Wedding Etiquette Forum

game? you might judge me for this but...?

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Re: game? you might judge me for this but...?

  • Lauren, I also feel better about some things after hearing everyone else's story here. Many of the things addressed here are things I can definitely relate to.Okay, this is going to make me sound completely pathetic, but it makes me feel bad when people on here consistently ignore me. NOT that I need a response to every thing I say, but if I address you specifically several times and never get a response, it makes me feel like a) I'm on "ignore" or b) I'm being shunned because I'm uncool. It makes me feel invisible. It's the outcast middle schooler inside of me I'm sure... maybe I really do belong on WW and their over-validating ways. :)



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    Taco cat: Always a palindrome. ALWAYS, okay J&K?

    "cool......insult my size 2 body or my natural brown hair...or the fact that my parents own a country club, I have no budget for a wedding, and I have horses. I really dont care. Its better then having roots." ~ futurepivko
  • I've been feeling more fat and ugly than usual lately. I don't see how FI loves me or is remotely attracted to me. Plus, I'm a ***, so I don't see why he puts up with that either.What?  This is nonsense.  Go re-read all the posts in FFF about how funny and awesome you are.  And you are also hot!  I wouldn't just say that.
  • Thanks Kati. You are too sweet.
  • jessjo, my husband is the same way so I can relate. He wont tell me im not fat unless i specifically ask him if I am, he hasnt noticed a change in my body (he claims he didnt realize I got big, and cant tell that ive gotten smaller), hes not really big on compliments. He can just be oblivious sometimes.
  • I confess that H and I have been fighting about the same three things since we've been together, and we have yet to resolve them and I'm not hopeful that we will for a very long time.
  •  - I hate the way I look naked, or with clothes on..or really any particular way. I constantly monitor my belly to make sure it's not pooching out if I can help it. These issues go waaaay back.  - I'm turning into my mother, and although she's a lovely woman, I HATE it when I hear myself say something to FI that sounds like it should be coming out of her mouth. Makes me cringe when I realize I've done it!  - I used to be really resentful of having to wash my hands b/c I felt like I was being monitored or watched if someone else was in the restroom. Now I just do it. But brushing my teeth in the evening and washing my face always feels like a chore.  - I shower in the morning and bathe at night. I could literally live in a bathtub. - cigarette smoke makes me angry. If I'm trailing someone who is smoking and it blowing in my direction, I walk past them waving my hands in disgust. I do this every time. I'm not proud of it...but I'm just really annoyed! - Our bathroom door won't shut...something about the humidity has made it swell..Now I have to hold it shut with one foot while trying to poo. It's too much work..I gave up a few times, just hoping that my fi didn't walk by at the wrong moment.  - I'm getting old. I feel old. I don't feel like any version of my past self, who I really like and admire.
  • I've never had high self-esteem. There are some girls who you look at and think, she's really pretty. I feel like no one would think that about me even if I wasn't overweight, so why put in the effort to actually lose weight. Even when I was extremely ill and losing weight because I couldn't keep food down for over a year, I thought I was too fat and I thought I was getting what I deserved for being unhealthy. But I still didn't think it was enough. I know I will always find some flaw that makes me hate the way I look, and it makes me not want to try to do anything to help myself. And I seriously question why H is attracted to me. Very seriously. To the point that it upsets him because he doesn't want to have to defend himself to me about being attracted to me. (I believe that he is, I just don't understand it.) I get jealous of other women almost constantly. To the point that I have very few female friends, because I don't want to spend my time wishing I had some aspect of their lives or thinking about how crappy of a person I am.
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  • Scar - I know it can't be good but this voice in my head says: well the doctor prescribed it so, it can't be THAT bad.  I believe he is just a drug deal in a white coat. They almost completely kill your appetite, well for me anyway. 
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  • Arbolita--I've never been, either.  I have had two paps at the local clinic, and they freaked me the fuuck out and I am too scared to go back, even though I know I should.Mandy--I'm terrified of the dentist, too.  I, though, have actually never been.  I'm surprised my teeth haven't fallen out of my head.  I used to blame it on my parents because they never had money to take my brother and I.  Well, now I have the insurance to cover it, but I'm just too scared to go.I am realizing that I really do not take care of myself and it's disgusting.
  • beatles--I feel the same way about not being recognized on here sometimes. It adds to my feeling lame about myself.
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  • Cupcake, I don't know anyone who didn't convert to a life of comfort food and weight gain while writing a thesis.  Just keep working on the motivation - next time you make yourself a promise, keep it.  (and let me know when you're successful - I dread the weight I'll gain when I write my dissertation!)Also, this:  (and I'm very ashamed)I want to a part of the "cool club" on this board even though people say it doesn't exist. I just can't get on often enough to post enough that people know who I am.
  • Love you, beatles!  :-)
  • jessjo, SERIOUSLY. Don't you think you deserve more? I know I said I wouldn't say anything about your relationship, but you have to know that the way your husband treats you (from what you've posted here) is not cool, and it's not a new thing. You KNOW that. Please don't let him put you down or drive you to drink. Don't.
  • JessJo, obviously I don't know your husband, but men really are oblivious sometimes.  And they like to "fix" things.  They're just not wired like your girlfriends who automatically tell you "OMG no, you're not fat!" when you say something.  They hear that you think you're fat, and they want to help you not feel that way.  So they suggest a solution--in your case, Wii Fit.  With that said, I can definitely see how it would get you down that he isn't more reassuring.  That would bother me too.  I'm sorry :(

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    Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
  • I will, Scarlet.  It sucks becuase there aren't any gynos in my city, so I have to drive 3 hours for one.
  • You might judge me for this, but I pretty much love my body and think I look awesome even though I'm theoretically about 10 pounds overweight still.  I sometimes feel bad that I don't have that guilt.
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    two years!
    after two losses, now happily expecting baby #1 09.16.12
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  • My H does a lot around the house.  I feel so incredibly lucky.  He also tells me I'm perfect when I biitch about being overweight.  I haz a sad for some of you ladies here.

    "It's shart week." -georgiabride
    "This post is seriously retarded." -Stackeye210
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    Miss
    Mrs & ZOMG we built a howse!
    being healthy. blog.
  • [i]Salt - when you did the consolidation did it screw up your credit score? I'd like to consolidate mine to have 1 payment, but I have a decent score I don't want to mess up. [/i] Not that I know of. My score is still pretty good.
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  • My BIL and his GF are my friends on FB.  She constantly posts status updates about going to concerts or whatever...it really makes me jealous and I miss having pretty much no responsibilities in college.  I wish I could go back and enjoy it more and realize how good I had it.  I should have partied more, studied more, and gotten involved more.  It makes me want to go to grad school so that maybe I can redeem myself (as in, study more and get better grades than I did in undergrad) and get a better job.
  • Reading all these posts almost makes me feel like we ought to have like... a self-esteem support group.  It honestly makes me a little sad to think that there are so many of us who have issues with our appearance when we probably look just fine to everyone else.  Every one of us should try to remember and tell ourselves that every day.  One day it will stick.Anyway.  I really wish I could stay and chat, but tonight we're having my kid brother over for the first time in over a month, and I have to go pick him up.  I am irrationally excited about this, but I also haven't seen House since then, because we made a pact to always watch it together.
  • Thanks guys. Crap this is becoming a drum circle of insecure ladies singing kumbaya!
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  • Because of my surgery, my farts make people think less of me. I've gotten it under control by knowing what I can and can't eat, though.
  • This thread is depressing :(
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  • Vogt, SERIOUSLY. You are beautiful, and I understand the low self esteem thing- we've all been there, but I hate that you feel that way all the time. You're one of the awesomest people I know!! How did we all end up with such horrible body images?
  • I blame the media! Ha!
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  • This honesty thing sucks, im going back to lying when I dont wan tto do things.
  • You might judge me for this, but I pretty much love my body and think I look awesome even though I'm theoretically about 10 pounds overweight still. I sometimes feel bad that I don't have that guilt.That's because you have worked so hard and deserve to love your body.  And look what you can do with it - 8Ks and stuff! Since this is basically confessions anyways I'll go ahead and say it - I've slipped back into full-fledged bulimia and need to go to the doctor but I've been putting it off because I am too lazy to work out and I'm sick of dieting and this just seems easier even though it makes me feel guilty and disgusted at myself all the time.
  • BRIE - that's awesome.  Don't feel bad at all.  Enjoy your body, and the skin you're in.
  • I'm Ok with the kumbaya drum circle.  I think a lot of us, me included, are coming away feeling a lot better about things.And with that, I've also got to get going.  Have a great weekend, ladies! 
  • Bri - I read your blog awhile back and you are awesome.  Keep up the good work, I wish I had half of your motivation!
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