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What are your etiquette deal breakers?

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Re: What are your etiquette deal breakers?

  • APDSS22APDSS22 member
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    FiancB said:
    Andolisa said:

    I am amazed at the amount of comments about the "deal breakers".

    I think most people seem to forget that the wedding day is not about them (the guests) but about the actual couple getting married... therefore silly or not - their requests  and wishes should at the very least be respected (otherwise what kind of friends are you anyway and why were you invited?)  I would agree that  any "unexpected" demands are inappropriate (i.e. when you turned up to a wedding and are expected to pay for your food and drinks) just like in any other situation. However, with the costs of weddings these days I wouldn't blame my friend if they couldn't invite my SO because they don't know him very well and don't have a huge budget just like I wouldn't blame bride and groom for asking for cash instead of presents because let's face it - do they really need another sauce pan when they've just spent thousands on their big day and may be hardly making the ends meet after the honeymoon? I'd much rather contribute towards their baby fund or honeymoon or give them a gift from their registry because I know that would make them happy... You can always politely decline if you are unable to contribute or can't stand leaving your SO at home... And I would certainly respect traditions, dress codes, garter throwing and whatever else the newlyweds want to do because IT IS THEIR DAY! :-)

     

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    I think this thread reached a critical length where no one coming in now is really expected to read all 28 pages but shit, at least read 1st and last. 

    Again, the wedding is about the couple but that is not an excuse to treat guests like crap at the reception. Why is this so hard to grasp?
    I dunno, they might need to read at least every 3rd page to have the point really sink home since that's about how often the question "what's a PPD?" has come up.
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  • VulgarGirlVulgarGirl member
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    I also find it funny when brides come on here and say "well I have never planned a wedding before so I don't know the rules."  Well I never planned a wedding before either but I have common sense and that common sense told me that I should host my guests properly which involved me paying for everything, not them.

    Oh look, I'm in a box.
    I mentioned it on the sacrifices thread, but when FI and I first got engaged we were 20 and 21 and admittedly very very stupid. We'd planned to have a cash bar. Now because of life circumstances we ended up putting off getting married and now we are older and wiser. But when I told my step mom I was planning a cash bar the first words out of her mouth were "Like hell you are" and I listened to her, because she apparently knew more then I did. So I do not understand the "I don't know any better!!!" as being an excuse to host poorly. If you don't know better, listen to those that do know better. Then do better!
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  • theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas member
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    MagicInk said:
    I also find it funny when brides come on here and say "well I have never planned a wedding before so I don't know the rules."  Well I never planned a wedding before either but I have common sense and that common sense told me that I should host my guests properly which involved me paying for everything, not them.

    Oh look, I'm in a box.
    I mentioned it on the sacrifices thread, but when FI and I first got engaged we were 20 and 21 and admittedly very very stupid. We'd planned to have a cash bar. Now because of life circumstances we ended up putting off getting married and now we are older and wiser. But when I told my step mom I was planning a cash bar the first words out of her mouth were "Like hell you are" and I listened to her, because she apparently knew more then I did. So I do not understand the "I don't know any better!!!" as being an excuse to host poorly. If you don't know better, listen to those that do know better. Then do better!
    PREACH it sista.
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  • cmb08cmb08 member
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    I'm having a cash bar at my wedding.
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
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    claire0820 said:
    I'm having a cash bar at my wedding.
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  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
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    kmmssg said:

    Sweet Baby Jesus - if one more person talks about how expensive weddings are now and how you have to do what you have to do because of money I am going to explode.

    I have planned 6 weddings and I am not a pro planner.  I got married twice and gifted/hosted 4 DD's with their weddings.  First one in 1980 and last one 2014.  IN THIRTY FOUR FREAKING YEARS There has been absolutely no difference in the approaches to any of the weddings.  Everyone of them had proper food for the time of day (all had dinner) 4 weddings served alcohol, 2 were dry.  No one ever opened a wallet at any of our weddings. (I was aiming for red highlighting and it won't let me do anything but green).

    At NO time did money become an issue because we only plan for what we can AFFORD.  Think you can't afford to invite all the SO's?  You are freaking wrong.  Give up your Saturday night dinner/band/dj/alcohol reception and have cake/punch/appetizers in the afternoon.  Then you can afford them.

    Just have to have that Saturday night dinner/band/dj/alcohol reception?  Then put your big girl panties/big boy underroos on and understand that you have to be judicsious with our guest list and you DO have to invite SO's and pay for the alcohol.  Can't afford open bar?  Have beer or wine!  Can't afford beer or wine?  Have a dry wedding. Money tight? Don't have flowers everywhere - especially as centerpieces.

    Put a solid 60% of your budget into your reception from day one.  You HAVE to know how much money you will TRULY have to spend.  THEN   you make the guest list and you leave some room on there for new relationships, forgotten friends/distant relatives.  THEN and ONLY THEN do you choose your venue, and you choose the one that truly fits everyone and your budget, not necessarily your dream.  If you can do both, great!  If you can't, either chop your list and go for the dream venue or find a place that holds everyone comfortably.  If you know how many people and how much you can spend, there is no way, ever, that you should not be able to afford your guests food/drinks/comfort. 

    Regs - I am sorry for the repetative rant but the repetative stupid touched my last nerve on this stuff.  I am about to go out for lunch to celebrate a friend's retirement and I can't even have a glass or twelve of wine because the boss is going too, dammit.

    So Much This!!!!

    The other thing is that if you find your dream venue but can't afford it and don't want to trim your guest list. . . then you have a longer engagement so you can Save More Money towards your dream reception.

    it's not that hard.  You do not have to get married 365 days to the date of your engagement.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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  • APDSS22APDSS22 member
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    claire0820 said:
    I'm having a cash bar at my wedding.
    I'm sorry that you don't care about the guests you're inviting to your wedding.
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  • cmb08cmb08 member
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    edited May 2014

    APDSS22 said:
    claire0820 said:
    I'm having a cash bar at my wedding.
    I'm sorry that you don't care about the guests you're inviting to your wedding.
    It's not a budgeting thing, it's a moral thing. Most people attending don't drink anyway... My friends said they'd rather buy drinks than not have them at all, so I'm doing a cash bar.

    http://assets.diylol.com/hfs/a61/338/0c2/resized/angry-guido-meme-generator-oh-my-god-nobody-cares-000b27.jpg

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  • HisGirlFriday13HisGirlFriday13 member
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    claire0820 said:

    APDSS22 said:
    claire0820 said:
    I'm having a cash bar at my wedding.
    I'm sorry that you don't care about the guests you're inviting to your wedding.
    It's not a budgeting thing, it's a moral thing. Most people attending don't drink anyway... My friends said they'd rather buy drinks than not have them at all, so I'm doing a cash bar.

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    What your friends are really saying is, 'I'd rather have to pay for my alcohol than have to deal with you and your morals about not drinking sober.'

    They're just too nice to say that to your face. But, really, that's what 'I'd rather buy a drink than go to a dry wedding' means.
    Anniversary

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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
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  • cmb08cmb08 member
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    About not drinking sober? Lol
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  • cmb08cmb08 member
    5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited May 2014

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  • cmb08cmb08 member
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    We can all live and let live, right?

    Also, who knew an etiquette discussion could get so rude?
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
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    claire0820 said:
    Oh, look at Miss Smarty Pants! I'm glad to hear you made it through elementary school.
    This comment will not score you any points with those who care about properly hosting their guests and other etiquette.  It makes you look immature.
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  • cmb08cmb08 member
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    Jen4948 said:
    claire0820 said:
    Oh, look at Miss Smarty Pants! I'm glad to hear you made it through elementary school.
    This comment will not score you any points with those who care about properly hosting their guests and other etiquette.  It makes you look immature.
    I am immature.
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  • APDSS22APDSS22 member
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    claire0820 said:
    We can all live and let live, right?

    Also, who knew an etiquette discussion could get so rude?
    Yes, from the one calling names that is a very appropriate "outraged" question.
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  • chibiyuichibiyui member
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    claire0820 said:

    We can all live and let live, right?

    Also, who knew an etiquette discussion could get so rude?

    claire0820 said:


    Jen4948 said:


    claire0820 said:

    Oh, look at Miss Smarty Pants! I'm glad to hear you made it through elementary school.

    This comment will not score you any points with those who care about properly hosting their guests and other etiquette.  It makes you look immature.

    I am immature.


    Trollololololol
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    Anniversary
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  • jdluvr06jdluvr06 member
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    claire0820 said:
    I'm having a cash bar at my wedding.
    Hate it button.

    If you are really against drinking then have a dry wedding. Also kudos to you for admitting that you are immature.
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  • JCbride2015JCbride2015 member
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    claire0820 said:
    Jen4948 said:
    claire0820 said:
    Oh, look at Miss Smarty Pants! I'm glad to hear you made it through elementary school.
    This comment will not score you any points with those who care about properly hosting their guests and other etiquette.  It makes you look immature.
    I am immature.
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    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

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  • cmb08cmb08 member
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    APDSS22 said:
    claire0820 said:
    We can all live and let live, right?

    Also, who knew an etiquette discussion could get so rude?
    Yes, from the one calling names that is a very appropriate "outraged" question.
    Sorry, but I'm confused. When did I call names?
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