Snarky Brides

AYG - Confessions - I Judge

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Re: AYG - Confessions - I Judge

  • CellesCelles member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited May 2011
    Confession: I skipped my little brother's high school graduation last night. It was about an hour away and I would have had to leave work early to make it on time, which I wasn't entirely comfortable doing after taking so much PTO for the wedding and honeymoon and road trip down to Phoenix from Calgary. Plus, we're not that close: he's actually my birth mother's foster son, so there is no blood or legal relationship  between us and we have never actually lived together. I like him a lot -- he's a good kid! -- but I just didn't feel up to rushing home from work to pick up H and then driving an hour each way on a work night.

    I feel horribly guilty about it, though.
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  • mica178mica178 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    I <3 Mel stories.
  • I also flame my douchetastic governor for making a big display of signing this inane bill, which will cost the state lots of money to enforce, as a diversionary tactic because what REALLY needs to be done is to pass the state budget and fund education. In texas, literally hundreds of thousands of educators and state employees will lose their jobs if something isn't done about the budget shortfall. These people have been on pins and needles for months, waiting for the leg. to pass something, and nothing has been done. 
    A dear friend of mine is planning a wedding for October but is hesitant to put down too many deposits because she has no idea if she'll have a job next week, next month, etc. 
    So I flame Rick Perry, his horrible hair, and is obvious lack of care for children (and their taxpaying parents) who are already born:

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  • Wrkn925Wrkn925 member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-confessions-judge?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:a03b4c19-8e6c-4972-bd3f-a1acff6a228fPost:2ee41530-5324-4c7a-a945-e77712c9f18c">Re: AYG - Confessions - I Judge</a>:
    [QUOTE]Confession: I skipped my little brother's high school graduation last night. It was about an hour away and I would have had to leave work early to make it on time, which I wasn't entirely comfortable doing after taking so much PTO for the wedding and honeymoon and road trip down to Phoenix from Calgary. Plus, we're not that close: he's actually my birth mother's foster son, so there is no blood or legal relationship  between us and we have never actually lived together. I like him a lot -- he's a good kid! -- but I just didn't feel up to rushing home from work to pick up H and then driving an hour each way on a work night. I feel horribly guilty about it, though.
    Posted by Celles[/QUOTE]

    Send him a card, you'll be fine.
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  • *bitchslaps Blue's uterus*

    Get into shape, damn it.
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  • I'm sorry Celles. Did you explain to him the difficulty in getting down there from work? Given that you have a good but not super close relationship, chances are he'll understand and not feel that it's a huge rejection. You could send him a sweet congrats card or something as well. :)



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    Taco cat: Always a palindrome. ALWAYS, okay J&K?

    "cool......insult my size 2 body or my natural brown hair...or the fact that my parents own a country club, I have no budget for a wedding, and I have horses. I really dont care. Its better then having roots." ~ futurepivko
  • CellesCelles member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-confessions-judge?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:a03b4c19-8e6c-4972-bd3f-a1acff6a228fPost:71b8800f-9b2d-42c2-8122-f46780e00769">Re: AYG - Confessions - I Judge</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: AYG - Confessions - I Judge : Send him a card, you'll be fine.
    Posted by Wrkn925[/QUOTE]

    We're going to the family party on Saturday. :)
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-confessions-judge?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:a03b4c19-8e6c-4972-bd3f-a1acff6a228fPost:5f0436dc-8bbe-4da1-bdc2-f49886af6306">Re: AYG - Confessions - I Judge</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: AYG - Confessions - I Judge : Sara, sometimes, those words need to be heard. And if you feel like you need to, offer an apology, but still give her the same words in a different delivery. I mean, she needs to respect you, as well. Tell her she's worth more than "one nights" or randos etc. and <strong>she needs to find someone who will recognize her true value for what it is.
    </strong>Posted by missy68[/QUOTE]

    Thanks Missy, this is exactly what I told her. I'm just worried about her. She's taking it SO hard, and I'm there for her, always, but I wish there was something more I could do. I've told her she is worth more than being lied to, and getting hurt. Sadly, I don't know that she fully believes she is. It kind of sucks, and I hope things get better for her soon. She needs to learn to let go of stuff.
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  • bltatabltata member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-confessions-judge?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:a03b4c19-8e6c-4972-bd3f-a1acff6a228fPost:2ee41530-5324-4c7a-a945-e77712c9f18c">Re: AYG - Confessions - I Judge</a>:
    [QUOTE]Confession: I skipped my little brother's high school graduation last night. It was about an hour away and I would have had to leave work early to make it on time, which I wasn't entirely comfortable doing after taking so much PTO for the wedding and honeymoon and road trip down to Phoenix from Calgary. Plus, we're not that close: he's actually my birth mother's foster son, so there is no blood or legal relationship  between us and we have never actually lived together. I like him a lot -- he's a good kid! -- but I just didn't feel up to rushing home from work to pick up H and then driving an hour each way on a work night. I feel horribly guilty about it, though.
    Posted by Celles[/QUOTE]

    I agree with the other ladies.  You'll be fine.  Explain to him that it was difficult because of work and maybe you can take him out to dinner next time you see him?
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  • ugh sarah, i heard about that bill and it angers me more than words can say. for so so many reasons.
    5/27/12
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  • MandK9MandK9 member
    First Comment
    I future-judge myself for giving what I know will be an absolutely horribly executed speech for my cousin's wedding on Saturday.  MOH fail.  

    I. Hate. Public. Speaking.


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  • Go ahead and flame, I'm the one who brought up the IUD thread. It just seems like this is brought up constantly anymore. And just like the wedding questions that are asked over and over, if you do a search you can find the answers you want.

    I dont think it needs it's own thread, every other day. Just my thoughts.

    And why is it ok for Cew to get excused from not wanting to hear it ,but no one else can have an opinion that it's excessive?

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  • Sara, sometimes people just need to hear those things whether they like it or not. My best friend isn't talking to me because I lectured her on being an adult and taking responsibility for her actions, then told her that the guy she's dating isn't perfect no matter how many times she says he is (he said she was "tainted," yeah that's not perfect). So now she ignores me. Whatever, sometimes it just has to be said.
  • Wrkn925Wrkn925 member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-confessions-judge?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:a03b4c19-8e6c-4972-bd3f-a1acff6a228fPost:156eb845-9ca4-41c4-8af0-9887e621cbd7">Re: AYG - Confessions - I Judge</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: AYG - Confessions - I Judge : We're going to the family party on Saturday. :)
    Posted by Celles[/QUOTE]

    Not exactly the same, but I skipped my half-sister's elementary school graduation two years ago because I didn't feel comfortable taking off work.  It was an hour away and on a work night. We're really close, and she understood.

    I know elementary=/= high school, but I hope it makes you feel better.
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  • Stabler left and Tara was cancelled?  God damnit, I'm throwing away my TV.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-confessions-judge?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:a03b4c19-8e6c-4972-bd3f-a1acff6a228fPost:a1d3e5e5-cee2-4cec-9124-7534536c9798">Re: AYG - Confessions - I Judge</a>:
    [QUOTE]Go ahead and flame, I'm the one who brought up the IUD thread. It just seems like this is brought up constantly anymore. And just like the wedding questions that are asked over and over, if you do a search you can find the answers you want. I dont think it needs it's own thread, every other day. Just my thoughts. And why is it ok for Cew to get excused from not wanting to hear it ,but no one else can have an opinion that it's excessive?
    Posted by kd.joseph[/QUOTE]

    I know you were referring to steph's post in that last part, but I just want to say that I don't excuse anyone. It was clearly identified, and if you (general you) don't want to read or talk about BC don't open it.

    It comes along with my job and the type of person I am though. I encourage people to ask a lot of questions when it comes to their mental and physical health, so I tend to defend the right to be able to do that.
    5/27/12
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  • edited May 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-confessions-judge?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:a03b4c19-8e6c-4972-bd3f-a1acff6a228fPost:13ac2935-c743-4d64-bcd7-16fa9f82e206">Re: AYG - Confessions - I Judge</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: AYG - Confessions - I Judge : Thanks Missy, this is exactly what I told her. I'm just worried about her. She's taking it SO hard, and I'm there for her, always, but I wish there was something more I could do. I've told her she is worth more than being lied to, and getting hurt. Sadly, I don't know that she fully believes she is. It kind of sucks, and I hope things get better for her soon. She needs to learn to let go of stuff.
    Posted by sarabear23[/QUOTE]

    Yeah, unfortunately, that's a lesson sometimes that needs to be learned the hard way. And yes, in many situations. You've done what you can do; you're being her friend. At this point, she'll have to figure out her value for herself. She needs to know who she is at her core and be true to that, because that's how she'll find the right person. And it may be next week, next month, or 5 years.

    PS - in all seriousness, does she live someplace where she can have a pet? Being able to get my first dog really helped me focus on something else besides me. Obviously, she has to be willing to commit to caring for the pet as well, though. It's a major step.
    image
    Do not mess in the affairs of dinosaurs because you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
    I love you Missy. Even though you are not smart enough to take online quizzes to find out really important information. ~cew
  • CellesCelles member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    Thanks guys -- I do feel a bit better about it. :)  I'm sure he'll understand after I've had a chance to talk to him, but being a foster kid (whose father has actually used the threat of claiming custody to extort money from my birth mom/his adopted mom), he's had more than enough abandonment and rejection to deal with. I don't want to inadvertantly contribute to it.
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  • Sarah, your governor blows goats.  I'd love to flame my governor, but I think it would be an AATB wall-o-text of epic proportions and I feel like I should spare you lovely ladies of that madness.
    panther
  • MandK9MandK9 member
    First Comment
    AND now I judge the stupid kid sitting across the aisle from me on the bus who just muttered, "Learn fucking English" to himself, referring to the Chinese women having a conversation (in appropriate volume) behind me. 

    WTF?
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-confessions-judge?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:a03b4c19-8e6c-4972-bd3f-a1acff6a228fPost:18ac58cf-108e-468c-a286-48f77731b889">Re: AYG - Confessions - I Judge</a>:
    [QUOTE]Sarah, your governor blows goats.  I'd love to flame my governor, but I think it would be an AATB wall-o-text of epic proportions and I feel like I should spare you lovely ladies of that madness.
    Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]

    Ditto.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-confessions-judge?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:a03b4c19-8e6c-4972-bd3f-a1acff6a228fPost:41b4686b-09ad-4420-933a-89e49b9908f5">Re: AYG - Confessions - I Judge</a>:
    [QUOTE]AND now I judge the stupid kid sitting across the aisle from me on the bus who just muttered, "Learn fucking English" to himself, referring to the Chinese women having a conversation (in appropriate volume) behind me.  WTF?
    Posted by MandK9[/QUOTE]

    Will you bitch slap that fucker right in his dirty mouth for me?
    panther
  • CellesCelles member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-confessions-judge?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:a03b4c19-8e6c-4972-bd3f-a1acff6a228fPost:2987edd2-bf07-448a-b399-75d7aafedd9e">Re: AYG - Confessions - I Judge</a>:
    [QUOTE]CELLES!  Did I miss you coming to Calgary?  I am sad if I did.
    Posted by rhonwynv[/QUOTE]

    I was only there for a day! I flew up on Thursday night and we started the three day drive on Saturday morning.

    I didn't have time for any GTG's so I was kind of quiet about it.  There were knotties -- and guildies -- I would have loved to meet if we hadn't been in such a rush.  :(
    image
  • Celles, that's sad about your brother's history. But you communicating with him ahead of time and letting him know that you want to be there but aren't able to be is not abandonment. I know you know this, but if anything, you are modeling a healthy demonstration of boundary-setting that will hopefully help him in the future when things don't go his way. There's always going to be a situation in his life where someone will bail or not be able to be there, and in this case you are giving him the chance to see that it's not personal and that people can still love and care about him even if they're not always there.



    image
    Taco cat: Always a palindrome. ALWAYS, okay J&K?

    "cool......insult my size 2 body or my natural brown hair...or the fact that my parents own a country club, I have no budget for a wedding, and I have horses. I really dont care. Its better then having roots." ~ futurepivko
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-confessions-judge?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:a03b4c19-8e6c-4972-bd3f-a1acff6a228fPost:41b4686b-09ad-4420-933a-89e49b9908f5">Re: AYG - Confessions - I Judge</a>:
    [QUOTE]AND now I judge the stupid kid sitting across the aisle from me on the bus who just muttered, "Learn fucking English" to himself, referring to the Chinese women having a conversation (in appropriate volume) behind me.  WTF?
    Posted by MandK9[/QUOTE]

    Disgusting. I wonder if he's friends with whats-her-face from UCLA with the youtube video.



    image
    Taco cat: Always a palindrome. ALWAYS, okay J&K?

    "cool......insult my size 2 body or my natural brown hair...or the fact that my parents own a country club, I have no budget for a wedding, and I have horses. I really dont care. Its better then having roots." ~ futurepivko
  • FYI - not only is Stabler not coming back, but Benson is getting a promotion midseason, so they are looking for a "replacement" for her.

    RIP good SVU. It's like Grissom and Sidle and Warrick all leaving CSI.
    image
    Do not mess in the affairs of dinosaurs because you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
    I love you Missy. Even though you are not smart enough to take online quizzes to find out really important information. ~cew
  • Soooo I don't know what this is but its bothering me.  I recently ran in a marathon relay 6.5 mile leg.  Now I am really torn I really want to sign up for a Sprint Triathalon (.5 mile swin, 12 mile bike, 3.1mile run) in September but I also really want to run the half marathon in October. 
    I have found a training schedule for over the summer (I teach so I get summers off) I really want to do both and I think training for one will also help train for the other.  I really think I can do it.

    My FI told me he doesn't think I can do it.  I am crushed. 

    My FI runs half marathons regularly and I don't know if he is trying to be realistic or if he feels that I am stealing his thunder. But it kind of hurt my feelings and I am really torn I don't want to choose one or the other.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-confessions-judge?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:a03b4c19-8e6c-4972-bd3f-a1acff6a228fPost:22d4ab6c-d6bf-4d0c-9b95-8e1063c3e2e9">Re: AYG - Confessions - I Judge</a>:
    [QUOTE]Soooo I don't know what this is but its bothering me.  I recently ran in a marathon relay 6.5 mile leg.  Now I am really torn I really want to sign up for a Sprint Triathalon (.5 mile swin, 12 mile bike, 3.1mile run) in September but I also really want to run the half marathon in October.  I have found a training schedule for over the summer (I teach so I get summers off) I really want to do both and I think training for one will also help train for the other. <strong> I really think I can do it. My FI told me he doesn't think I can do it.</strong>  I am crushed.  My FI runs half marathons regularly and I don't know if he is trying to be realistic or if he feels that I am stealing his thunder. But it kind of hurt my feelings and I am really torn I don't want to choose one or the other.
    Posted by DNAtime[/QUOTE]

    that's unhealthy
    5/27/12
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  • MandK9MandK9 member
    First Comment
    Yeah the kid is an asshat. He's all surly, probably 16ish and texting for hours on end. I don't like him.
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  • Missy, I heard a rumor that Jennifer Love Hewitt was being considered for the replacement.  *gag*
    panther
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