Wedding Etiquette Forum

game? you might judge me for this but...?

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Re: game? you might judge me for this but...?

  • I judge me for this, so I would assume others would, too. I used moving to Arizona not only as an excuse to stop going to therapy, but also as justification for not working as hard to put what I've learned over the years into practice at all. I know full well I lean on Buddy and take advantage of the fact that he doesn't know enough about my disorder or my capabilities to know that he's enabling me. I also don't know if I feel guilty about that because I truly feel guilty, or because I feel like I SHOULD feel guilty.
    On bed rest since Groundhog's Day and every day since has been exactly the same.
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  • Kati, you know I love you and I think you're awesome. I want, so badly, for you to be healthy. I know me begging on the internet probably won't give you the push you need, but if you think it would help, I'd be happy to do it :)
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  • Kati, please please please go see your doctor. Have you asked your fi to go to counseling with you? He probably has no idea he's hitting any triggers and he needs to understand his role in your recovery.
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  • Oh my god, Vogt.  I am getting in my car and driving down to Nebraska to punch your brother in the nuts.  What a fuuckface!
  • I <3 you beatles and rach!! Rach...I totally understand what you mean about feeling like you don't have the right to complain. I know I am thin and am grateful, but when I look at old pictures and try to fit in jeans I wore 3 years ago and think that I used to model in a bikini, I don't feel like I have the same body. Just my belly and arms mostly. Luckily my legs have stayed the same. But I have not been to a pool on the strip for 2 years because I will only wear a bikini in non crowded places. And smokey...when you told me I was tiny I was shocked and wanted to tell you that you are the exact size as me if not smaller. But then I thought maybe you were just being nice so I didn't say it because I didn't want you to be offended in case you thought I did have a big belly. I know that is crazy and I feel stupid for saying it.
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  • Salt - Thank you. I may or may not have little pink hearts bubbling up over my head right now. :)Kati - I think it's great that your FI knows of your situation. Believe it or not, he may think he's helping you to feel better by suggesting places to go eat, because part of bulimia is loving to eat food. Like any enabler, he may feel like this is the only way he can help you right now until you say you're ready to do something. I've struggled with the same thing in the past, and once when I was really depressed my then-FI said, "you know what you need? Some cheesecake." And even though he was trying to help, I felt more depressed and hopeless than ever at that comment. Do you think you can talk to your FI about the food enabling thing? I'm sure he wants to help but doesn't know how.



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    Taco cat: Always a palindrome. ALWAYS, okay J&K?

    "cool......insult my size 2 body or my natural brown hair...or the fact that my parents own a country club, I have no budget for a wedding, and I have horses. I really dont care. Its better then having roots." ~ futurepivko
  • Lauren - I once had almost $10,000 in cc debt.  I eliminated it in 3 years on my own.  It's really hard, but doable.  I'll never treat credit like I did before. - I sleep separate from FI.  I like it that way - I sleep better. - I never wash my face at night, and I sleep w/ my makeup on.  Just eye stuff, but still. - I haven't been to a dentist in over 10 yrs. - I'm jealous of my "free spirit" brother.  He moved from out-of-state to the town my dad lives in, and it's like the prodigal returned home.  Dad posts on fb that he's the best son ever, yadda yadda.  My little brother and sister adore having him nearby and can't get enough of him.  Me, I've been independent and responsible just a couple hrs away for 15 yrs, making time for visits and remembering to give them presents on holidays, and they forget to call when they're in town.
  • Kati - I think you have my e-mail addy if you need anything.  I understand the struggle you're going through.  You're beautiful, BTW.
  • Sascha - Right back atcha. :) I really didn't say what I did to fish for TK love, but I appreciate it!



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    Taco cat: Always a palindrome. ALWAYS, okay J&K?

    "cool......insult my size 2 body or my natural brown hair...or the fact that my parents own a country club, I have no budget for a wedding, and I have horses. I really dont care. Its better then having roots." ~ futurepivko
  • Kati, no one is perfect and you WILL have relapses but you can get better :) !
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  • lilgina - I concur (about myself) with at least 90% of your post.
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  • Since this became a Ihate my body thread I'll add this:  My boobs have become fast friends with gravity and my asss decided it wants more cushion to sit on. It depresses me.  I am still petite and work out, i think aging really does take a toll on your body no matter what you do. and its ridiculous to hear people say,"you are little stop talking about your body!"  like just cause you are a size zero you shouldnt care about your body changing. 95% of the women I know have or had an eating disorder.  I think its a higher percentage than normal but I think it also has something to do with my social circle.
  • Thanks Vic! How about you just bring your puggy to my house for a playdate instead? You know, since you're in Nebraska and all. :)
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  • Punky the first part of your post makes my laugh!
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  • ....for judging 90% of my patients parents.  Its hard not to. ...judging people who havent traveled and are close minded.....judge people who shop at Walmart. maybe its because I never have been to a Walmart and everyone makes fun of them?  Or that Ive seen too many peopleofwalmart pics.
  • Sascha-no way we are the same size!  You are tiny.  I would peg you at a 0/2 maybe a 4 on a bad day.  Belly?  I didn't see it at all and you were wearing a fitted dress.  I saw some FB pics of you too and you are awesome!  Mariah-Totally off topic.  If you are having trouble with your run, consider a walk/approach.  I did that for my marathon.  I would run a 9-10 minute mile for 2 minutes and then walk for 1.  I managed to finish the marathon with a 12:45 mile average.  Not bad.  It would work in a half as well.  You could really open up in the last few miles.  Page me if you want to chat more.  I'm on FB too.  Very easy to find.
    Bi-oh-rama
    Now with more wedded bliss.


    I don't get married often, but when I do, I do it in Las Vegas.

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    "smokeybailey is the one shining beacon of light in this steaming turd of a thread." - daffodil_jill
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  • [quote]it makes me feel bad when people on here consistently ignore me. NOT that I need a response to every thing I say, but if I address you specifically several times and never get a response, it makes me feel like a) I'm on "ignore" or b) I'm being shunned because I'm uncool.[/quote]This.  I feel this on a regular basis.  Which is why it's reassuring that others do, as well, b/c beatles I *do* notice your posts and I often like or agree w/ them.  I just don't like to be redundant and ditto ppl (except for in this post, duh).
  • ....I judge stay at home moms.  Or should I clarify and say woman who have always dreamed of being stay at home moms.  Really?  Thats the entirety of your dreams and desires?  to wipe baby butts and play with American Girl dolls?
  • lilgina, try this code for your sig pic instead of the [img] code: but take out the *s

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  • I was in tears last week when FI & I were discussing the wedding budget.  I am not good with money and I realized all the money I am paying out now in my credit card bill and student loan, it's ridiculous.  We could have $500 a month. I could pay our dj and videographer in 2 months with that money.  He just said "It is what it is, babe."  But it makes me feel like a giant d-bag, especially at my age.  FWIW Laurenclaire, I'm in worse shape than you, and you really will feel better once you Also, despite making progress in therapy, I still have trouble confronting people I care about when I am upset.  I still do the shut down/ignore/pretend everything is fine.  I have been miffed all week, and last night FI asked what was on my mind, and I said "Nothing. Just tired." then I went to sleep at 9:30 to just not deal with it.  Finally I grew up enough today to talk to him at lunch about what was bothering me. We still have to talk more about it in the future because it is definitely something we need to have some sort of compromise on before getting married.
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  • Punky, I judge them too.  Maybe I shouldn't, but I do.  I think if I had to be a stay at home mom, I would die a little inside every day.
  • Carrie thank you! And (sorry) ditto what you said. :) I remember you from our discussion a month or so ago w/Cew about our FIs messing w/telemarketers and the Nigerian scams. I often find myself eye to eye, or laughing, at your posts.



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    Taco cat: Always a palindrome. ALWAYS, okay J&K?

    "cool......insult my size 2 body or my natural brown hair...or the fact that my parents own a country club, I have no budget for a wedding, and I have horses. I really dont care. Its better then having roots." ~ futurepivko
  • Kati- your chitchat link took me to the board.  Which post is it?
  • Kati- your chitchat link took me to the board. Which post is it?The Nervous & Nauseous one.
  • Kati- your chitchat link took me to the board. Which post is it?The Nervous & Nauseous one.Ehh, I think she DD'd :(  Which is weird since I am the only person who said anything un-nice.
  • I have no IRL friends I can talk to about how depressed I am and how I can't think of any way to pay for the rest of my daughter's college tuition that doesn't involve my life insurance being paid out.   I lurk here because it helps me to smile during the day.
  • Well, I suppose I'll join in too...I hate my body too.  I'm short, and short-waisted, and all of my weight is right in my middle.  Back when I got engaged, I had this goal to lose weight and get in shape, so that I can wear a bikini on my honeymoon, as I haven't worn one since high school, and I don't think I've ever worn one in public.  I haven't lost any weight at all.  I'm thinking of just saying *fuuck it* and getting one anyway, just b/c I can. FI has gained weight too, and it makes me feel better.  I know that's awful, and we both need to work out and get healthy, but I almost feel validated that he's put on weight too.    And I know my opinion doesn't mean much, but Salt, Beatles, and Scarlet, I think you're all very pretty. 
  • lilgina - I concur (about myself) with at least 90% of your post.Me too
  • Aww TX sorry about your situation.
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  • I'm supposed to be cooking dinner for 10 people in an hour. I dont feel like it. I dont care if our friends came all the way from australia, we're exhausted from this week in the hospital and all the bad news.Totally order in, if they are good friends they will more than understand!
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