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What do you do if you hate the engagement ring?

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Re: What do you do if you hate the engagement ring?

  • VulgarGirlVulgarGirl Desert Oasis member
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    littlepep said:

    I think I said it in PP but I feel like the answer to "Will you marry me?" should be long decided before the proposal takes place.   Maybe it's because my hubby is a very typical practical engineer type that he actually said after the fact that he wasn't going to ask until HE was ready to actually be married and that the proposal was more a formality than some big secret.   Because seriously - we're going to spend the rest of our lives together but only half of us is aware that this is a thing?   The entire concept is a bit insulting to me.   DH wouldn't buy a car without my input (and he's THE CAR MAN) so why wouldn't we be planning the rest of our lives as a couple?   The day he took me out and popped the question was fantastic but I certainly knew that it would happen sometime around then.


    And my answer had ZERO to do with the kind of ring that he picked and everything to do with knowing that he is the man I am bonded to for life.   
    The bolded is my thought. An engagement ring is a huge purchase. It should be something you both discuss. 

    An engagement ring might be a huge purchase. I got 2 for $30. I mean, I spend more on shoes. I've spent more on lunch!
    ashley8918PrettyGirlLost
  • ChemFanatic25ChemFanatic25 member
    500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 500 Comments Name Dropper
    edited March 2015
    F*ck, screwed up. One moment. I had a response and decided to just jump in on the balls thing. I actually LOVE my boyfriend's junk and I love the patch of fur he has :-D Like I love the way it looks and everything. Whew! Give me some lovin'. 

    Besides that all other balls are gross. Nastiness - boobies campaign for everyone else except my bf. I'll take his balls any day.

    I just wrote a huge long post about how I never felt entitled to a ring and then I thought "Nope, fuck it. It's getting way too heavy in here." 


    So I'm just gonna say that I think balls are ugly. I'd rather look at a set of boobs than a pair of balls any day. 
    A-fucking-men. Titties all day.

    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    madamerwin
  • VulgarGirlVulgarGirl Desert Oasis member
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    @Dreamergirl8812 (why'd I call you december girl? do we even have a decemeber girl?), well yes. At the point it's asked the second time (hey the first time try to get away with it), I'd say be honest. In the nicest way possible be honest. Like so nice. Nicer then you've ever niced in your entire life.
  • Dreamergirl8812Dreamergirl8812 your closet member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    MagicInk said:

    @Dreamergirl8812 (why'd I call you december girl? do we even have a decemeber girl?), well yes. At the point it's asked the second time (hey the first time try to get away with it), I'd say be honest. In the nicest way possible be honest. Like so nice. Nicer then you've ever niced in your entire life.

    Agreed. Also agreed on the December thing. I am so tempted to finish this with an obnoxious smiley face. Teeheehee.



    Anniversary
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  • ashley8918ashley8918 Chicago Suburbs member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer

    banana468 said:

    And for those who think that this is very materialistic, do you not insure your things of value?? 

    Stop using logic, YOU'RE MISSING THE FUCKING POINT!! Whooooooosh....
    How is insuring things of value related to being excessively concerned with the way your ring looks? 



    Somebody is feeling extra ornery today.


  • littlepeplittlepep South Carolina member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    edited March 2015
    MagicInk said:

    littlepep said:

    I think I said it in PP but I feel like the answer to "Will you marry me?" should be long decided before the proposal takes place.   Maybe it's because my hubby is a very typical practical engineer type that he actually said after the fact that he wasn't going to ask until HE was ready to actually be married and that the proposal was more a formality than some big secret.   Because seriously - we're going to spend the rest of our lives together but only half of us is aware that this is a thing?   The entire concept is a bit insulting to me.   DH wouldn't buy a car without my input (and he's THE CAR MAN) so why wouldn't we be planning the rest of our lives as a couple?   The day he took me out and popped the question was fantastic but I certainly knew that it would happen sometime around then.


    And my answer had ZERO to do with the kind of ring that he picked and everything to do with knowing that he is the man I am bonded to for life.   
    The bolded is my thought. An engagement ring is a huge purchase. It should be something you both discuss. 
    An engagement ring might be a huge purchase. I got 2 for $30. I mean, I spend more on shoes. I've spent more on lunch!----------------------------- ETA: boxes, ugh.

    That's a fair point. I actually told my FI he didn't have to buy a diamond because I have a decent size student loan, but he wanted to buy one. I would have married my fiance with a rubber band to be honest. I guess I feel like if you are going to spend that much money it should be a mutual conversation. You're joining lives and money should be something you discuss. 
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  • MagicInk said:

    audrewuh said:

    MagicInk said:

    @plainjane0415 (looks like the boxes got wonky not gonna try), honestly I wouldn't have cared. I mean, the rings we have we wore as engagement rings and now wear as wedding bands. But had I gone a more traditional route and she had a different wedding band and was like "I'm not gonna wear my engagement ring everyday" wouldn't have bugged me at all.


    My mom and both step-moms don't wear engagement rings. I know a lot of women who don't wear their engagement rings post-wedding. For any number of reasons. So it wouldn't have even been a blip on my radar. 

    If I had a big blingy ring, I probably wouldn't wear it everyday because of my job. I'd be taking it off all the time to get gloves on so I'd say fuck it and leave it home. But my flat band would fit nicely under the gloves (I know cause my flat band does). 

    ETA: Also if she had said "Sorry hunny, try again", we probably wouldn't have gotten married cause I wouldn't want a girl like that.




    I don't blame you! I wouldn't want to marry someone like that either. :)

     

     

     

     

    I wouldn't want to marry anyone who spelled "honey" as if they were 14 either. 
    Really? Really? Wow.

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    "You're our early 20's BSC scarecrow. They cower at your maturity." - lennonkdc Anniversary
  • ashley8918ashley8918 Chicago Suburbs member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    edited March 2015
    chibiyui said:

    chibiyui said:

    @photokitty (and others?)


    Apparently we can't truncate quotes on out own without fucking shit up any more? Annoying. Anyway...

    DISCLAIMER (which my phone just autocorrected to DICKCLAIMER... wut): All "yous" are general "yous" not YOU "yous".
    image

    The point is, feeling entitled to a "pretty ring" (whatever your definition of that may be) is no better that feeling entitled to an expensive ring... or a vacation, or a big fancy wedding, etc. It's just as shallow, just for a different reason and I think it is awful to hurt someone's feelings over something so shallow.

    I 1000% don't advocate lying about liking it, and never did. But bringing up your dislike of the ring out of the blue only serves to hurt feelings and feed your materialistic desire for something pretty. Which is SOOOO incredibly contrary to what TK as a whole is always preaching to brides who want a honey fund because they are entitled to a honeymoon that they cant afford, or a fancier wedding, or whatever.

    ETA: Materialism isn't only related to cost.
    It's entitlement to talk to your partner about why you don't like a ring? 
    To not accept a ring that they got you, and need (i.e. feel entitled) to have a better (again, not talking about cash here) one? 

    Nope, totally not at all.
    So, my earlier posts skewed "hopefully she gets a new ring" But I did have a post where they should talk about it like a couple and decide from there, which does not equate to "Buy me a new fucking ring" Maybe she saves up money and buys her own fucking ring, but talks about it with him first because to stop wearing it and wear another ring without telling him would be rude. 



    _________________________________________________________



    Oh, yeah, just to be clear I was not one of the people advocating anything like this.
    chibiyui
  • ashley8918ashley8918 Chicago Suburbs member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    audrewuh said:

    MagicInk said:

    audrewuh said:

    MagicInk said:

    @plainjane0415 (looks like the boxes got wonky not gonna try), honestly I wouldn't have cared. I mean, the rings we have we wore as engagement rings and now wear as wedding bands. But had I gone a more traditional route and she had a different wedding band and was like "I'm not gonna wear my engagement ring everyday" wouldn't have bugged me at all.


    My mom and both step-moms don't wear engagement rings. I know a lot of women who don't wear their engagement rings post-wedding. For any number of reasons. So it wouldn't have even been a blip on my radar. 

    If I had a big blingy ring, I probably wouldn't wear it everyday because of my job. I'd be taking it off all the time to get gloves on so I'd say fuck it and leave it home. But my flat band would fit nicely under the gloves (I know cause my flat band does). 

    ETA: Also if she had said "Sorry hunny, try again", we probably wouldn't have gotten married cause I wouldn't want a girl like that.




    I don't blame you! I wouldn't want to marry someone like that either. :)

     

     

     

     

    I wouldn't want to marry anyone who spelled "honey" as if they were 14 either. 
    Really? Really? Wow.

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    What the fuck are you talking about?

    image
    VulgarGirlemmaaamaeday2
  • littlepeplittlepep South Carolina member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer

    @photokitty (and others?)


    Apparently we can't truncate quotes on out own without fucking shit up any more? Annoying. Anyway...

    DISCLAIMER (which my phone just autocorrected to DICKCLAIMER... wut): All "yous" are general "yous" not YOU "yous".
    image

    The point is, feeling entitled to a "pretty ring" (whatever your definition of that may be) is no better that feeling entitled to an expensive ring... or a vacation, or a big fancy wedding, etc. It's just as shallow, just for a different reason and I think it is awful to hurt someone's feelings over something so shallow.

    I 1000% don't advocate lying about liking it, and never did. But bringing up your dislike of the ring out of the blue only serves to hurt feelings and feed your materialistic desire for something pretty. Which is SOOOO incredibly contrary to what TK as a whole is always preaching to brides who want a honey fund because they are entitled to a honeymoon that they cant afford, or a fancier wedding, or whatever.

    ETA: Materialism isn't only related to cost.
    DICKCLAIMER.


    That is all.
    I THOUGHT WE WERE TALKING ABOUT BALLS!?
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    ashley8918theartistformerlyknownasKatieinBkln
  • ashley8918ashley8918 Chicago Suburbs member
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    amelisha said:

    The reason I originally used the word "materialistic" has nothing to do with the cash value of the jewelry.


    It's just...I would never hurt my FI's feelings over a thing of any kind. It's not worth it to me. Regardless of whether I wanted a less expensive or a more expensive or a different metal or a different style or whatever...it's just a hunk of metal at the end of the day and it's not worth making him feel bad over, to me personally.

    I would rather wear something I didn't like every single day for the rest of my life than make him feel bad, like he did a bad job of something considered as major as an engagement ring. It's just not worth it for me.

    This is just for me personally, but this why I feel like it's somewhat materialistic to want something different (even if it's cheaper.) But, again...that's just me, and I have this whole thing about accepting things into my life with a certain attitude whether that be actual things or intangible ones.

    Sorry. I don't mean to offend anyone, honestly, but I don't regret using that word when I used it and I still do think a lot of these responses seem more concerned with the horror of having to wear "ugly" jewelry than I would have anticipated from a normally very reasonable group of women.

    Welp, you are better at words than I am, obvisouly. All of this.
  • ashley8918ashley8918 Chicago Suburbs member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    littlepep said:

    @photokitty (and others?)


    Apparently we can't truncate quotes on out own without fucking shit up any more? Annoying. Anyway...

    DISCLAIMER (which my phone just autocorrected to DICKCLAIMER... wut): All "yous" are general "yous" not YOU "yous".
    image

    The point is, feeling entitled to a "pretty ring" (whatever your definition of that may be) is no better that feeling entitled to an expensive ring... or a vacation, or a big fancy wedding, etc. It's just as shallow, just for a different reason and I think it is awful to hurt someone's feelings over something so shallow.

    I 1000% don't advocate lying about liking it, and never did. But bringing up your dislike of the ring out of the blue only serves to hurt feelings and feed your materialistic desire for something pretty. Which is SOOOO incredibly contrary to what TK as a whole is always preaching to brides who want a honey fund because they are entitled to a honeymoon that they cant afford, or a fancier wedding, or whatever.

    ETA: Materialism isn't only related to cost.
    DICKCLAIMER.


    That is all.
    I THOUGHT WE WERE TALKING ABOUT BALLS!?
    DICKS AND BALLS. AND BOOBS.
    littlepep
  • VulgarGirlVulgarGirl Desert Oasis member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    audrewuh said:

    MagicInk said:

    audrewuh said:

    MagicInk said:

    @plainjane0415 (looks like the boxes got wonky not gonna try), honestly I wouldn't have cared. I mean, the rings we have we wore as engagement rings and now wear as wedding bands. But had I gone a more traditional route and she had a different wedding band and was like "I'm not gonna wear my engagement ring everyday" wouldn't have bugged me at all.


    My mom and both step-moms don't wear engagement rings. I know a lot of women who don't wear their engagement rings post-wedding. For any number of reasons. So it wouldn't have even been a blip on my radar. 

    If I had a big blingy ring, I probably wouldn't wear it everyday because of my job. I'd be taking it off all the time to get gloves on so I'd say fuck it and leave it home. But my flat band would fit nicely under the gloves (I know cause my flat band does). 

    ETA: Also if she had said "Sorry hunny, try again", we probably wouldn't have gotten married cause I wouldn't want a girl like that.




    I don't blame you! I wouldn't want to marry someone like that either. :)

     

     

     

     

    I wouldn't want to marry anyone who spelled "honey" as if they were 14 either. 
    Really? Really? Wow.

    image
    image
    Oh it does. It really really does. Cause I can't say what I think without getting banned. And I'm not gonna deprive these lovely ladies of my presense cause of one...well see below.

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    ashley8918maeday2
  • littlepeplittlepep South Carolina member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer

    littlepep said:

    I think I said it in PP but I feel like the answer to "Will you marry me?" should be long decided before the proposal takes place.   Maybe it's because my hubby is a very typical practical engineer type that he actually said after the fact that he wasn't going to ask until HE was ready to actually be married and that the proposal was more a formality than some big secret.   Because seriously - we're going to spend the rest of our lives together but only half of us is aware that this is a thing?   The entire concept is a bit insulting to me.   DH wouldn't buy a car without my input (and he's THE CAR MAN) so why wouldn't we be planning the rest of our lives as a couple?   The day he took me out and popped the question was fantastic but I certainly knew that it would happen sometime around then.


    And my answer had ZERO to do with the kind of ring that he picked and everything to do with knowing that he is the man I am bonded to for life.   
    The bolded is my thought. An engagement ring is a huge purchase. It should be something you both discuss. 
    I skipped some posts but why the hell is this quote attributed to me? I did not write this. Get it together, TK!

    Boxes are all jacked up. 
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  • ashley8918ashley8918 Chicago Suburbs member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    I've had enough of this circle jerk.


    So, about those balls.
  • audrewuhaudrewuh member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited March 2015
    Kahlyla said:

    Guys, it's killing me, please - what does the Hydrogen Peroxide mean?!

    It means she appreciates the bubbly and healing properties of my personality. 
    --------------------------------------------------------------


     
    "You're our early 20's BSC scarecrow. They cower at your maturity." - lennonkdc Anniversary
  • Favorite nickname for balls. GO!

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    ashley8918
  • VulgarGirlVulgarGirl Desert Oasis member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    audrewuh said:

    Kahlyla said:

    Guys, it's killing me, please - what does the Hydrogen Peroxide mean?!

    It means she appreciates the bubbly and healing properties of my personality. 
    image
    ashley8918ChemFanatic25
  • VulgarGirlVulgarGirl Desert Oasis member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper

    Favorite nickname for balls. GO!

    Can we do vag nicknames? I'm better at that game.
    ashley8918[Deleted User]
  • MagicInk said:

    Favorite nickname for balls. GO!

    Can we do vag nicknames? I'm better at that game.
    Sure! All the fun bits!

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    themuffinman16
  • VulgarGirlVulgarGirl Desert Oasis member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Twat, pussy, cunt, fun box, lunch box, vag, muff, beaver...I shall think more about this.
    ashley8918
  • VulgarGirlVulgarGirl Desert Oasis member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Muffin, cookie...
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