to reassure your fiance that you have been able to change whatever habit or behavior it was that got you into that situation.  That helped me out when I confessed the debt to my then-boyfriend of several months, and he understood.
  • Me neither, arbolita.  I've had paps before from my general doctor, but not as many as I should.  I hate myself for this.  I'm almost scared to go now just in case my neglect has turned bad.
  • Rach and Salt, that must suck having low self esteem despite being very fit.  At one point in college I weight 128 (5'6") and was just into a size 4, and I also would have thoughts of "ugh! Look at that muffin top!"  Now I'd love to be anywhere near that size.... 
  •  I can be really passive aggressive. If Bridezillas or RBPB made a show out of me, they would've caught more than a few moments of me telling H, "FINE, then we WON'T have chair covers, we'll just have the UGLY BLACK chairs and our wedding will look TOTALLY STUPID." This, exactly. I had to explain to my husband the other night that I am passive aggressive all the time because he didn't see it. I have really put forth some effort lately to reign it in and deal with things more maturely. It's about 50/50 now.
  • I ignore cheerleaders and sports teams trying to raise money for trips out of town.It's not quite the same thing, but I don't care for when the Boy Scouts and their parents stand at intersections right outside your car window.  I like donating to charity, but I don't like having my arm twisted by freckled faced little boys while I'm trying to get somewhere.  Then I feel HORRIBLE because I never have cash on me to donate.  I just put on my sunglasses and roll up my window, which I'm pretty sure makes me look like a giant douche.
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  • I don't wanna start shiiting glitter all over this thread or anything, but I already feel a whole lot better about what's going on with me.  And Salt, thank God.  I was so scared my research wasn't good enough and I was gonna get screwed. So thanks so much ladies. 
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    Whatever you hatters be hattin. -Tay Prince
  • I hate my body. I lost 20 lbs for the wedding and saw a few pics of me on my honeymoon. I made a comment to DH how the ones he posted on FB of me look good, he then showed me the ones that he didnt put online. I'm still fat. I'm bitter that he doesnt reassure me when I complain about being fat. He says that I should use the wii fit if I want to lose weight. Good point, but not what I want to hear.
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  • This afternooon, I have to tell FI that I have $6000 in CC debt.Laurenclaire, you will feel SO much better after coming clean. Good for you for trying to get it together, and for being honest with your FI. GL.Also: I have hated my body ever since I got mono when I was 19. I was really sick for about 6 months and My body has never been the same. I am trying really hard te get my figure back, but like pp have said, I don't think I will ever like the way I look again.
  • I'm a neat freak. But H is not. So, I've gotten to the point where I don't clean anymore by myself because if he's fine living in a shithole, then I am too (not that our house is really that bad, but you know). But, I've stuck to the rule that we can't have guests unless the house is clean. Which, more often than not, means we don't invite his family over. And I don't feel guilty about that, because H doesn't care enough to help me clean. This too. I get so tired of asking my husband to help every day, so I just let my house get messy for days at a time and it doesn't bother him at all.
  • I also confess that I am still REALLY disturbed by this chick on Chit Chat: http://talk.theknot.com/boards/main_frame.aspx?page=ShowForum.aspx?ForumID=588Like, really disturbed to the point where I keep thinking about it.
  • Cupcake, 6 weeks is a long time off.  It's really hard to get back into the habit when it's been that long, and that's part of where I am now with finding it hard to start up again with exercise.  But!  Tonight's the night.  For real.  And I'm a little passive-aggressive, but more than that I have a way of bottling up a lot of things until they get really bad, and then DH just gets confused about why I'm crying.  I suck at talking about my emotions, and desperately need to get better at it.  (yes, this is also related to the overeating thing)
  • (Oh... H was right about the black chairs BTW. They looked great.)
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  • I'm really glad I'm not alone on the sex thing. We were hot and heavy before I got knocked up, but since then we've had sex maybe 3 times. The last time was so awful I think we both just accepted that it won't happen again until after the baby comes. A major part of the problem is I don't feel like a beautiful woman with child, I feel like a fat unattractive oaf. I know that's irrational, but it is what it is.
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  • I am very insecure with my weight and think about it constantly.  Some days I will eat everything in sight, other days nothing at all.  I actually found a doctor who prescribed me Phentermine - which suppresses your appetite.  I am not obese and he has no medical reason to give me this.  I still take it anyway.
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  • Tree and TiDa - GO!
  • jessjo - it breaks my heart listening to you.  I'm sorry your H isn't more supportive.  Make sure your taking as much time for YOU as you are for him.  You're right, he shouldn't be telling you how to lose weight if you're asking for reassurance.  And I know it probably doesn't mean much, but I think you look great in all the pictures you've posted.
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  • I can get on board the don't-have-much-sex confession train.  My other confession is that I really don't like the posts where someone is like "hey, look at this" and makes you click on some article that doesn't end up being that great.  Last confession: I have done this before.
  • Yeah, motivation is a huge problem.  I've said I would definitely start exercising two Mondays in a row, and I have only gotten on my bike (which is how I get my exercise, mostly) once.  Lame.Of course, motivation has been sadly lacking for me in the past few months.  Master's thesis, the side job I picked up, it's getting to be a huge problem.  I literally never want to get off the couch and do anything anymore.  So I figure I just have to force myself until it becomes more routine to get up and go out and accomplish things.
  • well since so many people are posting about body images.  I've always been one to judge about seeing stretch marks.  They disgust me.  Well of course karma came and bit me in the a$$ and pregnancy was awful and now I have tons of stretch marks.  I absolutely hate my body because of it, Mr Stack is convinced they "go away" and he won't believe me that they don't.  He thinks if I just lose a little weight I'll be back into a bikini in no time.  I had to break it to him that I'll never rock a bikini again!  I am also very bitter towards women who do not get stretch marks because it's not fair that I did.
  • I've probably said this before, but I resent my FI for being laid off and enjoying unemployment while I have to go to my sucky job every day. My dad was pretty absent while I was growing up and even though he was a cheater and a sucky dad, I really wish I could have that special father/daughter moment with him at the wedding, but it just won't be the same. My mom's walking me down the aisle. I resent my FIL's for being so successful and being able to afford a boat and a retirement house in FL while my mom has worked just as hard her whole life and won't ever have those things. I want to a part of the "cool club" on this board even though people say it doesn't exist. I just can't get on often enough to post enough that people know who I am.
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  • FI doesn't help clean. Ever. He will clean the kitchen and his bathroom. Sometimes. But when he lived alone, his apartment was always clean--and when we moved in together, it all fell on me to do. He uses our spare bedroom to dump all of his clothes. Our guest bed is covered in dirty/clean clothes. I've cleaned it up twice--but I refuse to anymore. It's not fair. But then again--I'm a lazyass and spend my day sitting with my computer on my lap on the knot.
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  • JessJo, I think you're very pretty, and you certainly don't look big in any of the pictures you've posted.  Sorry your H isn't being supportive.  :-(  Have you talked to him about how his reactions aren't what you're looking for?  It would be a good lesson for him to learn sooner rather than later.  Pink, that script doesn't sound like a good idea.  Do you still eat something, at least, when you're on it, or do you just have no desire at all to eat?
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