Cash Bars - Everything you need to know in one place

MrsDeRuyter87

sunshinejenn03 said:

MrsDeRuyter87 said:

Trolling in the rain! Just trolling in the rain! I am getting married in 2 weeks that is after the new year and I have no concern over tax benefits...that's not why I am marrying my FI, and we actually have big kid things to worry about like a mortgage and a business.

I live in DC metro. My rent is probably more than your mortgage.  That's a big kid thing to worry about right there

If you don't care about the tax bennies, don't sign the piece of paper.

I don't give two pennies where you live. *wink face to that*

sunshinejenn03

JCBride2014 said:

sunshinejenn03 said:

MrsDeRuyter87 said:

Trolling in the rain! Just trolling in the rain! I am getting married in 2 weeks that is after the new year and I have no concern over tax benefits...that's not why I am marrying my FI, and we actually have big kid things to worry about like a mortgage and a business.

I live in DC metro. My rent is probably more than your mortgage.  That's a big kid thing to worry about right there

If you don't care about the tax bennies, don't sign the piece of paper.

Can everybody please just stop it with claiming that your metro area is so expensive you can't afford a wedding.  FWIW, I live within a stone's throw of Manhattan, my rent is way more than my dad's mortgage, and there are lots of cheap ways to have a wedding around here.  None of them will make you feel like a princess, but you will be married at the end of the day and surrounded by loved ones.

We want a big wedding, and yes it's expensive around here to do that, so we are WAITING to get married like responsible mature adults, until we can afford it.  It would be wonderful to get the financial benefits of marriage right away, but we made an adult decision that the wedding we want is worth the wait.

JCBride2014 said:

sunshinejenn03 said:

JCBride2014 said:

sunshinejenn03 said:

NYCBruin said:

sunshinejenn03 said:

misshart00 said:

I remember a while back, someone here had a destination wedding in Europe. The town they got married in was so strict, they had to post an announcement in the town square and leave it up for a month I think so people could oppose it if they wanted to. They still chose to get married there and did all the requirements.

Posting a notice in the town square and foreign governments sticking a hemophiliac in the arm are two very different things. 

Blood tests are required in lots of places.  If it were that big of a deal then you should have researched this BEFORE you chose Mexico.  There are literally thousands of places in the world where you could have wed without having blood drawn if your FI were so opposed to it.

Actually no we can't.  His birth certificate lists no parents, not even his adopted parents.  This presents a huge problem in many countries. 

Do you even know what hemophilia is?  He isn't "opposed" to the idea of getting stuck with a needle.  It's not like, "you know, I just don't feel like getting that done."  He could bleed out if the phlebotomist doesn't know what they are doing.

So judgey up in here.  I didn't even ask for advice.  Because I literally do not care what randos on the interwebs think.

The more I think about this, the less I buy it.  There's an excuse for everything.  And the obvious solution is, get married locally.  OR do the research and preparation to have a real DW somewhere that poses fewer problems than Mexico.

These are all just excuses: she planned a DW in Mexico, then H got a new job and they realized they would save money on insurance by getting married now.  So they did, but they still want the DW in Mexico, so they're having that too because WE ARE SPESHUL, we like money, and REASONS.

Wait a second....what exactly don't you buy? 

I don't buy your reasons for a hot second.

And I'm undecided about whether you are a troll or if anything you're saying is actually true.

So basically, you're calling me a liar.  You think I am lying that my S/O is adopted, which presents a problem in marrying out of the country.  You think I'm lying that he's a hemophiliac, which means he shouldn't be stuck with needles, which also presents a problem.  You think I'm lying about wanting to save money on insurance premiums and not get dinged on it at the end of the year and you think I'm lying for wanting to spend a week in a beautiful location with my closest family and friends while they watch us say our vows. 

Those all seem like valid reasons to me but you call me a troll.  FWIW, I got engaged on May 6 of this year, exactly one day after I returned from a nerdy effing book convention in Kansas City.  I joined on May 7.  I'm on twitter.  I run my own website.  I actually do not give two S' about trolling a wedding forum.  You guys are not that cool or that important.

MrsDeRuyter87

ok then. BYE.

JCbride2015

Oh okay, good to know you're a real person with terrible excuses for breaching etiquette.  I literally thought your posts were so outrageous nobody could possibly really think like that.  Glad to see I was wrong.

ETA:  I think it was the "We like money" reason for holding a PPD that raised the biggest red flag.

sunshinejenn03

Seriously, who doesn't like money?  If you tell me you don't care about money, you're a big fat liar. 

And I didn't say it was the reason for our DW.  It's the reason we legally married so early. 

NolaBeachBride

Did someone on here write a book of wedding etiquette that I totally missed?

sunshinejenn03

Yeah, it's called "Weddings: There's Only One Way and It's The Knot's."

JCbride2015

sunshinejenn03 said:

Seriously, who doesn't like money?  If you tell me you don't care about money, you're a big fat liar. 

And I didn't say it was the reason for our DW.  It's the reason we legally married so early. 

Hahahahahahaha HAHAHAHA hahahahaha

MrsDeRuyter87

etiquette 

1. conventional requirements as to social behavior; proprieties of conduct as established in any class or community or for any occasion.
2. a prescribed or accepted code of usage in matters of ceremony, as at a court or in official or other formal observances.
3. the code of ethical behavior regarding professional practice or action among the members of a profession in their dealings with each other: medical etiquette.

sunshinejenn03

MrsDeRuyter87 said:

etiquette 

1. conventional requirements as to social behavior; proprieties of conduct as established in any class or community or for any occasion.
2. a prescribed or accepted code of usage in matters of ceremony, as at a court or in official or other formal observances.
3. the code of ethical behavior regarding professional practice or action among the members of a profession in their dealings with each other: medical etiquette.

Oh pardon me.  I didn't realize there was only one way of doing things. 

sunshinejenn03

But look, I can quote things, too!

wedding [ˈwɛdɪŋ]

n

1.

a.  the act of marrying or the celebration of a marriage

b.  (as modifier) wedding day

2. the anniversary of a marriage (in such combinations as silver wedding or diamond wedding)

3. the combination or blending of two separate elements

MrsDeRuyter87

That has nothing to do with the etiquette of throwing a party or a "celebration" nice try though. You are starting to bore me, so enjoy your newly married weekend.

MrsDeRuyter87

ps: have a trolltastic weekend.

sunshinejenn03

Seriously stop talking.  Disagreeing with someone doesn't make them a troll.  If you don't know the difference, you don't know how to internet.

HaileyDancingbear

TanLines&Wine said:

I love how she jumped all over me and was so vicious and now I'M the bad one. YIKES.

Really, because "Vicious" is what I'd use to describe calling people retarded and telling them they look like trolls.  I'd pity your obvious need for validation from internet strangers, and your obvious cries for attention, but you're just too nasty of a person for me to even care, so whatever, name call on the internet, at least it's keeping you busy so that people in real life don't have to put up with your excessively hateful attitude.   Just don't do it here, it's against the TOS.  

NYCBruin

If there's something that prevents you from getting married in a particular place, don't have your "wedding" there. This is not a difficult problem to solve. Get married someplace where you can meet the requirements.

mimiphin

Uggg, How in the world did Cash Bars morph in to PPD.

sunshinejenn03
What about Hawaii, Jamaica (cost is $50usd for a license), Cuba, Turks and Caicos that all don't require a blood test? Why do you "Have to" have it be in Mexico. If I were you and the only reason for not having your wedding in Mexico was the needle why wouldn't you just go to a different equally hot, beachy and nice location where you would have your DW and you would avoid having a PPD.

sunshinejenn03

mimiphin said:

Uggg, How in the world did Cash Bars morph in to PPD.

sunshinejenn03
What about Hawaii, Jamaica (cost is $50usd for a license), Cuba, Turks
and Caicos that all don't require a blood test? Why do you "Have to" have it be in Mexico. If I were you and the only reason for not having your wedding in Mexico was the needle why wouldn't you just go to a different equally hot, beachy and nice location where you would have your DW and you would avoid having a PPD.

I looked at a lot of those places. The answers vary. Hawaii costs a lot to get to. The water is nicer in the Caribbean than the Hawaiian islands. And I wanted an all-inclusive for our guests. It had to be something kid-friendly and within a certain price range for my VIPs. That ruled out some places in the Caribbean. That's my short answer.
His birth certificate can also be an issue in many countries.

At the end of the day, we are doing what we can afford.

At least it's going to have a full open bar.

casey8784

PrettyGirlLost said:

TanLines&Wine said:

My wedding is in Hawaii, so if they can afford to come to Hawaii we decided they can afford to spend $50 on drinks at the wedding.

jaimkirk said:

Regional difference DOES exist. And etiquette isn't a list of rules. It's a set of guidelines. Get your heads out of Emily Post's ass.

destinationbride25 said:

omg because 1 person finds them rude in an area means they are banned for eternity

you guys are fucking ridiculous

All the special little snowflakes that just got engaged.  Or else they are just really bad trolls.

if you take a look at all 3 of their pages, they've all only posted on this thread and the one about the MOH getting preggers...and all in agreement with each other....methinks they may be/could be the same person? all too similar to be a coincidence? lol

dramamonkey

I had a friend who had a DW in Tulum, MX two years ago...

Because of your same reasons, she and her husband chose to get legally married the day before they left. All knew, and they celebrate BOTH anniversaries. I was a MOH and saved to be able to go and my boyfriend at the time (now DH) couldn't attend because of finances\helping me pay.

I know some disagree with me on this, but I didn't mind the day before they left. I didn't side-eye it at all.

HOWEVER if she had married more than 9 months before her "Mexican Vacation" (BC it wouldn't be a wedding at that point).......OH FUCK NO.

chibiyui

Now tell me,
Do you have any money?
I wanna spend all your money
At the Cash Bar, Cash bar, Cash bar
Woo

I've got something to charge you
I've got something to bill you
I've got something to sell you
At my Cash Bar, Cash Bar, Cash Bar

You're a superstar,
At My Cash Bar
You're a superstar,
At my Cash Bar
You're a superstar,
At My Cash Bar

dramamonkey

@chibiyui a) that GIF is EVERYTHING b) this is what DH thinks of whenever the term cash bar is mentioned..

Eta for reasons.

mrs4everhart

sunshinejenn03 said:

Yeah, it's called "Weddings: There's Only One Way and It's The Knot's."

Oh no, Sunshinejenn03, if I had only read this garbage so many hours before I would have tried to stop you from wasting precious hours of your life you're never getting back!!! I made that mistake on other threads defending the exact same things you are only to realize it was beneath me to bother. I enjoy swinging by on occassion to read the crap advice that's dispensed and to see if "those that were banned elsewhere" have come by to stir the pot and make me laugh until tears pour down my face (I think they just might have stopped by, which should be epic and pants-pissing hysterical if it becomes a regular occurrence). That said, I'm psyched for both our DW's because they're going to be amazing, the opinions offered on TK be damned! :-)

PrettyGirlLost

STBMrsEverhart said:

sunshinejenn03 said:

Yeah, it's called "Weddings: There's Only One Way and It's The Knot's."

Oh no, Sunshinejenn03, if I had only read this garbage so many hours before I would have tried to stop you from wasting precious hours of your life you're never getting back!!! I made that mistake on other threads defending the exact same things you are only to realize it was beneath me to bother. I enjoy swinging by on occassion to read the crap advice that's dispensed and to see if "those that were banned elsewhere" have come by to stir the pot and make me laugh until tears pour down my face (I think they just might have stopped by, which should be epic and pants-pissing hysterical if it becomes a regular occurrence). That said, I'm psyched for both our DW's because they're going to be amazing, the opinions offered on TK be damned! :-)

People that were banned from WeddingWire and Wedding Bee?  What could they have possibly done on those sites to get banned?

The only "refugees" I have seen on these boards said they were banned for basically refusing to validate bad etiquette things like PPDs, cash bars, dollar dances, treating your WP as unpaid labor, etc.

mrs4everhart

PrettyGirlLost said:

STBMrsEverhart said:

sunshinejenn03 said:

Yeah, it's called "Weddings: There's Only One Way and It's The Knot's."

Oh no, Sunshinejenn03, if I had only read this garbage so many hours before I would have tried to stop you from wasting precious hours of your life you're never getting back!!! I made that mistake on other threads defending the exact same things you are only to realize it was beneath me to bother. I enjoy swinging by on occassion to read the crap advice that's dispensed and to see if "those that were banned elsewhere" have come by to stir the pot and make me laugh until tears pour down my face (I think they just might have stopped by, which should be epic and pants-pissing hysterical if it becomes a regular occurrence). That said, I'm psyched for both our DW's because they're going to be amazing, the opinions offered on TK be damned! :-)

People that were banned from WeddingWire and Wedding Bee?  What could they have possibly done on those sites to get banned?

The only "refugees" I have seen on these boards said they were banned for basically refusing to validate bad etiquette things like PPDs, cash bars, dollar dances, treating your WP as unpaid labor, etc.

WW, not Wedding Bee, I mean these same girls could be banned there too, I don't know, never been over there. It doesn't take much to get banned from WW. And while many of them may disagree with the things you listed above, wholly or in part, it wasn't their disagreement that got them banned. It was their ability to lay out some truth, sometimes in a way that many ended up butt hurt about. There was a multi-week implosion of sorts where a bunch of rather inucuous posts were getting flagged nonstop, people were getting sanctioned, it was stupid as hell. It finally ended up in several girls being banned, as absolutely ridiculous as that sounds. There's one thing I think most adults on any type of internet forum can agree on, most of us can argue, disagree, etc. but calling on a moderator to take down a thread is just basic weaksauce.

sunshinejenn03

STBMrsEverhart said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

STBMrsEverhart said:

sunshinejenn03 said:

Yeah, it's called "Weddings: There's Only One Way and It's The Knot's."

Oh no, Sunshinejenn03, if I had only read this garbage so many hours before I would have tried to stop you from wasting precious hours of your life you're never getting back!!! I made that mistake on other threads defending the exact same things you are only to realize it was beneath me to bother. I enjoy swinging by on occassion to read the crap advice that's dispensed and to see if "those that were banned elsewhere" have come by to stir the pot and make me laugh until tears pour down my face (I think they just might have stopped by, which should be epic and pants-pissing hysterical if it becomes a regular occurrence). That said, I'm psyched for both our DW's because they're going to be amazing, the opinions offered on TK be damned! :-)

People that were banned from WeddingWire and Wedding Bee?  What could they have possibly done on those sites to get banned?

The only "refugees" I have seen on these boards said they were banned for basically refusing to validate bad etiquette things like PPDs, cash bars, dollar dances, treating your WP as unpaid labor, etc.



WW, not Wedding Bee, I mean these same girls could be banned there too, I don't know, never been over there. It doesn't take much to get banned from WW. And while many of them may disagree with the things you listed above, wholly or in part, it wasn't their disagreement that got them banned. It was their ability to lay out some truth, sometimes in a way that many ended up butt hurt about. There was a multi-week implosion of sorts where a bunch of rather inucuous posts were getting flagged nonstop, people were getting sanctioned, it was stupid as hell. It finally ended up in several girls being banned, as absolutely ridiculous as that sounds. There's one thing I think most adults on any type of internet forum can agree on, most of us can argue, disagree, etc. but calling on a moderator to take down a thread is just basic weaksauce.

It all started with the camo. Ugh.

chiualover

If your fiance is concerned about  being "stuck" in Mexico. I am confused why you are still going to that country.  What if he has some kind of accident? That does happen to people on vacation.

So having to get medical care in Mexico must not really be a problem.

sunshinejenn03

chiualover said:

If your fiance is concerned about  being "stuck" in Mexico. I am confused why you are still going to that country.  What if he has some kind of accident? That does happen to people on vacation.

So having to get medical care in Mexico must not really be a problem.

Largely out of my control unless we just decided to never leave the US.  At least I can guarantee he doesn't need to be stuck with a needle this one time.  The chances of something happening to him statistically speaking are slim to none.

FWIW, we actually planned the DW first.  Then decided to legally wed later.  There seem to be a lot of assumptions that people do this to sham their guests and receive "more" gifts.  That's not why we are doing this and we don't care if we receive anything at all.  (In fact, we only registered because I got yelled at by a couple of friends and family for not registering.)  Mexico was planned from the beginning; the civil union was not.  But I'm not about to lose the several thousand dollars we've already spent because a group of people on a wedding board think I'm being tacky and/or rude.

I actually talked to one of my BMs about this today just to gain a different perspective.  I'm open-minded enough to do this.  She's the most honest person I know and takes no issue with telling me when I'm being an insufferable ass.  She agreed that some people (and she made sure to mention largely the older generation) might take issue with what I'm doing (but of course, some of them don't even like that it's a DW - too bad for them). She then went on to say she doesn't "because in the end I know that weddings are just ceremonial anyways."  To her mind, everyone can just go to the JoP.  No one needs a ceremonial wedding.  If you're having one, it's because you want one.  That's good enough for me.

Also, it occurred to me that I signed us up to have a symbolic ceremony, because I didn't want to pay a larger down payment to the resort at that time for the ceremony.  When I later talked to my travel agent (and my Mexican boss), they both said I absolutely needed to JoP it before we left, for many reasons, of which I have already stated.  This is the advice I received, and before you tell me that there is some kind of incentive for my travel agent to push this on us, there isn't.  She makes commission and symbolic ceremonies are the cheapest option.  It benefits her more to push us to legally wed in Mexico, not the other way around.  

I'm sorry you all feel offended by someone random on the internet who never sought out your advice for this in the first place.  But I'm not sorry we are doing what is best for us.  I read some of the comments in the PPD thread on here, and they boggle my mind.  A few of you are even putting yourselves and/or your loved ones at financial and health risk just to say you are legally wed on the same day as your ceremony and I just can't get behind that.  I would never risk my or my S/O's financial & personal health in such a fashion.  You can think I'm "making up" reasons for what we have decided to do and that's fine.  It's still the best decision for us and that is what matters at the end of the day when I pay my bills and lay my head down on my pillow at night.

PrettyGirlLost

STBMrsEverhart said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

STBMrsEverhart said:

Oh no, Sunshinejenn03, if I had only read this garbage so many hours before I would have tried to stop you from wasting precious hours of your life you're never getting back!!! I made that mistake on other threads defending the exact same things you are only to realize it was beneath me to bother. I enjoy swinging by on occassion to read the crap advice that's dispensed and to see if "those that were banned elsewhere" have come by to stir the pot and make me laugh until tears pour down my face (I think they just might have stopped by, which should be epic and pants-pissing hysterical if it becomes a regular occurrence). That said, I'm psyched for both our DW's because they're going to be amazing, the opinions offered on TK be damned! :-)

People that were banned from WeddingWire and Wedding Bee?  What could they have possibly done on those sites to get banned?

The only "refugees" I have seen on these boards said they were banned for basically refusing to validate bad etiquette things like PPDs, cash bars, dollar dances, treating your WP as unpaid labor, etc.

WW, not Wedding Bee, I mean these same girls could be banned there too, I don't know, never been over there. It doesn't take much to get banned from WW. And while many of them may disagree with the things you listed above, wholly or in part, it wasn't their disagreement that got them banned. It was their ability to lay out some truth, sometimes in a way that many ended up butt hurt about. Kinda like here, huh? ;-)  There was a multi-week implosion of sorts where a bunch of rather inucuous posts were getting flagged nonstop, people were getting sanctioned, it was stupid as hell. It finally ended up in several girls being banned, as absolutely ridiculous as that sounds. There's one thing I think most adults on any type of internet forum can agree on, most of us can argue, disagree, etc. but calling on a moderator to take down a thread is just basic weaksauce.  Amen!

sunshinejenn03 said:

WW, not Wedding Bee, I mean these same girls could be banned there too, I don't know, never been over there. It doesn't take much to get banned from WW. And while many of them may disagree with the things you listed above, wholly or in part, it wasn't their disagreement that got them banned. It was their ability to lay out some truth, sometimes in a way that many ended up butt hurt about. There was a multi-week implosion of sorts where a bunch of rather inucuous posts were getting flagged nonstop, people were getting sanctioned, it was stupid as hell. It finally ended up in several girls being banned, as absolutely ridiculous as that sounds. There's one thing I think most adults on any type of internet forum can agree on, most of us can argue, disagree, etc. but calling on a moderator to take down a thread is just basic weaksauce.

It all started with the camo. Ugh.

Huh?  I feel this ought to be good, lol.

mrs4everhart

PrettyGirlLost said:

STBMrsEverhart said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

STBMrsEverhart said:

Oh no, Sunshinejenn03, if I had only read this garbage so many hours before I would have tried to stop you from wasting precious hours of your life you're never getting back!!! I made that mistake on other threads defending the exact same things you are only to realize it was beneath me to bother. I enjoy swinging by on occassion to read the crap advice that's dispensed and to see if "those that were banned elsewhere" have come by to stir the pot and make me laugh until tears pour down my face (I think they just might have stopped by, which should be epic and pants-pissing hysterical if it becomes a regular occurrence). That said, I'm psyched for both our DW's because they're going to be amazing, the opinions offered on TK be damned! :-)

People that were banned from WeddingWire and Wedding Bee?  What could they have possibly done on those sites to get banned?

The only "refugees" I have seen on these boards said they were banned for basically refusing to validate bad etiquette things like PPDs, cash bars, dollar dances, treating your WP as unpaid labor, etc.

WW, not Wedding Bee, I mean these same girls could be banned there too, I don't know, never been over there. It doesn't take much to get banned from WW. And while many of them may disagree with the things you listed above, wholly or in part, it wasn't their disagreement that got them banned. It was their ability to lay out some truth, sometimes in a way that many ended up butt hurt about. Kinda like here, huh? ;-) It was much more comical at the time over there, but similar, yes. I don't see as much butt-hurtedness here, as I do just basic squabbling. Then again, it's possible many squabblers are butt hurt here as well, it just seems moderators let users self-police, which is appreciated on a site that is presumably for adults. There was a multi-week implosion of sorts where a bunch of rather inucuous posts were getting flagged nonstop, people were getting sanctioned, it was stupid as hell. It finally ended up in several girls being banned, as absolutely ridiculous as that sounds. There's one thing I think most adults on any type of internet forum can agree on, most of us can argue, disagree, etc. but calling on a moderator to take down a thread is just basic weaksauce.  Amen!

sunshinejenn03 said:

WW, not Wedding Bee, I mean these same girls could be banned there too, I don't know, never been over there. It doesn't take much to get banned from WW. And while many of them may disagree with the things you listed above, wholly or in part, it wasn't their disagreement that got them banned. It was their ability to lay out some truth, sometimes in a way that many ended up butt hurt about. There was a multi-week implosion of sorts where a bunch of rather inucuous posts were getting flagged nonstop, people were getting sanctioned, it was stupid as hell. It finally ended up in several girls being banned, as absolutely ridiculous as that sounds. There's one thing I think most adults on any type of internet forum can agree on, most of us can argue, disagree, etc. but calling on a moderator to take down a thread is just basic weaksauce.

It all started with the camo. Ugh.

Huh?  I feel this ought to be good, lol.

It was solid no-camo advice and opinions, it just snowballed and people started throwing around flags ridiculously. WW's policies suck, everyone has to sugarcoat to avoid being tattled on, flagged, suspended or banned. I'd rather someone be straight up rude to me than tell me some fake Pollyanna crap so they don't "get in trouble" with an intern working for a wedding website. That's just me I guess.