Holiday Confessions

kikibaby

Got gripes against the in-laws?  FI/H get you something lame?  Spill it here.


I have a really petty one.  SIL & BIL gave everyone pictures of the baby for Christmas (regular 4 x 6's, in a plain envelope) and a frame.  I didn't mind at all, because obviously, they just had a baby so I didn't expect them to have money for gifts. 

Then we went over there Christmas Day... and they'd gotten each other about $500 worth of gifts (SIL got $350 hiking boots).  My eyes rolled.

baystateapple

My BIL was really mean to my SIL when we were there.  And he kept asking me and my other BIL's girlfriend to back him up.  It was horribly awkward.  I love them both, and I hate to see them fighting like that.  It sucked.

[Deleted User]

We actually had a pretty quiet holiday. I mean, I guess it was nice not running back and forth between my parents and H's parents house since we weren't home.

It was hard for me to get in the spirit again this year and for some reason, I felt a serious case of sadness yesterday & started crying. I have had no motivation to get anything done today. I am hoping going to see the lights display tonight is going to cheer me up.

salt78

Christmas Dinner at my SIL's house was an absolute disaster. It's a long story, but the whole day was awkward and uncomfortable for various reasons and basically it ended with me getting into an argument with some disgusting random person that was there with his wife (like seriously no one in the family even knew who he was besides SIL so I have no idea why he was at dinner) because he was picking fights with me about football. I kept telling him to leave me alone and he wouldn't stop. Thankfully H was about as ready to go as I was.

Then we went to my dad's which was a million times better thankgod.

Pirata13

My confession is I was kind of glad my crazy cousin wasn't feeling well and didn't come. My other cousin (said cousin's sister) & I were able to have some great conversations without her there.

On the other side of that though, it definitely sounds like something serious, and for that I am not glad. She was having a migraine but also dizziness and tinlging in the body. And somehow the rest of her immediate family has only realized now she has some serious mental problems. So maybe all of this will force that to be dealt with, which would be a good thing.

emilyinchile

H and I got a laugh out of finding out that one aunt is a Reiki healer, since Reiki is all about sending out good vibes. This is the same woman who asked - in front of her 9 year old son and the entire family, as we were opening presents - if one of her son's gifts came with the gift receipt because he'd already gotten one. Wow, way to teach your child gratitude and make his uncle feel great about the gift he picked out. Accept the present graciously. Because really, can one have too many Buzz Lightyear bubble blowers?

She's also the giver of my hideous flower/ballerina box present, so I feel like she just fails at Christmas.

Summer2011Bride

Not trying to sound rude or ungrateful, but my FIL's give me the WORST presents ever. They never ask what I would like or if we would like something for our apt. She gives me candy (I am trying to eat healthy and she knows this) and sews me pillow covers and a quilt that don't match with anything in our place.

I know I sound like an ungrateful b*tch, but I always put a lot of thought into their present. This year, I got them a gift certificate to this pricier tapas lounge/restaurant they like to go to but don't want to spend the money. They loved it. I just wish they would ask me what I would like or give me a gift card I could use or something.

Pirata13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_holiday-confessions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:ec45a3c0-4b3a-4af4-88a4-16051397692cPost:94d3df71-7866-4ecc-8613-5600e77f990f">Re: Holiday Confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]Christmas Dinner at my SIL's house was an absolute disaster. It's a long story, but the whole day was awkward and uncomfortable for various reasons and basically it ended with me getting into an argument with some disgusting random person that was there with his wife (like seriously no one in the family even knew who he was besides SIL so I have no idea why he was at dinner) because he was picking fights with me about football. I kept telling him to leave me alone and he wouldn't stop. Thankfully H was about as ready to go as I was. Then we went to my dad's which was a million times better thankgod.
Posted by salt78[/QUOTE]

Boooo! You should come to Christmas in Pittsburgh next year. *Wink*

Celles

The only person I bought a gift for this year was my little brother (I got him a subscription to Netflix), since we are trying to rebuild our relationship and I thought it was an important gesture.  I made handmade gifts for my birth family since I spent Christmas with them, and did not give gifts to my entire "other family" (except for my brother).  Money is just too tight with the new house, the move, double utilities -- we still own the old place -- and the wedding in a little less than a month and a half.  I know everyone understands, but I confess that still feel like a complete failure of an adult. 

Queen Jane

FMIL gave us and FBIL & FSIL gift cards for a restaurant. When we opened them she states "And you know, maaaaaybe you all will decide to go together and when you do, you'll call up and invite Grandma Mary (that's how she refers to herself)."

Really, she just wants to go and hold the babies while we eat. Or babysit while we go. Really, it's for her. It might not sound like much, but, I see this woman every day. EVERY DAY. Ugh.

Edited for typo

crfische

My mom gives me holiday decorations every year, and a cookbook. If I were the decorating or cooking type, I'd totally use them because they are super cute and have good eats in them.

I always hope she's not disappointed in me because I'm not that way. Because she SO is, and is the best mom ever. She knows I don't decorate or bake or cook, but she - without fail - gives me this stuff every year.

I don't want to let her down, but I don't want to decorate or cook either.

salt78

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_holiday-confessions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ec45a3c0-4b3a-4af4-88a4-16051397692cPost:b5bc748d-cc21-40e3-8779-f768c94d9bef">Re: Holiday Confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Holiday Confessions : Boooo! You should come to Christmas in Pittsburgh next year. *Wink*
Posted by Pirata13[/QUOTE]

<div>Just as long as no one will pick fights with me about football. The douchecanoe at dinner was a Steelers fan. (Who kept telling me over and over again whether I wanted to hear it or not that the reason why Steelers fans really don't mind the Ravens is because our team poses no threat to them whatsoever. I'm sure you can imagine that it all went downhill from there.)</div>

kikibaby

BTW, Jane, I've been meaning to tell you that your kid is really cute.

cac847

I spent the first part of Christmas Eve at an outdoor shooting range. Not really my idea of a good time, but it was worth it to see FI's grandfather for the first time since the summer and since he was diagnosed with a lung tumor. I'm pissed that we couldn't give him the present we got him because his grandmother (the reason why I haven't seen him in so long) refuses to celebrate Christmas this year and threw away all the cards and presents they got. I hate her.

katiewhompus

Eh, I'm still feeling a little brattish over my presents from H's family. It was mostly baby stuff which was a bit of a downer because I'm still not out of the fire and they know I've been having serious complications and did not want to get baby stuff yet. They also bought us the start of a Christmas village for next year. While the adult in my wants to be excited, and I am grateful, it's also the kind of thing H and I really wanted to do on our own and the houses they picked out weren't the direction we wanted to go at all.

I guess I'm just whining because there is a lot of stuff we actually could use/need right now, and instead they blew money on stuff we don't want...

Then my dad was a crankass all of yesterday because we didn't do Christmas how he wanted to do it, but he never told any of us how he wanted to do it. not a huge thing but it definitely put a damper on the holiday to listen to him the entire next day.

salt78

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_holiday-confessions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ec45a3c0-4b3a-4af4-88a4-16051397692cPost:be80653c-a52e-455d-816e-38dbd308bc66">Re: Holiday Confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm pissed that we couldn't give him the present we got him because his grandmother (the reason why I haven't seen him in so long) refuses to celebrate Christmas this year and threw away all the cards and presents they got. I hate her.
Posted by cac847[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>WTF!

</div>

mica178

I confess that I'm irritated about my sister's combined wedding-Christmas gift to H and me.  I know that it's a regift and completely thoughtless (I told her that I got H and myself new iPods as marriage gifts, so why did she get us new iPods as wedding/Christmas gifts?).  I get that she's wrapped up in her budding relationship with one of the world's biggest losers, but c'mon. 

I confess that I don't feel guilty in the least not giving my sister's boyfriend a Christmas gift.  My parents pay part of his rent and take him and my sister out for free meals all the time.  I'm not adding to the gravy train.

LDYGTR13

I said it earlier, and I know I'm being a brat about it. But it's not nice that H sent me pictures of a coach purse and jewelry that he was thinking about buying me and then got me body wash, massage oil, and hand soap and an IOU for a dog for Christmas.

It wasn't nice at all, Hubs.

Mrs.B6302007

I felt bad because we evidently showed up too early at the B's Christmas dinner at SIL/BIL's house.  My MIL told us 3:30-4:00 so we came at 3:15.

Yeah, dinner was at 5.

 I was also frustrated because Baby Bee needed to nap something awful and we could have stayed put at my aunt's for awhile longer so she could have napped better.

BIL/SIL didn't keep our $25 couple gift agreement.   They went waaaay over and so now I feel like what I made for them wasn't "enough".

LDYGTR13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_holiday-confessions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ec45a3c0-4b3a-4af4-88a4-16051397692cPost:be80653c-a52e-455d-816e-38dbd308bc66">Re: Holiday Confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]I spent the first part of Christmas Eve at an outdoor shooting range. Not really my idea of a good time, but it was worth it to see FI's grandfather for the first time since the summer and since he was diagnosed with a lung tumor. I'm pissed that we couldn't give him the present we got him because his grandmother (the reason why I haven't seen him in so long) refuses to celebrate Christmas this year and threw away all the cards and presents they got. I hate her.
Posted by cac847[/QUOTE]

Who the F does that!? I want to hit her for you. Even if she IS old.

NuggetBrain

My MIL always gets clothing for me that doesn't suit my style at all.  Example - she got me two hoodies for Christmas, but they were both white.  I literally don't own a single white shirt or sweater or anything, and that's because I'm horribly clumsy and always spill on myself.  She knows this.  She bought them anyways.  Also, she always buys things in the wrong size (example - she got me a jogging suit, with the top an XL and the bottoms a M.  I'm a L.)  I really wish she'd just give me a gift card to a store, or something other than clothing because I never end up wearing it.

I love the coat Noodle bought me, but it's also white and he also knows that I'm horribly messy and terrified of ruining it by spilling something, or brushing up against something.  I already got a little bit of foundation on the collar from falling asleep in the car on it.  But I'll wear it because I don't want to hurt his feelings. 

He also got me a Powerball ticket for my stocking, but he bought it for the 12/22 drawing on accident, so when I opened it I already knew I lost.  Christmas fail, Noodle.

Lastly, my brother once again didn't get me anything for Christmas while we got him something.  Not even a card.  And I'm pissed about it because and he actually has a good paying job, but he stays with my mom rent free, and spends all his money on stupid fancy watches for himself, and video games, and going out every weekend downtown to drink and throw cash around.  He's going to be 26 next year and I want to tell him to grow the f*ck up and start acting like an adult.

Mrs.B6302007

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_holiday-confessions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ec45a3c0-4b3a-4af4-88a4-16051397692cPost:fd02613b-a8cc-4390-922c-efa6cba67b9c">Re: Holiday Confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]I said it earlier, and I know I'm being a brat about it. But it's not nice that H sent me pictures of a coach purse and jewelry that he was thinking about buying me and then got me body wash, massage oil, and hand soap and an IOU for a dog for Christmas. It wasn't nice at all, Hubs.
Posted by LDYGTR13[/QUOTE]


Oh, man.  I'd go out and buy the purse and then hit him with it. 

  *disclaimer - I'm totally joking.

LDYGTR13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_holiday-confessions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ec45a3c0-4b3a-4af4-88a4-16051397692cPost:030a8976-72ff-4083-b173-454294dcafef">Re: Holiday Confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]I felt bad because we evidently showed up too early at the B's Christmas dinner at SIL/BIL's house.  My MIL told us 3:30-4:00 so we came at 3:15. Yeah, dinner was at 5.  I was also frustrated because Baby Bee needed to nap something awful and we could have stayed put at my aunt's for awhile longer so she could have napped better. <strong>BIL/SIL didn't keep our $25 couple gift agreement.   They went waaaay over and so now I feel like what I made for them wasn't "enough".</strong>
Posted by Mrs.B6302007[/QUOTE]

I hate that. H's family did something similar and we picked names. BIL's uncle got H and got him a pair of boot socks and a $10 gift card for Wal-Mart - and then MIL spent about $50 each on EVERYONE - eventhough she's the reason we picked names (she didn't want to over spend this year). She got us a joint present that has nothing to do with me - a wireless keyboard and mouse (H has been begging for one for the living room). So yay.

The Mel and Todd Show

I confess that I was thrilled to only see my family for Christmas.  My parents came on Saturday, and they understand that it doesn't need to be an all day event...they arrived around 11:30 and left before 4:00.  Around 6:00 we heard from FIs family that they wouldn't be coming on Sunday because of the snow. 

I do love FIs family, but they travel in large numbers.  To see his parents, we also have to have his grandparents, and both sisters and their boyfriends.  That's 8 extra people in our wee two bedroom place.  It always ends up being hot, loud, and annoying...4 of the 8 adults bring their laptops and just sit on my sofa screwing around on the internet.  And even though we keep bedroom doors closed when company comes, I always find FMIL sprawled across my bed at some point in the day.  I'm GD thrilled that they couldn't come. 

LDYGTR13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_holiday-confessions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ec45a3c0-4b3a-4af4-88a4-16051397692cPost:22eba692-b821-4df7-a3c4-36a92f2c9337">Re: Holiday Confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Holiday Confessions : Oh, man.  I'd go out and buy the purse and then hit him with it.    <strong><em>*disclaimer - I'm totally joking.</em></strong>
Posted by Mrs.B6302007[/QUOTE]

Good thing you added that disclaimer - don't want that to come up in court one day!

And yes, I wanted to. I feel totally ungrateful for the bath stuff and the IOU for the basset hound, but we don't need another damn animal (we have a lab, a cat, 2 rats and 2 tarantulas *eek*) and I have MORE than enough bath stuff. I guess I should be thankful that he's already given me a massage, but he used half of the bottle of massage oil, and it lasted 20 minutes...so...yeah.

I blame him for me not being super excited about it - I'm a horrible person.

kikibaby

I have another one- I didn't get anything my nephew, even though I really really wanted to.  I love him so much, but he has a lot of family that spoils him like crazy... so he got about a billion gifts.  I didn't want to get him something that wouldn't be used/appreciated.

Mrs.B6302007

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_holiday-confessions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ec45a3c0-4b3a-4af4-88a4-16051397692cPost:048cf5ab-5593-4115-800a-5346abf7856b">Re: Holiday Confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Holiday Confessions : Good thing you added that disclaimer - don't want that to come up in court one day!
Posted by LDYGTR13[/QUOTE]

I know, right?  =-)

Don't feel bad.  This is one of my gripes with "in lieu of favors" donations at weddings - you never tell someone what they're NOT getting.

salt78

LDY - I'd probably be kind of pissed too. Especially if I got an IOU for a dog that I didn't ask for in the first place. 

emilyinchile

I also confess that while I love H's extended family, they do one thing that drives me irrationally crazy. They live about 2.5 hours away without traffic. We usually go see them on holiday weekends. So I like to leave after lunch (this means around 4pm) so that we beat most of the traffic and don't get home too late because both traffic and late Sunday nights bother me.

This is how we always do it, yet they ALWAYS make a huge deal of "oh, you're leaving so soon?! why so early?! but it's so hot right now, stay a while and your drive will be cooler!" I know it's because they care and want to spend more time with us, but people, let me go home. H yesterday actually had to say "this has already been decided, we are leaving now."

Pirata13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_holiday-confessions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:ec45a3c0-4b3a-4af4-88a4-16051397692cPost:2afd8da7-7e81-46c1-b131-26c7a2b1d27a">Re: Holiday Confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Holiday Confessions : Just as long as no one will pick fights with me about football. The douchecanoe at dinner was a Steelers fan. (Who kept telling me over and over again whether I wanted to hear it or not that the reason why Steelers fans really don't mind the Ravens is because our team poses no threat to them whatsoever. I'm sure you can imagine that it all went downhill from there.)
Posted by salt78[/QUOTE]

No, we don't have any people that douchey in our family. We tease my SIL to no end about the Caps (hockey) but she does it right back to us when they score. But nothing ever escalates in our family. We just like to eat and drink.

salt78

I actually prefer the Penguins over the Caps. Go figure.