Money dance, bridal party forced to do a silly dance routine or to pull random guests into a dance (experienced that one as an MOH. Only knew the bride and her parents, I nearly had a panic attack).
As for tiered weddings: So what if you're invited to the party and not the ceremony? Think about budgets, venue capacity, and etiquette dictating that family is to be on the guest list first. The bride and groom want you to party with them and how many people actually remember the ceremony? Be happy you were invited.
Cash bar? Be glad there's booze and if it ticks you off so much, don't drink. Going for a few drinks over full bar may seem a better choice, but in the end it's not up to you.
And for all we as guests know, some family member may have insisted on a dollar dance or two hour ceremony or long gap and the happy couple agreed to avoid a huge scene.
Be happy you were invited instead of the couples lack of etiquette or tacky choices. No one is forcing you to attend.
(And can we lay off on getting thank you cards immediately? Guests have up to a year after the ceremony to give a gift. The receiver should have a little time to relax after the stress of paying for a wedding before stressing over thank you notes. Give it a month or three instead of a week or two before expecting one and if it takes more than six or seven, then get huffy.)
If you are so stressed over paying for a wedding to be able to write a thank you note you are doing something wrong. Like really wrong.
Heck, if you are that stressed after the wedding I think you are doing something wrong. Sex often relieves stress. Maybe you should be doing more that?
What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests. Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated.
Money dance, bridal party forced to do a silly dance routine or to pull random guests into a dance (experienced that one as an MOH. Only knew the bride and her parents, I nearly had a panic attack).
As for tiered weddings: So what if you're invited to the party and not the ceremony? Think about budgets, venue capacity, and etiquette dictating that family is to be on the guest list first. The bride and groom want you to party with them and how many people actually remember the ceremony? Be happy you were invited.
Cash bar? Be glad there's booze and if it ticks you off so much, don't drink. Going for a few drinks over full bar may seem a better choice, but in the end it's not up to you.
And for all we as guests know, some family member may have insisted on a dollar dance or two hour ceremony or long gap and the happy couple agreed to avoid a huge scene.
Be happy you were invited instead of the couples lack of etiquette or tacky choices. No one is forcing you to attend.
(And can we lay off on getting thank you cards immediately? Guests have up to a year after the ceremony to give a gift. The receiver should have a little time to relax after the stress of paying for a wedding before stressing over thank you notes. Give it a month or three instead of a week or two before expecting one and if it takes more than six or seven, then get huffy.)
Oh yeah, I should be thanking my lucky stars I get to attend such a speshul snowflake event. Thank you for your amazing advice.
Reading some of the comments that his video is receiving... WOW. I can't even... Jeez.
You broke the first rule of Internetting... never read the comments.
Why with the box?
I always forget that rule and read the comments and then go...why the fuck did I read the comments? Its like one of the few life rules I should actually follow.
My fiancé’s
sister is having her first child in June. Their mother is planning the baby's
Christening the day before our wedding since the majority of their out of town
family will be in town for our wedding!!! The worst part is my fiancé’s sister
is also my MOH. I am literally stuck between a rock and a hard place. How do I
speak up and say "NO! This is our wedding! Damn it, nothing else none
wedding related is allowed to go on during this time!" And the worst part
is, his mother keeps throwing wedding etiquette in my face. <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />
Would it be
bad "wedding etiquette" to un-invite the MOG?
My fiancé’s
sister is having her first child in June. Their mother is planning the babies
Christening the day before our wedding since the majority of their out of town
family will be in town for our wedding!!! The worst part is my fiancé’s sister
is also my MOH. I am literally stuck between a rock and a hard place. How do I
speak up and say "NO! This is our wedding! Damn it, nothing else none
wedding related is allowed to go on during this time!" And the worst part
is, his mother keeps throwing wedding etiquette in my face.
Would it be
bad "wedding etiquette" to un-invite the MOG?
YOU DON'T
You get one day...get over it and be happy for people other than yourself.
Seriously? What is wrong with people when you would say 'you can't celebrate the birth of a child that weekend...it's MY day! Everyone has to make two trips so that I can feel more speshul...and for even insinuating that I share the spotlight you should be banished from my wedding!!!!'
My fiancé’s
sister is having her first child in June. Their mother is planning the baby's
Christening the day before our wedding since the majority of their out of town
family will be in town for our wedding!!! The worst part is my fiancé’s sister
is also my MOH. I am literally stuck between a rock and a hard place. How do I
speak up and say "NO! This is our wedding! Damn it, nothing else none
wedding related is allowed to go on during this time!" And the worst part
is, his mother keeps throwing wedding etiquette in my face.
Would it be
bad "wedding etiquette" to un-invite the MOG?
You get the day of. Not the day before or the week leading up to, or even the day after. Day. Of. If it's a scheduling conflicting with a the rehearsal, talk to your FSIL. Otherwise, what's the problem?
Reading some of the comments that his video is receiving... WOW. I can't even... Jeez.
You broke the first rule of Internetting... never read the comments.
I was bored, and thought MAYBE they would be about cash bars being terrible.
That's what I get for being an optimist
Take heart in the fact that at least one of the biggest wedding industry lackeys understands....maybe, just maybe, the rest will follow. But until that day happens, definitely don't read the comments!
Reading some of the comments that his video is receiving... WOW. I can't even... Jeez.
You broke the first rule of Internetting... never read the comments.
I was bored, and thought MAYBE they would be about cash bars being terrible.
That's what I get for being an optimist
Take heart in the fact that at least one of the biggest wedding industry lackeys understands....maybe, just maybe, the rest will follow. But until that day happens, definitely don't read the comments!
Edited to quote...
Oh goodness, I read the comments.
I was really emboldened by the fact that he didn't leave the special snowflakes an out. "No cash bar....ever!" Then pretty much all the comments are "OMG I'm not paying for people to get drunk!!!11!!!!"
You know what I know about people who get shit faced and act like idiots? They'll do it even if they have to pay. So a cash bar is not going to stop creepy uncle Gary from slamming back vodka tonics and then grabbing the ass of your sorority sister. Creepy uncle Gary is going to do that if the bar is opened or cash.
My fiancé’s
sister is having her first child in June. Their mother is planning the baby's
Christening the day before our wedding since the majority of their out of town
family will be in town for our wedding!!! The worst part is my fiancé’s sister
is also my MOH. I am literally stuck between a rock and a hard place. How do I
speak up and say "NO! This is our wedding! Damn it, nothing else none
wedding related is allowed to go on during this time!" And the worst part
is, his mother keeps throwing wedding etiquette in my face. <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />
Would it be
bad "wedding etiquette" to un-invite the MOG?
Forget that, that's just plain rude and fucked up if you do that. Seriously, it's the day before your wedding. Are you really that self absorbed that you're worried about a BABY upstaging you the DAY BEFORE your wedding? Do you expect those who fly in the day before to sit with their thumbs up their asses so they're prepared for your day? You are incredibly out of line with this one.
After 6 years and 2 boys, finally tying the knot on October 27th, 2013!
My fiancé’s
sister is having her first child in June. Their mother is planning the baby's
Christening the day before our wedding since the majority of their out of town
family will be in town for our wedding!!! The worst part is my fiancé’s sister
is also my MOH. I am literally stuck between a rock and a hard place. How do I
speak up and say "NO! This is our wedding! Damn it, nothing else none
wedding related is allowed to go on during this time!" And the worst part
is, his mother keeps throwing wedding etiquette in my face.
Would it be
bad "wedding etiquette" to un-invite the MOG?
Forget that, that's just plain rude and fucked up if you do that. Seriously, it's the day before your wedding. Are you really that self absorbed that you're worried about a BABY upstaging you the DAY BEFORE your wedding? Do you expect those who fly in the day before to sit with their thumbs up their asses so they're prepared for your day? You are incredibly out of line with this one.
You know the next day all they're going to do is talking about that fucking baby and how cute it is and no one will notice her in her SUPER SPECIAL DRESS. On her SUPER SPECIAL DAY.
And how in gods name is a christening wedding related? His sisters child is WAY more important to her than your wedding. Besides, a christening will not affect your wedding in any way shape or form.
After 6 years and 2 boys, finally tying the knot on October 27th, 2013!
My fiancé’s
sister is having her first child in June. Their mother is planning the baby's
Christening the day before our wedding since the majority of their out of town
family will be in town for our wedding!!! The worst part is my fiancé’s sister
is also my MOH. I am literally stuck between a rock and a hard place. How do I
speak up and say "NO! This is our wedding! Damn it, nothing else none
wedding related is allowed to go on during this time!" And the worst part
is, his mother keeps throwing wedding etiquette in my face.
Would it be
bad "wedding etiquette" to un-invite the MOG?
SITB
Seriously? This is your soon to be niece/nephew and you really are going to be like that because some event is happening THE DAY before your wedding? You'd be willing to risk your relationship with your FMIL and possibly your FI's family because of a very important event before your wedding?
My fiancé’s sister is having her first child in June. Their mother is planning the baby's Christening the day before our wedding since the majority of their out of town family will be in town for our wedding!!! The worst part is my fiancé’s sister is also my MOH. I am literally stuck between a rock and a hard place. How do I speak up and say "NO! This is our wedding! Damn it, nothing else none wedding related is allowed to go on during this time!" And the worst part is, his mother keeps throwing wedding etiquette in my face. <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />
Would it be bad "wedding etiquette" to un-invite the MOG?
Please tell me you're a troll and this is MUD.
Otherwise, please tell your FI and his family NOW how selfish you are so your FI can re-evaluate this relationship and maybe find someone who will welcome his family a little more nicely than you're doing.
I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
My fiancé’s
sister is having her first child in June. Their mother is planning the baby's
Christening the day before our wedding since the majority of their out of town
family will be in town for our wedding!!! The worst part is my fiancé’s sister
is also my MOH. I am literally stuck between a rock and a hard place. How do I
speak up and say "NO! This is our wedding! Damn it, nothing else none
wedding related is allowed to go on during this time!" And the worst part
is, his mother keeps throwing wedding etiquette in my face.
Would it be
bad "wedding etiquette" to un-invite the MOG?
She keeps throwing wedding etiquette in your face because you're selfish and need some education.
I cannot believe you would consider uninviting YOUR FIANCE'S MOTHER, a.k.a. YOUR FUTURE MOTHER-IN-LAW.
You know what? Do him and that entire family a favor and remove yourself from this wedding and relationship. He and they deserve better.
My fiancé’s sister is having her first child in June. Their mother is planning the baby's Christening the day before our wedding since the majority of their out of town family will be in town for our wedding!!! The worst part is my fiancé’s sister is also my MOH. I am literally stuck between a rock and a hard place. How do I speak up and say "NO! This is our wedding! Damn it, nothing else none wedding related is allowed to go on during this time!" And the worst part is, his mother keeps throwing wedding etiquette in my face. <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />
Would it be bad "wedding etiquette" to un-invite the MOG?
Wow...I went to a wedding on my birthday and didn't have any if the thoughts you did. Your wedding, their child's Christening. It's not on the same day. Chill. Wanting to tell them all that is so selfish. And you wanted your fiance's sister as your MOH. Be her friend.
Money dance, bridal party forced to do a silly dance routine or to pull random guests into a dance (experienced that one as an MOH. Only knew the bride and her parents, I nearly had a panic attack). As for tiered weddings: So what if you're invited to the party and not the ceremony? Think about budgets, venue capacity, and etiquette dictating that family is to be on the guest list first. The bride and groom want you to party with them and how many people actually remember the ceremony? Be happy you were invited. Cash bar? Be glad there's booze and if it ticks you off so much, don't drink. Going for a few drinks over full bar may seem a better choice, but in the end it's not up to you. And for all we as guests know, some family member may have insisted on a dollar dance or two hour ceremony or long gap and the happy couple agreed to avoid a huge scene. Be happy you were invited instead of the couples lack of etiquette or tacky choices. No one is forcing you to attend. (And can we lay off on getting thank you cards immediately? Guests have up to a year after the ceremony to give a gift. The receiver should have a little time to relax after the stress of paying for a wedding before stressing over thank you notes. Give it a month or three instead of a week or two before expecting one and if it takes more than six or seven, then get huffy.)
If you had read even 1 page you'd see why there are issues with everything you've said, starting with tiered weddings.
Nice username, btw.
I did read page 1. I read every page. And the only issue I see with what I've said is that many people seem easily offended by what they don't like. So explain it to me. Please. If it really is such an issue help me to understand it. And I like my username. My fiancé picked it. He thinks it's cute.
Money dance, bridal party forced to do a silly dance routine or to pull random guests into a dance (experienced that one as an MOH. Only knew the bride and her parents, I nearly had a panic attack). As for tiered weddings: So what if you're invited to the party and not the ceremony? Think about budgets, venue capacity, and etiquette dictating that family is to be on the guest list first. The bride and groom want you to party with them and how many people actually remember the ceremony? Be happy you were invited. Cash bar? Be glad there's booze and if it ticks you off so much, don't drink. Going for a few drinks over full bar may seem a better choice, but in the end it's not up to you. And for all we as guests know, some family member may have insisted on a dollar dance or two hour ceremony or long gap and the happy couple agreed to avoid a huge scene. Be happy you were invited instead of the couples lack of etiquette or tacky choices. No one is forcing you to attend. (And can we lay off on getting thank you cards immediately? Guests have up to a year after the ceremony to give a gift. The receiver should have a little time to relax after the stress of paying for a wedding before stressing over thank you notes. Give it a month or three instead of a week or two before expecting one and if it takes more than six or seven, then get huffy.)
If you had read even 1 page you'd see why there are issues with everything you've said, starting with tiered weddings.
Nice username, btw.
I did read page 1. I read every page. And the only issue I see with what I've said is that many people seem easily offended by what they don't like. So explain it to me. Please. If it really is such an issue help me to understand it. And I like my username. My fiancé picked it. He thinks it's cute.
-------------
He probably only said that because you're truly a monster and he wanted to walk away with his life.
And there's nothing in this entire thread that people are "easily" offended by. They have stated things that are rude and some things that are completely disrespectful.
Money dance, bridal party forced to do a silly dance routine or to pull random guests into a dance (experienced that one as an MOH. Only knew the bride and her parents, I nearly had a panic attack). As for tiered weddings: So what if you're invited to the party and not the ceremony? Think about budgets, venue capacity, and etiquette dictating that family is to be on the guest list first. The bride and groom want you to party with them and how many people actually remember the ceremony? Be happy you were invited. Cash bar? Be glad there's booze and if it ticks you off so much, don't drink. Going for a few drinks over full bar may seem a better choice, but in the end it's not up to you. And for all we as guests know, some family member may have insisted on a dollar dance or two hour ceremony or long gap and the happy couple agreed to avoid a huge scene. Be happy you were invited instead of the couples lack of etiquette or tacky choices. No one is forcing you to attend. (And can we lay off on getting thank you cards immediately? Guests have up to a year after the ceremony to give a gift. The receiver should have a little time to relax after the stress of paying for a wedding before stressing over thank you notes. Give it a month or three instead of a week or two before expecting one and if it takes more than six or seven, then get huffy.)
If you had read even 1 page you'd see why there are issues with everything you've said, starting with tiered weddings.
Nice username, btw.
I did read page 1. I read every page. And the only issue I see with what I've said is that many people seem easily offended by what they don't like. So explain it to me. Please. If it really is such an issue help me to understand it. And I like my username. My fiancé picked it. He thinks it's cute.
-------------
He probably only said that because you're truly a monster and he wanted to walk away with his life.
And there's nothing in this entire thread that people are "easily" offended by. They have stated things that are rude and some things that are completely disrespectful.
Get with the program!
I wasn't being sarcastic when I asked help understanding. And don't be such a bitch insinuating my fiancé is a coward. It's because I do monster makeup.
Money dance, bridal party forced to do a silly dance routine or to pull random guests into a dance (experienced that one as an MOH. Only knew the bride and her parents, I nearly had a panic attack). As for tiered weddings: So what if you're invited to the party and not the ceremony? Think about budgets, venue capacity, and etiquette dictating that family is to be on the guest list first. The bride and groom want you to party with them and how many people actually remember the ceremony? Be happy you were invited. Cash bar? Be glad there's booze and if it ticks you off so much, don't drink. Going for a few drinks over full bar may seem a better choice, but in the end it's not up to you. And for all we as guests know, some family member may have insisted on a dollar dance or two hour ceremony or long gap and the happy couple agreed to avoid a huge scene. Be happy you were invited instead of the couples lack of etiquette or tacky choices. No one is forcing you to attend. (And can we lay off on getting thank you cards immediately? Guests have up to a year after the ceremony to give a gift. The receiver should have a little time to relax after the stress of paying for a wedding before stressing over thank you notes. Give it a month or three instead of a week or two before expecting one and if it takes more than six or seven, then get huffy.)
If you are so stressed over paying for a wedding to be able to write a thank you note you are doing something wrong. Like really wrong.
Heck, if you are that stressed after the wedding I think you are doing something wrong. Sex often relieves stress. Maybe you should be doing more that?
I take it you don't have a lot of stress in your life, but I do. And there are more important things than thank you notes.
Money dance, bridal party forced to do a silly dance routine or to pull random guests into a dance (experienced that one as an MOH. Only knew the bride and her parents, I nearly had a panic attack).
As for tiered weddings: So what if you're invited to the party and not the ceremony? Think about budgets, venue capacity, and etiquette dictating that family is to be on the guest list first. The bride and groom want you to party with them and how many people actually remember the ceremony? Be happy you were invited.
Cash bar? Be glad there's booze and if it ticks you off so much, don't drink. Going for a few drinks over full bar may seem a better choice, but in the end it's not up to you.
And for all we as guests know, some family member may have insisted on a dollar dance or two hour ceremony or long gap and the happy couple agreed to avoid a huge scene.
Be happy you were invited instead of the couples lack of etiquette or tacky choices. No one is forcing you to attend.
(And can we lay off on getting thank you cards immediately? Guests have up to a year after the ceremony to give a gift. The receiver should have a little time to relax after the stress of paying for a wedding before stressing over thank you notes. Give it a month or three instead of a week or two before expecting one and if it takes more than six or seven, then get huffy.)
If you had read even 1 page you'd see why there are issues with everything you've said, starting with tiered weddings.
Nice username, btw.
I did read page 1. I read every page. And the only issue I see with what I've said is that many people seem easily offended by what they don't like. So explain it to me. Please. If it really is such an issue help me to understand it.
And I like my username. My fiancé picked it. He thinks it's cute.
1. Unless they're paying, other people don't get to decide what happens at your wedding. Even those who are paying don't get to demand something rude be done. You decline their money if need me
2. If dollar dances are THAT important culturally there are other ways to go about it. Have guests write down advice, hand out Monopoly money, have them spray confetti over you. But don't charge them to dance with you. That's what strippers do, not brides.
3. Budget is no excuse to be rude towards your guests. Would you invite them to your home and then charge them for alcohol? I sure hope not. How is a wedding any different? Alcohol isn't a necessity. Offer what you can afford. If your guests get pissy that patron isn't on the menu than that's their problem, not yours.
4. Tiered weddings imply you like some people more than others. I believe that that is not the usual intention of the couple but that's how it comes across. There are people we would have liked to invite to our wedding but just didn't have it in our budget. Inviting them after declines or to only a portion of the wedding sends the message that those people were fillers or to get more presents. Again, most likely not the intention and it's fine you personally don't feel that way. But there will be many that do. People understand that budgets don't allow the whole neighborhood.
5. Not sending thank you notes promptly is high up on my rudeness radar, and many others'. Your guests spent their time and money choosing a gift for you and your husband. A thank you note (and you have up to 3 months after receiving said gift though sooner is better) shows that person that you're grateful and you appreciate the thought. Yes, better late than never but it takes less than 1 minute to write a quick note. Even if you had 100 notes to write it would take less than 2 hours. If you split that over a few days (even 10 a day!) they'll be done in no time.
The point is that you should WANT to be as gracious as possible. Sure some people won't care about the etiquette blunders you listed. But many will. Wouldn't you rather know you hosted your guests properly instead of risking offending hose you care most about? The people that bitch about not having a certain liquor are the rude ones. They need a lesson in being gracious themselves. If you can't afford to host everything you want, you postpone and save or start compromising, because at the end if the day being married and knowing your guests had a fabulous time is what matters.
And since you brought it up, I have plenty of stress. I am a recovering heroin addict (7 years clean!) that is trying desperately to finish her treatment. Our 9 month old broke his leg due to a fall I took 4 months before our wedding. We struggle with money and my dh job was a bit shaky. My grandfather is in his mid eighties and we prayed he'd make it to the wedding. I have terrible IBS and debilitating anxiety. I was terrified I'd have an attack the morning of. We all have stress. If you don't have time to write thank yous due to it than I'd reconsider a wedding and the stress that would cause.
After 6 years and 2 boys, finally tying the knot on October 27th, 2013!
I will never understand how people can be so selfish as to completely IGNORE the way other people view them...
It's important to me that my friends and family see me as a good person, and taking care of their needs at an event I'm hosting - plus saying Thank You is the least I can do.
Money dance, bridal party forced to do a silly dance routine or to pull random guests into a dance (experienced that one as an MOH. Only knew the bride and her parents, I nearly had a panic attack).
As for tiered weddings: So what if you're invited to the party and not the ceremony? Think about budgets, venue capacity, and etiquette dictating that family is to be on the guest list first. The bride and groom want you to party with them and how many people actually remember the ceremony? Be happy you were invited.
Cash bar? Be glad there's booze and if it ticks you off so much, don't drink. Going for a few drinks over full bar may seem a better choice, but in the end it's not up to you.
And for all we as guests know, some family member may have insisted on a dollar dance or two hour ceremony or long gap and the happy couple agreed to avoid a huge scene.
Be happy you were invited instead of the couples lack of etiquette or tacky choices. No one is forcing you to attend.
(And can we lay off on getting thank you cards immediately? Guests have up to a year after the ceremony to give a gift. The receiver should have a little time to relax after the stress of paying for a wedding before stressing over thank you notes. Give it a month or three instead of a week or two before expecting one and if it takes more than six or seven, then get huffy.)
If you are so stressed over paying for a wedding to be able to write a thank you note you are doing something wrong. Like really wrong.
Heck, if you are that stressed after the wedding I think you are doing something wrong. Sex often relieves stress. Maybe you should be doing more that?
I take it you don't have a lot of stress in your life, but I do.
And there are more important things than thank you notes.
If you have time to register for gifts, and time to open gifts, you have time to write a thank you note. Seriously, it takes next to no time- way less time than what the giver spent giving it to you, and the amount of work it took them to afford to give that gift to you. It's the least you can do.
No one expects a TY note the very next day. Of course you've got a HM to go on the next day and all that but when you get back thank you's should absolutely be priority #1. Why in the love of all that is holy wouldn't it be???
Money dance, bridal party forced to do a silly dance routine or to pull random guests into a dance (experienced that one as an MOH. Only knew the bride and her parents, I nearly had a panic attack).
As for tiered weddings: So what if you're invited to the party and not the ceremony? Think about budgets, venue capacity, and etiquette dictating that family is to be on the guest list first. The bride and groom want you to party with them and how many people actually remember the ceremony? Be happy you were invited.
Cash bar? Be glad there's booze and if it ticks you off so much, don't drink. Going for a few drinks over full bar may seem a better choice, but in the end it's not up to you.
And for all we as guests know, some family member may have insisted on a dollar dance or two hour ceremony or long gap and the happy couple agreed to avoid a huge scene.
Be happy you were invited instead of the couples lack of etiquette or tacky choices. No one is forcing you to attend.
(And can we lay off on getting thank you cards immediately? Guests have up to a year after the ceremony to give a gift. The receiver should have a little time to relax after the stress of paying for a wedding before stressing over thank you notes. Give it a month or three instead of a week or two before expecting one and if it takes more than six or seven, then get huffy.)
If you are so stressed over paying for a wedding to be able to write a thank you note you are doing something wrong. Like really wrong.
Heck, if you are that stressed after the wedding I think you are doing something wrong. Sex often relieves stress. Maybe you should be doing more that?
I take it you don't have a lot of stress in your life, but I do.
And there are more important things than thank you notes.
There are more important things than thank you notes. If you're secretly the superhero who makes sure flying space junk doesn't hit populated parts of the Earth and kill the unsuspecting humans below, thank you. Saving lives is certainly more important than writing thank you notes. But there aren't that many things that are universally appreciated as much as someone taking the time to properly thank their friends and family for their lovely gifts and of those things, very few take as little time as the writing of a genuine and lovely thank you note. I don't think it reflects well on a person when they try to justify not writing thank you notes. Why not just be awesome?
You buy a box of them at Target or wherever, buy a book of stamps and throw a couple of pens next to them. When you're watching tv and the commercials break in, write a thank you note. If you write a thank you note for every time a commercial plays (not even the show you're watching, just the commercials) you'll be done in no time. Drop those puppies in the mail and you've just made yourself look awesome. All while ignoring commercials. Win-win. If you don't watch tv or use tivo to skip through the commercials, just write a thank you note while you're waiting for the oven to preheat when you're cooking dinner or a couple while you're waiting for the shower at night. If you've got mad skills and a large enough purse, you could even write them in line at the grocery store. If you write the ones for gifts received ahead of the wedding as the gifts come in, you save yourself from looking at a huge pile later as well. Just chomp it down a little at a time and everyone wins.
Re: What are your etiquette deal breakers?
Oh yeah, I should be thanking my lucky stars I get to attend such a speshul snowflake event. Thank you for your amazing advice.
Wisdom from David Tutera....http://www.bridalguide.com/planning/david-tuteras-weddings/david-tutera-open-bar-cash-bar
My fiancé’s sister is having her first child in June. Their mother is planning the baby's Christening the day before our wedding since the majority of their out of town family will be in town for our wedding!!! The worst part is my fiancé’s sister is also my MOH. I am literally stuck between a rock and a hard place. How do I speak up and say "NO! This is our wedding! Damn it, nothing else none wedding related is allowed to go on during this time!" And the worst part is, his mother keeps throwing wedding etiquette in my face. <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />
Would it be bad "wedding etiquette" to un-invite the MOG?
Take heart in the fact that at least one of the biggest wedding industry lackeys understands....maybe, just maybe, the rest will follow. But until that day happens, definitely don't read the comments!
Edited to quote...
I was really emboldened by the fact that he didn't leave the special snowflakes an out. "No cash bar....ever!" Then pretty much all the comments are "OMG I'm not paying for people to get drunk!!!11!!!!"
*bangs head on keyboard*
Forget that, that's just plain rude and fucked up if you do that. Seriously, it's the day before your wedding. Are you really that self absorbed that you're worried about a BABY upstaging you the DAY BEFORE your wedding? Do you expect those who fly in the day before to sit with their thumbs up their asses so they're prepared for your day? You are incredibly out of line with this one.
After 6 years and 2 boys, finally tying the knot on October 27th, 2013!
After 6 years and 2 boys, finally tying the knot on October 27th, 2013!
Otherwise, please tell your FI and his family NOW how selfish you are so your FI can re-evaluate this relationship and maybe find someone who will welcome his family a little more nicely than you're doing.
Your wedding, their child's Christening. It's not on the same day. Chill. Wanting to tell them all that is so selfish.
And you wanted your fiance's sister as your MOH. Be her friend.
If you had read even 1 page you'd see why there are issues with everything you've said, starting with tiered weddings.
Nice username, btw.
I did read page 1. I read every page. And the only issue I see with what I've said is that many people seem easily offended by what they don't like. So explain it to me. Please. If it really is such an issue help me to understand it.
And I like my username. My fiancé picked it. He thinks it's cute.
And I like my username. My fiancé picked it. He thinks it's cute.
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He probably only said that because you're truly a monster and he wanted to walk away with his life.
And there's nothing in this entire thread that people are "easily" offended by. They have stated things that are rude and some things that are completely disrespectful.
Get with the program!
He probably only said that because you're truly a monster and he wanted to walk away with his life.
And there's nothing in this entire thread that people are "easily" offended by. They have stated things that are rude and some things that are completely disrespectful.
Get with the program!
I wasn't being sarcastic when I asked help understanding.
And don't be such a bitch insinuating my fiancé is a coward. It's because I do monster makeup.
I take it you don't have a lot of stress in your life, but I do.
And there are more important things than thank you notes.
1. Unless they're paying, other people don't get to decide what happens at your wedding. Even those who are paying don't get to demand something rude be done. You decline their money if need me
2. If dollar dances are THAT important culturally there are other ways to go about it. Have guests write down advice, hand out Monopoly money, have them spray confetti over you. But don't charge them to dance with you. That's what strippers do, not brides.
3. Budget is no excuse to be rude towards your guests. Would you invite them to your home and then charge them for alcohol? I sure hope not. How is a wedding any different? Alcohol isn't a necessity. Offer what you can afford. If your guests get pissy that patron isn't on the menu than that's their problem, not yours.
4. Tiered weddings imply you like some people more than others. I believe that that is not the usual intention of the couple but that's how it comes across. There are people we would have liked to invite to our wedding but just didn't have it in our budget. Inviting them after declines or to only a portion of the wedding sends the message that those people were fillers or to get more presents. Again, most likely not the intention and it's fine you personally don't feel that way. But there will be many that do. People understand that budgets don't allow the whole neighborhood.
5. Not sending thank you notes promptly is high up on my rudeness radar, and many others'. Your guests spent their time and money choosing a gift for you and your husband. A thank you note (and you have up to 3 months after receiving said gift though sooner is better) shows that person that you're grateful and you appreciate the thought. Yes, better late than never but it takes less than 1 minute to write a quick note. Even if you had 100 notes to write it would take less than 2 hours. If you split that over a few days (even 10 a day!) they'll be done in no time.
The point is that you should WANT to be as gracious as possible. Sure some people won't care about the etiquette blunders you listed. But many will. Wouldn't you rather know you hosted your guests properly instead of risking offending hose you care most about? The people that bitch about not having a certain liquor are the rude ones. They need a lesson in being gracious themselves. If you can't afford to host everything you want, you postpone and save or start compromising, because at the end if the day being married and knowing your guests had a fabulous time is what matters. And since you brought it up, I have plenty of stress. I am a recovering heroin addict (7 years clean!) that is trying desperately to finish her treatment. Our 9 month old broke his leg due to a fall I took 4 months before our wedding. We struggle with money and my dh job was a bit shaky. My grandfather is in his mid eighties and we prayed he'd make it to the wedding. I have terrible IBS and debilitating anxiety. I was terrified I'd have an attack the morning of. We all have stress. If you don't have time to write thank yous due to it than I'd reconsider a wedding and the stress that would cause.
After 6 years and 2 boys, finally tying the knot on October 27th, 2013!
You buy a box of them at Target or wherever, buy a book of stamps and throw a couple of pens next to them. When you're watching tv and the commercials break in, write a thank you note. If you write a thank you note for every time a commercial plays (not even the show you're watching, just the commercials) you'll be done in no time. Drop those puppies in the mail and you've just made yourself look awesome. All while ignoring commercials. Win-win. If you don't watch tv or use tivo to skip through the commercials, just write a thank you note while you're waiting for the oven to preheat when you're cooking dinner or a couple while you're waiting for the shower at night. If you've got mad skills and a large enough purse, you could even write them in line at the grocery store. If you write the ones for gifts received ahead of the wedding as the gifts come in, you save yourself from looking at a huge pile later as well. Just chomp it down a little at a time and everyone wins.
ETA: Missing punctuation.