Etiquette

Holiday Confessions

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Re: Holiday Confessions

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_holiday-confessions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ec45a3c0-4b3a-4af4-88a4-16051397692cPost:70a8a7b8-fa62-467f-83eb-b7d94621e05c">Re: Holiday Confessions</a>:
    [QUOTE]I totally take pride in my amazing, loud burps, but I try to keep it at home.  My husband is such a lucky man.
    Posted by kikibaby[/QUOTE]


    Ha, I'm not gonna lie, Im the same way. It's his fault though. I used to keep my burps in until he told me to let it all out.
  • Oh.  I forgot one.  The "happy birthday Jesus" post brought it back for me. 
    I'm an atheist.  I don't talk about my religious beliefs with my parents becaue they're hardcore Catholics and it seems silly to flaunt to them that, in their eyes, I'll be going to hell.  Not believing in hell personally, I'm not too concerned, but I imagine the expected eternal damnation of one's child would keep a religious person up nights, so I keep it mum.  They are aware that I am not a member of the Catholic church and do not prescribe to the Catholic faith.  They are even aware that I do not prescribe to the beliefs of any Christian faith.  I just keep the whole "not only am I not a Christian, but I don't beieve in God at all, and I think you should have grown out of it by now, as well" part quiet for their sake. 

    Dad got me a rosary this year.  I'm irritated.  We don't normally exchange gifts with my parents on a large scale...we get them pictures of the kids in nice frames, they buy us something small for the house.  The holidays in my family are for the kids...once you reproduce, you stop getting the big ticket items.  So not only was it out of  character for my father to buy a gift that was "just for me," but it was pretty obvious that he was trying to send me a message.  I wouldn't purchase a book for him about evolution, why is it okay for him to purchase a rosary for me?  I feel like it was preachy and obnoxious.  I don't need to be saved. 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_holiday-confessions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ec45a3c0-4b3a-4af4-88a4-16051397692cPost:449a7903-e864-494e-a8d0-8e560af9b5ea">Re: Holiday Confessions</a>:
    [QUOTE]I confess that everytime I opened FB and saw "Merry Christmas," I thought to myself, "Fuuck Christmas."  I had to stay off the computer for most of the day.  Christmas sucked this year, for a lot of (probably petty) reasons.  Bah-humbug.
    Posted by tidetravel[/QUOTE]

    Dude, i agree with you.  So, so much.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_holiday-confessions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:ec45a3c0-4b3a-4af4-88a4-16051397692cPost:29f7671b-c133-4382-a9da-666b63fa2634">Re: Holiday Confessions</a>:
    [QUOTE]Oh.  I forgot one.  The "happy birthday Jesus" post brought it back for me.  I'm an atheist.  I don't talk about my religious beliefs with my parents becaue they're hardcore Catholics and it seems silly to flaunt to them that, in their eyes, I'll be going to hell.  Not believing in hell personally, I'm not too concerned, <strong>but I imagine the expected eternal damnation of one's child would keep a religious person up nights</strong>, so I keep it mum.  They are aware that I am not a member of the Catholic church and do not prescribe to the Catholic faith.  They are even aware that I do not prescribe to the beliefs of any Christian faith.  I just keep the whole "not only am I not a Christian, but I don't beieve in God at all, and I think you should have grown out of it by now, as well" part quiet for their sake.  Dad got me a rosary this year.  I'm irritated.  We don't normally exchange gifts with my parents on a large scale...we get them pictures of the kids in nice frames, they buy us something small for the house.  The holidays in my family are for the kids...once you reproduce, you stop getting the big ticket items.  So not only was it out of  character for my father to buy a gift that was "just for me," but it was pretty obvious that he was trying to send me a message.  I wouldn't purchase a book for him about evolution, why is it okay for him to purchase a rosary for me?  I feel like it was preachy and obnoxious.  I don't need to be saved. 
    Posted by The Mel and Todd Show[/QUOTE]

    I think you gave yourself an answer. Yeah, it was preachy. But he lvoes you. I doubt he did it out of spite or anything. At least that's now how you presented them.
    "In the old days my ass would be in your back yard picking cotton, so excuse me if I don't put much stock in how f*cking awesome the old days were." -Nuggs
  • I tend to just lurk but had to chime in with my (actually WR) gripe from this Christmas. My MIL asked to borrow the DVD of my professional wedding photos. She bought these frames earlier in the year that say "Brothers" and wanted to put a photo from the wedding into them and give them to my H and his brothers.

    That's fine. I gave her the DVD (which is I guess my first mistake). Come to find out, she printed out all sorts of photos, one of which being a family portrait of my BIL and SIL and their two kids. She bought a "Family" frame and put it in there, wrapped it up as a gift to give them. We were planning on doing the same thing, and considering they were the professional photos that we paid for on our own, I thought that would be a given to people NOT to take them and give them as their own gifts.

    Like I said, it's my own fault for handing it over in the first place, but I am having a hard time getting over it. Esp. since she wrapped it in a gift basket with clear cellophane and put it under the tree, so I had to stare at it all week. Okay, I'm done being petty!
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_holiday-confessions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ec45a3c0-4b3a-4af4-88a4-16051397692cPost:4cae2ae8-2154-4e6e-b63b-06cf4ec89c1b">Re: Holiday Confessions</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Holiday Confessions : Oooh.  I remember you! I still don't believe he spent that much on beer, buuut that's me. Can I just say that I'm f-ing tired of our families not sending us *anything* for the holidays OR for our birthdays?  <strong>We live in Europe, not fucking Timbuktu.</strong>
    Posted by Snippylynn[/QUOTE]

    Shipping out of the country sucks, but they could have ordered you something offline or something! That's what we do for our friends in Australia. Just buy stuff off of a website for a store she sent us a link to once. Voila!
  • Because we were in town for Christmas (many of my friends leave since they have family elsewhere), two of our friends thought it would be a good idea to go to this event a bar we're interested in trying was having on Sunday. They mentioned this last weekend. So we booked things around this past Sunday. We knew we wanted to watch football in the morning, but we kept the rest of the day free and didn't go out to dinner at any other time this week to accomodate that.

    Come Sunday, I ask if they still want to go, and say, "it's 2pm, we're free the rest of the day. Maybe we could go at 5 to have dinner?" I wait a few hours. Friend gets back to me and says she went shopping, then fell asleep, but will check with her BF. At this time, Oliver and I just started making dinner and none of us ended up doing anything.

    Same friends, a few months ago, wanted to meet for a drink after they were done with dinner on Friday night. We headed out to a bar and said, "meet up with you there or around there." Yeah, they never contacted us that night. They also skipped the party we had last weekend because they were tired from playing beer pong and fell asleep. We, on the other hand, participated in an even the GF organized a few weeks ago and went to her birthday celebration last Sunday.

    Sometimes, I get really sick of trying when it appears I'm the only one doing so.

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  • Also, Oliver and I have been going over finances lately. A friend owes us like $35 for a ticket to an event she never went to. But she said she'd pay it back. Yet everyday on FB she's like, "what's everyone doing that's free? I only have $7 in my bank account." Yes, this is the friend who lived with us and never paid rent, utilities, cat supplies or groceries for 9 months. If I do basic calculations of what we could have charged her fairly during that time, it makes me cry. It's best not to think about it. She's cat sitting for us in a few weeks and the mean part of me wants to say, "Well, instead of paying you, I'll just keep the money and take it off your tab."
    my read shelf:
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    40/112

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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_holiday-confessions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ec45a3c0-4b3a-4af4-88a4-16051397692cPost:11bc86f1-508f-4d33-ba27-cb6b485d89fb">Re: Holiday Confessions</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Holiday Confessions : Um...so...surprise! I just got your Christmas card back today. Not enough postage. Which is totally lame because I put more than enough stamps on it. The reason it didn't go through? Because it was to tall. It was a true square instead of a rectangle. Stupid. I'm so sorry :(
    Posted by louisvillebride21[/QUOTE]

    Aww.. that's okay!  Don't worry about it.  I am glad you tried!
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_holiday-confessions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:ec45a3c0-4b3a-4af4-88a4-16051397692cPost:f6a28bad-e060-4867-a15e-40d9ef49c59f">Re: Holiday Confessions</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Holiday Confessions : I think you gave yourself an answer. Yeah, it was preachy. But he lvoes you. I doubt he did it out of spite or anything. At least that's now how you presented them.
    Posted by louisvillebride21[/QUOTE]

    Damn it, LVB, I'm TRYING to be a petulant whiny child, here.  Please stop talking sense to me. 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_holiday-confessions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ec45a3c0-4b3a-4af4-88a4-16051397692cPost:29f7671b-c133-4382-a9da-666b63fa2634">Re: Holiday Confessions</a>:
    [QUOTE]Oh.  I forgot one.  The "happy birthday Jesus" post brought it back for me.  I'm an atheist.  I don't talk about my religious beliefs with my parents becaue they're hardcore Catholics and it seems silly to flaunt to them that, in their eyes, I'll be going to hell.  Not believing in hell personally, I'm not too concerned, but I imagine the expected eternal damnation of one's child would keep a religious person up nights, so I keep it mum.  They are aware that I am not a member of the Catholic church and do not prescribe to the Catholic faith.  They are even aware that I do not prescribe to the beliefs of any Christian faith.  I just keep the whole "not only am I not a Christian, but I don't beieve in God at all, and I think you should have grown out of it by now, as well" part quiet for their sake.  Dad got me a rosary this year.  I'm irritated.  We don't normally exchange gifts with my parents on a large scale...we get them pictures of the kids in nice frames, they buy us something small for the house.  The holidays in my family are for the kids...once you reproduce, you stop getting the big ticket items.  So not only was it out of  character for my father to buy a gift that was "just for me," but it was pretty obvious that he was trying to send me a message.  I wouldn't purchase a book for him about evolution, why is it okay for him to purchase a rosary for me?  I feel like it was preachy and obnoxious.  I don't need to be saved. 
    Posted by The Mel and Todd Show[/QUOTE]

    That would have pissed me off beyond belief. I'm SO not religious - agnostic is probably the best word for it - I'm just kinda apathetic towards the whole thing. I remember I spent the night at a friends house in like 8th grade and her mom MADE us pray the rosary before bed. I'm not catholic. I had never prayed a rosary. She gave me a pamphlet and sent me home with a plastic rosary and said she'd be praying for me. Yeah. No thanks.
  • Mel-I know what you mean.  I try to avoid the holidays with some people for the same reason.  Whenever I call my grandma around this time all I hear about is "If you want to deny the Lord our God fine, but promise me that when you have children you'll raise them as good Southern Baptists."  Ummm....no. 
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  • AK, I definitely agree that you should mention it to your mil. I'm not sure what her personality is like but I could see my mil seeing a sweater she bought for me on someone else and being like "um, ok, regifted only 6 hours later?" and being pissy.

    I understand about being pissed about couples spending more on each other than family, but yeah, we did this too. I think we spent about $200 on each other and then about $60 each for our families. They all are way better off financially than we are and don't need us to spend our money on them. I would side-eye it more if H spent more on his sister/niece/bil than he did me (unless we had already agreed on it)
  • Mery, that's reallyfucking annoying. I hate people like that.

    Chubby, also not cool and seems like a no-brainer.

    Mel, even though I'm sure LVB's right that your dad gave you the gift out of love, it would have bothered me too. A lot.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_holiday-confessions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ec45a3c0-4b3a-4af4-88a4-16051397692cPost:520026dc-56e3-4196-9147-fb344a56204b">Re: Holiday Confessions</a>:
    [QUOTE]Also, Oliver and I have been going over finances lately. A friend owes us like $35 for a ticket to an event she never went to. But she said she'd pay it back. Yet everyday on FB she's like, "what's everyone doing that's free? I only have $7 in my bank account." Yes, this is the friend who lived with us and never paid rent, utilities, cat supplies or groceries for 9 months. If I do basic calculations of what we could have charged her fairly during that time, it makes me cry. It's best not to think about it. She's cat sitting for us in a few weeks and the mean part of me wants to say, "Well, instead of paying you, I'll just keep the money and take it off your tab."
    Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

    Why are you paying her?! I would say that I'm surprised she'd even take your money, but based on what you've said about her, I'm really not surprised at all. But I definitely would have just asked her to do it as a favor rather than offering money.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_holiday-confessions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ec45a3c0-4b3a-4af4-88a4-16051397692cPost:e884899a-6723-4daf-8fd4-23d429446c36">Re: Holiday Confessions</a>:
    [QUOTE]Mel-I know what you mean.  I try to avoid the holidays with some people for the same reason.  Whenever I call my grandma around this time all I hear about is <strong>"If you want to deny the Lord our God fine, but promise me that when you have children you'll raise them as good Southern Baptists."</strong>  Ummm....no. 
    Posted by 1ofThoseDays[/QUOTE]

    My aunt didn't give us a wedding present because she doesn't feel we are married becase we weren't married in a church! Oh and we're horrible people because there was alcohol at our "wedding" too.

    This is my aunt who's unmarried daughter (a HEAVY drinker) "didn't know she was pregnant" until the baby was coming out - and now has fetal alcohol syndrome but they won't believe it. "she was a precious gift from God." - She was an accident and her mom was too involved in her own life/drinks to realize there was a kid growing inside of her. She wouldn't let her daughter move in with the baby daddy until they were married - a month after the kid was born.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_holiday-confessions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ec45a3c0-4b3a-4af4-88a4-16051397692cPost:520026dc-56e3-4196-9147-fb344a56204b">Re: Holiday Confessions</a>:
    [QUOTE]Also, Oliver and I have been going over finances lately. A friend owes us like $35 for a ticket to an event she never went to. But she said she'd pay it back. Yet everyday on FB she's like, "what's everyone doing that's free? I only have $7 in my bank account." Yes, this is the friend who lived with us and never paid rent, utilities, cat supplies or groceries for 9 months. If I do basic calculations of what we could have charged her fairly during that time, it makes me cry. It's best not to think about it. <strong>She's cat sitting for us in a few weeks and the mean part of me wants to say, "Well, instead of paying you, I'll just keep the money and take it off your tab."</strong>
    Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]


    You're not actually going to pay her to cat sit are you??  I would never pay a friend a do that, friends do that kind of stuff for free.  I would never pay HER to do it, that's for sure.  I'd definitely be saying I'd keep the money and put towards what she owes me.  There is nothing wrong with saying that.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_holiday-confessions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ec45a3c0-4b3a-4af4-88a4-16051397692cPost:86b71404-ba63-4fc4-ab2e-0d0f818c6240">Re: Holiday Confessions</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Holiday Confessions : Why are you paying her?! I would say that I'm surprised she'd even take your money, but based on what you've said about her, I'm really not surprised at all. But I definitely would have just asked her to do it as a favor rather than offering money.
    Posted by emilyinchile[/QUOTE]

    I'm surprised you're still TALKING to her after that fiasco!
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_holiday-confessions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ec45a3c0-4b3a-4af4-88a4-16051397692cPost:bab17f2e-470b-438f-8a17-3a1cbeacdcfc">Re: Holiday Confessions</a>:
    [QUOTE]I also hate the fact that I hosted a "day after Christmas" dinner last night for Tony's family and I got yelled at for making lasagna and not roast.  I'm sorry, I didn't want roast.  I know that Mom makes roast every year, but this was my first time having everyone over and my best dish is lasagna.  I don't think I've ever made a roast and I wanted everyone to enjoy their meal.  I also hate the fact that because I had a glass of wine with dinner, FBIL's wife, who I can't stand' did nothing but talk about what a drunk I am.  I had ONE glass of wine!
    Posted by 1ofThoseDays[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>It sounds like you are marrying in to a lovely family.

    </div>
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  • So I made my parents each a photo album with wedding pictures.  After giving them their gifts I come to find out that my older sister already made them both albums with pictures from MY wedding about a month ago. I'm so angry with her. Who does that?  When it's your wedding feel free to create whatever the eff you want with your pictures.  I just can't wrap my brain around it.  The pictures she used were ripped off of facebook so the quality is terrible.  Who doessss thatttt????? 
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_holiday-confessions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ec45a3c0-4b3a-4af4-88a4-16051397692cPost:0884d703-10a3-4cc0-8244-23314b26b7f8">Re: Holiday Confessions</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Holiday Confessions : Shipping out of the country sucks, but they could have ordered you something offline or something! That's what we do for our friends in Australia. Just buy stuff off of a website for a store she sent us a link to once. Voila!
    Posted by LDYGTR13[/QUOTE]

    Yeah.  We've tried that.  I mean, H's family does okay with that.  His parents randomly send us money and his sister sent us a set of dishes so that's definitely fine.  My family?  Yeah.  They've done nothing for us.  I'm pissed.  When we got married?  Nothing.  Not even cards from my mom or sisters.  GRRR.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_holiday-confessions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:ec45a3c0-4b3a-4af4-88a4-16051397692cPost:9fca7ce0-715d-4c8c-a492-bddf608fb172">Re: Holiday Confessions</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Holiday Confessions : My aunt didn't give us a wedding present because she doesn't feel we are married becase we weren't married in a church! Oh and we're horrible people because there was alcohol at our "wedding" too. This is my aunt who's unmarried daughter (a HEAVY drinker) "didn't know she was pregnant" until the baby was coming out - and now has fetal alcohol syndrome but they won't believe it. "she was a precious gift from God." - She was an accident and her mom was too involved in her own life/drinks to realize there was a kid growing inside of her. She wouldn't let her daughter move in with the baby daddy until they were married - a month after the kid was born.
    Posted by LDYGTR13[/QUOTE]

    W.T.F. 
  • I have another one.

    When I was in HS, my dad got me a couple of Precious Moments ceramic figurines.  Even though I've outgrown them (for  lack of a better word) they were very thoughtful presents from my dad for special occassions (graduation for one) so I have them on display in my curio cabinet even though I don't collect them.

    MIL thinks I collect them so guess what I get all the time?

    We have one for our wedding and one she got me this year for my first Christmas as a mommy.  THose I don't mind necessarily but the plastic PM dolls?  Yeah, I can do without one each year for my birth month and such.  I got another one this year.
    The Bee Hive Est. June 30, 2007
    "So I sing a song of love, Julia"
    06.10.10

    BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
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  • Oh, another one.

    I told my FIL about a month ago what we were going to get MIL for Christmas.  She loves Jackie Evancho and since she just realeased a DVD/CD, it was perfect.  She unwraps it and says, "I just bought this last week when we were at Target." (she can't drive so he was with her)  We look at him.  "Oops.  I forgot," he says.  And who the heck buys themselves something so close to Christmas anyway?  Gah.
    The Bee Hive Est. June 30, 2007
    "So I sing a song of love, Julia"
    06.10.10

    BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
    image

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_holiday-confessions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ec45a3c0-4b3a-4af4-88a4-16051397692cPost:47ce79c8-f6c8-4fd0-b129-e29449c8e766">Re: Holiday Confessions</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Holiday Confessions :  Everyone else was like "Oh my goodness, where's the roast?  What are we going to eat?!"
    Posted by 1ofThoseDays[/QUOTE]

    <div>As unfunny as the situation itself was, this made me CQTM. They sound very overdramatic.</div>
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_holiday-confessions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ec45a3c0-4b3a-4af4-88a4-16051397692cPost:b0981321-1f71-4625-953e-3335fbb21529">Re: Holiday Confessions</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Holiday Confessions : Yeah.  We've tried that.  I mean, H's family does okay with that.  His parents randomly send us money and his sister sent us a set of dishes so that's definitely fine.  My family?  Yeah.  They've done nothing for us.  I'm pissed.  When we got married?  Nothing.  Not even cards from my mom or sisters.  GRRR.
    Posted by Snippylynn[/QUOTE]


    Not cool, Snips. Why do people suck so much? Especially family members.
  • They are, and I feel like I'm going to rip the muscles in my eyes because of rolling the so hard when they do stuff like this.
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  • Dude, Salt, we actually thwarted FILs attempt to go and have our youngest baptized without our knowledge.  Why would any church even agree to such a thing?  Whatever.  We're huge disappointments to both families.  At least they'll never run out of things to pray for. 
  • Hilarious conversation-- H called his mom last night (we couldn't reach them on Christmas) and she was telling him about going to the Mormon church for a missionary thing and how wrong they all are.  It was fucking hilarious to listen to her.  I wonder what she'd say if I told her MY ideas on religion.
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