Wedding Etiquette Forum

Cash Bars - Everything you need to know in one place

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Re: Cash Bars - Everything you need to know in one place

  • NYCBruin said:
    Hey, there are couples who don't bother with the legal part.  We did for the same reason you did, I'm guessing. 

    I honestly would have liked to have done everything in Mexico.  Honestly.  I was told it was a logistical nightmare by three different people and read it on several destination wedding blogs.  So we chose this instead. 
    Then why did you choose Mexico?  There are plenty of other places you could have gotten married on a budget for less of a headache. 
    I suspect because she wants her cake ("wedding") and to eat it too (have a honeymoon/family vacation).

    Jenn, are you and your husband getting a deal on your accommodations if your friends and family stay at the same resort/hotel?
    No.  A crazy, astronomical number of people have to book for us to get a deal and we won't hit that number.  We get two free nights on our anniversary stay but we get that if no one books. 

    I sense that DWs are not popular here. 
  • NYCBruin said:
    Hey, there are couples who don't bother with the legal part.  We did for the same reason you did, I'm guessing. 

    I honestly would have liked to have done everything in Mexico.  Honestly.  I was told it was a logistical nightmare by three different people and read it on several destination wedding blogs.  So we chose this instead. 
    Then why did you choose Mexico?  There are plenty of other places you could have gotten married on a budget for less of a headache. 
    I suspect because she wants her cake ("wedding") and to eat it too (have a honeymoon/family vacation).

    Jenn, are you and your husband getting a deal on your accommodations if your friends and family stay at the same resort/hotel?
    No.  A crazy, astronomical number of people have to book for us to get a deal and we won't hit that number.  We get two free nights on our anniversary stay but we get that if no one books. 

    I sense that DWs are not popular here. 
    Destination dress up parties where you don't actually get married are panned due to their rudeness. 
    KeptInStitchesdoeydoPrettyGirlLost[Deleted User]
  • misshart00misshart00 Oklahoma member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    I remember a while back, someone here had a destination wedding in Europe. The town they got married in was so strict, they had to post an announcement in the town square and leave it up for a month I think so people could oppose it if they wanted to. They still chose to get married there and did all the requirements.
    aurorajanette
  • I remember a while back, someone here had a destination wedding in Europe. The town they got married in was so strict, they had to post an announcement in the town square and leave it up for a month I think so people could oppose it if they wanted to. They still chose to get married there and did all the requirements.

    Wow! That's legit!
  • misshart00misshart00 Oklahoma member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer



    I remember a while back, someone here had a destination wedding in Europe. The town they got married in was so strict, they had to post an announcement in the town square and leave it up for a month I think so people could oppose it if they wanted to. They still chose to get married there and did all the requirements.
    Wow! That's legit!

    It was years and years ago so I don't remember all the other details. But I thought it was so interesting and remembered it. (I want to say it was in Ireland, but I don't remember).
  • If vows are that important why don't you do an a vow renewal in a year or so? In front of your friends and family without any wedding attire or wedding themed decor. I think people frown upon the idea that signing papers means nothing to reciting vows. The truth is that the act of getting married in the US is is valid whether you recited vows in front of friend and family or not. Marriage is a legal act, everything else is optional.
    A lot of people would argue that marriage is not just a legal act. 

    To answer your question, I just personally don't care for vow renewals.  We wouldn't ever do one. 
    You keep saying you don't want any surprises on your 2015 W-2. What kind of surprises are you thinking of? Because I can literally think of none.
    Repeat:  The IRS mandates that domestic partner insurance premiums are considered taxable income.
    banana468 said:
    banana468 said:
    And if you think that the governmental process of getting married is the most important part, then I just feel bad for you. Because yes, it IS just a piece of paper.   That's just the government's acknowledgement that we're married.  The important part is saying your vows in front of those near and dear to you. 
    NONONONONO.  JUST NO.  You claim the governmental part isn't important, and yet you'll take the financial benefits of marriage thankyouverymuch.  Didn't you just say it's not just paperwork, you were excited to be married when you signed it?  And again we're back to the same thing: try to tell gay couples or interracial couples that the "governmental," "legal," or "paperwork" part isn't important.  You simply cannot have a wedding when you are already married.  

    It sounds like you will have a lovely vacation and party with your family and friends.  But it is not a wedding.
    THIS.

    Don't use the bullshit line that the government part isn't important.   It's SO important that you want the tax benefit for 2013 as well.   It's SO important that you CHOSE to get married for thousands of dollars in benefits that you weren't legally entitled to without that little "piece of paper."

    That benefit was so important to DH and me that we knew that the little piece of paper needed to be signed at the same time we were joined as husband and wife in our faith and before all our friends and family.    It was so important that we knew those who came to see us get married actually deserved to see us get married.   

    Evidently you don't value your family that way. 
    I wouldn't say thousands of dollars.  We really only legally married so there are no surprises on my 2015 W-2, whatever those may be.  WE ARE PLAYING IT SAFE.

    There are no other tax benefits for us because we don't own any kind of property, we don't plan to contribute to one another's IRAs (just our own) and we have no children to claim or crazy deductions.  Literally we will not reap any tax bennies for being married.  So please tell me what tax benefit I'm reaping, other than not getting my butt handed to me for paying his insurance premiums.

    I value my family enough to want to plan something very fun for them and you are not nice for saying otherwise.
    Do a quick Google search to see all the rights that you are entitled to (tax and otherwise) by being legally married.    You may not use all of them but they are still available to you as a married couple now.

    I didn't say you aren't planning something fun.   I said you aren't valuing your family enough to let them watch you actually get married.   That may not be nice but it's the truth.    

    Sometimes the truth hurts.  
    You referenced 2013 tax benefits before. 
  • JCbride2015JCbride2015 Dirty Jerz member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    The problem is not the DW at all.  Plenty of people have DWs.  It is possible to have a DW and host your guests properly.  The first step to that is... don't pretend to get married when you are already married.

    The problem is that you are already married, but you're calling your vacation a wedding, which it isn't.  If you are not telling all your guests you're already married, that's also lying, which makes it doubly bad (general you, don't know whether you specifically are keeping this from your guests or not).
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  • @misshart00 I wonder what would have happened if a townperson rejected the ceremony request? I have to google this now lol. I am so nosey.
    misshart00
  • I remember a while back, someone here had a destination wedding in Europe. The town they got married in was so strict, they had to post an announcement in the town square and leave it up for a month I think so people could oppose it if they wanted to. They still chose to get married there and did all the requirements.
    Posting a notice in the town square and foreign governments sticking a hemophiliac in the arm are two very different things. 
  • The problem is not the DW at all.  Plenty of people have DWs.  It is possible to have a DW and host your guests properly.  The first step to that is... don't pretend to get married when you are already married.

    The problem is that you are already married, but you're calling your vacation a wedding, which it isn't.  If you are not telling all your guests you're already married, that's also lying, which makes it doubly bad (general you, don't know whether you specifically are keeping this from your guests or not).
    Nah, we plan to tell them.  Some already know.
  • misshart00misshart00 Oklahoma member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer

    @misshart00 I wonder what would have happened if a townperson rejected the ceremony request? I have to google this now lol. I am so nosey.

    Let me know what you find!
    perdonami
  • I remember a while back, someone here had a destination wedding in Europe. The town they got married in was so strict, they had to post an announcement in the town square and leave it up for a month I think so people could oppose it if they wanted to. They still chose to get married there and did all the requirements.
    Posting a notice in the town square and foreign governments sticking a hemophiliac in the arm are two very different things. 

    Please just stop...you are just making yourself look foolish now for even addressing this post.
    move on now. Your "wedding" rant has nothing to do with cash bars either.
    doeydoaurorajanette[Deleted User]
  • If vows are that important why don't you do an a vow renewal in a year or so? In front of your friends and family without any wedding attire or wedding themed decor. I think people frown upon the idea that signing papers means nothing to reciting vows. The truth is that the act of getting married in the US is is valid whether you recited vows in front of friend and family or not. Marriage is a legal act, everything else is optional.
    A lot of people would argue that marriage is not just a legal act. 

    To answer your question, I just personally don't care for vow renewals.  We wouldn't ever do one. 
    You keep saying you don't want any surprises on your 2015 W-2. What kind of surprises are you thinking of? Because I can literally think of none.
    Repeat:  The IRS mandates that domestic partner insurance premiums are considered taxable income.
    banana468 said:
    banana468 said:
    And if you think that the governmental process of getting married is the most important part, then I just feel bad for you. Because yes, it IS just a piece of paper.   That's just the government's acknowledgement that we're married.  The important part is saying your vows in front of those near and dear to you. 
    NONONONONO.  JUST NO.  You claim the governmental part isn't important, and yet you'll take the financial benefits of marriage thankyouverymuch.  Didn't you just say it's not just paperwork, you were excited to be married when you signed it?  And again we're back to the same thing: try to tell gay couples or interracial couples that the "governmental," "legal," or "paperwork" part isn't important.  You simply cannot have a wedding when you are already married.  

    It sounds like you will have a lovely vacation and party with your family and friends.  But it is not a wedding.
    THIS.

    Don't use the bullshit line that the government part isn't important.   It's SO important that you want the tax benefit for 2013 as well.   It's SO important that you CHOSE to get married for thousands of dollars in benefits that you weren't legally entitled to without that little "piece of paper."

    That benefit was so important to DH and me that we knew that the little piece of paper needed to be signed at the same time we were joined as husband and wife in our faith and before all our friends and family.    It was so important that we knew those who came to see us get married actually deserved to see us get married.   

    Evidently you don't value your family that way. 
    I wouldn't say thousands of dollars.  We really only legally married so there are no surprises on my 2015 W-2, whatever those may be.  WE ARE PLAYING IT SAFE.

    There are no other tax benefits for us because we don't own any kind of property, we don't plan to contribute to one another's IRAs (just our own) and we have no children to claim or crazy deductions.  Literally we will not reap any tax bennies for being married.  So please tell me what tax benefit I'm reaping, other than not getting my butt handed to me for paying his insurance premiums.

    I value my family enough to want to plan something very fun for them and you are not nice for saying otherwise.
    Do a quick Google search to see all the rights that you are entitled to (tax and otherwise) by being legally married.    You may not use all of them but they are still available to you as a married couple now.

    I didn't say you aren't planning something fun.   I said you aren't valuing your family enough to let them watch you actually get married.   That may not be nice but it's the truth.    

    Sometimes the truth hurts.  
    You referenced 2013 tax benefits before. 
    Yes.   Look up the benefits that you're entitled to as of this year.   There are income tax benefits as well as other benefits that you gain such as if you sell property.        

    Is this the only rebuttal you have? 
  • misshart00misshart00 Oklahoma member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    If you already know that domestic partner insurance is taxable income, then it wouldn't be a surprise. I'm super confused.
  • I remember a while back, someone here had a destination wedding in Europe. The town they got married in was so strict, they had to post an announcement in the town square and leave it up for a month I think so people could oppose it if they wanted to. They still chose to get married there and did all the requirements.
    Posting a notice in the town square and foreign governments sticking a hemophiliac in the arm are two very different things. 

    Please just stop...you are just making yourself look foolish now for even addressing this post.
    move on now. Your "wedding" rant has nothing to do with cash bars either.
    Please reference my original post on cash bars on page 14, at which point, JCBride snarkily quoted from my introduction post saying "Great advice from someone lying to their friends and family about her PPD:".  I did not bring up my DW in this thread myself and go OT.  I have only defended it.  Thank you and have a nice day.


    banana468 said:
    If vows are that important why don't you do an a vow renewal in a year or so? In front of your friends and family without any wedding attire or wedding themed decor. I think people frown upon the idea that signing papers means nothing to reciting vows. The truth is that the act of getting married in the US is is valid whether you recited vows in front of friend and family or not. Marriage is a legal act, everything else is optional.
    A lot of people would argue that marriage is not just a legal act. 

    To answer your question, I just personally don't care for vow renewals.  We wouldn't ever do one. 
    You keep saying you don't want any surprises on your 2015 W-2. What kind of surprises are you thinking of? Because I can literally think of none.
    Repeat:  The IRS mandates that domestic partner insurance premiums are considered taxable income.
    banana468 said:
    banana468 said:
    And if you think that the governmental process of getting married is the most important part, then I just feel bad for you. Because yes, it IS just a piece of paper.   That's just the government's acknowledgement that we're married.  The important part is saying your vows in front of those near and dear to you. 
    NONONONONO.  JUST NO.  You claim the governmental part isn't important, and yet you'll take the financial benefits of marriage thankyouverymuch.  Didn't you just say it's not just paperwork, you were excited to be married when you signed it?  And again we're back to the same thing: try to tell gay couples or interracial couples that the "governmental," "legal," or "paperwork" part isn't important.  You simply cannot have a wedding when you are already married.  

    It sounds like you will have a lovely vacation and party with your family and friends.  But it is not a wedding.
    THIS.

    Don't use the bullshit line that the government part isn't important.   It's SO important that you want the tax benefit for 2013 as well.   It's SO important that you CHOSE to get married for thousands of dollars in benefits that you weren't legally entitled to without that little "piece of paper."

    That benefit was so important to DH and me that we knew that the little piece of paper needed to be signed at the same time we were joined as husband and wife in our faith and before all our friends and family.    It was so important that we knew those who came to see us get married actually deserved to see us get married.   

    Evidently you don't value your family that way. 
    I wouldn't say thousands of dollars.  We really only legally married so there are no surprises on my 2015 W-2, whatever those may be.  WE ARE PLAYING IT SAFE.

    There are no other tax benefits for us because we don't own any kind of property, we don't plan to contribute to one another's IRAs (just our own) and we have no children to claim or crazy deductions.  Literally we will not reap any tax bennies for being married.  So please tell me what tax benefit I'm reaping, other than not getting my butt handed to me for paying his insurance premiums.

    I value my family enough to want to plan something very fun for them and you are not nice for saying otherwise.
    Do a quick Google search to see all the rights that you are entitled to (tax and otherwise) by being legally married.    You may not use all of them but they are still available to you as a married couple now.

    I didn't say you aren't planning something fun.   I said you aren't valuing your family enough to let them watch you actually get married.   That may not be nice but it's the truth.    

    Sometimes the truth hurts.  
    You referenced 2013 tax benefits before. 
    Yes.   Look up the benefits that you're entitled to as of this year.   There are income tax benefits as well as other benefits that you gain such as if you sell property.        

    Is this the only rebuttal you have? 
    We will receive no tax benefits this year.  Or next year.  Or possibly the year after that.  I don't know how to make this any clearer to you.


    If you already know that domestic partner insurance is taxable income, then it wouldn't be a surprise. I'm super confused.
    Forget it, just be confused. 
  • I remember a while back, someone here had a destination wedding in Europe. The town they got married in was so strict, they had to post an announcement in the town square and leave it up for a month I think so people could oppose it if they wanted to. They still chose to get married there and did all the requirements.
    Posting a notice in the town square and foreign governments sticking a hemophiliac in the arm are two very different things. 
    Blood tests are required in lots of places.  If it were that big of a deal then you should have researched this BEFORE you chose Mexico.  There are literally thousands of places in the world where you could have wed without having blood drawn if your FI were so opposed to it.
    Don't worry guys, I have the Wedding Police AND the Whambulance on speed dial!
    mimiphindoeydoPrettyGirlLostaurorajanette
  • JCbride2015JCbride2015 Dirty Jerz member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    edited December 2013

    I remember a while back, someone here had a destination wedding in Europe. The town they got married in was so strict, they had to post an announcement in the town square and leave it up for a month I think so people could oppose it if they wanted to. They still chose to get married there and did all the requirements.
    Posting a notice in the town square and foreign governments sticking a hemophiliac in the arm are two very different things. 

    Please just stop...you are just making yourself look foolish now for even addressing this post.
    move on now. Your "wedding" rant has nothing to do with cash bars either.
    Yeah that one's on me for pointing out that she gave terrible etiquette advice re: cash bars, and is having a PPD.  So obviously there's some correlation that if both of those things are okay in her book, etiquette is not a strong suit.

    ETA: there were so many trolls on the boards today, when I saw her awful cash bar advice, I clicked to see if she was a brand new poster/ troll.  One of her only discussions was about her PPD, so there ya have it.
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  • NYCBruin said:
    I remember a while back, someone here had a destination wedding in Europe. The town they got married in was so strict, they had to post an announcement in the town square and leave it up for a month I think so people could oppose it if they wanted to. They still chose to get married there and did all the requirements.
    Posting a notice in the town square and foreign governments sticking a hemophiliac in the arm are two very different things. 
    Blood tests are required in lots of places.  If it were that big of a deal then you should have researched this BEFORE you chose Mexico.  There are literally thousands of places in the world where you could have wed without having blood drawn if your FI were so opposed to it.
    Actually no we can't.  His birth certificate lists no parents, not even his adopted parents.  This presents a huge problem in many countries. 

    Do you even know what hemophilia is?  He isn't "opposed" to the idea of getting stuck with a needle.  It's not like, "you know, I just don't feel like getting that done."  He could bleed out if the phlebotomist doesn't know what they are doing.

    So judgey up in here.  I didn't even ask for advice.  Because I literally do not care what randos on the interwebs think.
  • Trolling in the rain! Just trolling in the rain! I am getting married in 2 weeks that is after the new year and I have no concern over tax benefits...that's not why I am marrying my FI, and we actually have big kid things to worry about like a mortgage and a business.
  • I'm convinced you have no idea what you're talking about.
    I'm convinced you spend your time on the internet judging other people and also have no idea about IRS tax guidelines when it comes to health insurance benefits.  To each their own.



    I remember a while back, someone here had a destination wedding in Europe. The town they got married in was so strict, they had to post an announcement in the town square and leave it up for a month I think so people could oppose it if they wanted to. They still chose to get married there and did all the requirements.
    Posting a notice in the town square and foreign governments sticking a hemophiliac in the arm are two very different things. 

    Please just stop...you are just making yourself look foolish now for even addressing this post.
    move on now. Your "wedding" rant has nothing to do with cash bars either.
    Yeah that one's on me for pointing out that she gave terrible etiquette advice re: cash bars, and is having a PPD.  So obviously there's some correlation that if both of those things are okay in her book, etiquette is not a strong suit.

    ETA: there were so many trolls on the boards today, when I saw her awful cash bar advice, I clicked to see if she was a brand new poster/ troll.  One of her only discussions was about her PPD, so there ya have it.
    I didn't give advice.  I simply gave my opinion and there is a difference.  Learn it.
  • JCbride2015JCbride2015 Dirty Jerz member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    NYCBruin said:
    I remember a while back, someone here had a destination wedding in Europe. The town they got married in was so strict, they had to post an announcement in the town square and leave it up for a month I think so people could oppose it if they wanted to. They still chose to get married there and did all the requirements.
    Posting a notice in the town square and foreign governments sticking a hemophiliac in the arm are two very different things. 
    Blood tests are required in lots of places.  If it were that big of a deal then you should have researched this BEFORE you chose Mexico.  There are literally thousands of places in the world where you could have wed without having blood drawn if your FI were so opposed to it.
    Actually no we can't.  His birth certificate lists no parents, not even his adopted parents.  This presents a huge problem in many countries. 

    Do you even know what hemophilia is?  He isn't "opposed" to the idea of getting stuck with a needle.  It's not like, "you know, I just don't feel like getting that done."  He could bleed out if the phlebotomist doesn't know what they are doing.

    So judgey up in here.  I didn't even ask for advice.  Because I literally do not care what randos on the interwebs think.
    The more I think about this, the less I buy it.  There's an excuse for everything.  And the obvious solution is, get married locally.  OR do the research and preparation to have a real DW somewhere that poses fewer problems than Mexico.

    These are all just excuses: she planned a DW in Mexico, then H got a new job and they realized they would save money on insurance by getting married now.  So they did, but they still want the DW in Mexico, so they're having that too because WE ARE SPESHUL, we like money, and REASONS.
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  • Trolling in the rain! Just trolling in the rain! I am getting married in 2 weeks that is after the new year and I have no concern over tax benefits...that's not why I am marrying my FI, and we actually have big kid things to worry about like a mortgage and a business.
    I live in DC metro. My rent is probably more than your mortgage.  That's a big kid thing to worry about right there ;)

    If you don't care about the tax bennies, don't sign the piece of paper. ;)
  • NYCBruin said:
    I remember a while back, someone here had a destination wedding in Europe. The town they got married in was so strict, they had to post an announcement in the town square and leave it up for a month I think so people could oppose it if they wanted to. They still chose to get married there and did all the requirements.
    Posting a notice in the town square and foreign governments sticking a hemophiliac in the arm are two very different things. 
    Blood tests are required in lots of places.  If it were that big of a deal then you should have researched this BEFORE you chose Mexico.  There are literally thousands of places in the world where you could have wed without having blood drawn if your FI were so opposed to it.
    Actually no we can't.  His birth certificate lists no parents, not even his adopted parents.  This presents a huge problem in many countries. 

    Do you even know what hemophilia is?  He isn't "opposed" to the idea of getting stuck with a needle.  It's not like, "you know, I just don't feel like getting that done."  He could bleed out if the phlebotomist doesn't know what they are doing.

    So judgey up in here.  I didn't even ask for advice.  Because I literally do not care what randos on the interwebs think.
    The more I think about this, the less I buy it.  There's an excuse for everything.  And the obvious solution is, get married locally.  OR do the research and preparation to have a real DW somewhere that poses fewer problems than Mexico.

    These are all just excuses: she planned a DW in Mexico, then H got a new job and they realized they would save money on insurance by getting married now.  So they did, but they still want the DW in Mexico, so they're having that too because WE ARE SPESHUL, we like money, and REASONS.
    I LIVE IN DC.  Have you looked at prices here?  That is a serious question. 
  • edited December 2013
  • NYCBruin said:
    I remember a while back, someone here had a destination wedding in Europe. The town they got married in was so strict, they had to post an announcement in the town square and leave it up for a month I think so people could oppose it if they wanted to. They still chose to get married there and did all the requirements.
    Posting a notice in the town square and foreign governments sticking a hemophiliac in the arm are two very different things. 
    Blood tests are required in lots of places.  If it were that big of a deal then you should have researched this BEFORE you chose Mexico.  There are literally thousands of places in the world where you could have wed without having blood drawn if your FI were so opposed to it.
    Actually no we can't.  His birth certificate lists no parents, not even his adopted parents.  This presents a huge problem in many countries. 

    Do you even know what hemophilia is?  He isn't "opposed" to the idea of getting stuck with a needle.  It's not like, "you know, I just don't feel like getting that done."  He could bleed out if the phlebotomist doesn't know what they are doing.

    So judgey up in here.  I didn't even ask for advice.  Because I literally do not care what randos on the interwebs think.
    The more I think about this, the less I buy it.  There's an excuse for everything.  And the obvious solution is, get married locally.  OR do the research and preparation to have a real DW somewhere that poses fewer problems than Mexico.

    These are all just excuses: she planned a DW in Mexico, then H got a new job and they realized they would save money on insurance by getting married now.  So they did, but they still want the DW in Mexico, so they're having that too because WE ARE SPESHUL, we like money, and REASONS.
    Wait a second....what exactly don't you buy? 
  • JCbride2015JCbride2015 Dirty Jerz member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    Trolling in the rain! Just trolling in the rain! I am getting married in 2 weeks that is after the new year and I have no concern over tax benefits...that's not why I am marrying my FI, and we actually have big kid things to worry about like a mortgage and a business.
    I live in DC metro. My rent is probably more than your mortgage.  That's a big kid thing to worry about right there ;)

    If you don't care about the tax bennies, don't sign the piece of paper. ;)
    Can everybody please just stop it with claiming that your metro area is so expensive you can't afford a wedding.  FWIW, I live within a stone's throw of Manhattan, my rent is way more than my dad's mortgage, and there are lots of cheap ways to have a wedding around here.  None of them will make you feel like a princess, but you will be married at the end of the day and surrounded by loved ones.

    We want a big wedding, and yes it's expensive around here to do that, so we are WAITING to get married like responsible mature adults, until we can afford it.  It would be wonderful to get the financial benefits of marriage right away, but we made an adult decision that the wedding we want is worth the wait.
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  • misshart00misshart00 Oklahoma member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    Darn, you caught me. Oh well.

    Did you get married in DC?
  • JCbride2015JCbride2015 Dirty Jerz member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    NYCBruin said:
    I remember a while back, someone here had a destination wedding in Europe. The town they got married in was so strict, they had to post an announcement in the town square and leave it up for a month I think so people could oppose it if they wanted to. They still chose to get married there and did all the requirements.
    Posting a notice in the town square and foreign governments sticking a hemophiliac in the arm are two very different things. 
    Blood tests are required in lots of places.  If it were that big of a deal then you should have researched this BEFORE you chose Mexico.  There are literally thousands of places in the world where you could have wed without having blood drawn if your FI were so opposed to it.
    Actually no we can't.  His birth certificate lists no parents, not even his adopted parents.  This presents a huge problem in many countries. 

    Do you even know what hemophilia is?  He isn't "opposed" to the idea of getting stuck with a needle.  It's not like, "you know, I just don't feel like getting that done."  He could bleed out if the phlebotomist doesn't know what they are doing.

    So judgey up in here.  I didn't even ask for advice.  Because I literally do not care what randos on the interwebs think.
    The more I think about this, the less I buy it.  There's an excuse for everything.  And the obvious solution is, get married locally.  OR do the research and preparation to have a real DW somewhere that poses fewer problems than Mexico.

    These are all just excuses: she planned a DW in Mexico, then H got a new job and they realized they would save money on insurance by getting married now.  So they did, but they still want the DW in Mexico, so they're having that too because WE ARE SPESHUL, we like money, and REASONS.
    Wait a second....what exactly don't you buy? 
    I don't buy your reasons for a hot second.

    And I'm undecided about whether you are a troll or if anything you're saying is actually true.
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    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

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